Raunaq Rajani
@SirRaunaqRajani
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Chetan bhagats childhood neighbor & his brother from another mother IG:SirRaunaqRajani raunaqrajani @gmail .com
Pussay, France
Joined February 2012
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Pinned Tweet
NEW STAND UP VIDEO. RT for good conscience
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Not a lot of people know this but I grew up in Naraina Vihar, West Delhi right next to Chetan Bhagat’s house and he would criticise his mom all the time to my parents. In fact it was my parents that would try to explain to him that what he’s doing is wrong.
I may fight or find many faults with my mother but I won’t go criticising her in the neighbours house.
I may find a hundred things wrong with my country but I won’t go criticise it publicly on an international stage.
Maybe it’s just me, but some things are just not done.
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Bhaiya kon hai yeh losers? Aap bol do, main ussko maarunga. You know since childhood I get very defensive about you 😤😤😡
Losers falsely claiming to be associated with me and lying to get loser likes lol. How loser like their life must be that they do this for validation.
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Nice IIT degree bro, but I got the job because I listened to Beer Biceps and stopped masturbating.
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‘Another mother’ who has had to hear you complain about your own over the years. But it’s all in the past now bhaiya. Miss u.
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Yes bhaiya. You’re right. My favourite thing to tell my trolls is “deti hai toh de varna kat le”
Trigger the trolls. they act according to plan and give u massive engagement. they get likes too, everyone else gets entertained. win-win-win.
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Will Smith just landed in Bombay today.
Chris Rock will be landing tonight.
They’re invited to Baba Siddique’s Iftaar party
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Imagine how your grandparents (who gave up their youth to fight the British) would feel when they found out your entire personality is Manchester United
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Yes Rahul, we know that the ingredient isn’t sugar. It’s Mirch Masala
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I’m just thinking about that comic In that writers room who suggested the GI Jane joke
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I just want to know that if they ban crypto then what ads will play during cricket matches???
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Chris Rock just got approached for Lock up season 2
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My landlord just asked me "Hows work?" I said "Good" so he increased my rent! Wtf??!!
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I’m not the only one who can’t tell the difference between Aditi Rao Hydari and Kiara Advani right?
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Who said you can’t travel during the pandemic? Our government is taking us straight to North Korea 🥰🥰🥰
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Its so much funnier the second time, when you rewatch the video while only staring at Mr. Mcadams reaction 😂😂😂😂
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The security at Vicky and Katrina’s wedding looks damn familiar 🤔
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Two India’s:
1. Arnab from Times Now
2. Arnab from Republic TV
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Why does Bollywood keep copying Hollywood stories?
Because our best fiction writers unfortunately choose more lucrative jobs like journalism.
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There are a lot of things that are tough about being gay in India.
The toughest thing though- has got to be having Vivek Agnihotri on your side, while you’re fighting for your rights.
NO. Same sex marriage is not an ‘urban elitist’ concept. It’s a human need. Maybe some sarkari elites drafted it who have never travelled in small towns & villages. Or Mumbai locals.
First, same sex marriage is not a concept. It’s a need. It’s a right.
And in a progressive,
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Indians relatives will shame you for dropping science in school and also be mad if you refuse to meet them during a pandemic!
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Is it raining in Mumbai or is Javed Habib standing on my terrace and spitting?
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You guys remember Tryst?
The night club in Lower Parel.
Yeah! It’s a covid ward for South Bombay teenagers now.
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When people say things like “Sharukh is the most humble guy I’ve met” they’re basically saying “if I was as successful as him I’d be spitting on peoples faces, I can’t believe he said hi”
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Tell me you’ve never stepped out of your house without saying you never stepped out of your house
Mumbai is easily the most cleanliest and well planned city in India ❤️❤️
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Just found out Jim Sarbh’s actual name is Jimnasium Sarbh
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My man just invested in India then had to tweet this 😭
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I’m watching the Harry Potter reunion and Hagrid without a beard is weirder than Voldemort with a nose.
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Congratulations Joe Biden and Dragonfruit Harris ❤️❤️❤️🥳
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Me as the Joker-
“You wanna know how I got these scars?
I kept touching my acne as teenager despite everyone telling me not to“
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Dosto! My stand up video Indian superstitions is out! Please RT or face 7 years of bad luck.
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I was extremely tired so I said “main sona chahta hoon”
Suddenly a crypto bro popped out of nowhere and said “but bitcoin is a better investment than gold”
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I dare the Astrologers to stop posting predictions for 2022, but instead repost their predictions of 2021 so we can cross check for efficacy.
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Ok I will become drone
In just 10 years Camera Man and Pilot both lost their jobs.
Upgrade Yourself.
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I didn't download the Arogya Setu app because I'm an Indian stand up comedian... the government already knows my location.
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Mannn I was talking to this woman in the audience at my show on Saturday and she said that she’s a child psychologist so I asked if it’s anything like ‘say Na something with Anupam uncle’ and no one in the crowd got the reference. I’m so mad
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For pregnancy tests Jaya Bachan used Pregasure? Pregaconfident? and PregaLock kar diya jaye?
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The Christmas spirit in Bandra makes me want to change my name to Frederick and buy a house in Goa
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*Me listening to Atif Aslam*
Friend: hey don’t listen to that.
Me: why
Friend: We’re boycotting Pakistani artists.
Me: ok but ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aise jeene main.
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I thought it’s mandir ki ghanti
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In India we don’t say “my parents were incapable of love and empathy” but we say “I had strict parents” and I think that’s beautiful.
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Barack and Michelle came to the White House like they wanted to show their revenge bod to an ex
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Decided to stand outside the lingerie store while my wife went inside so that I don’t look like a creep to the other women.
But now I’m standing alone right outside a la senza looking like a bigger creep
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Growing up is going from
“chhee tum log ganja kaise phoonkte ho” to
“chhee tum log kaisa ganja phoonkte ho??”
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Hot take: being attracted to toxic personalities is a sign of privilege. You’re looking for problems cause you don’t have any.
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I went with my wife to watch the new Taylor Swift movie because boys only want love if it’s torture
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You can tell he’s a psychopath because his show starts at 7:57 and not 8:00
Sharing a few posters of Aman Chopra's debates on Ambani channel
@News18India
in past few months. 🤢🤮
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“Thank you that’s my time! Please keep the applause going and give it up for your next act Shyaam Rangeela.“
-Munawar when leaving jail.
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None of my shows are getting cancelled because this is what my Spotify wrapped looks like this year 🥰
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Does Amazon have an "I want to return this item because I was in a weird place emotionally when I ordered it" option?
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In Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Anushka almost cheats on Shahrukh but Shahrukh is the one conning her by being the man she cheats with so now despite being the one who's cheating... she ends up with trust issues?
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@iAMNArcissist_
@chetan_bhagat
Undoubtedly. There was a certain Pathak aunty on the second floor of the F block and if the ball (while playing cricket) ever went into her house- she would never return it. One day Chetan just sold all his crypto and bought her house to give us back our balls.
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I can’t imagine asking my relatives to sign NDA’s before coming to my wedding.
Indian uncles will be taunting some shit like “Vishwas naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai ki nai?”
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You remember when Hangover 2 just couldn’t recreate the magic from the first film?
Yeah that’s what season 2 of ‘NCB raids Bollywood’ feels like
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The most shocking thing about the Bollywood drug scandal is the unimaginative films despite all the drugs.
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Whenever I see irrelevant people with bodyguards... I'm just like bro Is that your security or your insecurity ?
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I love that Arnab is finally asking the government about the data on migrant worker deaths in the video.
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Twada sadness depression ,
sada sadness ‘cheer up buddy’ ?!
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Have you noticed how the most toxic people put up stories about vibrations, karma, inner peace etc
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The undertaker was the first celebrity to use his platform for cervical cancer awareness 🙏🏻
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I know you think it's a big boom for rap in India but honestly rap music here peaked when Ludacris said "shera di kaum punjabi"
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Thinking about the time when a meme page used a clip from my stand up video with their logo.
So I reuploaded it on my page and then they asked me to credit them ON MY JOKE. 🤗🤗❤️
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Hindu parents will literally allow you to marry a tree before you can marry a Muslim
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A good liar has the reputation of being a bad one. Read that again.
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Once in school, the history teacher asked me a question about Gandhiji’s non violence and non cooperation movement. I got the answer wrong and the teacher beat me up.
This is all you need to know about the Indian education system.
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I saw the One Plus ad, it said: Never Settle
So I bought the iPhone.
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My goal is to be so rich that I can leave a buffet without tasting everything and yet sleep with no regrets.
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People have the weirdest takes on this fucking app 😂😂😂
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This post is only 45 minutes old as of now. If there’s anyone in this area can just have a look at this dog and get him out of here I’ll be indebted to you forever
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@Shailesh_SRP563
@chetan_bhagat
Yes not a lot of people know that most fights he had with his mum were because she never supported his dancing career. In fact he gave Farah Khan her big break
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Only God can save us from these guys who think they’re saving God
Judge: But why you take undue advantage of other’s religious sentiments and emotions. What is wrong with your mindset? How can you do this for the purpose of your business?
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Why people break up abroad: she cheated on me
Why people break up in India: my mummy found out about her
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I don't understand this culture of spending so much money on shoes?!
Mandir ke bahar free mein milta hai!
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Your parents try to discipline you in your childhood because they know that when you grow up this same discipline will help you get a good job and afford therapy.
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My favourite Urdu saying is “Habibi come to Dubaiiiiii”
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Holy shit this sketch is quality content. I laughed SO HARD who are these guys? Please share their channel 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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I think I've seen them both have this conversation in a Wednesday
Anupam Kher on Naseeruddin Shah's statement: There’s so much freedom in the country that you can abuse the army, badmouth the air chief and pelt stones at the soldiers. How much more freedom do you need in a country? He said what he felt like, it doesn’t mean it’s the truth.
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The extreme amounts of privacy at the
#VickyKatrinaWedding
is obviously Katrina’s idea.
I’m sure Vicky isn’t missing any chance to flex how he’s marrying up
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People on Twitter: i can’t believe you’re making memes on the situation in Ukraine.
Meanwhile :
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Couples will engrave their names on historical monuments but never do something as permanent as tell their parents about their relationship.
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Kim Kardashian wearing a torn condom to celebrate that she's pregnant again.
http://t.co/Y680Lo4wPX
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