Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me Profile
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me

@TedHeller

Followers
549
Following
3K
Statuses
12K

Author of Funnymen, Pocket Kings, Slab Rat, & other books you most likely haven't read. I'm on Mastodon, too...I think.

NYC, NY
Joined March 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
2 days
@atrupar @HeatherThomasAF JUSTICE IS JUST SO WRONG!!
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
3 days
@chrissteinplays
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
3 days
@FrankConniff MASH?
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
3 days
@Baddiel Duane Allman.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
4 days
"Ladies and gentlemen, we ask that you please rise and take off your hats as President Trump conducts the Fox Symphony Orchestra and Kanye West 'sings' the Horst Wessel Song. Thank you."
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
4 days
@cooltxchick @WUTangKids From right outta Gunther Eagleman's butthole??
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
5 days
@smod4real This is one tight...vote.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
@kanyewest You dumb.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
@elonmusk @realDonaldTrump Valentine's Day is coming up.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
@JoJoFromJerz @atrupar It's Zinke oxide.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
@JoJoFromJerz Hey, Mom, does a great job!
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
Full disclosure: The DJ refused to accept the job.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
6 days
@MissDaphne Is "Now" on Tinder because...
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
7 days
@PaulRudnickNY Flip This Ghetto
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
8 days
@jemelehill But I bought 3 millions dollars worth!
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
8 days
@jimstewartson "Lout of Africa"
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
8 days
Glengaza Glen Ross?
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
8 days
@chrissteinplays I turned in 89 cents in pennies in 1964 and HAVE SEEN ZERO RETURN.
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@TedHeller
Ted Heller 🇺🇦 Not going back...unless you pay me
@TedHeller
9 days
@SenBillCassidy Hippocrates is throwing up and turning over in his urn.
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