Sarah Ockwell-Smith
@TheBabyExpert
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Author of 15 non-fiction books & mother of 4 young adults📚New book ‘How to Raise a Teen’ out now - link to buy ⬇️
England, UK
Joined December 2010
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22 years of parenting
19 years of working with parents
12 years of writing books
1 year of researching and writing
...and today 'How to Raise a Teen' is finally published!
#gentleparenting
#raisingteens
#parenting
#teenagers
#newbook
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@serenawilliams
Then there was the time I was interviewed by the police on suspicion of being a drug dealer, because my six year old had taken some homeopathic white powder ‘wraps’ to school & given to his friends. When asked what they were he said “people come to our house & buy them”
#thismama
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@serenawilliams
One of my sons used to ‘paint’ with his own poo. He would wake from a nap, totally silent, remove his diaper & finger paint all over his toys and cover the wheels of his toy cars in poo, then make poo tracks all over his cream walls. Be thankful for a little vomit 😉
#thismama
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My children will be catching up on LIFE this summer. There is no way in hell they are going to any catch up summer school.
#education
#edutwitter
#parenting
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@shondarhimes
They need to stop the female labelling full stop. Nobody calls male actors “smart strong men” or praises their “strong male lead”....Their sex is seemingly unimportant. So it should be for women too!
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@jadeys1986
@BishopChalloner
This is ridiculous! Her hair looks perfect for school; neat & held back out of her face/safe for PE & natural colour. I would complain to the board of governors and consider escalating to
@Ofstednews
and
@educationgovuk
if they are also problematic. Also
@GillianKeegan
& local MP
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Current school behaviour approaches are failing children. They punish them for having problems, while doing little to help them solve them.
It's time we stopped firefighting with ridiculous, childist carrots/sticks approaches
#education
#educationmatters
#edutwitter
#childism
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@bexhc73
@BorisJohnson
@GavinWilliamson
@ucas_online
Exactly. No celebration, no closure, no chance to prove what they could do, no idea what will happen with their uni choices. This also being the 2001/2002 cohort who were guinea pigs for the new 1-9 GCSE grading & syllabus. They have been royally screwed over
#alevels2020
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We are facing huge school behaviour/attendance issues.
Parents blame teachers, teachers blame parents - while they play this back & forth blame game everyone misses the *real* problem
The problem is systemic
Our education system is not fit for purpose
#education
#edutwitter
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@DrAmirKhanGP
My son is a fresher. He’s been out once with his bubble of flat mates, on his first night. The rest of the time he has been sat in his 6 x 9 room, stuck in front of his PC screen. I’m so sick of the negative way the media paints students, based on a tiny irresponsible minority 😡
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@PaulEOC
Like eating chocolate covered shampoo. I don’t understand why anybody would voluntarily eat it? 🤷🏻♀️
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@RishiSunak
You are means testing the self employed, but not the employed, while the cap of help we can claim is far les than the £2500 for the employed. Plus, if we have savings to pay our tax bill that will mean we are not eligible for UC! You have totally screwed over the self employed!
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@piersmorgan
Please stop using the outdated, racist word papoose (see:
). The correct terminology is a baby carrier (or sling if it is a non-structured carrier).
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1/9
“Children are spoilt rotten, how can they possibility be discriminated against?”
“Childism isn't real. Children aren't oppressed!”
🧵A thread…
#gentleparenting
#childism
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@davidwalliams
@BGT
He is a wonderful wonderful man and I’m so happy for him, but I can’t help feeling a little gutted that talent & hard work didn’t win out over sentimentality.
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For the women who were the girls who were always too quiet, or too loud…
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@serenawilliams
The same son also got his head stuck in a cat flap when he was two. It took two hours for my locksmith husband to free him. All the while he kept saying “I stuck mama, I stuck!”. You have so much joy to come 😂
#thismama
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Can you teach a baby to ‘self soothe/settle’ using
#sleeptraining
? No more than you can teach them to ride a bike by leaving them to cry 🤷🏻♀️does it work? Yes, if your only measure is making them quiet at night...they don’t sleep more, they just don’t wake their parents!
#babysleep
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It’s about time we started listening to kids, instead of presuming we know how they feel.....
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@MartinSLewis
@thismorning
I volunteer for Citizens Advice. It’s great you recommend people to contact us, but we’re nearly out of tools too and there are SO many people who need help 😢
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This is a really helpful thing to point out to children right now…
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@serenawilliams
@OlympiaOhanian
This is the normal - positive - response of a securely attached child. Try to see it as an indicator of her attachment to you and the hard work you put into forging a close bond. It won’t last forever, but is a good predictor of her being confident & independent in the future.
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This is the crux of so many problems, worries & difficulties parents & educators face today.
If everyone in society was truly educated about child development, (physical & psychological) EVERYTHING would be different.
Do you agree?
#education
#parenting
#earlyyears
#childism
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Would have been fab if the
#trustmeimadoctor
team had read my Gentle Sleep Book, rather than just featuring it in the front of their set shot. If they had, they maybe wouldn’t have spread factual inaccuracies about the ‘danger’ of cosleeping or the myth of teaching self soothing.
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My yr.11 son has just told me he’s learning about Nestle ethics and the
#nestleboycott
in GCSE geography. Is this a nationwide curriculum thing now? Or just his (clearly amazing) teacher’s idea?
@babymilkaction
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@Rachel_deSouza
We are failing to:
1. Provide adequate CAMHS services
2. Fund SEND diagnoses/support services
3. Lift families out of poverty
4. Pay teaching staff adequately
5. Provide an holistic curriculum
It’s time to stop firefighting and look at the CAUSES of the fires to prevent them
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@joannagtweets
Any news stories need to focus on how much students have been let down and what they have lived through over the last 4 years, not UCU & the lecturers (which is what they have done until now).
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@susannareid100
Truth be told, pretty sure Piers doesn’t have an issue with it either. He just pretends to have controversial opinions so that he stays in the press/gets social shares 😉 - kind of like the male equivalent of Katie Hopkins. I reckon he’s a pussy cat really.
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My Grandmother celebrated her 100th birthday last week, without any of her family with her in her care home 😢 - she looked like she had a lovely day though and loved her card from The Queen.
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@serenawilliams
Why not be led by your baby? Letting them take the lead means you’ll always know that it ended at the right time for them:
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Oh my
@thismorning
you are kidding me! Why couldn’t you get a proper breastfeeding specialist for your
#breastfeeding
segment? You needed an IBCLC or qualified counsellor who uses CURRENT EVIDENCE - not blatantly ignore it and go directly against NHS/WHO &
@babyfriendly
advice!
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When children behave ‘badly’ it’s often because they’re feeling bad.....often the simple solution is to reconnect and make them feel better 🥰 (totally the opposite to most discipline advice; which encourages making them feel worse by ignoring, excluding or punishing them 🤷🏻♀️)
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@BBCNews
What our kids actually need: hugs with relatives, face-to-face play with friends, sports, live music, live theatre, family holidays, days at the beach, screen free time, parents not constantly stressed trying to balance budget/work/schooling. They need a BREAK not summer school!
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I chose to send my children to a school in ‘special measures’. It felt calm, relaxed, happy and nurturing. I much preferred it then than when it became an OFSTED ‘good’ school. A child’s happiness and mental health is more important than any official score!
73% of parents would prefer to send their child to a school where children are generally happy, although previous exam results have not been good.
Do you agree?
#TellOfsted
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Want to know the simplest way to raise a kind and respectful child?
Be kind and respectful towards them!
#parentsday
#parenting
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@bmstores
why have these been labelled as for boys in your stores? Especially when the product packaging itself isn’t stereotyped? can girls not wear them because they’re not pink or covered in unicorns?
#letmasksbemasks
@letclothesbe
@LetToysBeToys
#genderstereotyping
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Of all the things I could advocate for that would bring me hate, I’m always a little shocked that the subject that triggers people the most is the idea of treating children kindly 🤷🏻♀️
THIS is why we need to make sure the next generation has more empathy & less damage!
#childism
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Why hasn’t this been reported as “responding to your baby immediately does NOT make them more clingy as they grow!” - because that’s what the results found...instead our detachment obsessed society focuses on trying to prove it’s ok to leave babies to cry!
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Can we talk about how extraordinarily stressful it is to be trying to support older children with virtual schooling (which is not a good way for them to learn) *and* be working at home full time? Everything I see re the stress of
#parenting
#lockdown
#school
is about young kids!
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Did you know that there is a word, coined in 1973 by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael, to describe the huge physiological and psychological transition that women make when they become mothers?
That word is 'Matrescence'.
#matrescence
#newmum
#newmom
#newborn
#parenting
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This. My teenage son would love to train as a nurse. We have had to talk him out of it. Not because it isn’t a skilled and noble profession, but because we know he will enter a life of poverty if he does.
Let's get this straight, nurses have not "walked away", they have been forced by the Government to leave a profession they love by a 14% real terms pay cut, an inability to feed themselves and their families and the scrapping of bursaries which means they qualify £50,000 in debt.
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This. 90% of ‘good parenting’ is about regulating and trying to change your own behaviour - NOT about trying to change your child!
#Parents
#parenting
#discipline
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Why I've fallen out of love with the idea of 'self-care' - and believe we do tired, stressed parents a disservice when we recommend it every time they are struggling: 1/7
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Scientists claim lying down with your kids until they fall asleep is GOOD for them and can reduce mental health problems later in life
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Anybody else think it was entirely irresponsible of
@BorisJohnson
&
@GavinWilliamson
to announce cancellation of exams *without* detailing exactly what will happen? Particularly with
@ucas_online
- so much anxiety/teens left completely in the dark about their futures
#alevels2020
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Scientists claim lying down with your kids until they fall asleep is GOOD for them and can reduce mental health problems later in life
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9/9
“Because I Said So - Why Society is childist and how breaking the cycle of discrimination towards children can change the world” is a blueprint for how we ALL can have a positive impact on the future of our society.
Learn more:
#childism
#childcare
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@jmcwida
@serenawilliams
That’s an urban myth. Once established, breastfeeding works on supply and demand. No enlargement so no shrinking. There’s no such thing as “full of milk” at that point.
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Anyone else wondering why
#georgeclooney
agreed to advertise Nespresso, given that he’s married to a human rights lawyer? 🤷🏻♀️
#nestleboycott
#boycottnestle
#HumanRights
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Night feeding, well into the toddler years, is the norm, not the exception.
📷
@postpartumsmiles
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@piersmorgan
...but resilience is not something taught; rather it develops naturally when a child grows in a nurturing & supportive environment with carers mindful of mental health. An authoritarian upbringing focusing on ‘mental strength’ (aka “don’t cry”) damages resilience & mental health.
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Is there such a thing as a retreat for exhausted menopausal mums of teenagers? I don’t want to do yoga, or have nutrition talks - I just want to sleep and do absolutely nothing (except maybe a massage or two) for a couple of days 🤷🏻♀️
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Mothers have been the backbone of our society this past year. They have been carers, chefs, cleaners, teachers, therapists, organisers, providers & more, all while holding down jobs & managing their own fears, stress & anxieties. Mothers are heroes.
#mothersday
#MothersDay2021
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I don’t like football and I don’t watch Love Island. Feeling like a Twitter outcast.....anyone else?
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Here’s to the mothers in our life; those who raised us, those not in our lives anymore, those who are busy mothering in a society that doesn’t properly support or value mothers, those who are mothers of the future and those who carry children in their hearts & not in their arms.
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Seriously, I wish more people understood this. I think having a good moan can be incredibly useful to help you stay on your chosen parenting path, don’t you?
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For those disagreeing with the
#smackingban
saying ‘children need to be discipline’ - it is totally possible to discipline gently, without causing fear or pain! (From my Gentle Discipline Book):
#smacking
#discipline
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Don't Try to Teach Your Baby to 'Self Settle' to Sleep!
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I thought this was fitting for Valentine’s Day. Love is not weakness, it is strength....never be afraid of meeting your child’s needs with it!
💕💕💕💕💪💪💪💪
#parenting
#Parents_Worship_Day
#ValentinesDay2022
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Where did society go so wrong that we now think it's bad to respond to our babies too much? .
What happened to make us think that holding and cuddling babies is a bad habit? What made us believe tiny helpless infants need to become independent before the…
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@LittleHardman
Don’t believe everything you read/see about gentle parenting online. It’s morphed into something very far from the original meaning. Of course you can’t validate every emotion and you don’t need to be perma-calm either.
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@MartinSLewis
I would happily sacrifice an extra £860 p/a if they properly funded our schools and NHS 🙁
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A thread 🧵
1/10
Many adults are obsessed with the idea that children should be obedient and that the "lack of discipline" they see in children and young families today is the cause of ALL problems with the world.
#childism
#parenting
#gentleparenting
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I really hate when stay at home mothers apologetically reply “oh, I’m just a mum” when asked what their job is. How can any job in the world be more important than raising the next generation? .
.
.
#motherhood
#mothering
#mothersmatter
#stayathomemom
#s
…
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Have you ever considered the dichotomy between our hopes for our children in the future & how we want them to behave today?
Good
#parenting
isn’t trying to change children, but changing our expectations of them & guiding them so they can achieve their best today & in the future!
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@MartinSLewis
Rewarding ‘good’ behaviour has been repeatedly shown to decrease the likelihood of that behaviour being repeated naturally. Rewards make behaviour worse. You create an ‘if, then’ child (“if I do it then what will I get?”) and the reasons behind the ‘bad’ behaviour are missed.
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This is really problematic “A wonderful thing to do out of respect for others” misses that 2 people were disrespected here - the mother & baby. Why should they feel like a burden? Why should they have to spend so much? Why can’t we be more supportive of children in public spaces?
During a 10-hour flight, she was heading from Seoul, Korea, to San Francisco, USA.
This mother distributed more than 200 passengers on the plane a plastic bag to each one. The bag contained candy, chewing gum and earplugs as a kind of advance apology for use in the event that
2K
5K
63K
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This is disgusting. 16 & 18 yr olds have been so negatively impacted by Covid & the farce that is A level & GCSE results. I really hope universities/colleges ignore them & use other ways to award places.
#alevels2020
#alevelresults
#gcses2020
#gcseresults
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Talk to your children about race &
#whiteprivilege
/ it’s never too early, there are many wonderful children’s books to utilise, from toddlerhood. This generation must be the one to make the change. We can be better & we must raise better
#BlackLivesMatter
(image credit unknown)
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@jameelajamil
It’s not just parents....sadly it’s common in schools too, spreading diet misinformation and perpetuating disordered eating 😥
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If we had realistic expectations of infant sleep, I really believe that things would be easier. We would create a society to support new parents - in short, society would change, rather than expecting all the changing to be done by the children.
#Parents
#parenting
#babysleep
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@intersexfacts
I had ‘puberty blockers’ as a child (for precocious puberty), they are categorically not risk free either. There is also very little long term safety data. I think for some they are very important, but I’m concerned that they are seen as the answer for all by so many.
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For those of you who ‘do’ Santa. This is so important this year with so many families struggling with the cost of living.
#santa
#Christmas
#parenting
#parents
#CostOfLivingCrises
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People do this?! 🤷🏻♀️
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The singularly most stupid and most toxic questionnew parents are asked. (read more on why it’s so stupid and damaging here: )
#babysussex
#royalbaby
#royalbabyname
#HarryandMeghan
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40
This. Compliant & obedient children seem great in theory, but all those years of obeying, not being allowed to ‘answer back’ to get their point across - eventually being too scared to confide in you, for fear of reprimand, does not make for an emotionally healthy adult 😥
#nfyt
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“Isn’t it time to wonder why we are fine with pets in bed but freak out when someone has their child in bed with them? Can we talk about the huge money the industry that encourages parents...
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We need to de-normalise sharing videos of dysregulated children on social media.
We may think videos of upset, shocked, scared & confused children are funny - but they’re not.
It’s also not
#gentleparenting
to show instructional videos with distressed children 😢
#childism
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Back to school photos can pose real risks to children🧵
* Uniforms with badges make it easy to find your child
* Even with no badge, some uniforms are distinctive - e.g tie patterns
* Attempts to cover badges with stickers/scribbles can be easily removed
#backtoschool
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Love this! Why punishment that shames, scares and belittles children is such an ineffective form of
#discipline
#parenting
#gentleparenting
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@jameelajamil
Take an anti histamine immediately and then paracetamol/diarrhoea tablets when the cramps start. Then usually try to sleep it off. Gel for the mouth ulcers if they appear the next day too.
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Mothering today is all about doing, but really it should be about being. The trouble is we have so many things we are meant to be today....and so very much to do.....no wonder it’s so hard. 😥
#mothering
#motherhood
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To all of the powerful women out there, those supporting them, those raising them and those raising those who will support them:
#InternationalWomensDay
#InternationalWomensDay2020
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There is 1 simple thing all adults can do to help with ALL childcare related worries & woes (inc baby sleep, toddler tantrums, picky eating, tween attitude & teen defiance).
What is it?
Realistic expectations of the child’s physiological & psychological abilities!
#parenting
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Can we shout this message loudly? Aiming to raise your children following a gentle/respectful parenting style absolutely does NOT mean you have to be calm, gentle and respectful all the time, because that is completely impossible.
#gentleparenting
- thread 🧵
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