Dan M ⚒ 🚲
@SirArthurIndeed
Followers
1,172
Following
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Works in a shed, a very nice shed in the country. WHUFC⚒️ B140, European, Pédaleur, EV, Woke af. Pterry, MCU, TLOU, Britpop & indie. Let people enjoy things.
Epping, Essex
Joined June 2011
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Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
One of the best thing about Epping is that it has houses that look like a cartoon duck smiling.
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"I once quoted Kermit the Frog at a conference of global leaders."
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So... I just put on the "Demon 79" ep of Black Mirror and was knocked sideways.
The opening shot is of my late grandparents Alf and Frances' chip shop in Custom House! They lived there until 1981 (when I was eight). Here's me with Dad in 1975 and there's my boy outside in 2016.
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As Enter Sandman is trending, might as well post this again.
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@DanNeidle
This is awkward but I've noticed an error in your report
@BBCNews
.
Where you've put "a Labour-supporting tax lawyer" you should have written "a tax lawyer."
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Johnny Ball is trending.
Just to assure you:
He isn't.
He hasn't.
He isn't.
That's a relief isn't it?
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@paulwaugh
Meanwhile Chris Grayling was sitting in his car trying to find Keith Chegwin's last house on Google Maps.
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@mrjamesob
As a liberal man and secular Jewish person I find it utterly disgusting that the right wing grifters, shills and general bastards that I decry are now "on my side" but in fact just weaponising opinion for their own ends.
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@SoVeryBritish
A friend of a friend genuinely thought that very overweight people were described by doctors as "clinically a beast."
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My father shielded at home for nine months. Then at Christmas he went into hospital for a routine reason, caught covid while there and died within four days.
And now this sentient bollock has the temerity to downplay this disease and use words like cower?
Utterly putrid cunts.
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@Sleazebuster
@theresa_may
If you leave it under your pillow the No Deal Fairy will come at night and replace it with a bright shiny ration book.
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As Return of the Jedi is trending: I still regard the Falcon entering the Death Star's superstructure as one of the best special effects sequences I've seen in a film.
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@JayMitchinson
Let us not forget...
@JMPSimor
He is your PM, the only one you’re likely to have for another decade or so. Get used to it.
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@baratheongirl
@IanDunt
Walkers did indeed have those colours from the start. BUT they replaced Golden Wonder as the market leader and THEY had the C&O: green, S&V: blue packaging which others had followed. Basically Walkers came in like a potato-shaped wrecking ball and changed everything.
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@FootyAccums
If you don't understand why West Ham have said that then yes, perhaps you should.
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Prominent Brexiters: the Remoaners shouldn't gloat if Brexit doesn't work out
Also Prominent Brexiters:
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@GeoffLloyd
If a tweet of mine gets fifteen likes I run round the house, windmilling with my shirt over my head.
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@EmmaKennedy
I hate to be rude about someone I've never met, but it's like an ape wanking into its own shit. He's meant to be the fucking Prime Minister for actual fucks sake.
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Every time Susan Hall can't find the reading glasses that are on the top of her head.
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@DailyMirror
In 1980 the UK Government's Project Square Leg estimated where the Soviet Union would aim their weapons should war break out.
So don't worry everyone, it's not just London that gets shafted.
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@laradelaney
A few years ago I took this photo of my bathroom window from the garden.
Tesco Toilet Cleaner, of course.
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Phew!
Made it!
After a rushed shower and running for the train I've made it into the West End and am *checks watch* two days early for my meeting.
FFS
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@NewRockstars
Floor is the singlemost tragic character in the entire MCU. Genuinely feel upset whenever I see a picture of her.
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It's a little known fact that each year dozens of Donald Trumps are grown in the shade of West Ham's London Stadium.
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When the mask falls it absolutely fucking clangs to the ground doesn't it?
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"This is the perfect time to be playing Everton"
said absolutely no-one who has even the most infinitesimal awareness of West Ham's history and DNA.
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@thomas_violence
It's all quite ridiculous isn't it?
But if it comes with free healthcare and no guns I'LL FUCKING TAKE IT.
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Tony Blackburn is trending.
To save you some time:
He isn't.
He hasn't.
He isn't.
Now on with your day.
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@Baddiel
@ActiveCampaigns
I've got 6,000 years of Jewish heritage behind me and I couldn't influence my kids to brush their teeth and put their shoes on in time for school this morning. Fuck getting the media, government or the World motherfucking Banks to do my bidding.
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@swwchels93
@HowardCCox
@GMB
Fucking hell, thirty miles per hour! Is the whole of the UK downhill now?
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West Ham fans on Twitter this week.
1. No way will they go for Moyes.
2. David fucking Moyes?!? FFS!
3. But if he brings in Stuart Pearce AND he said he wants us to play attacking football...
4. That's it, we're relegated.
5. I liked his press conference. Let's get behind him.
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@markdavyd
@NadineDorries
SPOILER ALERT:
She doesn't care and most likely finds it boring or irritating to be informed. Might actually think it's funny.
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@SkyScottBeasley
Cut them some slack - they lost all their money on frozen concentrate orange juice.
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@Baddiel
Cummings: In February last year Johnson took a shit on a child from a council estate and said "there's your free dinner son" while wiping his arse with £20 notes.
Conservative 47% (+3)
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Cards on the table, I've run my own business for thirteen years, work hard to provide for my family and use the Tube and train for both work and personal journeys.
And I 100% support the striking rail workers.
And postal workers.
And nurses.
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Dear
@itvcycling
,
Please look down the back of the sofa and buy the rights with whatever you find.
Many thanks,
Dan
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