Simone Kolysh, MPH, PhD
@SimoneKolysh
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Agender autistic lesbian (they/them). Author of Everyday Violence (2021). Life coach for neurodivergent, LGBTQ, and marginalized people.
United States
Joined May 2013
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I’ll link the story in comments!
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Women are like: can you believe he supported me when I was in labor for 48 hours? Um, yes, I can, because it’s his child but also can you believe you birthed a human after 48 hours and are giving props to a man who stayed awake? Standards are subterranean.
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Let mothers talk about hating being a mother. Let mothers talk about being trapped by motherhood. Let mothers talk about regret and mental exhaustion and not being cared for by anyone. Let mothers tell their truth so that we all benefit and don’t go into it misinformed. Ffs.
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Academics, share your salaries as an act of solitary. It is important for undergraduate and graduate students to know, because there are a lot of myths about what academics make in a year. I’ll start and follow my format: Sociology - Assistant Prof (TT) - $57k.
#AcademicChatter
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I see academics frustrated that their students are ‘quiet quitting’ and I’m going to remind you all that at the end of the day, actually caring for students and being honest and building rapport and acknowledging how hard life is for everyone is going to be the ONLY way forward.
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Just learned that 2/3 of doctorates go to women but only 1/3 of academic jobs go to women. Can’t be collegiate with men in a system like that. Don’t even get me started on race.
#AcademicTwitter
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Oh and none of the above means we don’t love our children. Let mothers be complicated. End rant.
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There is something wrong with higher ed if my student feels the need to apologize for a death in the family and ask for an extension on an assignment due tomorrow at noon. Her ask: push it to midnight. I said she can hand it in whenever she likes and offered condolences.
#SocAf
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Time for another revealing thread: how long did your PhD take (name discipline and country of PhD)? What did you major in in college? What happened between college and your PhD program?
#AcademicTwitter
#AcademicChatter
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A convo I just had with a stranger woman who saw the baby outside:
Her: hi! Is that a boy or a girl?
Me: why do you want to know?
Her: just wanna say Merry Christmas
Me: so say it
Her: no.
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@Clare_Brock
Im not saying it’s not hard. I’m saying it is to be expected, period. No need to center them.
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Sometimes, work-life balance looks like quitting academia. Let’s celebrate that.
#AcademicTwitter
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@mike_schaid
How is this thread misleading? Everyone is sharing information willingly and these are their real salaries. If there are not many R1 folks sharing, that’s on them, and they know they make far more than everyone else. What is your salary?
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@ashleyscastro
It’s not the competition that’s a problem, because that’s made up by the powers that be, like there should be more openings if schools churn out phds but also the pay is a choice, it is a deliberate form of exploitation
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#AcademicTwitter
, a note from a colleague at UNC regarding the new ever more fascist state of things
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So they both exercised control over their bodies, good.
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I am Russian-Armenian and a child of war and ethnic conflict. When my home was threatened by military violence, my parents grabbed us and ran. We were refugees to Russia. Others in Ukraine, Germany, Israel. My first child is half-Ukrainian and I visited the country. 1/2
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@Sen_Pia_Bisakha
I don’t think enough people understand how ridiculous this soft money situation is, where people have to figure out how to pay their own salaries
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I tweeted this on zero sleep and with mistakes and it went somewhat viral. I’ll be doing this every month and in a more fleshed out manner. More people need to see this over and over.
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Omg, there are so many useless husbands married to my beautiful and brilliant friends and I just can’t wait until they get to a stable point and throw them out.
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Watching
#TheRipper
and am disgusted as usual by widespread hatred of sex workers and people really being mad about the ripper killing an innocent 16-year old as if sex workers aren’t innocent. The reason killers target sex workers is you thinking sex work is indecent.
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@mccanner
@MikeRTrice
The amount of times I want a cis man’s opinion on breastfeeding is less than zero.
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@Dreamescape88
@GeeksOfColor
I hate that he’s like hmm hmm but he doesn’t feel remorse, he’s not giving her money. She’s still raising him.
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Listen,
#AcademicTwitter
, I don’t think a PhD should be required to teach college students. So many of those with a PhD are TERRIBLE at teaching, hate students, etc. Besides, most if not all grad schools are not teaching grad students HOW TO TEACH. Let folks w/o a PhD do it more.
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Academics, can you stop with the ‘now that the election is behind us and we can get back to work’ emails? Some of us are still processing our trauma and some of us can’t breathe out for months and can we maybe think about giving people a break?
#AcademicChatter
#phdchat
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Okay, white women academics, once again, identities aren’t intersectional, they intersect and these intersections can be analyzed. Intersectionality is a lens, a framework, a theory, an explanation. It’s not an adjective for identities. Please read the correct materials.
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Your assessment and metrics and playing catch with surveillance is not learning and never will be. Professionalism and respectability politics is not learning and never will be. You just can’t force pedagogy. And students aren’t well mentally or physically. They are done.
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A non-tt job to teach a 4-4 load that pays $35,000 to a candidate that’s to have a PhD. Subject matter: Women’s & Gender Studies. Embarrassing. The IRONY. The gall.
#AcademicTwitter
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Remember that interview with academia dot edu? I got the job! I’ll be making some instructional videos on how to survive in grad school and how to teach well online. Along with videos, I’d like to share resources so link below some that have helped you.
#AcademicTwitter
#SocAf
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It’s late, but I’m 40 and my wife gave me flowers, 💖
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@SankofaBrown
I woke up to this news and thought oh god the Hillary/rbg/Wonder Woman crowd is going to be insufferable tonight. And, yes, I realize how much more fleshed out the fascism is about to get.
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People don’t like that grad students share how miserable they are. It’s like they think this is whining or a personal issue so let me clear it up: people don’t come in miserable, they are made miserable by systemic failure and burst bubbles. The misery is there. They enter it.
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And when folks are done, none of the supposed facets of academia matter to them. What matters is WHY get up in the morning, why listen to any of us as professors and why go on with their education. Start radically shifting how you connect to your students. Now.
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No, this won’t endear you to your institutions and but they don’t care about you or their students. You can either have real human engagement and real learning or you can have academia with a capital A. But you can’t have both.
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Guess who’s got their book now?
#AcademicTwitter
#SociologyTwitter
#SocAf
#EverydayViolence
#LGBTQwork
#LesbianAuthors
#AgenderAuthors
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So remember how my grandma died of COVID? Mom buried her yesterday and said they gave her $9k towards expenses and said it’s because she died of COVID. Since we had the plot already paid for, the funeral then only cost $300. This is in Brooklyn, NYC. Share, may help someone.
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@anthoknees
If you don’t want feminism, why must feminism make room for you? I mean, as the queen of feminism, I make space for her anyway, but that’s because I’m a better person.
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Today, a student wrote, "I am starting to see that white people did not accomplish what a lot of people think they did." I am content.
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People are acting like they care about violence and assault. Let me tell you, and I wrote a book on everyday violence, the LIES. The LIES. Let me tell you one thing else: defining ONLY physical smacks as violence + not verbal smacks (that drip drip drip) is a problem.
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Everyone. Everyone is the answer.
You know who deserves to have their student loans forgiven? NURSES.
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Me: oh, are you vaccinated?
Them: I don’t have to answer that.
Me: So no, got it.
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@ashleyscastro
Maybe I should say it’s not the only problem, but anyway they are both orchestrated so that somehow just a few people ‘get in and stay in,’ but most are exploited and paid nothing
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We are transgender, not transgendered. You are cisgender, not cisgendered. Get it together.
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White people always set up a false dichotomy where they act like marginalized folks are NOT qualified for a job when the employer is making an effort to diversify. Newsflash: marginalized people by definition are MORE qualified because they deal with oppression yet excel.
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I don’t talk about this a lot and I don’t feel safe a lot, but I’m working on it. I mention it today, because I have to. I just have to. For some perspective. For my children. For those children. ❤️
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Been thinking that there are some forms of grief that cannot be healed in this lifetime and there is nothing to be done
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Welcome to the world, my Black and Brown child. The world is being set on fire so that you may have a future. Let it burn.
#academicmama
#blacklivesmatter
#acab
#letitburn
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I’ll talk more about the last two years come Thursday and will unprivate all accounts. For now, lmk if there are any remote opportunities for classes or part time jobs or speaking opps. The relief I feel despite uncertainty is unparalleled. Thank you all for supporting me.
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I am feeling deflated after just teaching a lecture on LGBTQ+ identities in my Principles of Sociology course. As soon as I put up the acronym in the chat, multiple students abruptly left the class and more continued to leave as I went through the lecture. 1/3
#AcademicChatter
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@BikalpaN
@cdisalvo
You know as well as we do that these won’t be applied as checks on white men and others in power who should be fired in the first place but are protected by the institution. You know as well as we do this will be used to punish people who upset conservatives on days ending in y.
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I was awarded the APA early career researcher award from Division 35 which I will use to pay several participants who are doing 2-3 interviews with me and to buy the MANY books I need for this research on reproductive journeys of trans and non-binary people!
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Now that I’m fired and free, let me whistleblow your stories. Share whatever you want me to tweet in dms and I’ll tweet it exactly as you wish. You can be anonymous, you can name ur schools or not, I’ll tweet what you say and it can help you and others.
#AcademicTwitter
#phdVoice
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@GinaElysia
Definitely worth a think-over. Prior to my PhD, I had a full time job in public health and I made the same salary that I do now with a PHD.
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Me, to my 11-year-old: hey, look, you are in my acknowledgments for my book!
11-year-old: no one ever reads the acknowledgments.
#academicmama
#alwaysapleasure
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Apparently, I have more to say. There are children today who are running and may never see their home again. I never did. I never went back to Azerbaijan. I never visited and I don’t know if I ever could. Just be mindful, be informed, be more human than less rn.
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The trauma of something like this is deep, is life-changing, is life-long. One moment you’re playing with a doll in a wedding dress and the next thing, you are picked up, the doll falls and life is never ever the same or feels safe. I was 5. I am 38 now.
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A whole assistant professor at mercy college is having a tantrum about how she ‘doesn’t want to be lectured and spoken to as a child,’ because I said ‘use Black people, not Blacks.’ Imagine today of all days to die on your hill of white fragility and get blocked.
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I chose to cut my lecture short today because as an educator, I wanted to give my students an anchor and some information but as a person, I wanted them to know it’s okay to not be okay right now, whether connected to these countries or not.
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I’m 37 and recently self-diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) and I want to write a thread about it, because I know it is undiagnosed in a lot of people and especially in academics. Read on.
#AcademicTwitter
#MentalHealthAwareness
#OCPD
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I really could do without all your ‘we hire for quality not diversity’ arguments because there is NO WAY the 5 Jennifers in HR are at the top of their game. Plus, it REALLY shows your racism and other -isms to insinuate that diverse candidates aren’t quality.
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Ok so, my monogamous folks, it’s not confusing that some of us have wives and others have nesting people and then we have partners outside the home and that we also date people. All you need to know is no one i just described is sleeping with you. Simple.
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@lhfang
You know what else is weird? How cops ALSO molest and rape in addition to being generally corrupt and killing folks for no reason and w/o punishment
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Ok,
#academictwitter
and social science folks: give me written and research assignments that aren’t quizzes or research papers.
#socaf
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When it rains, it pours. My wife has COVID and is self-isolating. Please suggest at home remedies that helped you through it. Or just any advice is appreciated. On the job front, I am applying to a few so will keep accnt and stories private for now. But dms open.
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@SainiTawanda
If you are what mainstream society is, then I’m super glad I’m a feminist, because I want NOTHING to do with someone like you. BTW, I’m beautiful and you could never.
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Not a lot of people realize that if they didn’t need their jobs to survive, they’d actually rebel against how they are mistreated constantly and would see their inner selves rise up to defend them against trauma. Capitalism has flatlined us. Often literally.
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If institutions are serious about recruiting Black people, they need to state so in recruitment calls, but HR would then protest, because their ‘policies’ don’t allow for it and so it goes, year in and year out. But have you ever considered HR is a weapon of white supremacy?
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@_ali_taylor
@phazelic
Nah. Small talk benefits neurotypicals so this purpose doesn’t benefit me. As for folks being vulnerable, that’s subjective of course, but we need boundary work so that folks don’t do that to us. That’s also OUR work.
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My teen asked about molly, ecstasy, and acid trips ‘cause his friends are getting high. I provided resources, talked about my past use and some harm reduction. He thanked me in the end, saying he just wanted to know more info and honestly, just talk frankly w them.
#AcademicMama
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Since checking in with all of you who have OCD here, I upped my dose of Zoloft from 50 to 75mg, spoke to my doctor, will up it to 100mg next week, and I started therapy for my OCD. My life has literally changed for the better quite immediately so THANK YOU!
#AcademicMentalHealth
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@daddyrheeIG
Thinking we shouldn’t hurt our kids is half the reason we do as mothers. We hurt them by staying with their fathers, we hurt them by project our self-hating ways, we hurt them by not being honest. I’m always honest with my kids and that’s something not many can count on.
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@Drawn2Intellect
I first started learning about race because my parents’ racist ideas and my own ideas about my friends of color did not align. I then learned more about poc experiences with racism. In college and grad school, I learned more, because I have to take out my own trash.
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Someone said if you are 30 or older, duet this on TikTok and show the younger generation what it means to age gracefully and I beg you to understand that 30 is not old or even middle age.
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Please center people’s lived experience rn, then information coming in (but not from the side of the oppressors, which include Putin and Biden), and then take care of your self, your spirit, and body. No one is supposed to be able to handle this.
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Lol, sociology always worries they are losing members. Hi, it cost me $300 to join this year and attend a VIRTUAL conference that should be free. And I’m faculty now. What do you think of grad students and undergrads’ ability to ‘participate’? 🙃
#ASA2021
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I got the Academic Innovation Grant from my college to conduct a training on intersectionality and create ten videos on different forms of oppression that any faculty or staff member can view and use in their classroom!
#AcademicTwitter
#SocAf
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After some deliberation, I decided I’m okay with straight people as long as they don’t shove it down my throat and and are not flamboyant about it. I just feel like they are everywhere and they can keep their sex lives private.
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My book is up on the
@RutgersUPress
website! I suppose you can go ahead and pre-order and I'll go ask about discount codes!
#AcademicTwitter
#SocAf
#AcademicMama
#EverydayViolence
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Someone just advised new teachers to find happy +perky colleagues and avoid ‘the other ones.’ As one of the others ones, let me assure you it’s terrible advice. You’ll be laughing through your racism, homophobia, ableism together, yay! Education is hard work, it’s not Instagram.
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#academictwitter
, listen up, help demystify the job market further. Tell me how many publications you had at the time of your first tenure-track offer plus discipline and location. I’ll start: one solo article, one solo book chapter, some book reviews. Sociology, US.
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Or academia can pay us. LOL.
Every professor should have a side hustle that generates income. Our skills are so valuable and in many ways command more 💰 outside of academia.
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I am still horrified by that one time a student was raped and nobody cared to give her any slacks. I told her to hand nothing in for the rest of the semester and gave her an A+, because she deserved it and so much more. She’s nearly done with her PhD now and I’m still angry.
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@katiedimartin
See this is why I don’t gently say anything. They don’t deserve our politeness
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Another lesson I keep learning over and over (within academia + beyond) is that people are NEVER as radical as they say they are, never as brave, never as willing to disrupt systems. Somehow, much of it ends up being exactly the meat and potatoes of the systems.
#AcademicTwitter
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Let me tell you, the deeper I get into academia, the further I want anything to do with anyone at an R1 or their ideas of success.
#academictwitter
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@Nikky15
Right now the balance is against mothers. Mothers are ashamed to discuss any of it. They live and die by the awful expectations of them.
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