Marty Lawrence
@TeaAndCopy
Followers
11K
Following
23K
Statuses
61K
Associate Creative Director, @thatlot.
Joined May 2009
Hearing “could the onboard supervisor please contact the driver” halfway through your commute
0
0
1
The Seer introduction took away the jeopardy and that gob-smacking moment every Traitors series finale has had so far. It made it so predictable and was completely unnecessary. Sack it off for next year, lads #TheTraitorsUK
1
3
33
I placed £1,000 on a horse but lost it all. It's really windy out there.
0
2
3
apparently Holly & Phil skipped the Bonnie Blue queue and went right to the front - absolute disgrace
0
1
5
ah i feel so stupid i've been carrying my liquids in open plastic bags all my life - thanks science girl
0
0
4
Happy 'Copy and Paste Your Response Every Time Someone Asks How Your Christmas Break Was' Day to all those who celebrate.
0
0
1
My New Year’s resolution is to stop attaching so much importance to whether strangers on the internet like my jokes or not. Please like and repost. Please
0
1
3
ME: for new year's, I'm giving up FRIEND: giving up what? ME: I don't understand
0
0
1
KIDS YESTERDAY: Only one more sleep until Christmas! PARENTS TODAY: Only one more Christmas until sleep!
0
0
3
Just been tracking Santa with the kids. Reckon I’ll get a clear shot when he emerges from this next house.
1
2
6
if anyone needs someone to come to their front door and scoff the cookie and neck the whiskey their kids have left out tomorrow night just let me know (willing to travel)
0
0
0
RT @JoshPughComic: Liking what I’m seeing from Santa in the build up to the 24th, seems hungry, seems focussed. Making all the right noises…
0
255
0
Cream-coloured ponies Crisp apple strudels Doorbells Sleigh bells Schnitzel with noodles Pint of milk Loaf of bread Dishwasher tablets
0
0
5
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm telling you why. Because I’m incapable of dealing with emotional people so please don’t get upset oh no are those tears oh god are you ok can someone help me please I don’t know what to do
0
0
1
‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ is my favourite Christmas song about a woman held captive and being plied with alcohol against her will
2
0
1