Sophie Saint Thomas
@TheBowieCat
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Following
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250
Statuses
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✒️ @Allure_magazine @GQMagazine etc 5x 📚 Finding Your Higher Self, Sex Witch, Glamour Witch, Weed Witch next book on reproductive rights agent @ericsmithrocks
New York City
Joined September 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Have you seen the cover of my book out this October, Reproductive Rites?
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boomers: snowflake
millenials: ok boomer
boomers: this is illegal discrimination
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be kind to the queer goths this weekend they are standing strong in all that black
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Good dick:
- is secure in itself
- understands aftercare
- keeps promises
- fucks your brains out (like literally there should be snot)
- addresses their trauma
- doesn’t belittle yours
- texts back
- isn’t afraid of intimacy even in casual set ups
- can be any gender
- 🤤
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why subtweet when you can walk straight up to an enemy and say "I can out-fuck and out-fight you" we're all animals let's be honest
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Americans: We want gun control
Government: How about we just start rounding up anyone we deem mentally ill instead, in case you weren't terrified enough that we're Nazis
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Listen: If a man describes his exes as "crazy" he is telling you he treated them in a manner so horribly that they reacted, and one day when you learn this side of him you will become the ex of whose mental health he mocks to new women he's fucking.
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The Hitachi Wand is a piece of furniture. You don't have to put it away. We're all adults here. Plus, leaving it out doubles as easy access to a blunt force object should intruders attack you in your own home.
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anyways enjoy the last day of pride next month we begin wrath
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thank you Satan for saving me from heterosexuality
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that warm fuzzy feeling when an ex contacts you wanting to know if you’ve hexed them based on how horribly their life is going
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remember just because you have a uterus doesn’t mean you are under obligation to procreate, it can just be your magic goth organ that pours blood from your pussy once a month
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I have been raped, shot at, and survived my house literally crumbling on top of me during a hurricane(s) and some of you stalker trolls still think that a mean tweet or Instagram comment is going to affect me. I'm here, I'm a good writer, and I'm not going anywhere. Move along.
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Me in 2017: I’m a writer
Me in 2018: I write about health and relationships
Me in 2019: I write about fucking and weed
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the best part about getting verified on Twitter is that I was dressed up as Marilyn Manson from the Dope Show when I got the email
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My official statement on today's polyamory debate after a decade of reporting on this shit: A small (important) amount of people successfully practice polyamory ethically. As it became normalized, unfortunately, many use the term as a pretentious excuse for poor behavior.
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keep your Hitachi wand by your bed for easy access to fall asleep masturbation and also so you have a club to clobber any intruders to death
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and for the zillionth time, feminists who are attracted to dudes LOVE MEN AND WE WANT THE DICK. We want good men to dick us down (consensually) so badly that we pour chunks of our life into trying to teach you to get it right 🙃
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happy pride to all the “best friends” I hooked up with in high school who are married to men now
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as a collective society truly one of the best things we can do to fight toxic masculinity is to allow boys to cry and men to seek mental health treatment so while I’m pretty gay these days going on record that a cishet man with a therapist is HOT
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anything can be abused but sex addiction isn’t real, sex drives vary, high sex drives are normal, being a pervert is rad, sex can be for fun or an expression of love, there’s nothing wrong with you, good night
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I just want to let everyone one here who has been following me since college and slut-shamed me for my early work that I am speaking at fucking MoMa on Saturday guess I can be successful and write about sex 👅 ps sluts have excellent memories
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It's on Amazon so I can finally tell you! I am writing a book on cannabis and self-care with
@simonschuster
and
@adamsmedia
😎 I would like to thank my agent
@ericsmithrocks
of
@PSLiterary
and marijuana. Pre-order it here! It's out in November!
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a non-traditional life is not a failure and never let society tell you otherwise
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I have this, in addition to my ketamine IV treatments, and it's a goddamn miracle drug for those with treatment-resistant depression, PTSD, and/or suicidal thoughts. AMA re: ketamine
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What’s the difference between weed and a boyfriend? No one’s ever died from weed.
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water signs use the 😭 emoji to express love, sadness, horniness, frustration, gratitude, stress, confusion, joy, etc
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A Christian protest group at SXSW was walking through the street holding signs shouting “witches live among us!” and I stared at them with a cigarette in my hand (I’m in Texas) and said deadpan “I am a witch.” They gave the best facial expression reaction I’ve seen in a while.
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If your cannabis legalization plan doesn't include a plan to end mass incarceration and free the hordes of POC in prison for doing what white folks (I include myself in this) are getting paid for, work in the cannabis industry, you DON'T have my vote. The issues are intertwined.
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right now astrologically everyone feels like they have extreme PMS
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This is scientifically incorrect. Feeling a lack of purpose can be a side effect of depression. My purpose is to dispell shame around sex, mental health, and cannabis through writing. I was depressed because I was shot at and groped. Take your harmful mansplaining elsewhere, sir.
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stop apologizing for who you are and make others apologize for their outdated beliefs
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look trust me I know that this world is cruel and evil and fucked up place but I fought with my life to become a happy person and I am never letting anyone take that away from me and neither should you
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Me: I had a good day! My book deal for Sex Witch is official!
Cishet dude Tinder match: YOU REALLY THINK YOU KNOW THAT MUCH MORE ABOUT SEX THAN THE REST OF US HOTSHOT?
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men: wait don’t use your sexuality to get ahead I thought I was going to use that to oppress you
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If you are a couple looking to have an enjoyable threesome with no drama here is the only way to do it: get off Tinder and hire an escort (and treat her with respect)
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Cancer season is for getting fucked so good you either start to cry or blurt out I love you
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do kids these days smoke out of plastic soda bottle with tin foil and shitty weed from an unmarked sandwich bag or are the glory days over
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I just saw a neon sign that read “sushi” and my whole face lit up because I’m hungry and want sushi but it turned out to be a shop for neon signs and not for sushi
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*spoiler alert* That moment in
#SharpObjects
* when the detective tells Camille she's just "drunk and a slut" says so much about male fragility and how men dismiss and refuse to even try to understand women's trauma; I honestly could write a book about that one scene.
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Someone can be a survivor and still be a predator. In fact the cycle of abuse explains this—but it does not excuse. Everyone has a responsibility to take care of their shit so they don’t hurt others.
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me flashing my medical card when someone gets annoyed at the smell of my weed
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I also believe that if bisexuality in men wasn't stigmatized and bisexuality in women wasn't fetishized, there were be far fewer "poly" situations involving the misuse of privilege by cishet men at the emotional (and physical) expense of marginalized genders.
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some advice I can give as a full-time freelancer that seems pertinent today is to be loyal to editors who are good to you, and a good relationship with an editor or writer you like can be more valuable (and reliable) than one with a brand
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oh my god... lesbian sex is so hot...women do this thing with their mouths...it’s so good....where they keep it closed until you’re done finishing your sentence
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Yesterday I gave the most epic eulogy to my grandma! In a big church! In front of tons of people! I think I made her proud!
and then later at the reception a drunk guy told me how beautiful I looked up there and grabbed my ass
this is why we’re mad
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confession I had a matching tattoo with an ex and I didn't know if I should keep it and the pain or remove it which wouldn't remove the pain so today I finally just poured it in sunrays and roses and love and now look how pretty
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shout out to the bisexuals fighting biphobia while also proudly exhibiting every stereotype in the book (issues with monogamy, absurdly horny, fondness for group sex)
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let’s all admit we clean our apartments for one reason and one reason only: in case we get laid
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I am so proud to be a sex writer and it drives me insane when people hate on the job. Have you heard of FOSTA-SESTA, or Mike Pence's views on gay people? These are topics we cover, in addition to trying to normalize sex so no one is filled with shame.
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This is my monthly shout out to all my exes' current partners who online stalk me I understand that may be difficult at times
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In your relationships, of any form, always, always remember: No response is a response. Accept it, even respect it, and carry on towards those who show up.
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“Lucky” by Britney Spears deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for its accurate depiction of depression’s indiscrimination and disregard of someone’s social status
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There are a lot of people from my past popping back up as I get book deals and have a healthy relationship and I just want to say fuck you
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pussy: do it
brain: wait let’s talk about thi-
pussy: bitch I breathe blood you’ll do whatever I say
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I fly to Iceland tonight. I believe I will see the Northern Lights. As a witch, I must masturbate underneath them while in awe of and trusting how loved I am by the universe, right?
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I'd like to thank all my ex-boyfriends for turning me gay
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I saved up for a very long time to pay for my nose job, but I got an American Express travel credit card just for the nose job, charged the whole thing on the card, then paid it off now I have a gazillion points and the question is....where should I go for my nose job vacation??
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I leave my girlfriend alone in New York and she’s having a fucking 4th of July BBQ for her and four cats
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Today at the London train station a male attendant was annoyed at helping me with my suitcase and asked “Don’t you have a boyfriend to do this for you?” so I shouted “I’M GAY!!!!!” (technically I am bisexual but it worked fucker turned red and carried it across the whole station)
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and for my last party trick: how to hide your vape pen when you’re paranoid about bag searches
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I am currently committed to a woman but I just want to remind cis men that wearing makeup is HOT
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remember them as former lovers rather than exes and your life story becomes far more beautiful
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when he gives good dick and is emotionally available
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you lift weights to look hot or beat someone up and anything else is a lie
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I thought I was doomed in relationships but actually was just dating mostly men to win their approval for all the wrong reasons and am actually pretty gay and great at love and other benefits of doing the hard work to find myself 🤷🏻♀️
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travel ✈️ fuck 🤤 write 📚
Women get mostly infertile at 40, but live to be 80.
Without a family, what are you going to do with those 40 long long years?
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In addition to sex, America has major intimacy issues. Intimacy and romantic love are not exclusive to traditional monogamy or marriages. You can enjoy intimacy in casual encounters, and of course, open relationships. No 24/7 exclusivity contract required.
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I want to text this study to every straight male ex of mine who made me feel like an unstable person when I'm actually just a sexual assault survivor with PTSD doing the best I can each damn day and they were lucky to stand in my presence.
For the sake of women's health, we need to take the effects of sexual assault more seriously
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is there any greater feeling than correctly guessing someone’s sign on the first take after they finish their speech on how Astrology is fake
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I spoke with sexual assault survivors about how cannabis helps their PTSD. This is one of those articles that I always wish men would read, please read! Thank you to everyone who spoke with me.
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I just saw CBD pasta in my bodega as one of High Time’s 100 Women in High Places my official statement is enough of this hemp cbd pasta just fucking legalize marijuana thank you
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we'd all fuck Pete Davidson just shut up and admit it
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my therapist and I have a plan in place for when we attend the same niche sex events
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I’m delighted to announce my second book, SEX WITCH, with
@WeiserBooks
is out Fall 2020. I combine a decade of sex and relationship reporting with ancient occult knowledge to bring you a spell book of your wet dreams and nightmares. Thanks to my agent
@ericsmithrocks
⚡️
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He’s worth $40 million and she’s a PhD student my hot take is get it girl 🥳
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lord give me the self esteem of a man who thinks women are out to steal his semen so they can sneakily have his children
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I matched with a girl on Tinder. We were chatting along when she threw out a casual “we’d love to smoke up with you” and turns out she is actually a couple profile looking for a unicorn. Not disclosing such information upfront is a crime against bisexuals and should be illegal!
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If more boys were allowed to be bi we'd have more dope queer poly families rather than the "one dick rule" bullshit where it's a "poly family" with one cishet dude and a bunch of chicks who are allowed to only fuck him/other chicks. I see this constantly.
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my girlfriend is Manic Panic-ing my hair while I write about how to clean sex toys so I suppose I'm happy and doing well
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It is true. Marijuana is a goddess. We are all her unwitting servants spreading her message so she may reproduce as much as possible.
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who needs perfume when you smell like weed and pussy
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Listen to me closely:
In relationships, watch actions, not words. People say anything after they orgasm. However, how someone acts in a crisis, or when you truly need them, and sex is the last thing on your mind, shows you everything.
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I finished my manuscript and was going to print it out and take a pretentious photo to post but then I ran out of paper and then I ran out of ink so I was just like fuck you printer I wrote a book
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In Northern California they make you wake up at 7 AM to consume CBD and do yoga I am not kidding I believe it is the law
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if you haven’t already converted: now is the time for women to stop caring if men like you or find you well-behaved
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two boys were pointing and laughing at me for taking selfies, so I stopped, stood straight like a killer, and made unblinkingly “escaped from a mental hospital” eye contact until they literally ran away
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the models are smoking weed on the runway and the fashion week after party is at a sex club this is New York
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Once I got into a massive fight with an ex-boyfriend because he said I wasn’t allowed to use the word “artist” to describe myself well bitch WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
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