Social Outcast
@SocialOutcast82
Followers
7,653
Following
5,577
Media
2,698
Statuses
58,487
It's ok if you don't like me, I don't like me either. The so-so shit:
The Abyss
Joined February 2013
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
オリンピック
• 561044 Tweets
Christianity
• 187077 Tweets
Cène
• 76784 Tweets
#TENatWATERBOMBBUSAN
• 68498 Tweets
DDAY YOU BETTA CATCH UP
• 67779 Tweets
隅田川花火大会
• 67485 Tweets
WTWGWS x MILKLOVE
• 64901 Tweets
ONE WORLD ONE SKY
• 63977 Tweets
世界遺産
• 60416 Tweets
佐渡金山
• 47043 Tweets
#男子バレー
• 42457 Tweets
バレー男子
• 33610 Tweets
#Olympics2024Paris
• 26356 Tweets
ニッポン
• 24082 Tweets
Vakko
• 22178 Tweets
#アークナイツハニバ2024
• 18259 Tweets
#withMUSIC
• 15941 Tweets
Patrick HK Walk Vlog🫨
• 14417 Tweets
Charlie Hebdo
• 14121 Tweets
フルセット
• 12347 Tweets
モンテス
• 10710 Tweets
Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
I feel like I'm too smart to be this stupid.
13
2K
7K
This is how my kid watched the eclipse yesterday, and I really hope she never loses her sense of wonder and awe in the cosmos...
669
2K
66K
Who you are when a wasp gets too close to you is the real you.
136
554
2K
Once you realize I'm an idiot, my tweets start to make a lot more sense.
9
441
2K
I'm gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.
131
256
1K
It's this beautiful girl's birthday tomorrow, and she'll be 11 years old. She never asks for much, and she gives without wanting anything in return. Can you all please help me brighten her day with birthday wishes? Thank you all❤
496
52
987
What's your favorite word to use in place of "fuck" in front of the kids?
Mine's fuck.
103
262
791
Them: Go big or go home
Me, 30 mins later, in my bed: This is nice
7
196
703
You ever been like, "Fuck the dishes. I'm having cereal in a glass tonight"?
56
168
591
So very excited and proud to finally be able to say that the granddaughter I've been fostering for nearly 4 years, officially became my daughter today!! The. Adoption. Is. FINAL!!!
69
29
517
What's happening right now is just bonus content on the 2020 DVD.
6
118
426
The hardest part about getting fuel today was finding a Wal-Mart bag without a fucking hole in it.
15
73
429
You ever nap so hard that you need a nap afterwards?
33
153
408
I bet at least 30% of Americans aren't aware other countries don't celebrate the 4th of July.
45
66
399
Dropped my Viagra down the drain, and now I have hard water.
I'll see myself out.
30
76
368
I'm almost 40 years old and I still react to a rainbow like it's the first one I've ever fucking seen.
28
70
375
Some days are good, some days are bad. Today, my daughter got engaged to the man she's been building a life with for the past few years. Today.....today was a good day❤
25
3
359
I do this funny thing where I shut the fuck up about things I don't know anything about.
28
115
349
Don't fuck with a person using a calculator at the grocery store.
16
100
341
Quit using acronyms.... I'm tired of googling shit all the time.
26
82
304
I've built enough character, life can chill the fuck out now.
4
136
272
My biggest mistake is always assuming someone's level of common sense.
7
101
252
Everyone: Edit button
Twitter: Try our new voice feature
Everyone: Edit. Button.
Twitter: Check out this new fleets
Everyone: EDIT BUTTON!!
Twitter: Try "spaces" today
Everyone: MOTHERFUCKING FUCK!!
Twitter: Your account has been locked for violating our rules.
6
88
245
Them: Act natural.
Me: *immediately becomes more awkward
10
85
237
Fuck is the most multifunctional word in the English language.
20
61
218
Therapist: So when do you think your emotional trauma started?
Me:
26
45
218
I say fuck this shit a lot for someone who never gives up.
3
103
197
Who needs an arch nemesis when you have your own thoughts?
6
95
197
John Lennon: Imagine. All. The. People....
Me: *starts having panic attack
3
103
199
For anyone wanting to know what marriage is like:
My wife just got pissed at me because she elbowed me in my face.
12
63
192
Me: Can I get a Coke?
The South: What kind?
Me: Da fuq??
28
47
194
Hey 50 yr olds...what do I have to look forward to when I get there?
263
24
190
I said I understood where you were coming from. I never said I agreed with you.
2
54
181
RIP to this little girl who was by my side for every up and down I had over the last 15 years. There are no words...💔💔
52
3
178
Me: Oh look....a tweet I want to read
Twitter refresh: You mean a tweet you thought you wanted to read...
1
55
159
The world went to shit when TV shows stopped having theme songs.
3
47
161
I'm still pissed at the Mayans for getting my hopes up.
2
72
158
If you don't sleep with a fan on all year round, it isn't going to work between us.
13
35
157
I hope I never find myself not able to find the humor in any situation.
4
50
156
A charcuterie board is nothing but an adult lunchable.
2
56
151
My kid just challenged me to a game of hide and seek. I don't think she's aware of just how good dads in my family are at disappearing.
5
51
145
She didn't need you to save her, she needed you to understand her.
5
57
146
You were the best part of someone's day today.
Never forget that.
4
54
146
Quit thinking the quiet times need to be filled with noise.
4
48
143
I'm so glad to be at the age where you can throw your back out just by existing.
5
48
139
Revenge seems like a lot of work, and I'm not about that life.
6
44
145
I keep a pretty low profile, but mostly because I'm short.
6
54
137
Her: What state do you live in?
Me: Confusion mostly.
3
57
140
My wife opened up a pickle jar by herself the other day, and I've been waiting to get served divorce papers ever since.
5
48
138
My tolerance for pain is a lot higher than my tolerance for bullshit.
5
51
131
Check on your friends and family that have served in the military this weekend. Fireworks can be harder on them than you realize.
10
44
125
Stop thinking it can't get any worse. It can ALWAYS get worse.
9
55
137
Made myself Kraft Macaroni and Cheese™ tonight just so I could stir it and remember what sex sounds like.
15
50
128
Not pulling out is the sexual equivalent of "fuck it, send".
2
54
122
Tried to have a one night stand, but she was a morning person and I wasn't. Anyways, we're married now.
6
36
122
When I was 13 I fell off a roof once, and I just walked it off.
Fast forward 23 years, and I'm bedridden because I reached a little too far for my can of pop.
2
26
125
95% of adulthood is just making shit up as we go along.
5
54
127
My dog just puked. Now I just have to ignore it long enough for my wife to notice it first.
13
46
121
I just remembered I have work tomorrow, and I'm already irrationally angry about it.
6
31
127
Same shit, different....no wait...it's still the same day.
2
65
124
No one prepared me for how many different types of light bulbs there are, and now I get anxiety every time a light bulb blows out in my house.
12
26
121
Quit calling yourself an agent of chaos, you're 50.
11
63
121
You wanna celebrate accomplishments...go to Facebook. We only do shortcomings here.
3
42
112
I'm so tired, I could go to bed right now and lie awake for hours.
7
59
124
Kids today: *falls
Parents today: OMG..are you ok?
Me as a kid: *falls
My parents: Quit fucking around!
9
37
113
I don't need subtle hints, I need detailed fucking instructions.
4
52
118
"Bumbling" is a perfectly acceptable way to go through anything.
2
45
111
I need to figure out how to monetize being awkward and insecure about myself
4
43
120
Remember....no one ever joined Twitter because they were happy.
1
46
110
I'm tired of things falling from the sky and not landing on me.
4
41
111
When I say, "morning" the "fuck this shit" is implied.
2
58
116
Out here dissappointing people like I'm getting paid to do it.
5
60
108
[Me looking at the hot girl walking towards me]
Don't be awkward don't be awkward don't be awkward
Girl: Hi
Me: You too
*Damnit*
4
38
105
Wondering why Jesus kept referring to himself as "Jesus Christ, bitch!" then I realized I had gotten the Rick James version of the bible, not the King James version.
2
50
111
Accidentally hit call instead of text
- a horror story
3
66
110
I hate when I'm 5 minutes late to a tweet and all the good replies are already taken.
5
23
105
She was rare, like a person who actually understands humor on Twitter.
4
44
105
*hits rock bottom
Google Maps: You have arrived at your destination.
4
47
106