Stassi Schroeder Clark Profile Banner
Stassi Schroeder Clark Profile
Stassi Schroeder Clark

@stassi

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424,646
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608
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
2 years
It’s a really good day. 💙 My book is officially OUT. If you haven’t already ordered it, feel free to. Or don’t, whatever you think. Okay cool, ttyl. #owmh
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Please be real. Please be real. Please be real.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
OMG. I feel like Meghan Markle. 💍
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME JORDYN. Yea, I’m gif’ing myself. I’m angry.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Yesterday was the best day of my life. I love you so much it’s disgusting @iambeau . Can not thank @LisaVanderpump enough for making the night a freaking DREAM.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
We’re all in agreement that we need to stay inside, wash hands, and that Carole killed her husband, right? #TigerKing
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Getting engaged to Beau in a graveyard was the best moment of my life, but need to thank @LisaVanderpump for welcoming my family & friends into her home to celebrate after. It was already magical but she helped it go NEXT LEVEL (and so posh) ❤️
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Beau thinks I weigh 103 lbs. It’s so cute.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I constantly get “bring back season 1 stassi” tweets. And when I do, y’all go calling me to the guillotine. Pick a lane, please.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
All these ppl tweeting at Beau to “run” like he wasn’t aware I was psycho before now.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I’m willing to go back to waitressing at SUR for this quarantine to be over. Honestly— at this point, I’d pay to put on that SUR dress and clock in.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
This feels like the time I quit Vanderpump rules, moved to New York and didn’t know what to do with myself.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I don’t even think I know how to socialize anymore. Once this is over, I’m going to be so weird at parties.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
So planning a wedding that may be nonexistent is fun. Def recommend.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Mood
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Y’ALL. I wrote a freaking book!!!!!!! People always say to write what you know. So obvs I wrote about what I know best — being basic. Next Level Basic is out April - AND you can preorder here: Like holy shit, holy shit. That’s my book!!!
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Oh. My. Honored.
@ColumbusZoo
Columbus Zoo
6 years
😻New cats in town! Month-old clouded leopards are currently being hand reared behind-the-scenes by our expert animal programs team. The cats' names are Stassi and Beau after the cast of the TV show Vanderpump Rules!
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I’m not good at responding to texts. This quarantine isn’t ideal. Everyone knows I’m not busy now.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Beau is on a group zoom chat of what looks to be about 40 people & it sounds like he’s the only one who’s been talking the whole time. Which means I’m marrying the guy who takes over zoom parties. I don’t know how to feel.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Ice pick + Tristan
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Hi mom, I’m engaged & we found our hashtag. #FromDarkToClark
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
There’s no rule book for dealing with death/grief. I would implore everyone who’s attacking Lala to take a moment to digest that. #pumprules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Finally I can start watching the Bachelor again. 22 yr olds pretending they’re there to get married got really bore bore. Congrats @Clare_Crawley
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
7 years
Some do.
@urhighhness
Savannah 🌻
7 years
Does anyone actually like @stassi ?? #PumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Now more than ever: an orgasm a day keeps depression away.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Brb, reworking my whole wedding look...
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Um. I’ll take the shark room. 🙋‍♀️ #RHONY
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
It was my grandmother’s favorite dress on me. Enjoy your night.
@MyCrownIsHeavy
Nick ✨️
5 years
@sur_rules @stassi @iambeau That purple dress is horrible.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Yea, but why is Kim Kardashian in front of me?
@wonbyte
G$
6 years
@stassi Big time
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Girl, you were harmless. And watching that scene had me rolling. Whoever’s saying it’s inappropriate is a weirdo. @scheana
@scheana
🏳️‍🌈Scheana
4 years
“About it”??? It was most definitely NOT about Nikolai. You ppl are disgusting for thinking this. He’s a kid I’ve watched grow up. How the hell else do you talk to a teenage boy at a dinner table? Should I have ignored him?
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
I literally have never cared about sports. Never owned a Saints shirt. I knew nothing about football until I met Beau. Loving your hometown has zero to do with a sports game. Sit your ass down.
@btrflyfairy21
Butterfly Fairy
6 years
Fuck that Stassi! Remember where you came from. Be a woman that doesn’t change who you are for a man, for once. I bet you only like his type of music too. #SoDisapointed #FairWeatherFans #WhoDatNation
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Day 7263. Pounds gained 7263.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
After seeing “she can put down the food”... I’m disgusted, repulsed and weirded the eff out. #pumprules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
“Best selling bitch”. Write it on my tombstone. #PumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
I legitimately credit you, @chrissyteigen for keeping me employed. I bend the knee to you.
@chrissyteigen
chrissy teigen
6 years
Tip: If you love a show, talk about it while it’s still on the air. Help them out. Hype them up. Like me and pump rules. You think that shit is ever getting cancelled? That shit is never getting cancelled
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Beau and I got in our first quarantine fight yesterday... over the size of the TV. I also got my first quarantine hangover today. And it’s April 1st. Just been sitting around thinking lots of “firsts”. This is the lamest tweet ever.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I haven’t worn a bra in almost a month now. So gonna need another breast lift ASAP.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
I’m not sorry. They should probably step it up. @iambeau
@iambeau
Beau Clark
6 years
I’m sorry to all the boyfriends out there who’s girlfriends have seen this video on IG and have been giving you guys grief! I did not mean to set the bar sooo high as an IG BF. To the men out there... Can you please forgive me?!
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I’m deceased. 😂😂😂⚰️⚰️⚰️
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Sonja’s toaster oven would really come in handy right now.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
8 years
Dear ppl who cyber bully reality "villains", your favorite shows would be canceled if everyone sat around holding hands. You're welcome.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Surprise vs mental heath.
@BravoTV
Bravo
4 years
The ring is coming— @stassi just needs to be patient! #PumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
That’s comforting.
@mrjaxtaylor
Jax
5 years
Safe travels on your book tour @stassi I’ll take of @iambeau don’t worry. 👍🏼👨🏻🧔🏻
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Me waking up to the Meghan Markle baby announcement after spending the last two days convincing everyone around me she was preggers.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Everyone looks so chic & put together in their self-quarantine photos/videos/736384 live IG stories and I’m over here looking like Gollum in pizza stained sweatpants.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Models who post about their photo shoots in exotic locations with the caption “just another day at the office” need to be weeded out.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Today’s the day!!!! #jaxgotitwright
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Doing my best to let the last ten years of my dating experiences go. Work in progress. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@SarahWithanH55
Sarah
6 years
Everyone hating on @stassi but I find it refreshing to see someone be so vunerable about their insecurities and to have a partner that responds in a caring, respectful, yet honest manner. #VanderpumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
True dat.
@iambeau
Beau Clark
6 years
Shout out to all @stassi exes for messing up! #HappyValentines to ME! 🐻💘💎
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
That cross is made out of my grandmother’s costume jewelry. Didn’t realize that meant I’m no longer allowed to swear. Go watch Tiger King, Kathy.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
NBD just casually spending my Saturday afternoon living vicariously through every single housewife’s IG story. @BravoTV
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
My grandma’s crew. Her version of the Witches of WeHo. Every single Saturday, they’d get their girl group together for mass and a girls’ dinner. That’s commitment to the girls club. I’m so honored to have filled in for my grandma, at least for a moment.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
I just woke up from a nightmare where I was wearing these and I’m shook.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Ugh. I’m embarrassed that I’m triggered by show stuff when there’s much more important shit going on right now. Seriously, feel free to judge me. I’m judging myself.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I need to know if Sonja is quarantined with her interns. Can we check on them?
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
My backup lightest foundation is now too dark for my skin. Fuck.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
My favorite reason yet
@dstat74
denise 🌺
6 years
@stassi I ordered your book because I really want you and Beau to get a house with AC.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
If you really need a high-5, you can ask. I’m in the other room. @iambeau
@iambeau
Beau Clark
4 years
What if I have some crazy disorder from missing Hi-5’s so much, that it turns sexual for needing that human contact... with a good POP 🙏🏼💥!? I just NEED that right now. Ugh
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
#PumpRules is BACK—don't miss the season premiere Tuesday, January 7th and 9/8c on @BravoTV !
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
When this is over, pretty sure my dogs aren’t going to know how to function when we leave the house.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Um @chrissyteigen for president. If she can get The Backstreet Boys lyrics figured out, what else could she do?
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Real talk. Do I need to make an IG account for my hair extensions
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
You love it.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Really down to do this whole law school thing with Kim K. I feel like I’d totes be a great running mate. Ranch and wine for all! #2028
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
My thoughts on this episode: if I didn’t have such oversized non-supported boobs, I too would go sans “breast prison” EVERY DAMN DAY. @dayna_kathan 🙌
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I thought my fake chin was now part of my DNA? Bummer.
@mansplainforyou
Mansplainer
5 years
Does Stassi know that if she has kids, they will all have the ugly features she paid so much to get rid of? @stassi #VanderpumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
7 years
This Bachelor in paradise shit better not be true. You can't take this from me.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
My bro, my dad and my Beau. ❤️
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
I just don’t get why I can’t buy eggnog all year round.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Oh em gee. I was such a little baby c*nt. Lol.
@misogul
Phoenix
6 years
Me IRL @stassi
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I would cut off a finger to make small talk with someone.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
My headscarf though. ❤️
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Why does this feel like a good time to cut my own bangs.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
PRIDE bitchessssssss!! 🌈
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
8 years
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Friendly reminder I’m infuriated with both parties. Yes, this still has me shook.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I got whozits and whatzits galore, bitches.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Totally thought I was an introvert until now.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Oh my lord!!!!!
@GMA
Good Morning America
5 years
We can’t get over these baby clouded leopards from the @ColumbusZoo named after #PumpRules stars @stassi and @iambeau !
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
So intermittent fasting hasn’t been going well this week.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Sign me up.
@lifetimetv
Lifetime
5 years
Hey @stassi we heard you like Lifetime movies? 😈🔪 Well, here's one you would DIE for! 👀
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
8 years
This is what I was planning on wearing at my future inauguration. Damnit @MELANIATRUMP , it's perfect. 💙💙💙
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
7 years
At airport, just heard someone yell “princess”, and I just realized that I actually physically turned around to answer. #noshame
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
This twitter feud thing is new for me. Is this what it feels like to be @mrjaxtaylor ? Lol ... quarantine life is getting weird.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Stay strong.
@oheezy
HBiC
4 years
Watching Beau propose to @stassi just stopped me from texting my ex. Thank you 💕
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
That aperol spritz though
@housewivesguy
That Housewives Guy
5 years
New Season 8 intro looks! @stassi @mrjaxtaylor @BNCartwright and a bow-tied @iambeau , of course! #PumpRules
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Question: what would you call this style? I’m into it. A lot. And I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like a moron, but help me pleaseeee
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Love my hometown, but I love my relationship more.
@iambeau
Beau Clark
6 years
Who Dat?! That’s @stassi repping the @RamsNFL !!!! #RamsNation
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
No one talk to/call/text/email me for at least a week. #GamefThrones is the best show in the history of the world.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
7 years
Alrightttt. New podcast episode up. With my beau. #straightupwithstassi
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
I love Kim. I love Kanye. I love TSwift. Please don’t make me choose. I can’t take anymore stress at this point.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
7 years
I’m so sorry @mrjaxtaylor . Your dad was such a wonderful man. And I feel honored to have known him. Thinking of your family.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
4 years
Correction: jewelry is all that fits me right now.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Today is my birthday, but yesterday was my baby sister’s wedding. And it was the best freakin day ever.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Blurry ass drunken photo from the night we got engaged. Love it, won’t delete later.
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
NO FREAKING CAPTION NEEDED
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
5 years
Freaking FINALLY. I’ve been trying to manifest this for YEARS.
@netflix
Netflix
5 years
Grab your bikes and find your best friends because "Now and Then" will be available to stream on Netflix US starting August 1
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@stassi
Stassi Schroeder Clark
6 years
Let’s get something straight. Marina del Rey is gorge. The shade isn’t about the location, it’s about the time it takes to get there. And I’m jaded, so there’s that.
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