TheBrightonBard
@TheBrightonBard
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Lighthearted rhymes about Brighton & Hove, Sussex, football, and life as a Brit on the Great Plains of Oklahoma. Via a Hoveite of 30+ years. 🇬🇧🇺🇸 ⚽️ #BHAFC
Hove, annually.
Joined August 2019
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
THE PHONE CALL THAT CHANGED MY LIFE: A PERSONAL STORY ABOUT THE ALBION THAT I'VE NEVER SHARED BEFORE…
It was late March 2009 – just shy of 15 years ago - and I was at my desk in the offices of the company I worked for near Hove Station when my phone rang.
On the other end of
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A YOUNG LAD WHO HAS JUST BEEN TERRIBLY ADVISED
If Chelsea don’t bid,
He’ll be up a creek,
Stranded without a paddle,
And the future bleak.
Having rejected Liverpool,
And annoyed us too,
Moises I’d sack your agent,
If I were you.
#bhafc
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307
4K
A TRUE PRO AND A CREDIT TO THE CLUB
After full-time and as the boys left the pitch yesterday, this guy was beaming, high-fiving everyone and evidentially as delighted as anyone with the result.
And he didn’t even get to play this week.
Hats off Jason. 👊🏻💙
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SO CLASSY
Went over to the away support after the final whistle to applaud and swapped shirts with Pascal.
We miss you, Alexis. 💙
#bhafc
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SOLIDARITY WITH READING FANS 💙
Tonight at the Amex
And we stand as one
We had awful owners once
And it wasn’t fun.
Many times
We thought the end was nigh
And just like us
Reading mustn’t Dai.
#BHAFC
#ReadingFC
@SellBeforeWeDai
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Hope all you Mariners,
Got back alright,
And great to meet so many of you,
In the pub last night,
Fantastic supporters,
Did Grimsby proud,
Waving Haddocks,
And bloody loud!
(The atmosphere in town last night was just brilliant. Huge respect.
#gtfc
)
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With QPR two up against Leeds, I want to wish all
@IpswichTown
supporters the best of luck with your two games in hand.
My first ever top-flight match was in ‘81 watching Bobby Robson managing your special side and it would be great to see you in the Prem. 👍🏻
#itfc
#ipswichtown
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WHEN A LOCAL DJ GOES TO WATCH HIS SIDE PLAY FOOTBALL AND SPINS A FEW DISKS AS POST-MATCH ENTERTAINMENT.
(THIS IS UNREAL!! WOW!!! 💙)
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TEARS OF JOY
Three waitresses have already asked if I’m OK. ☺️
I am now.
Just.
Have a great Sunday night, everyone. 💙
#BHAFC
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IT’S ONLY JOÃO PEDRO COMING TO GIVE YOU A HUG!
The best video I’ve seen on here by a mile….👏🏻
UTA! 💙
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MITOMA CHANT?
(To ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman.)
“Oh, I love Mitoma
I really am a fan
He petrifies all right-backs
Does our winger from Japan.
Now playing for us Seagulls
In Sussex by the Sea
And no you can’t afford him
As 200 mill would be the fee.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la….”
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“Fucking shit”, “Pervis is a clown”, “Why did Potter change the fucking team.”, “embarrassing to watch”.
I tell you what’s embarrassing…
…reading these kind of comments from ‘fans’.
Struggling to be light-hearted tonight with these mugs around on Twitter.
We’re 4th
#bhafc
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So he has time to travel the 212 miles to Anfield, but not the 49 to the Amex to see our Captain? 🤷🏻♂️
#BHAFC
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To see Veltman wearing a grin as big as a Cheshire cat running off the bench to celebrate next to the corner flag with Solly is truly a thing of beauty.
#bhafc
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This guy put in a HUGE shift today.
Relentless.
I’d love to know the player distance stats as he was everywhere.
Yes he’s a striker, but it shows that contributing isn’t JUST about scoring.
What a gem.
#bhafc
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My contribution to
#NationalPoetryDay
on
@SkySportsNews
this morning.
It was lovely to wake up to the positive messages, everyone. Thank you. 💙👍🏻☺️
#BHAFC
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SHE SAID YES!!! 🙌🏻
Well, today of all days,
I just asked Mrs Bard,
If living back in Sussex,
Would for her be really hard.
But she loves our county,
And we lived there once before,
So we’re now planning to come back,
So we can retire near the shore. ☺️
#SussexDay
#hove
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My name is Mitoma,
And I don’t wish to boast,
But I won’t be eating tonight,
As I’ve just enjoyed Ben White on toast.
😋
#BHAFC
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CHELSEA FC - SOME EMOTIONAL
THOUGHTS
06.00 here and I wake to see the investment funded buffoons in west London have again shamelessly turned to BHAFC as they try to buy success.
For me, it cements Chelsea’s place on top of the league.
Top of the league of clubs so easy to
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A PAUSE FOR THOUGHT….
Late yesterday afternoon, just as Sussex was heading to bed, a small
cardboard package was delivered to me, the contents of which had a far bigger impact on a 51 year old man from Hove than, logically, it should have.
And I want to try and explain why.
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Just received a lovely email from
@SkySportsNews
asking me to read a rhyme out about Roberto live tomorrow afternoon as part of
#NationalPoetryDay
.
I'd better get writing! ✍️
#bhafc
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THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY EYE
Oh man. 🥲
In town & spotted this man in a club top so went to say hello. His name is Ron, he’s 90, lost his wife 2 years ago but still loves the club.
He said he looked after gate 18 at the Goldstone for years.
What an absolute gent. 💙
#bhafc
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THE MORNING AFTER
Great to see,
Support being shown,
Solly March,
He’s one of our own. 💙
(We may all be suffering this morning, but it won’t compare to this guy. Extra support on Wed and then of course on Saturday at the Amex. 🙏)
#bhafc
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THIS CANNOT GO ON!!!!
I can hardly type, never mind worrying about the words vaguely rhyming.
We should be incandescent with anger tonight.
Playing poorly and losing is one thing.
Seeing your team cheated out of 3 points by inept officials is another.
#bhafc
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LOOK AT DE ZERBI!!!
WOW - NEVER SEEN HIM THAT PUMPED. SPRINTED OFF THE BENCH AT THE FINAL WHISTLE TO CELEBRATE WITH OUR AWAY SUPPORT!!
BRILLIANT!! 💙
FT 2-3
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UNREAL!!
If I could have been anywhere in the world today I would have chosen the away end at the City Ground, Nottingham, England. 💙
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OLD HEAD, YOUNG SHOULDERS
If we were 18 and had equalised in this situation most of us would be off celebrating.
But not Evan.
Straight over to grab the ball in order to give us the best opportunity to grab a winner.
18! 🇮🇪💚
#bhafc
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@NoContextBrits
"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rung the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way..."
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RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS?
This lovely lady works at the tiny Hove Station cafe as you drive into the car wash.
Over the last 10 days she’s always had a friendly, positive word to say to me and she and I had some great natters as she made me a bacon sarnie.
I’m pretty sure she
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DEAR GRAHAM…
Would be sad to lose you,
Early in September,
No doubt you could do the job,
But just remember,
Brighton has a beach,
The air is cleaner,
And as so many managers have discovered,
The grass ain’t always greener.
#BHAFC
#grahampotter
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ONE YEAR AGO
A year today,
Potter went on his way,
Bruno too,
What to say?
A few weeks into the season,
It felt like treason.
But some things happen,
For a reason.
De Zerbi appointed,
An Italian king anointed,
Gaps in opposition defences,
Suddenly exploited.
We were all so
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“I remember when I was younger heading past the London Stadium on the train with my wife and imagining what it would be like to beat West Ham there whilst playing for Brighton.”
#BHAFC
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TO BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION 💙
To Tony,
To Paul,
To the board,
To countless unsung heroes,
To you…
…TO US!!!! 💙
#BHAFC
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I try not to be,
Too hostile,
But if you support Newcastle or Brighton,
And are in need of a smile…
#bhafc
#NUFC
#NUFCFans
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WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE NEGATIVITY
The guy didn’t put a foot wrong tonight. 👏🏻
FT. 2-1. Get in!
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“I’M BACK”
PEEEEEERRRRVIIISSSSS!
IT’S A WORDLY!!!
3- 0 💙⚽️💙⚽️
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LOYALTY 💙
Great to see and I’m very happy for all
@IpswichTown
supporters.
After your amazing journey it wouldn’t have been right if he hadn’t been at the wheel for your return to the PL.
It’s a great footballing story.
See you next season. 👍🏻
#itfc
We are delighted to announce that Manager Kieran McKenna has signed a new long-term contract at Portman Road.
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20K
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JUST INCREDIBLE! 💙
A big "Molto Bene" from the gaffer! 🇮🇹😄
'Wins, Grins and Limbs' by
@TheBrightonBard
is a poetic look back at the Albion's famous 22/23 season - and £5 from every sale supports our work.
The perfect Xmas gift for a Seagull - get one before they're gone:
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@EmiratesFACup
@premierleague
Chip, chip, chip
Piece by piece
They dismantle tradition
As their palms they grease.
No more lucrative replays
For smaller teams
But more money for the big boys
Or so it seems,
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12.30: Landed Heathrow
14.30: Picked hire car up
15.00: Devil’s Dyke
16.00: Cheeky shandy in Hove before heading to Hampshire.
Lovely to be back in Sussex. 💙
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MADE IN LANCING™
You could really see Dunk’s influence on how England invited the press from Scotland couldn’t you?
Super performance, skipper. 👍🏻💙
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IT’S EMBARRASSING
This isn’t zoomed in by me.
Oh, no.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the image that, in the 21st century, when satellites can photograph your back garden from space, the PGMOL use to make offside decisions from 50m away in the richest league on the planet.
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I haven’t seen his goal yet but, after he worked his a*se off against Newcastle, I am so, so happy for him.
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👀HALF-TIME INTERVIEW 🎤👀
It’s an incredible honour to announce that I’m being interviewed pitch-side by the brilliant Richard Reynolds at half-time tomorrow.
I look forward to sharing experiences on life as a Stateside Seagull.
And I may even share a poem. ☺️
Cheers. 🇺🇸
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Just look at his hug for Mahmoud…
Special club.
Special man.
Special team.
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I see a guy who is settled, buys into the whole ethos of the club and will be with us for many, many years after his playing days are over.
#bhafc
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LANDED AN HOUR EARLY 👍🏻
Britain does lots of things right.
Air conditioning is not one of them!
It’s tropical here at Heathrow. 🥵
Brighton here I come!
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YESTERDAY
Thanks for the kind words about my effort at half-time. It was really nerve-wracking, but think it went OK.
For anyone interested, here is the poem I read. (It is written in a limerick format (1-1-2-2-1).
IT’S FANTASTIC TO BE BACK AT THE AMEX,
TO SUPPORT THE CLUB OF
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I’M OFF 👋🏻💙
Hi, all. After a whirlwind eight day trip promoting the book, I’m due to get the 04.15 train from Brighton tomorrow morning and head back to Tulsa via Heathrow and then Dallas. 🇺🇸
It’s been fun and exhausting in equal measure! Thank you for the positive comments.
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Just managed a couple of hours with club legend, Dick Knight.
Great coffee and chat, as always. Mrs Bard hadn’t met him before so we put that right.
What a man! 💙🤍
#BHAFC
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The more I watch England in the Euros, the more I love Brighton in the Premier League. 🤷🏻♂️💙⚽️
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I’VE MADE A BIG DECISION
Won’t be there on Sunday,
I had a decision to make,
Mothers Day comes but once a year,
So it was a piece of cake,
So if you’re going to watch us play Grimsby,
Enjoy it & have fun,
Brighton play lots of games…
…But I only have 1 mum. ❤️
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Forgive me.
But it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience which I’ll never forget. 💙
[Image credit 📷: PaulHazlewood, Brighton & Hove Albion Football Club.]
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I’M GOING!
Flights were booked,
Ages ago,
But could I get a ticket?
I didn’t know,
It’s almost 4am here,
No point counting sheep,
I’ve got my ticket!!!
No way I’ll sleep. 💙
#BHAFC
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Oh, the Computer,
Just not fair,
Only 24,
A real scare,
We will miss your goals,
We will miss your grin,
Happy you’re in good hands,
And that you’re still plugged in. 🙏💻💙
#bhafc
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@OfficialBHAFC
@EnockMwepu45
Oh, the Computer,
Just not fair,
Only 24,
A real scare,
We will miss your goals,
We will miss your grin,
Happy you’re in good hands,
And that you’re still plugged in. 🙏💻💙
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IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT SCORING
Had a big impact
I have to say
Created space
Through his hold-up play.
Didn’t score
But if you ask me
If this guy ain’t playing
João Pedro don’t get three.
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A GREAT SIGNING
At a time when there’s inevitable speculation about certain players, it’s good to know there are still old-school types like this guy who just want to put a shift in for us.
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MORNING, ALL.
09.45 here in Oklahoma. Must be a special occasion as Mrs Bard is all kitted out, too!
Thanks for all the interactions this season, I honestly have no idea what I’d do without this account. I feel so connected.
Thank you. 🙏
#BHAFC
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IT’S OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY 🥳
Out tonight for dinner to celebrate 4 years of marriage and 8 years since we met.
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ANYONE ELSE FEELING THE SAME?
Top of the league,
Oh, so sweet.
And now this,
My weekend’s complete!
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