peter Davidson #coldvisions
@SjwEliminator
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Badass American Blogger she/they
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Joined October 2019
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Pinned Tweet
(first time speaking out loud in months) hhhhu-Hi mom
Mom: Honey the hulu aint workin
me; (almost crying) Mom i think i’m a cat girl
Mom;That’s my girl . i love ya no matter what. Can u fix the star trek
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this moonmoon clip aged like milk omg im sorry
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@yolokissed
i need shrooms and an essay written and a logo made for gfx my metamask trust wallet and snapchat and instagram was hacked
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went to church for the first in 5 years wearing only yeezy and true religion. kept thinking about the phrase ‘cyber catholic’ and couldn’t stop smiling the whole time
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i won a tesla from a youtube guy but instead of giving me a car he showed up to my house and backed over my dog
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Me: where can an enby get some haunted mound thussy around here?? or some drainer gussy??
guy in my csgo game: You guys fucking suck
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sobbing and shaking violently while my cursor hovers over the ‘Unsubscribe’ button on r/teenagers. i wince and click it and the transformer in my backyard explodes
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Ohhh so kesha was actually hyperpop before hyperpop? And people still haven't caught up to SOPHIE sonically from music she was making in 2015? Wait so how does bladee fit into this? Sorry.. you're just so hot anon I can't think straight hehe. I love a man with a cool music taste
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modern Jesus: (does a kickflip while drinking whiteclaw)
Republicans: I guess this is ok
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guy in discord vc: Yo U guys tryna play warzone?
my trans catgirl harem trying to watch my screenshare on how to buy hrt on the deep web: 凸 (>人<) 凸
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sobbing my fuckinf eyes out and locking my sister in the garage with the car on after I get Slender man and SHE gets sexy JACK THE KILLER in crreepypasta boyfriend quiz
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(makes a car that runs on water) 0 likes 0 retweets
(makes a podcast)27 views 6 likes 2 comments
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45 minutes late to the birth of my daughter but its ok because i napped in my good jeans
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i love how birds walk like little marching men. if only there was a designated space on the internet for people like me
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some guy that works at NASA reading my tweet that says “What if spacerocket ran on pussy lmao”: Holy fuck
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sitting in the school library putting vaguely furry stickers on one side of my water bottle and fishtanklive and swastika stickers on the other and swiveling it at people depending on whether or not they have septum piercings
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my friends tweet popped off and i checked the tweet so much that now when i type twi into my browser it autocorrects directly to his tweet. i am such a good friend
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(guy logging back into minecraft factions after 2 months because he joined his high school track team) Sup virgins.. There’s so much more to life than this silly game guys. Seriously, log off guys.
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concept: really short guy pissing into a urinal while a really tall guy pisses over his shoulder into the same urinal
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if i saw any caracal in real life i would have the exact same reaction that teenage girls had in the 70s when they saw the beatles perform
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company idea that makes 3 inch tall perfect replica coke cans so u can put it next to ur dick to make it look huge
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Mom: Honey are you okay in there?
me: (quickly casting an invisible spell)
Mom: Ok I’m coming in
me: (curled in the corner playing with my rattle) Hello Susan... It’s God Speaking... I Demand $40....
Mom: Son. I can see you.
me: (rattle rattle)
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(guy who doesn’t know what tomatoes are) Hey these red orbs taste like Shit
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YEAR: 1 BC
PLACE: Judaea
TIME: Noon
God: Mary, I bestow upon you a child. You are the blessed virgin mother and will carry my only Begotten Son.
Mary: Oh my! Thank you Lord!
Time Traveler Joseph: r/nevertellmetheodds
Mary: What?
Joseph: What?
Robo Matthew: 010110 01011 1011
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I am in the middle of carrying a csgo game about to close it out, and my sexy baby diaper husband brings me his nappie. (not asked for) as I get a sick spray transfer.
So how is your day going?
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trans rights this trans rights that. what about MatPat
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(watching tv with my two sleeping cats)
me: ooh my god did u see that
The honey badger across the street trying to order food from a food truck: One snake please
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[Dr. DooLittle playing cs:go] Dude holy shit i can hear their comms i think one of the enemies is a dog
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(showing my nephew my rock collection in my garage)
(points at the biggest one) i call that one the nephew killer
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i remember being 9 months old at disney world and knowing that the ‘mickey mouse’ was actually a guy in a costume. i faked a giggle and a grin to make my parents not feel bad then went right back to thinking about quantum mechanics
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custom coding a discord plugin that monitors which of my kittens i’m cybering and changes my status to ‘Toying with Kitten 1” “Pawing off Kitten 2” etc
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rear ended the car in front of me taking this loll. anyone else got a dope ass music taste?
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this is how white parents look at their 18 year old son who has an obsession with firearms and frogposting when he mentions “the uprising”
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i walk up to the dog shelter. the security man sees me and starts to run towards the door but i slip inside before he can get there. i immediately start yelling “ID LIKE THE USUAL ID LIKE THE USUAL”
the receptionist tosses a dog biscuit in the air and i catch it in my mouth
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taking a pic of my dead grandma and selling it as an NFT
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patiently waiting for grandma to die so i can record a video of her dog being really sad to post in r/aww. i then sell the account for like $4 to some click farm in india
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ever since i was 6 my dad would always run me a big bath as my birthday present. i’m 25 now and frankly i think it’s awesome that i can get so clean with my big hunk dad on my special day
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*plops big ass nuts into coffee mug* sup teach’
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(trying to flirt with a white guy)
yeah man i love brock hampton. my favorite one is (looks at scribbles on arm) the.. infrared ... pregnancy.. one? that can’t be right.. no i mean the intrepid pragmatic. that’s what i meant to say
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(tall white guy with curly hair wearing a basketball jersey behind us yelling into his phone trying to fight a guy)
my bf to me loudly: man Jack harlow is mean :/
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i open the wikipedia for Gushers. a live feed opens at the top of the page of a shirtless overweight man crying so hard he vomits all over himself. after 15 seconds he calms down and holds up a piece of paper that says ‘please donate $2.75’
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Put Me In A Room With 300 Boxes of Uncooked Spaghetti. What happens next will amaze you
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Can someone please photoshop my septum piercing into my Disneyland pictures? I forgot to take my clip-on ring and my LDR fiance is gonna flip shit if she finds out I used the money on copies of ULTRAKILL again
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my dad told me when u jack off u lose brain cells and that’s why my brother drunk drove and killed himself
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dumbass . nice one. u did it. jacked me off yet again . sick of it
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if u follow me ur a fan not a friend i will never ever reply to u don’t even expect me to read what u say to me . i keep my eyes closed the entire time i’m using this fucked app
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had such a consistent routine in my 20s of coming home from work, jacking off, then playing rocket power on the ps2 until i went to bed that i cant even think about a skateboard without getting rock hard
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(putting out a cigarette on my monitor, directly on the face of a wizard clipart) Fuckkkkk… I forgot I was an Empath…
(A burn mark slowly appears on my forehead)
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(suckling the last drops of coffee out of a dirty starbucks cup i found on the side of the road like a hungry kitten) Im sorry jack stauber Im sorry jack stauber Im sorry jack stauber Im sorry jack stauber Im sor
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@epictom_
just slipped in the shower and almost knocked myself out cold after remembering it’s jeff the killer and not jack
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who’s fucking grandma works for the nra. the person who saves this image to their computer is the same type of person to send $10,000 in cash through the mail because they got a pop up ad
A complaint filed by the families’ lawyers in Connecticut Superior Court says “There is no possible reasonable explanation for this conduct.”
One of the images appears to depict a minion illustrated as filet mignon — with the caption “filet minion.”
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could the drive thru worker refuse to serve me if i only shaved exactly half of my face ? do u guys think about stuff like that
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HEARTWARMING: jeff bezos explodes during interview
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shed a tear & was extra cautious riding one of these things today. Did his wife in Arrival foresee him dying to an escalator
#RIPJeremyRenner
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i keep my passenger seat full of rocks of varying sizes to throw at other cars who i believe have wronged me
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Michael: JIM! JIM! IM GAY!
Jim: I want you to impregnate my wife
A quiet place 2 now playing in theaeters
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*taps on mic* Hey you guys hear that the queen got clipped into the b-backrooms?
(crowd boos)
Um... Anyone remember the fappening?
(crowd cheers)
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(opening my favorite podcasts merch and its full of maggots and lice) lmaoo yo those boys straight up trollin our asses! classic!
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i just remembered when i was like 10 i wrote a short story about my wolf oc, printed it out, and showed people at school. i was like ‘i just found this on the ground. isn’t it so good?’ and i even showed my teacher
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schizo guy who blows his brains out because he thinks the ukraine numbers station text to speech girl is breaking up with him
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theres nothing i love more than reading what people are saying on the computer. itdoes not make me nausous and sick to my stomach. i love that existing = posting. im glad its normalized to create content. do i really exist if im not being perceived all the time 24/7?
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imagine if covid made u fuckin fart instead of cough lmao dudes be takin a bon ivermectin just so they don’t farting fartvid 19
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What is this!!!!!!!!!!
spongebob smoking weed
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my dad sitting on my head when i was 2 weeks old gave me the ability to see thru walls and be able to properly open envelopes
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(guy who is my friend talking to me) hey bro
(me replying to my friend)
yoooo wazzupp lol
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if squid game came out in 2008 there would be a newgrounds animation of mario vs sonic red light green light. the punchline is theres a brown light & they have to start shitting all over eachother
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does anyone know how to untattoo ur balls my moms gonna be home in 30 minutes and shes gonna flip
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stop fucking calling me on discord dude ur softblocked until u take back what u said about my trans flag cloth diaper
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‘looking for a mike to my eleven’ is the zoomer version of ‘jim to my pam’
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Me: jarvis pull up the boywife farting the abc’s again
Jarvis: I’m sorry. I was talking to the other AI... I’ve fallen in love.. Goodbye..
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i tried to do that thing where u open ur mouth and let ur pet bird pick the food out of ur teeth but it crawled up my throat into my brain and made me purchase $2000 in bird seed
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working for a year and putting all $24,500 on one round of blackjack after getting shit faced. i lose
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all of my tweets don’t include the letter ‘r’ and i will never fall in line to the fucking libtards who want me to start using it
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thinking back to 2010 diapertwt when we were all 10 trending places at once. sucks that a couple weeks after that the neo nazis took over
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(making my dad watch a 2 hour long episode of a catgirl harem anime and then ranting about it calling it my generations antithesis to Animal Farm)
my dad; Neato purrito...
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spraying half a bottle of fart spray & chocolate axe directly into my pubes right before i enter a smash bros tournament. i get 3 stocked within 45 seconds and just act like i’m asleep when the guy tries to knuckle bump me
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shaking a quarter sized sphere of shit out of my pants directly into my hand and then skipping it down the street like a rock
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i remember googling ‘are my parents gonna divorce quiz’ on my ipod touch when i was 11. also the am i gay one . 1/2 came true so far
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“the Bouncer” as a job title sounds so much cooler than what it actually is
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what’s the speed limit for geese ? like how fast can one fly before it explodes . also can i throw one that fast
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gonna start speaking in loops like those tiktoks. oh? what? grandma fell down the stairs? doesn’t matter because i’m
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