Stassi Schroeder Clark
@stassi
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424,646
Following
608
Media
1,058
Statuses
6,686
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North Carolina
• 890417 Tweets
Hurricane Helene
• 654944 Tweets
#JACKANDJOKEREP4
• 409840 Tweets
EP4 U STEAL MY HEART
• 367259 Tweets
FEMA
• 306232 Tweets
#FreeMoraraKebaso
• 195015 Tweets
Dikembe Mutombo
• 117072 Tweets
Meat Eaters Will Go To Hell
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Valdosta
• 95706 Tweets
National Day
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Mets
• 53522 Tweets
Verizon
• 46852 Tweets
MertRamazanDemir AfraSaraçoğlu
• 44159 Tweets
Indigenous
• 42716 Tweets
HAPPY JIMTOBER
• 41996 Tweets
#ゆうぴー愛してるぞ
• 38346 Tweets
Braves
• 34650 Tweets
Andrés Manuel López Obrador
• 31051 Tweets
#النصر_الريان
• 30203 Tweets
RIP Legend
• 30070 Tweets
スレッタ
• 28402 Tweets
#الاهلي_الوصل
• 28393 Tweets
MANTRA IS COMING
• 23396 Tweets
Semih
• 15055 Tweets
#KYSvBJK
• 13077 Tweets
MANTRA BY JENNIE
• 12854 Tweets
Kademeli Emeklilik Mitingi
• 11013 Tweets
Please be real. Please be real. Please be real.
BIG NEWS:
#KimKardashianWest
SPIT on
#TristenThompson
#TristanThompson
at hospital over
#cheatig
scandal
#BlackTwitter
#KUWTK
#KimKardashian
#KhloeKardashian
#MomLife
#KhloeBaby
#CelebrityBabies
#MomLife
#LaniBlair
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ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME JORDYN. Yea, I’m gif’ing myself. I’m angry.
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Yesterday was the best day of my life. I love you so much it’s disgusting
@iambeau
. Can not thank
@LisaVanderpump
enough for making the night a freaking DREAM.
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We’re all in agreement that we need to stay inside, wash hands, and that Carole killed her husband, right?
#TigerKing
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Getting engaged to Beau in a graveyard was the best moment of my life, but need to thank
@LisaVanderpump
for welcoming my family & friends into her home to celebrate after. It was already magical but she helped it go NEXT LEVEL (and so posh) ❤️
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I constantly get “bring back season 1 stassi” tweets. And when I do, y’all go calling me to the guillotine. Pick a lane, please.
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All these ppl tweeting at Beau to “run” like he wasn’t aware I was psycho before now.
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I’m willing to go back to waitressing at SUR for this quarantine to be over. Honestly— at this point, I’d pay to put on that SUR dress and clock in.
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This feels like the time I quit Vanderpump rules, moved to New York and didn’t know what to do with myself.
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I don’t even think I know how to socialize anymore. Once this is over, I’m going to be so weird at parties.
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So planning a wedding that may be nonexistent is fun. Def recommend.
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Y’ALL. I wrote a freaking book!!!!!!! People always say to write what you know. So obvs I wrote about what I know best — being basic. Next Level Basic is out April - AND you can preorder here: Like holy shit, holy shit. That’s my book!!!
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Oh. My. Honored.
😻New cats in town! Month-old clouded leopards are currently being hand reared behind-the-scenes by our expert animal programs team. The cats' names are Stassi and Beau after the cast of the TV show Vanderpump Rules!
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I’m not good at responding to texts. This quarantine isn’t ideal. Everyone knows I’m not busy now.
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Beau is on a group zoom chat of what looks to be about 40 people & it sounds like he’s the only one who’s been talking the whole time. Which means I’m marrying the guy who takes over zoom parties. I don’t know how to feel.
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There’s no rule book for dealing with death/grief. I would implore everyone who’s attacking Lala to take a moment to digest that.
#pumprules
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Finally I can start watching the Bachelor again. 22 yr olds pretending they’re there to get married got really bore bore. Congrats
@Clare_Crawley
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Some do.
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Now more than ever: an orgasm a day keeps depression away.
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It was my grandmother’s favorite dress on me. Enjoy your night.
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HOW IS THIS A NEWS ARTICLE. GOD HELP US.
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Girl, you were harmless. And watching that scene had me rolling. Whoever’s saying it’s inappropriate is a weirdo.
@scheana
“About it”??? It was most definitely NOT about Nikolai. You ppl are disgusting for thinking this. He’s a kid I’ve watched grow up. How the hell else do you talk to a teenage boy at a dinner table? Should I have ignored him?
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I literally have never cared about sports. Never owned a Saints shirt. I knew nothing about football until I met Beau. Loving your hometown has zero to do with a sports game. Sit your ass down.
Fuck that Stassi! Remember where you came from. Be a woman that doesn’t change who you are for a man, for once. I bet you only like his type of music too.
#SoDisapointed
#FairWeatherFans
#WhoDatNation
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After seeing “she can put down the food”... I’m disgusted, repulsed and weirded the eff out.
#pumprules
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I legitimately credit you,
@chrissyteigen
for keeping me employed. I bend the knee to you.
Tip: If you love a show, talk about it while it’s still on the air. Help them out. Hype them up. Like me and pump rules. You think that shit is ever getting cancelled? That shit is never getting cancelled
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Beau and I got in our first quarantine fight yesterday... over the size of the TV. I also got my first quarantine hangover today. And it’s April 1st. Just been sitting around thinking lots of “firsts”. This is the lamest tweet ever.
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I haven’t worn a bra in almost a month now. So gonna need another breast lift ASAP.
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I’m not sorry. They should probably step it up.
@iambeau
I’m sorry to all the boyfriends out there who’s girlfriends have seen this video on IG and have been giving you guys grief! I did not mean to set the bar sooo high as an IG BF. To the men out there...
Can you please forgive me?!
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Sonja’s toaster oven would really come in handy right now.
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Dear ppl who cyber bully reality "villains", your favorite shows would be canceled if everyone sat around holding hands. You're welcome.
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Surprise vs mental heath.
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That’s comforting.
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Me waking up to the Meghan Markle baby announcement after spending the last two days convincing everyone around me she was preggers.
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Everyone looks so chic & put together in their self-quarantine photos/videos/736384 live IG stories and I’m over here looking like Gollum in pizza stained sweatpants.
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Models who post about their photo shoots in exotic locations with the caption “just another day at the office” need to be weeded out.
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Doing my best to let the last ten years of my dating experiences go. Work in progress. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Everyone hating on
@stassi
but I find it refreshing to see someone be so vunerable about their insecurities and to have a partner that responds in a caring, respectful, yet honest manner.
#VanderpumpRules
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True dat.
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That cross is made out of my grandmother’s costume jewelry. Didn’t realize that meant I’m no longer allowed to swear. Go watch Tiger King, Kathy.
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My grandma’s crew. Her version of the Witches of WeHo. Every single Saturday, they’d get their girl group together for mass and a girls’ dinner. That’s commitment to the girls club. I’m so honored to have filled in for my grandma, at least for a moment.
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I just woke up from a nightmare where I was wearing these and I’m shook.
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Ugh. I’m embarrassed that I’m triggered by show stuff when there’s much more important shit going on right now. Seriously, feel free to judge me. I’m judging myself.
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I need to know if Sonja is quarantined with her interns. Can we check on them?
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My backup lightest foundation is now too dark for my skin. Fuck.
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If you really need a high-5, you can ask. I’m in the other room.
@iambeau
What if I have some crazy disorder from missing Hi-5’s so much, that it turns sexual for needing that human contact... with a good POP 🙏🏼💥!? I just NEED that right now. Ugh
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#PumpRules
is BACK—don't miss the season premiere Tuesday, January 7th and 9/8c on
@BravoTV
!
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When this is over, pretty sure my dogs aren’t going to know how to function when we leave the house.
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Um
@chrissyteigen
for president. If she can get The Backstreet Boys lyrics figured out, what else could she do?
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Real talk. Do I need to make an IG account for my hair extensions
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My thoughts on this episode: if I didn’t have such oversized non-supported boobs, I too would go sans “breast prison” EVERY DAMN DAY.
@dayna_kathan
🙌
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I thought my fake chin was now part of my DNA? Bummer.
Does Stassi know that if she has kids, they will all have the ugly features she paid so much to get rid of?
@stassi
#VanderpumpRules
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This Bachelor in paradise shit better not be true. You can't take this from me.
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I just don’t get why I can’t buy eggnog all year round.
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I would cut off a finger to make small talk with someone.
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Why does this feel like a good time to cut my own bangs.
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Friendly reminder I’m infuriated with both parties. Yes, this still has me shook.
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Oh my lord!!!!!
We can’t get over these baby clouded leopards from the
@ColumbusZoo
named after
#PumpRules
stars
@stassi
and
@iambeau
!
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So intermittent fasting hasn’t been going well this week.
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Sign me up.
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This is what I was planning on wearing at my future inauguration. Damnit
@MELANIATRUMP
, it's perfect. 💙💙💙
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This twitter feud thing is new for me. Is this what it feels like to be
@mrjaxtaylor
? Lol ... quarantine life is getting weird.
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That aperol spritz though
New Season 8 intro looks!
@stassi
@mrjaxtaylor
@BNCartwright
and a bow-tied
@iambeau
, of course!
#PumpRules
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Question: what would you call this style? I’m into it. A lot. And I don’t know how to describe it. I feel like a moron, but help me pleaseeee
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Love my hometown, but I love my relationship more.
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No one talk to/call/text/email me for at least a week.
#GamefThrones
is the best show in the history of the world.
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I love Kim. I love Kanye. I love TSwift. Please don’t make me choose. I can’t take anymore stress at this point.
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I’m so sorry
@mrjaxtaylor
. Your dad was such a wonderful man. And I feel honored to have known him. Thinking of your family.
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Today is my birthday, but yesterday was my baby sister’s wedding. And it was the best freakin day ever.
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Blurry ass drunken photo from the night we got engaged. Love it, won’t delete later.
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Let’s get something straight. Marina del Rey is gorge. The shade isn’t about the location, it’s about the time it takes to get there. And I’m jaded, so there’s that.
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