The CBJ Haters
@TheCBJHaters
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Alter-ego to @CBJArtillery // Lousy takeaways // Insider on shlongs & famous for telling the other 31 teams to fuck off // #SticksOutForKivi 🇱🇻
In One
Joined March 2019
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Pinned Tweet
First tweet:
The only thing we hate more than our own team, are these fucking dweebs
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Empty seats in a Cup Final game 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Amerant Bank Arena LIT UP for the Panthers second goal 💥
📺: ABC/ESPN+
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Fuck you piece of shit
Congratulations on a fabulous career, Jeff Carter!
Wishing you all the best in retirement! 👏
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Fun fact: The Columbus Blue Jackets have never lost to the Seattle Kraken in the history of their franchise
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I stand with Elvis
"It's an emotional game."
Elvis Merzlikins explains his side of the story of the fight with Tom Wilson in the net during overtime.
#CBJ
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Dear
@NHL
, we played the remainder of the season on NHL20 and the 2020 Stanley Cup Champions are the Columbus Blue Jackets. Please give us the Cup now
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I would do many things to get him back behind our bench
I do not give a damn what your take on that is
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The swagger on this team is through the roof right now. Whether this was a “fuck you” or a playful “hey bud,” it bugged him. Ya love to see it
Panarin was working on stickhandling in warmups and some of his former teammates were sending pucks his way. He wasn’t amused.
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“You really believe that statement?”
If Boone Jenner’s name is on those words, damn right I believe it. Barstool sucks, Columbus rules. Lets get to hockey.
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Columbus Playoff hockey is a top tier sports atmosphere and trumps game day at The Shoe easily
April 16, 2019: The Columbus Blue Jackets defeat Tampa Bay 7-3 in Game 4 of the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs to sweep the series from the Presidents’ Trophy winning Lightning.
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Fantilli getting relegated to wing for Boone is, to put it kindly, the dumbest fucking thing I’ve seen that jackass coach do all fucking season
#CBJ
head coach Pascal Vincent said the plan is for Boone Jenner (fractured jaw) to return to the lineup Friday. He’ll likely center Adam Fantilli and Jack Roslovic against the Devils.
Pazzy also says Elvis Merzlikins will play again against New Jersey.
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John Tortorella gets Columbus. Don’t ever tell us he’s not the right guy for the job here. He’s fucking perfect.
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The Jackets haven’t allowed a goal since the creation of our account. You’re all fucking welcome.
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The Jackets GM job is going to be the most sought after one in the league. Basically a blank canvas, young studs loaded up and down the system, good veteran players, and a fanbase and downtown that will explode with a winner
It’s a sleeping giant, it always has been. We just
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This is very much the changing of an era in Columbus Blue Jackets Hockey. Don Waddell being named Pres. of Hockey Ops basically means he’ll assess the situation on his own and go through his own GM hiring process. If the CBJ was stuck in their ways, they would’ve just hired a new
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Elvis is gonna get so mad about this comment and he’s gonna put up a MONSTER .898/3.45 season next year 😤
Elvis Merzlikins’ name has been at the center of trade rumors. New GM Don Waddell said, not so fast 😳
(h/t
@Aportzline
)
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Whenever we see people saying Torts is why players leave Columbus:
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This whole Blue Jackets should only wear blue argument is so dumb. We’re not honoring the redcoats by wearing red. Not everything has to be civil war themed or follow the “blue” part of our name...
OUR MASCOT IS A LIME GREEN BUG
Chill tf out
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“Jarmo was an absolute train wreck in Columbus”
My response to that every time: “ah so you’re a COVID Jackets fan”
On this day in 2017, the Blue Jackets acquired Artemi Panarin, Tyler Motte, a sixth-round pick in 2017 from the Blackhawks for Brandon Saad, Anton Forsberg, and fifth-round pick in 2018
#Hockey365
#CBJ
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As it sits right now…
Gaudreau-Jenner-Laine
Johnson-Fantilli-Marchenko
Texier-Roslovic-Chinakhov
Robinson-Kuraly-Danforth
Werenski-Severson
Provorov-Boqvist
Bean-Gudbranson
Merzlikins
Tarasov
—
Sillinger
Peeke
Olivier/Blankenburg
Still moves to be made though
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In a couple days, the Jackets have moved $18.35M in cap hit…
Voracek $8.25M
Nyquist $5.5M
Gavrikov $2.8M
Korpisalo $1.8M
For that they got in return:
2023 1st
2023 5th
2024 3rd
G Jon Gillies
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I will say… with Laine likely in a new uniform next season… that Bjorkstrand trade looks extremely terrible.
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Let’s recap:
Fantilli 1-1-2
Marchenko 3-0-3 🎩
Johnson 1-1-2
Sillinger 1-1-2
Chinakhov 0-2-2
Let the kids play!!!
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Bro he beat the piss out of Rempe
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I miss John Tortorella daily
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In fairness, we should’ve all realized that Don is not going to dick around with the Jarmo kids. We were all hyper focused on Laine and Elvis, but the roster purge is going to go beyond just a few guys. Only a select few will be safe tbh
Best of luck to Tex in St. Louis
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I about had a heart attack…
We are beyond excited to share that our very own Rick Nash has been named the General Manager of Hockey Canada for the upcoming IIHF World Championships!
Congratulations Rick!!!
📝
@HockeyCanada
|
#CBJ
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I’m not kidding, I would seriously consider him if they look to replace PV. He just seems to have what PV and Larsen don’t
"I just told our guys I love them."
An emotional Trent Vogelhuber talking about his
@monstershockey
team.
Easy to see why his guys bought in and played their hearts out for him.
@InsideAHLHockey
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The last CBJ goaltender to win in MSG?
Matiss Kivlenieks
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Yegor Chinakhov would’ve been put on waivers if he did this
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Let go over this again:
Johnny Gaudreau
Zach Werenski
Patrik Laine
Adam Fantilli
Kent Johnson
Kirill Marchenko
Cole Sillinger
Yegor Chinakhov
David Jiricek
Denton Mateychuk
Daniil Tarasov
We have the pieces. We just need someone to put them together and fill in the cracks.
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Me: very happy
Fantilli
Lindstrom
Sillinger
Del Bel Belluz
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Laine is 11-7–18 in his last 9 games… not a point per game, TWO points per game
What a fuckin heater this kid is on
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Florida dropped $70M on Bob who can’t win in the playoffs and his replacement does this ⬇️
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For the record, Don Waddell was hired after the Canes finished 36-35-11 and 6th in the Metro in 2017-18
Since then, Carolina has made the playoffs 6 straight years, won 3 division titles, are 8-6 in playoff series, with 2 ECF appearances. 3 straight 100+ point seasons as well
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Y’all 🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮
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The Super Bowl halftime show next year should be Matt Duchene doing mediocre country covers while Panarin is opening and closing a garage door and Oshie is going five-hole on Bob the entire time
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Regardless of your take on the Jackets, one thing will always bring us together:
Fuck Bally Sports
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Last year everyone wanted Lars to hold guys accountable. That was a big reason why people wanted him out. Fast forward to today, Paz benches KJ because he slacked off in camp and he wants more from him (accountability) and now we’re all angry again
No offense, but pick a side
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Pascal Vincent really went on the air in Columbus and said “we were the better team last night”
I cannot deal with this guy anymore man Jesus Christ
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I’m gonna miss Rimer so much man. I know it’s time and it’s his choice, but there’ll never be anything like Jeff Rimer calling a Jackets game to me
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After sleeping on it…
Positives
-Elvis looked stellar
-Bean and Gudy were solid all night
-Fantilli looked like he belonged
-Silly had some fire/giddyup
Negatives
-Provorov sucked absolute ass
-Z/Peeke just looked bad
-Rest of the forwards looked lethargic
-***PUCK CONTROL***
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Y’all turned on Korpi on a fucking DIME. Used to be “Korpi is the future” now it’s “trade Korpi for a backup and forwards”
Here’s a crazy idea, why not keep both all-star caliber goalies?
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Elvis’s last two starts he’s gone a collective 80/86, for a .930 SV%
Dude is dialed. Hopefully this is his turning point in his career. It HAS to be
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Johnny Gaudreau, Zach Werenski, and Patrik Laine combine for almost $30M of the $83.5M cap. Thats 35.9% of our cap on 3 guys and 2 of them have been on IR for almost all of the last two seasons. The other one is woefully underperforming.
Absolute disaster.
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Panarin becomes a 100+ point player, Bob is a playoff legend… Gaudreau and Laine both fall head first off a cliff
We aren’t allowed to have nice things in Columbus 🙄
Highest sv% in a Cup Final in NHL history:
.984 — Sergei Bobrovsky (2024)
.974 — Patrick Roy (1996)
.972 — Rogie Vachon (1969)
.971 — Johnny Bower (1967)
.967 — Tim Thomas (2011)
So far, it's the best performance in NHL history.
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7 reasons the
#CBJ
will be far better this year than last:
1. Elvis will NOT be the worst goalie in the league again this year, too much talent for that. Will he be Vezina caliber? Probably not. But I’ll guarantee you he’ll be closer to 2021 Elvis than 2022-23 Elvis. Huge.
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You’re 15-24-10. You thought you were going to be competitive. So did I and a lot of others. I do think the roster can be competitive.
But it’s not.
Let the kids play and bench the oldies already. Theres no reason Jiri should be getting shopped back and forth from the A to Cbus
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Werenski-Severson
Provorov-Jiricek
Blankenburg-Gudbranson
Boqvist, Peeke, Bean
Tell me that’s still a bad D core and I’ll tie you up and throw you on 270
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I promise I’ll be the exact same way whenever the Jackets win the East for the first time
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Chicago receives:
Seth Jones
Columbus receives:
Adam Boqvist
Jake Bean
Cole Sillinger
David Jiricek
Take it on the chin, Haters… Jackets won that trade by a landslide
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Pierre-Luc Dubois being at Kivi’s ceremony should not trigger anyone. Period. If it does, re-evaluate yourself.
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If anyone has earned their stay in Cbus, it’s absolutely Lil Wrecking Ball Nathan Gerbe
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Since Jack Johnson’s “winning culture” bullshit...
Penguins: 1-7 in the Playoffs
Jackets: 8-5 in the Playoffs
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I swear this fan base just loves to complain about things…
-Dead last in the league with 13 games left
-No 1C on roster
-Already eliminated
Who gives a flying fuck if they want to try Patty at C? Y’all were just bitching about winning a game in OT the other day. Christ.
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I’ll reiterate this:
I don’t believe in rooting for your team to lose. You can get all the high draft picks in the world, but if you never learn how to win games you’re always going to be rebuilding and looking at the draft every year.
Last night’s win is a good thing and I
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Everyone was worried that Jarmo would make hasty trades to save his job
In reality he’s just pissing off his players to the point where they’d rather leave the club entirely than put up with his bullshit
It’s amazing how fast I’ve flipped on this, but Jarmo needs the boot. Now.
The Columbus Blue Jackets are increasingly appearing in the NHL rumor mill, with multiple players sharing their displeasure. How likely are they to make some trades?
@SpectorsHockey
’s Rumour Roundup:
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This game displays every reason why I was so adamant on getting Fantilli last season. Kid does it all man, he’s gonna be a star
Adam Fantilli with the dirty spin and dish here for the seventh Jackets goal. Laine gets the easy tap-in
#CBJ
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David Jiricek time
BREAKING:
#CBJ
are buying out the final year of Adam Boqvist’s contract, per Aaron Portzline.
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The whole intro video was a massive smack in the face to Bob, Bread, and Duchene... we fucking love it.
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How badass would it be if
@JRoslovic96
walked into the arena in a ‘Columbus Or No Where’ shirt..
@TheCBJArtillery
let’s make it happen
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I think people are seriously underestimating how much better the Jackets are going to be next year
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-Patrik Laine accepts his 2022-23 QO ($7.5M)
-Patrik Laine signs an 8-year extension for $77.5M ($9.68M AAV) beginning in the 2023-24 season
Jackets basically sign Laine to a 9-year, $85M ($9.4M AAV) deal that takes him right through his prime
Why wouldn’t you want that?
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JACKETS WIN AGAIN
What a fuckin game from the boys man. That was a top notch 2 points right there… ah fuck it…
ELVIS MY GUY HAVE A FUCKIN NIGHT
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Well we actually want to kill everyone in the Metro so...
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💡Idea 💡
-Jackets win lottery and pick 1st overall
-Jackets trade LAK pick, 2024 1st, 2025 1st, Sillinger, Ceulemans, Svozil, and Tarasov for 2nd overall
-Jackets run this top 6 for years to come:
Gaudreau-Bedard-Laine
Johnson-Fantilli-Marchenko
-Jackets win 5 Stanley Cups
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Yaknow what the best part about this team is? They’re goddamn team. There’s no stupid drama, no subliminal Instagram messages, no big cloud looming over everyone’s head. They’re just going out, working together, and playing hockey. And it’s damn fun to watch
#CBJ
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Btw, you cannot use the 2019-20 season against any of these players, Torts, or Jarmo in arguments. Ever.
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Jarmo collected Ivan Provorov and Damon Severson for a grand total of one singular asset that was ours (‘24/‘25 2nd)
Magician. Fucking magician.
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Positives:
•KJ is 2 points away from putting up a 40-point season as a rookie. Last one to do that was Luc
•Marchy put together a 20+ goal season in under 60 games
•Johnny is gonna clip 70+ points in his first season in union blue, on the worst team he’s ever been on
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The 3rd iteration of the reverse retro (if there is one that is, who knows) would likely be the cannon jersey
Please, please, please… just give us something like this
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This is downright embarrassing on
@NHLNetwork
’s part.
“If you asked them before the season no one would’ve said Bjorkstrand would be Columbus’ point leader”
Fucking liars. Half the fan base was split on Voracek and Bjorky. Hell we’ve been saying he’s gonna chalk 90 up ffs.
About damn time he gets some league recognition. Everyone in Columbus already knew this…
#CBJ
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Apparently there’s a diss track about Cole Sillinger by Kid Laroi… that’s cute
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Imagine being Fantilli and getting picked by the team you said you most wanted to go to
Imagine being Fantilli and you're 2 seconds away from living in Southern California (not the bad part with homeless guys are screaming and pooping all over the street, like the chill part in Orange County where every Range Rover is freshly waxed and if you don't have a Bentley to
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If we had Torts behind the bench we’d be a playoff team. Prove me wrong
(You can’t)
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“Werenski on over to Laine FIRES, turned aside REBOUND SCOOOOOORRRRREEEEESSSS KENT JOHNSON OVERTIME WINNER AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, THE COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS ARE STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS”
-coming soon
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Going all in was, and remains to this day the right decision. If anything they should traded for more pieces.
Tuukka Rask was the only thing the prevented the Jackets from making the 2019 Cup Final. If they would’ve won Game 5 in Boston, they would’ve won that series. Don’t
@TheCBJHaters
I aways thought jarmo was a weird average. He would seemingly always make the best move of the year and the worst. Panarin trade was amazing, but going all in instead of trading him for a kings ransom when he told you a year in advance he wouldn't be back is crazy.
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I don’t have an answer to this man. Firing a GM does nothing for you until the offseason. I don’t believe Pazzy is a bad coach. I do believe the roster is good enough to win games. They just aren’t.
I’m perplexed. And I don’t know if there is a fix.
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…. Anyways here’s an Adam Fantilli goal
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John Tortorella, Columbus will forever be grateful for you. Thank you for an unforgettable 6-year run. CBJ legend.
#ThankYouTorts
@JohnTortorella2
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Reminder of what Korpi can do:
@FlaPanthers
@PredsNHL
@BlueJacketsNHL
@rjosi90
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Korpisalo started all four
@BlueJacketsNHL
games last week with a perfect 4-0-0 record. His 16 wins this season rank tied for 4th in the NHL.
#NHLStats
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Been a fan for 24 years, this will be my first time attending opening night. I’m hype af
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Zach Werenski was arguably the best player on the team last year lmfao
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Korpi
2-2-0
2.75 GAA
.892 SV%
1-year/$1.150M contract
25 years old
Bob
1-2-1
3.87 GAA
.882 SV%
7-year/$70M contract
31 years old
Frog. Tea.
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Werenski-Jiricek
Provorov-Boqvist
Blankenburg-Gudbranson
With more talent coming up. That’s solid. I don’t care what your opinion is
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Johnny Gaudreau has been almost a ppg player since the 9 game losing streak in November.
9-43–52 in 59 GP including tonight. Mind you he hasn’t had consistent linemates since he signed here.
This is a really dumb tweet.
Johnny Gaudreau has 11 goals this season. He's getting almost $10 million for that performance.
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This was so deflating man. I really believe that if we would’ve won this game we would’ve gone to the Cup Finals that year. It was wide open
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The amount of people that legitimately think Johnny Gaudreau is shit and the Jackets should get rid of him is honestly hysterical to me. It’s also very alarming because it shows just how casual this fanbase is
Some of yall need to stick to whatever Chel franchise mode you have
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Before anyone say anything…
No.
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This series will be a giant dogfight every. single. night. Don’t expect anything less. The Jackets will have to scratch and claw for every damn inch. If we’re going to take down Goliath, we need EVERYONE believing. So get ready, because this is going to be wild.
#CoatsIn7
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