Chris Burney
@SoupBowlerChris
Followers
17,328
Following
741
Media
2,706
Statuses
32,274
I had my moment as a Golden God. Now I'm a funny and bitter old man with charisma. I apologize for my past transgressions. I’m a work in progress.
Denton, Texas
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
All my tweets are pinworthy so I’m gonna pin this shitty tweet. Go fuck yourselves gently.
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I’ve survived 51 years on this planet. I’m proud of that. I’m also quite proud of my double platinum single award. It’s a major award!
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I did it! I was shot out of my dad’s dick into my mom’s vagina and I fought with other sperms for the entry into the egg. I won and my mom shot me out of her vagina about 9 months later and here I am at the ripe old age of 50. Glad to be here!
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Is it possible to be in the same band for 26 years and not know hardly any of the lyrics to their songs? Yes.
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259
When I’m on stage I can’t believe that I still get to play the shit out of my guitar for a living. I’m a lucky fat and lazy fuck for sure, but I’m living a dream and I am thankful.
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Sherman's new rookie partner, Wallace Mabobber Burney. Wally for short.
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You know those band photos where the photographer gets the whole band to jump at the same time. Bowling for Soup has never been good at those.
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I'm down a best buddy, but I am surrounded by greatest people. Sherman has a shrine now. Got his collar hanging on the corner. Love forever.
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It’s not fun being a fat guy in the music biz, but I fucking love it and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m a sweet guy, I’m sexy, and I have a talent for entertaining.
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I’m drunk and stoned and on tour. I’m living the dream.
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Never bought a new car before and I still haven’t but I did just buy a 2019 car and that’s close enough so I’m counting that as new.
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Fresh ink for one of my favorite cities in the world.
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I still miss this beautiful soul. I think about him every day.
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@helloifailed
@FIROfficial
I’m a
@RonnieRadke
fan. All my interactions with him have been good and I think he’s a very misunderstood fella with a past that people still judge him for. I also enjoy his music! He’s not his past.
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173
When you are like me and you have 18k followers on twitter, you know that only 37-89 people actually give a shit about your tweets.
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Back in Texas after an asskicking rock and roll tour in the UK. I’m tired and proud! Now I get to sleep for a while.
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Wally's first day at the dog park. Great day of sniffing butts and running around like a psycho.
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Now that I’m down to a 4xl, I can finally wear my own band’s shirts. 👻
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This is my turning 21 and being able to buy booze drivers license pic. I didn’t even drink back then. 😂 I bought a six pack of Michelob for my dad that day.
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I'm dealing with a dog with a brain tumor while training a puppy. Challenge accepted. I love them both.
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I’m looking for good human beings to be friends with. It sounds easy, but most of you are fake assholes.
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I had hair?
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Well, if Bieber is gonna fight someone 31 years older, I guess I get a go at an 81 year old Bill Cosby. I’ll fuck that asshole up.
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I’m not a good guitar player nor am I a good singer, but I am a master entertainer as well as one of the luckiest people in the universe.
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Fuck the police! For the sensitive assholes that are offended by what I am saying, Fuck you more. I use my voice how I choose to use my voice. It is time to change the world and you can't stop it.
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This is me. I hate wearing shirts. I’m also very huggable. That’s why I have a huglife tattoo featuring Tenderheart Bear. I’m full of huggy love.
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Sports and entertainment is an outlet for humankind, not a target for hate and terror. Love to Manchester. A city that rocks.
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I’m having a bit of a low self esteem week and that’s ok because I know I’m good enough and I’m smart enough and doggone it people like me.
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137
I just want people to like me. I’m a nice guy. I speak my mind, and I don’t care about your dick or your vagina. I make jokes and I love everybody. I think we are all ridiculous.
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This warrior is going down fighting. He's a life saver and battler. I love him. I would trade my own life for his if that was a thing.
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I know I’m a pop punk icon and everything, but I’m so fucking sick of all the pizza.
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I haven't told many people other than my circle, but my best friend has a brain tumor. We are celebrating life.
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I don't listen to my own band a lot, but this is a song that I've always loved.
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People often wonder what it’s like backstage with a professional rock and roll band. It’s boring.
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I make jokes and complain about my problems here on Twitter. I’m lucky to have the life that I have and thank all of you for being here. Now go fuck yourselves gently.
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I love Madonna but can we all accept the fact that Lady Gaga is far more talented as an actress, songwriter, musician, and well-deserved diva.
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I think all of us in this world deserve hugs and loves. Do your best to give and receive both.
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Me and
@jaret2113
are a couple of happy Grammy losers.
@gwise55
is still upset with
@gwenstefani
for winning, and
@robpending
wasn’t there.
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It’s funny when I have to explain to people why and how I am moderately famous.
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Sherman is the greatest dog of all time. Fuck Lassie. This guy is the best.
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This week is not going to be good for me. I'm going to need people to be nice. I realize this is Twitter and some of you live to troll me.
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We all overthink life. It's simple. Don't be an asshole and love everyone.
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I’ve lost about 50 pounds over the last year or so... still fat. 😂
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If you think you are better than other people based on who you are, where you live, where you are from, and what religion you claim, you are wrong. You are just another one of us that lives on Earth.
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Which one of you assholes is smoking weed? Hand it over! I’m the goddamn weed police and you’ve been busted! 👻
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Well Texas, they found who is responsible for this whole power mess. Johnny strikes again.
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I can’t talk about about my night at the protest without getting emotional. I love my people of planet earth. It’s outrage and love.
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Anytime I see someone doing a halftime show and it’s not Bowling for Soup, I get a bit salty. We have the skills to pay these bills.
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I would tell you all how much I love all of you but I’m not sure about some of you. Oh fuck it. I love you all. Even my enemies. Peace and love forever! Let’s be friends!
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Sherman is judging me for wearing my own band's shirt.
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I try not to lie to people when they ask me how I’m feeling but it’s hard not to. Right now, I’m feeling glad and happy to be going on
@VansWarpedTour
. I’m ready to rock. That’s no lie.
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I’m back home from Europe and I get to see this guy. Picked him up and went to the bar.
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You’re all carrying American flags made in China as well as shooting off fireworks made in China, meanwhile I’m eating a steak finger basket from Dairy Queen and being a bit ashamed of being associated with a country that refuses to correct its mistakes.
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Who in another country not called the USA wants a fat guy and a dog to be their new roommate?
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There are some of you that I want to be better friends with but I’m too afraid to ask.
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My test results came back today and it’s true, I fucking love some of you.
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I’m not just a pretty face. My life is complicated and I am faced with many battles every day. I am a warrior for all things good. I fight for all of you and that is my duty until death.
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