tanmoy das lala 🏳️🌈
@TanmoyDasLala
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MD-PhD student @TriIMDPhD in New York City. He/him.
Manhattan, New York
Joined December 2011
After my 🫀 tweet this AM, I've received NONSTOP DM's/ mockery of "pronouns in the bio." Guess what? It's gonna stay, and I have worn my HE/HIM pronoun pin from day 1 of #medschool and if it makes even ONE person feel validated, it's worth it. Tuning out the noise 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️✊
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Drowning out the #pronoun mockery + vilifying #Fauci by saying from DAY ONE of #medschool I have worn my HE/HIM pronoun pin, and yes a #trans youth DID point to it in the ER and said "I finally feel seen" and I have ZERO tolerance for cis privileged mockery of pronouns. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️✊
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vulnerability moment: after a previous tweet, I felt encouraged to reach out to my parents to wish #HappyHolidays2022 and "i miss you. I'd love to see you again." but, silence. more silence. nearly 13 yrs since I've seen them last after coming out 🏳️🌈 but i'll keep trying. ♥️.
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vulnerability moment: the week before #thanksgiving, I got a letter from my parents saying what a “disgrace” that I’m 🏳️🌈 & “never want to meet ANY man in your life.” This was 12 yrs ago, and silence since. This year I’m grateful for my #twitter chosen fam. Y’all are AWESOME🏳️🌈✊🏾.
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Being called a F*GGOT to my face on the #subway, to receiving images of 🏳️🌈 flag swastikas and "go get AIDS and die" messages in my DMs, it's been an unsettling few days. But I'm tuning out the noise and staring at this image of my hubby and I and my ❤️ is welling up with love.
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On my #subway ride a Black high schooler noticed my 🩺 and asked "are you a doctor?" Not yet, but studying to be one, I said. She wants to be a #pediatrician, but NO ONE in her family has even finished high school. So I gave her my email, and her smile was priceless.
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vulnerability moment: yesterday, I spoke to my father on the phone for the FIRST time in nearly 13 years after my coming out 🏳️🌈. I choked up hearing his voice--a mix of discomfort, pretense, yet relief. It was brief, but I'm going to hold on to EVERY SECOND. 🥲🏳️🌈✊.
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vulnerability moment: after coming out 🏳️🌈, I haven't seen my parents in nearly *13 YEARS.* But I JUST BOOKED A TRIP TO GO SEE THEM in the Spring and try to reconnect!!!! No responses via messages, though. But I want to find closure in knowing that at least I TRIED my best. 🙄.
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DON'T DM me to say that 2 🏳️🌈 MEN CAN'T BE PARENTS or "every child must have a mother and father" scorning on my husband @ekutscher and my #fertilityjourney. There are plenty of kids with #samesex parents doing JUST fine, getting all the love beyond the parameters of bigotry✊
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A homeless person at my #subway stop was visibly shivering. I gave him my jacket. Past me would've made excuses. Today I didn't even think twice.
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY @ekutscher!!! My parents may never acknowledge our #marriage, but others' ♥️ lift us up. Thank you for being awesome, teaching me to be a better doctor, inspiring me to fight for #socialjustice, and ALWAYS making me smile. I love you. 🏳️🌈✊ #NYC #GayMarriage
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Every time I tweet about my hubby @ekutscher or something 🏳️🌈 or #immigration related, the #homophobes and trolls get hot under the collar and send me ridiculous DMs. But I look at these photos and instantly smile, tune out the noise, and focus on the road ahead. #LGBTQ #NYC
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Nearly 6 years ago, today, I quit my corporate finance job and started an MD-PhD. Vowed to be #out about being gay, & create a welcoming space for all. My parents and I were estranged at the time, and coworkers laughed at this career transition but WOW I ❤️ this journey 🏳️🌈✊🏾
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An impossible # of #homophobic and #xenophobic comments today including "get out of this country sand n**ga" (that's a THING?!), "rotten f*g blood" so I'm staring at this pic with my hubby @ekutscher, smiling through a wave of memories, and trying to drown out the noise. 🏳️🌈✊
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For those who *still* believe being gay is a "lifestyle choice" why do you think we'd do this to ourselves at the cost of family? friends?.
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Walked around the hospital today & saw familiar faces, fellow #medstudents, #holiday decorations and had a BIG 🙂 on my face. When I was at my old finance job, people LAUGHED when I said I was going to be a doctor. I'm PROUD of where I am today, w/ my hub's support. 🏳️🌈❤️
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vulnerability moment: my father responded to my "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" message. It's a complex mix of anxiety and relief to hear from him after 13 years of silence after my coming out 🏳️🌈. In my emotional state, I also just donated to an #LGBTQ youth organization ha 🏳️🌈✊.
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Today’s been a particularly awful day with comments. Skin color, appearance, “unfit to be doctor” “second class citizen” the perpetual AIDS comments. Elon’s Twitter is awful. But it’s #Pride and I’m trying to dial the noise (and block) & just staring at this photo of my hubby. 🏳️🌈
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Nothing prepares you for the emotional pang of getting married without your parents’ knowledge, because you were instructed to NEVER talk about ANY man in your life…but here we are 7 years later, loving on. 🏳️🌈♥️✊🏾. #anniversary #NYC
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Despite not seeing parents in 12 years, called a "disgrace" and an attending physician 👩⚕️ who said to me last year "keep your gay business to yourself" life as a 🏳️🌈 physician-in-training in #NYC has been AMAZING, making me determined to ✊ for #LGBTQ health. #ComingOutDay2022
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My husband @ekutscher and I are officially starting the fertility/surrogacy journey and we’re nervous and excited at the same time! Feel free to share any advice/things we should know. #LGBTQ #queer
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In 24 hrs, I've been called a "kiddie diddler" "f*g molester" "fake procreator" and asked to leave "Christians and Kids ALONE" for tweeting about DeSantis' awful anti-#LGBTQ bills. So, I'm staring at this pic of my hubby and I and trying to mute the noise. Onward 🏳️🌈❤️
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Tweeted abt #McCarthy spectacle & becoming a naturalized 🇺🇸citizen last yr, so now the comments have shifted to NATURALIZED CITIZENS ARE NOT "REAL" CITIZENS. As a 🏳️🌈physician-in-training ✊for equitable health, I am just as much as a contributor to this idea called America
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all day, my mind has been replaying a montage of childhood #Christmas memories. the meals, the laughs, the songs, the cheer. then, after my coming out 🏳️🌈 nearly 13 yrs ago, the unanswered calls, unread messages, returned presents. But your words and ❤️ have been SO COMFORTING.
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Growing up, I was told not to act "too feminine." Phone calls with other boys were monitored in case I gave "any signs." Being 🏳️🌈 was illegal. Today, my husband is by my side in my same childhood city. My closeted teenage self couldn't even fathom this day. ✊❤️ #LGBTQ
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This AM, a woman stopped me outside the #hospital. "You speak Bengali?" Yes, I do. "Can you show me the doctor's office?" I give her instructions. She seems anxious. "Do you mind coming to the appointment? I'm alone & very nervous." Yes, & every minute was worth it.
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vulnerability moment: I'm nervous but the wheels ARE turning y'all. I'LL BE SEEING MY DAD IN APRIL 🥲!! Face-to-face after a decade since coming out 🏳️🌈 in a letter, as I didn't have the courage to say it in person. I worry I'm going to completely fall apart giving him a hug ❤️.
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Vulnerability moment: in the thick of #holiday season, I miss my parents. Nearly 13 years since we last spoke after I came out to them as 🏳️🌈. 😢.
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Someone overdosed by my #subway stop. I gave #narcan and he ultimately survived. My husband is an #addiction doctor and we talk about stigma, drug policy all the time. I thought of him, saw the guy on the floor, & rushed to help. So here's my little #Twitter THANK YOU, my ❤️.
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2023 has been emotional. I saw my estranged parents after 13 years of coming out 🌈 but the bonds broke away (again), we had a miscarriage, I got numerous 🏳️🌈 swastikas in my physical mail, got called F*GGOT in the subway many times. But our love has always set me free.
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Today, I saw my father after *13* years since coming out 🏳️🌈. I teared up. And I hugged the longest I ever have. He EVEN acknowledged the presence of my partner--an evolution since that letter about "absolute disgrace" "we don't want to hear about ANY man in your life." 🏳️🌈❤️.
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Entertained by the #McCarthy @GOP spectacle and am SO PROUD that this 🏳️🌈 #immigrant med student became a naturalized 🇺🇸 citizen last Fall and registered and voted as a DEMOCRAT. 🏳️🌈✊🏾#NYC
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I never thought I could #love my parents again after 13 years of estrangement after coming out 🏳️🌈, but I can feel the boundaries slowly drifting, the anger gradually dissolving, as we prepare to meet again in April. #ValentinesDay.
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👋 lovely folks new to my page, I'm a 🏳️🌈 MD-PhD student in #NYC who studies 🫀 disease, and here to ✊ for the advancement of #LGBTQ health and health equity. I believe in creating #affirming and VALIDATING spaces for our most MARGINALIZED, because #medicine is >>> "biology."
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#MerryChristmas Twitter #fam. Everyday, you give me hope, kindness and ❤️, allowing me to live authentically as a 🏳️🌈 #immigrant in #NYC. Thank you for being AWESOME.
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Opening up about this stuff has felt so, so liberating. Truly.
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Been called F*GGOT, "kiddie diddler", "AIDS sand n**ger" "pedophile pediatrician" (!) for calling out DeSantis' anti-#LGBTQ policies. But #PrideMonth2023 for me will be a time to focus on the positives, mute the troll noise, and celebrate w/ my hubby our ❤️🏳️🌈. #JoinInTheLove ✊
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🏳️🌈Tweeted about #samesex marriage, @SCOTUS and my husband this AM, and the trolls have BARRAGED my DMs with #homophobic slurs, but I look at pictures of us together, committed to lives in #medicine, helping the vulnerable, and I smile and the vitriol fades away 🏳️🌈✊
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👋 I study 🫀disease and heart rhythm disorders. Do NOT CONFLATE #DamarHamlin's trauma-induced cardiac arrest (at a specific heart rhythm phase called "T wave upstroke") with anti-vaxx BULLSHIT. #CPR is LIFESAVING as much as #vaccines are. Wishing him a speedy recovery.
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Checked comments to tweets about being an immigrant, 🏳️🌈 medical trainee and there are some AWFUL comments about my skin color, "you played the #gay card to get into med school" "i would rather die than be treated by you, don't f*cking touch me." Posting this to drown the noise.
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As a 🏳️🌈 #immigrant in #NYC, the migrant surge has been HEAVILY on my mind. So, yesterday, I wrapped and distributed gifts donated by APAG for the migrant kids at 1 of our Asylum Navigation Centers. The smiles were priceless. So much ♥️ this #holiday season (pardon my expression).
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vulnerability moment: I'm *TIRED* of conservative family members referring to my husband as "FRIEND", "ROOMMATE". We've been together nearly 10 YEARS. THIS IS NOT A PHASE!!!! It also sucks that many #LGBTQ HAVE to use similar impersonal descriptors to introduce partners. 🙁🏳️🌈✊.
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the issue of pronouns may appear surface level to some, but there is depth to it. personhood. identity. respect it. and those who are bothered by it, ask yourself about your dire insecurities.
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To my parents, if you see this, this is what I look like now (with my sister by my side), and I'm even training to be a Doctor. 🥲❤️
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this week, I’ve received too many DMs/emails about “your parents did the right thing by not supporting your perverted lifestyle choice” a nod to our estrangement after coming out 🏳️🌈. THIS kinda shit is why I will STAY vocal ✊🏾and focus on a positive image with my hubby to smile.
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👋🏼 lovely folks newly following my page. I’m a 🏳️🌈 #immigrant MD-PhD student in #NYC, pivoted from a career in finance. I’m passionate about #LGBT stuff, 🫀 disease, #immigrant health, harm reduction drug policy, and #antiracist practice of medicine. 🙏🏽 to my #twitter fam. Say hi!
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TODAY, something shifted. My mother asked about my husband!! . As someone who felt "disgraced" after my coming out 🏳️🌈, refused to acknowledge any man in my life, or even see me at the beginning of this trip after 13 years, reached out to reconnect, on my last day here. 🥲❤️.
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It was my hubby AND father-in-law's 🎈 day over the weekend. While my parents have struggled over a decade to grapple w/ my being 🏳️🌈, this man has never thought twice to take me in as his own. Estrangement is weird, but in ways here and there, I feel the ❤️ i crave.
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He hinted that my mother may not be "cool with it yet" but i guess i'll take 1 parent over none.
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As a kid, I was bullied *everyday* for being "too feminine", mocked for my "high-pitched" voice. My parents turned to a palm reader to "fix me", listened to calls "just in case.". Sometimes, it hits me how LUCKY I am to be out 🏳️🌈, and to live everyday, with my hubby by my side.
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I used to be told "you're too old to start now" "not good enough" "not smart enough." But I decided to transition careers from financial services industry to #medicine, to advance 🏳️🌈 health, 🫀 disease and advocate for the underserved. Starting year 5, STRONGER THAN EVER ✊
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after #homophobic DMs, the trolls have upped their anti-#immigrant sentiment 🤣 Of note: "you stole a US med school spot" and "you're *browning* this country." Well, this new 🇺🇸 🏳️🌈 citizen isn't going *anywhere*, here to serve your #healthcare needs, and ✊ for #LGBTQ rights
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was searching through my closet for something and found the letter from 2011 that my parents wrote in response to my coming out 🏳️🌈. "utter disgrace" "never want to see ANY man in your life" "do you think it's a joke?" Put it away and took a slow, deep breath. 🏳️🌈✊.
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REMINDER to #gays: body-shaming is NEVER cute. While this may be a benign comment, for some folks comments like these (and much worse ones) push people in our 🏳️🌈 community to a down spiral of body image, self-esteem issues, bigorexia, etc. PLEASE BE MINDFUL!!
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Every time someone hints that wearing a 🏳️🌈 pin on my 🥼 "can be offensive" I think of the 🏳️⚧️ kid I took care of in the ER who said "I finally feel seen" pointing at it, and i'm NEVER taking it off.
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Few weeks ago, I met a Black teenager on the #subway who gestured at my 🩺, expressed her dream of being a #pediatrician but opportunity limitations from being #firstgen. Today, I'm THRILLED to report that we finalized summer #shadowing AND #research opportunities for her!!!.
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On a TROLL blocking BINGE again. Shoutout to the person who wrote: "may you get AIDS and die so you f*g's never have children." But I'm going to focus on the positives about how we're here to support #trans community, #immigrants and mental health. Here's to my 🏳️🌈 jingle bells!
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Submitted my first *ever* manuscript of graduate school on 🫀rhythm disorders!!! And in 5 days I get to see my father after 13 years. #mdphd #immigrant 🏳️🌈✊🏾
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I was on the #bus and the conductor wouldn't let a lady through. she didn't have $. I paid her fare. We start chatting, find out she's uninsured (been wanting to see a doc). so I give her info to our Free Clinic & all the city hospital resources. Hoping that helps. ❤️.
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Not in my wildest dreams would my 23 year old self, newly out 🏳️🌈, newly estranged from parents know to fast forward a decade and feel a joyous sparkle with my hubby by my side. For those missing family community today, we’re here for you. ♥️. #MerryChristmas #NYC
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Is there such a thing as giving your 🐶 too much ❤️? 😁
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Went to see the @rockcenternyc tree with my hub @ekutscher and was FILLED with 🙏 and ❤️ thinking about how my #Twitter family lights my life! Thank you for supporting this 🏳️🌈 #immigrant 👨⚕️trainee as I wade through ✊ for #LGBTQ rights and health equity. #HappyHolidays!
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This week, my hubby @ekutscher and I are celebrating *10 years* of 🏳️🌈❤️: someone who inspires me to tune out the noise of anti-#LGBTQ hate, to ✊ for health #justice, and to become a more compassionate doctor. You make me smile like nothing or no one else in the world. ❤️❤️
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We were silent for 13 years after I came out 🏳️🌈 But finally reconnected this year. The ❤️ never faded. #HappyFathersDay
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NO # of HATEFUL DMs/comments will MAKE ME remove my HE/HIM pronoun pin. I aim to create an #inclusive environment in our #healthcare spaces and offer protection the SAME WAY we protect one another with #masks and #CovidVaccines. And yes, #vaccines save lives. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💉✊
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JUST got confirmation that my previous citizenship was successfully surrendered & now I ONLY HAVE MY 🇺🇸 PASSPORT!!! I'm staring at our pic in City Hall, and have happy tears 🏳️🌈🥲. While my folks may never acknowledge our marriage, it wouldn't be possible without you @ekutscher
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This is the first #MothersDay in *13* yrs my mother and I communicated. 🥲 . The estrangement after my coming out 🏳️🌈 was tough. But we reconnected recently. I thought the ability to show love had waned, but I said "i love you, mom" and it just felt right. ❤️
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Shoutout to the person who DM'd AND emailed me "photos of you and your so called husband are GROSS. Keep that shit away from young minds on the internet." . Here's to more GROSSNESS and being proudly #gay. #Pride2023 🏳️🌈❤️
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ekutscher!!! Over the last 10 yrs, you've been an INCREDIBLE hubby, co-author and social justice advocate! Your ✊ for improving #addiction care and #meded inspires me to be a better doctor everyday. Here's to some #Twitter love on your 🎈day! 🏳️🌈
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As we wrap 2022, I'm feeling GRATEFUL for another year as an #mdphd trainee. I was floating through corporate America when I decided to make the switch at 30. Being a 🏳️🌈 #immigrant has made the journey harder, but I'm PROUD of where I am, and hope my estranged parents are too.✊
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It is OK for men to be emotional, vulnerable and talk about our feelings!!!! Break with the TOXIC MASCULINITY! ♥️.
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Received a "HAPPY PRIDE" 🏳️🌈 message from my mother & my heart is full because we didn't talk for 13 years after I came out. 🥲 #PrideMonth2023.
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Here's the other thing. Immigrants often feel totally lost navigating our healthcare system (where people who don't speak english well have it worse). As an immigrant myself, and in medicine, I constantly feel the need to pay it forward.
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To the closeted boy who slipped away from home & established a new life here, fielded questions about accent, skin color ("is it molasses or charred coffee?" asked at a gas station), name. Feels like a DREAM celebrating #FourthofJuly with my hubby @ekutscher as a new 🏳️🌈🇺🇸!!!
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@uche_blackstock Carnegie Mellon canceling a Black professor’s personal pain and perspective to cover up a donor sounds similar to why white supremacist hospital cultures don’t change because those in charge bring in the revenues and donations and the interpersonal pleas and woes are silenced.
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A first generation #Black high schooler who recently asked me about my 🩺 on the #subway because she wants to be a #pediatrician took me up on my email offer and now we're organizing a healthcare #careerpanel at her HS which has mostly first gen Black and Hispanic kids!!!! 🥲🙌.
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With my husband @ekutscher by my side, I became an 🇺🇸 citizen earlier this year. As Respect for Marriage Act became LAW today, I feel like a PROUD 🏳️🌈🇺🇸✊. As a physician trainee, I will NEVER stop advocating for #LGBTQ health and rights.
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This stems from the fact that when I was a medstudent on the wards, I was constantly around a lot of pts towards the end of life, and there was a plethora of regrets. I'm trying to overcome regret and resentment.
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WE BOUGHT AN APARTMENT in #NYC 2 years ago in March!! From having no money, no financial cushion & regularly having to skip meals, to owning a place with my hubby, STILL feels like a dream. 🏳️🌈✊ #immigrantdream
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Took me nearly 20 years to accept myself, my 🏳️🌈 identity, to step away from hateful comments around being an #immigrant, being an openly gay med trainee, around Black Lives Matter and Pronoun symbols on my lanyard. but now I'm GLEAMING in the sun with my hubby by my side. ❤️✊
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👋 lovely new folks. I'm a 🏳️🌈 #immigrant MDPhD student in #NYC, transitioned from a career in finance. Passionate about 🫀 health, #LGBTQ banter, #immigrant health & health equity. I've had a rough coming out, estrangement from parents, and am raw & vulnerable in my tweets. 🙏
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JUST SUBMITTED MY FIRST EVER @NIH GRANT APPLICATION!!!!! Embracing this MD-PhD journey to the fullest 😀 #lifegoals #mdphd #gaymedtwitter 🏳️🌈👨🏾⚕️👨🔬
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vulnerability moment: I haven't seen my parents in 13 years since coming out 🏳️🌈, and i'm finally seeing my father this April, and I'm excited and anxious and despondent all at the same time.
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The DM bullying never stopped at 🏳️🌈 flag swastikas/ AIDS wishes. "NEVER GIVE f*gs citizenship" & "stop stealing #medschool spots from REAL Americans!". I'm a new 🇺🇸, and in upcoming #elections, I'm EMBOLDENED to work with new Americans to recognize #LGBTQ needs, #equity. ✊
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Today, I was #volunteering at a ballet workshop for kids with disabilities. Despite neurologic challenges, my "little Buddy" danced beautifully. At the end, he said: "Thank You for making me feel so special today. I promise to give back when I grow up to be Superman!" 🥲❤️.
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