Steve Yegge
@Steve_Yegge
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Google engineering philosophy: It's a marathon, not a sprint. Let's take the time to get it right for our users, sustainably.
Amazon engineering: You can run a marathon in 5 hours.
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2019 Web Design Best Practices:
1. Make sure your desktop experience is best, but slightly shitty on mobile.
2. Also include a shitty mobile-web site as the default.
3. Prompt us daily to switch to your shitty native mobile app.
I think that covers it.
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I'm pleased to share that I have joined Sourcegraph as their new Head of Engineering. So excited!
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I don't think pointy-hairs fully understand how much Stack Overflow has revolutionized programming. It's the biggest accelerator since IDEs.
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I'm excited to announce that Cody is here for everyone. Cody can explain, diagnose, and fix your code like an expert, right in your IDE. No code base is too challenging for Cody.
It's like having your own personal team of senior engineers. Try it out!
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It baffles me that everyone on Earth wants you to use their mobile app, but it ALWAYS provides an inferior experience to the web/desktop version, even on mobile. Looking at you, GMail and other GSuites apps, and Reddit, and just about everyone else. Why does native mobile suck?
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I've just posted my first update since joining Sourcegraph six months ago, "Cheating is All You Need". In it I introduce AI-backed coding assistants, which are the biggest change I've seen in 35 years as an engineer. Enjoy!
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Speaking of Google Cloud deprecating shit, they've deprecated spending limits on App Engine, so I have to go learn some new system after years of saying "cap it at $100". Fuck App Engine, and Fuck GCP. I can't wait to get off this shit platform. It's visibly decaying.
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Apple is refusing my app because I won't redesign it to shove Sign in with Apple down the customer's throat, relegating other (BETTER) options (Google, Facebook) to a tiny link at the bottom. They are bullying, monopolistic, anticompetitive fucking THUGS. When will they pay?
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Google has a disease. Deprecation is bit-rot. If they keep deprecating everything, Google Cloud will never stand a chance.
#stopdeprecatingshit
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Google's approach to Cloud seems to be (1) deprecate the shit out of everything all the time, (2) don't document how to migrate, (3) ????, (4) don't profit.
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Fun fact: Pit bulls make up only 6% of the dog population, but they’re responsible for 68% of dog attacks and 52% of dog-related deaths since 1982.
Pit bulls need to be banned. Yes, I choose to die on this hill.
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Using Google APIs is like a Choose Your Own Adventure where *almost* every path continues for 2 years before it is deprecated and dies. I will never EVER use Google Cloud Endpoints again, for instance, nor App Engine Java. It's insane how they neglect their docs and libraries.
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I've spent MONTHS adding Sign in with Apple to my app because it's a new requirement. It's practically undocumented and was INSANELY hard to get working, and required a major backend redesign. And they're refusing my app because I'm not shoving Google/FB into "other options".
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Happy holidays everyone! One thing I reflect back on in 2020 is that software engineers around the world are like a secret society that transcends corporations and governments. We're all friends in that way. Maybe we should collectively try to accomplish something next year.
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I'm about 2 weeks from launching my game Wyvern on Steam. It's been a looong road that started back in May 2020, but we're almost there. It's kind of scary, actually. Steam is so huge these days. I hope it goes well!
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One thing we've learned from the pandemic is that biological warfare would be uniquely and asymmetrically effective against the United States of America.
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Saying you don't need debuggers because you have unit tests is like saying you don't need detectives because you have jails.
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The instructions I received to prep for a colonoscopy included "bring your own Vaseline" and I feel this was a pretty good metaphor for the entire US healthcare system.
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If people can get fat, and corporations are people, then companies can get fat too. This really explains a lot. Amazon is totally ripped, and Google can barely get off the couch.
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Fun fact: Apple is the only 2-trillion dollar company with an OS that can't remember what desktops your apps were on when it restarts every fucking day.
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New Rule: If you post Java or Kotlin code on
@StackOverflow
, include your goddamn import statements.
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Turning 50 next month. If I could give one bit of advice every 50 years, it would be this: Live life like it's your second time going through it.
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Open-sourcing software is like selling your house. You suddenly realize you've been living in sort of a pig sty all these years.
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I've been writing Obj C for iOS lately. I suspect they called it "Objective C" because that was shorter than "Objective Pile of Shit".
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I used to bash on
@ApacheGroovy
back in its early days, but they cleaned it up and it's a solid language now. Spock in particular has changed my outlook on testing forever, and it's largely due to Groovy. (Spek is no fun in comparison).
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With
@kotlin
1.1 they've gone from "Wow, great language" to "Using anything else is starting to look inexcusable." I'm officially a convert.
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Apple finally approved my app after I screamed loud enough; they no longer need me to arbitrarily rewrite my entire 4-year-old sign-in flow to suit their personal tastes du jour. I guess I can delete my "fuck-apple" git branch.
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Shouldn’t millions of recently-vaccinated people have autism now? Or could it be possible that anti-vaxxers are full of shit?
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All we need in order to complete America's downfall is a virus that requires you to take your shoes off before going in your house.
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Man I love the Spock testing framework. And Groovy has grown into such a cool language. I doubt they'll ever be dethroned. They've turned me into a TDD guy.
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I just lost 2 full days of work because
#vscode
didn't auto-save my work. I am appalled that this is the default. I haven't lost that much work since I was in college 30 years ago. Thanks, VSCode!
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I have this conversation easily 10 times a day, so I'm just going to put this out here:
This is a grainy video of a Cody teammate, Bee Woo, demoing what Cody can do right now. And you'll have it for private code, with a free tier, within 2 weeks.
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The outcome of this WSB drama should be that short-selling should be made illegal. It's that simple. Shorting is legalized institutionalized gambling. It has no place in a properly-functioning market.
But somehow I think that's not what's going to happen.
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The Go Programming Language may just be the best language for writing the language you want to write in.
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I opened my Wyvern IntelliJ project in VSCode, and of course it doesn't even build or run, but Cody happily refactors my code for me. It even suggested a better split than the one I thought of.
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For fuck's sake, why aren't the governments going after Apple? They're all focused on Amazon, Google, Facebook, but the REAL anticompetitive behavior comes from Apple. There are thousands of devs who could testify.
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The three hardest problems in Computer Science are naming things, cache invalidation, and pairing console controllers.
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Calling it now: Trump's case of "Covid" is a publicity stunt so he can say he got the disease and had no ill effects (or that he "beat" it).
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I wonder if Julius Caesar was a narcissistic relentless bullshitter secretly in debt to the Mongols. Because that would explain a lot.
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I find it pretty shocking that Atlassian's
@Confluence
wiki doesn't support syntax highlighting in code snippets. In 2020.
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If Tom Brady gets another 2 rings he officially becomes a Nazgul.
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My dog and I are clearly playing different games. Every time we go for a walk, he takes the RPG path and I take the survival horror path.
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I have finally discovered the long-awaited formula for developer productivity. It is the number of engineers divided by the number of PMs.
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Of all the shit sandwiches I've ever had to eat in my programming career, Sign in with Apple (with server-side validation) is turning out to be a six-foot party sub with an extra side helping of shit salad. And Apple is forcing it on us. With no docs to speak of. Just wow.
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Hollywood hasn't figured out that I, and millions of others, will never go into a movie theater again, EVER. Even before Covid it was a terrible experience. Give us streaming options!
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Man, I don't tweet much, but when I do, it's to say that Gemini is the ass-kissingest LLM on the fucking planet. Every single response it gives me starts with LET ME KISS YOUR ASS FIRST. YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU'VE DONE SUCH A GOOD JOOOOOOOB.
Wtf, Google.
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After 4 years of using hg and git in parallel, I'm giving up on hg. Its core command set (push/pull/merge/update/status) is too error-prone.
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The US is in far greater trouble than Italy, due to our widespread obesity, diabetes, poverty, homelessness, drug addiction, incarceration rates, health care costs, lack of insurance, and of course the great American Exceptionalism that makes so many people here feel invincible.
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So apparently a new discipline appeared this week, the "ML Prompt Engineer", whose job is to poke/prompt AI models like GPT-3 until they solve things we used to solve by training models. We're finding we need model pokers rather than model trainers now.
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LPT: If your hands are cold, kick off a rebuild of your
@kotlin
project and put your hands under your laptop.
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Nobody really understands the Gradle build system. If you claim you do, and you're not a maintainer, you're just a commonplace street liar.
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If, like me, you have written off Windows as a development platform (i.e. you're using some flavor of Unix), well, their support for shells is just incredible these days. It is a shell-friendly OS, dare I say even Emacs-friendly. Color me impressed.
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After all these "adventures" with Google Cloud and Apple breaking my app every time I turn around, I have become sooooo grateful to
#Android
for not breaking my app (with compatibility issues) ONCE in the past 4 years. Thank you!
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This just in:
@Microsoft
is also banning the Zelda franchise for the Master Sword, as well as Masters degrees, and the mastering part of the recording process. Corporate virtue signaling at its most embarrassing.
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I see all these investigative journalists going after Amazon; they're a popular target. Why isn't anyone going after Apple? They are literally forcing developers into promoting Apple services over competitors; it's textbook anti-competitive bullying, and we're powerless about it.
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Gradle just keeps getting better. My relationship with Gradle as my project build system has gradually improved over the years, to where I think it's safe to say I have Stockholm Syndrome.
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I used to daydream about switching from
@gradle
to
@BuckBuildTool
or
@bazelbuild
, but I don't see the point anymore. Gradle is lightning fast, reliable, expressive, and now it has a Kotlin DSL. As far as I'm concerned Gradle has won the build wars. Great work by the Gradle team.
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I had an outage last night because Google Cloud didn't notify me that I had a Cloud SQL client cert expiring. They notified me 2 years ago for the previous one, 10 days in advance, so I figured maybe they wouldn't FUCK UP this time and forget to email me. Boy was I wrong.
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Tweeting is All You Need
Hey folks, I'm officially turning this into a Cody account.
We've only been collecting user feedback for a few days, but reports from the field are starting to arrive:
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I was a judge at a UW undergrad capstone project fair yesterday.
One of the best teams had created a virtual machine and extension language for TensorFlow. Amazing work.
None of them knew who Jeff Dean is.
I voted for a mobile app.
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You can tell just how *historically* bad income inequality has become, when you see the look on the face of a Jane Austen fan the moment they find out how much Mr. Darcy was worth in today's dollars: $330k/year. That's "all" he had.
We are so fucked.
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Friendly reminder that 15,000 people have died of Covid-9 worldwide--a number which, if it continues to double every 5 days, will reach 1.92 million by end of April. If you have any choice, please
#StayTheFuckHome
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Every now and then Google does something silly like remember your last position from a video six years ago. Goddamn showoffs. But the scale required for that silliness really is impressive.
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It should bother you that US pharmaceutical commercials are Super Bowl quality.
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I'm sure there are people who don't like the look of Big Sur, but man, shoutout to the designers. Not only does it look fantastic, it also makes Windows look like their UI hasn't changed since 1993. Although that was also true before Big Sur.
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Cody is science fiction, IMO. I am so excited about this:
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Anyone else notice the irony in a million crazed day traders on /r/wallstreetbets finally realizing that buying and holding might be a good thing?
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This is wild. You can take a jpeg of your service latency graph and GPT will generate a burndown chart on your SLO error budget for you. It's basically integrating the curve for you, from a picture. Nice one,
@nobl9inc
!
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I'm shocked at how many companies still think that hiding their whitepapers, and asking you to sign up to talk to rep in order to read them, is a good idea.
I only consider buying from companies that make their whitepapers public for everyone. Period.
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I've been building a project with
@SourcegraphCody
and GPT-4o at the whole-class level, with the model writing all the implementations. I just negotiate with it to rewrite each building block until it works. It's easily 10x as productive. The new boilerplate.
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For those following my show, apologies: I went from trying to make a "show my studio" episode to giving my house a huge makeover all summer. It's been an obsession. Anyway, I'll post a new video soon. Thanks for your patience!
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Working from home, Day 44 -- historians take note -- Everyone's hair looks like shit.
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10 years ago I used
@1800flowers
and they missed their delivery date by 3 days, so no flowers on Valentines. I was mad and said "never again". Fast forward 10 years and I tried again, and guess what? No flowers; they're delayed until the 16th. Lesson: Never, EVER use them. Ever.
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Jeff Bezos could probably redeem himself in a lot of people's eyes if he became a real-life Willy Wonka and gave away a chocolate factory.
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Baseball is like a reverse drinking game. In regular drinking games, you drink when something interesting happens.
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One strong argument against Tesla is that only gas-powered vehicles will work during the zombie apocalypse.
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Sometimes I hate browsers for stealing the color blue. Is it wrong of me to want to make some text a nice blue color? But no, that means it's a link. Thanks for taking away one of our 3 primary colors, Internet.
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Apple could implement focus-follows mouse as a Preference. I know this because apps steal the focus from me *all the time*. Apple just want to be bastards about it.
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Github users are the vegans of the open source world. They won't shut the fuck up about it, even if you're just talking about the weather.
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I finally got Ziply gigabit internet today. My YouTube upload, normally 30-40 minutes under Comcast, finished before I could even fill out the video details form. I'm getting 1.1gbps up and down. 30x faster than Xfinity. It's life-changing.
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In the past year or two, Stack Overflow crossed that magical threshold where when you do a search, if it's not SO, then it's a shitty link.
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Epidemiologists everywhere must all feel a somewhat guilty excitement right now. I mean, this is what they’ve been preparing for their whole careers. It's practically a Far Side comic.
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I hope Navalny is laughing from his prison cell at how incompetent Putin has been at everything from poisoning underwear to invading Ukraine.
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Elon Musk: "It doesn't qualify as a pandemic until it reaches Mars."
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That said, I still can't get enough SO reputation to comment. I *hate* asking questions. It wants me to spam questions for karma. Fuck that.
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New guy requested an IBM Thinkpad running Windows instead of a standard company-issue Mac laptop. He's like the most ironic hipster alive.
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Rockstar announced an RDR2 DLC that has Arthur Morgan battle with depression, prostate cancer. "This is excitingly realistic new tedium," said Rockstar on Thursday. "The DLC brings an unprecedented level of suffering to players who had just started getting used to the controls."
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The world should sanction every country that refuses to sanction Russia. Most notably, India.
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If there are infinite parallel universes, then there is a strong statistical probability that Donald Trump is being eaten alive by zombies in some of them right now.
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Finally got Comcast out to look at my shitty internet, after many hours on phone. Result: bad power adapter when they installed it. I've had it for 9 years, getting 60% of what I've paid for the whole time ($280/mo).
They gave me a $40 credit.
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My experience with Steam onboarding: They emailed me saying my tax info was wrong, without telling me what was wrong, or giving me any contact info, and their site won't let me update my tax info. Oh, and the email has no links, and invalid instructions. This is gonna be fun.
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This week has been a global competition to see which world leader can say or do the dumbest thing. So far, almost all of them are tied for first place.
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Jeff Bezos has assembled arguably the world's largest fleet of delivery drivers who all want to piss in my front yard.
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Linh and I have been trying to figure out why CNN only shows us ads for old fat people.
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Every single Amazon-branded smart plug in my house has decided to become unresponsive and refuses to be reconfigured. Every other of my 50+ devices works fine, including Echos, other smart plugs, and other Amazon devices. Thanks, Amazon!
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Once I had a dream where I was looking at my family tree, and across from my great great grandma was this huge cartoon bull like Ferdinand with a big ring in his nose and I woke up all sad because I thought I was part beefalo. And then about an hour later I was like what the fuck
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First time I've used Ruby in 7 years, and rubygems are *still* an installation nightmare on every platform. WTF Rubyists?
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