Simon Maloy
@SimonMaloy
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Senior writer, @mmfa. You've also seen me in @TheWeek, @RollingStone, @Salon, @TheProspect -- tweets are my own etc. [email protected] 202-772-0102
Just outside the Beltway
Joined November 2010
weird how the president's signature hat became the racism uniform.
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ironically this has become a lesson in being publicly owned
Dear Libtards who think Facebook is a privately owned business,. There's a thing called fact-checking. Facebook is a public business that's publicly traded. Using that argument to justify banning Alex Jones doesn't work
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[enters Senate]. this is wrong. [takes seat]. should have been hearings!. [votes aye]. a shame. [leaves for fundraiser]. just awful.
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TWITTER: something just isn't clicking here.HORDE OF RACIST EGGS: [cacophony of immoral filth].TWITTER: eliminate the looping video service.
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imagine being so shitty a person that you make a meme of yourself calling refugees cowards
It's not uncompassionate to ask who they are sending over here. It's wise and necessary. #teamTomi #SyrianRefugees
http://t.co/jdKdIpHm1X.
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just imagine, an accused sexual predator in the White House. the White House!. where the president lives!
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it's a shame @daveweigel made a major error like one misleading tweet and not something minor like repeatedly lying about the president's birthplace for half a decade.
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my god imagine being forcibly separated from your family. style eatery
Last night I was told by the owner of Red Hen in Lexington, VA to leave because I work for @POTUS and I politely left. Her actions say far more about her than about me. I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so.
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yeah what kind of asshole runs cover for someone accused of rampant sexual assault
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lock her up.lock her up.lock her up.lock her up.lock her up.lock her up.lock herrrrrrdue process.due process.due process.due process.due process.due process.due process.due process.
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Trump Fans DESTROY Company By Giving It Money
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pause for a moment to reflect upon what one Sean Hannity might do with news that an MSNBC personality had hidden a relationship with a Clinton attorney under criminal investigation.
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all I did was make an unsolicited cash offer just to talk with m'lady and suddenly I'm the creep wtf
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we need to pause for a moment to appreciate the absurdity of the First Lady going on a humanitarian fact-finding trip to witness abuses ordered by her husband
.@kwelkernbc on @FLOTUS at the border: This is something that has touched her personally as a mother. This is her first extensive trip â not just as political ambassador but to do damage control.
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gotta be weird for the NRA comms team to have a PR crisis that doesn't involve dead children.
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the Moore campaign's closing pitch is that Roy. a) didn't pay to have sex with kids in Vietnam one time.b) knows Jews.
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like a week ago you were angrily shitposting about the lack of flags in a Neil Armstrong movie
We should ALL,the Dems,the GOP,the media,admit our role in turning politics into theatre. Being outrageous equals clicks,viewers & therefore ratings & $ for media & fame for politicians. Being normal gets you ignored & a primary challenger for being âtoo weakâ.
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have you been in a traffic accident?. injured on the job?. do you have an annuity or other structured settlement?
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hey man the 8 pm host on your network promotes white nationalism, the 9 pm host does Democratic murder conspiracy theories, and the 10 pm host says migrant child prisons are like summer camp and mocks school shooting survivors. just FYI!
To a large degree, Twitter has become a toxic cesspool of anger, hatred and intolerance. It brings out the absolute worst in people, and is rapidly leading to the decline of civility.
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thank you for this bold retroactive leadership
The controversies surrounding the former administrator of @EPA had become a major impediment & necessitated a leadership change. I am hopeful that under new leadership the agency will be in a better position to carry out the important work of protecting our natural environment.
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in the last year or so, arguably the three most powerful men in entertainment, TV news, and politics were outed as serial sexual predators.
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does Taylor Swift's tower have her name on it
NRSC press release: "If you havenât heard, multimillionaire pop star Taylor Swift came down from her ivory tower to tell hardworking Tennesseans to vote for Phil Bredesen.".
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carrying the one is how you make math work
I call him, âBernie carry the 1â because like any socialist, his math never makes sense. Final Thoughts:
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the thing to remember about people like Matt Lauer and Mark Halperin is that the supposedly giant voids they left were illusory and quickly, easily filled or forgotten.
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how many more times can he say it before he figures it out
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Megyn Kelly lounging on a gargantuan pile of NBC's money idly musing about how journalism is broken.
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I demand Congress press Alex Jones relentlessly on how it's possible that he is 44 years old.
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sorry libs, but the president is too fucking stupid to be racist
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this is fucking wild . the Trump administration is arguing that climate change is both real and will be catastrophic -- so catastrophic that we may as well just go ahead and loosen fuel efficiency standards because we're already dead
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tremendous timing for Trump to tweet "where's a crime? Show me a crime" and then two hours later his ex-lawyer tosses another crime onto the crime pile.
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you won't find a better summation of the Obama-Trump transition than a nuclear physicist being replaced by a Dancing With The Stars washout.
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WAITER: fresh-ground pepper?. DAVID BROOKS: [to no one] THIS IS NORMAL. HE IS ASKING IF WE WOULD LIKE PEPPER, A SPICE, ON OUR FOOD.
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fantasizing about being a Nazi to own the libs
Can you imagine if we threw Soros in prison and seized his assets as an enemy of the United States tomorrow? What would the Democrats do?.
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more than anything I want to hear Trump explain World War I.
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pretty wild how the scandals Trumpworld and its crazy supporters threw at Hillary -- charity abuse, nuclear power graft, child sex ring coverup -- are coming to life inside the Trump administration.
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my mentions are full of "uhhhhh sorry lib but Nazi means national SOCIALIST". those folks might want to read about what happened to the Nazis who were way into the "socialist" part of national socialism!. okay I'll spoil the surprise they were murdered by Hitler.
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wow delaying a court nomination until after an election can you imagine
Requiring an FBI investigation of a 36 year old allegation (without specific references to time or location) before Professor Ford will appear before the Judiciary Committee is not about finding the truth, but delaying the process till after the midterm elections.
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just sitting here thinking about the several years Republicans spent attacking one specific president for "alienating our allies" and "emboldening our enemies".
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if we accept the need for pundit panels to exist then perhaps we can imagine populating them with actual experts
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this smug dismissal of my worldview has incentivized me to join a South American Marxist guerrilla force
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this all ends with Roseanne becoming secretary of agriculture.
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Trump's approval/disapproval among black respondents in the new ABC News poll is 3/93.
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AOC: journalism should do more to promote diversity. TRUMP: reporters are criminals because they don't say good about me. JOTLINE HOSH: these. these are the same
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two weeks since election day and the new president has.1) agreed to an eight-figure fraud settlement.2) admitted to breaking non-profit laws.
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folks. Scott Pruitt wasting taxpayer funds to get his dry, cracked hands on fancy lotions is a straightforward violation of. of. the emollients clause thank you.
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get a load of this grotesque creep picking a Twitter fight from behind the corpse of a soldier he sent to die
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sexual predator who ran an openly bigoted campaign is a threat to win the presidency. gotta write it out to grasp how big a fuck-up this is.
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there is literally one thing lamer than squeaking "debate me coward" and it's squeaking "debate someone else coward I'll moderate"
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please don't taint with politics the legacy of a man who [checks notes] was shot for trying to secure rights for a disenfranchised minority
OPINION: Please stop politicizing Martin Luther King Day. It's a day for national unity, not political division
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go ahead and make Jared the "find out if white people are being discriminated against at colleges" czar so we can just die already.
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even if you swallow this bullshit about Robert E. Lee being anti-slavery, then how is "he only joined the pro-slavery terrorist revolt because he valued loyalty to his pro-slavery state" redemptive and not a massive, fatal character flaw
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as far as own goals go, "make a red-state senator AG who then recuses himself from Russia inquiries and opens up the path to a special counsel while the whacko child molester nominated to replace him suffers a historic defeat" is pretty satisfying.
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thank you governor for this extremely solemn bitmoji
And none of this staying in the locker room either. STAND UP. Be honorable. Show respect. Itâs a simple ask compared to what our service members sacrifice EVERY SINGLE DAY for us. đşđ¸
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folks, I'm sorry, I should have taken this scholarly mind more seriously
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SEVERAL CABINET SECRETARIES AND ALSO THE PRESIDENT: hey, we're openly corrupt, just over here stealing a bunch of stuff for ourselves and our friends!. DEMOCRATS: [several hours pass] are any of those friends Russian.
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weird to think that if one Clinton cabinet secretary had taken a private jet we'd be on the fifth or sixth Maureen Dowd column already.
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I am on the first page of Charlie Kirk's new book and already I'm shaking my damn head
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get a load of Malcolm X over here
If you want to be the leader of a movement, you have to open yourself up for criticism and challenge. Lord knows I take my fair share of attacks and Iâm okay with that. Itâs what we signed up for. Buck up.
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if Barney Sanders is do socialism, why come also does book.
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oh, right, that insane thing from like 16 insane things ago
Just in: In court filing, Justice Department says no evidence Trump Tower was wiretapped as POTUS claimed.
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[comes across roaring house fire]. holy crap. [squints]. those gutters aren't to code
Very troubling indeed that he leaked confidential communications as FBI director
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PSA: I'm relentlessly on Twitter until further notice. I'll use it for only for self-owns and for things I want to say with literally zero forethought. I'll use it as my only source for information. I'm going to read the fuck out of my mentions. I'm going to waste my life here.
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my son Clamp, age of three, just glanced up from his Herodotus and said "papa, the special counsel has but one mandate: the restoration of national honor, and as such it cannot overstep". wow, such innocent truth, plz RT.
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I don't mean to belabor this comparison but these are literally tips for managing toddlers
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such a wild coincidence that Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort, two of the most hilariously and flamboyantly corrupt people on earth, were tight pals with the president of the United States.
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what exactly is the opportunity
Decades-old allegations against Kavanaugh come out just days before a vote. victim or opportunist?.
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"dunk on Charlie Kirk" is an agenda item that can and will unite the left
a) The alt-right doesnât seem to understand the concept of magazine shoots. b) You donât get to keep the clothes, duh. c) I donât âpretendâ to fight for a Living Wage & Medicare for All. I do it. d) Get used to me slaying lewks because I am an excellent thrift shopper
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needless cruelty in the service of stoking racial grievance is the Trump admin's only consistent feature
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Scott Pruitt jamming his pockets with EPA cafeteria mayo packets.
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family noticed something about these Christmas candies. right side up: snowman. upside down: Edgar Allen Poe
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that sure is how Twitter works
Ted Cruzâs staff says someone posted a pornographic video to his Twitter account, which showed that it liked it.
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sorry you dumb libs, but the AR in AR-15 stands for "a revolver," the type of gun it is. and the 15 is a misprint; it was supposed to be 51 in honor of the Guam statehood movement, but six guns had already been made when they caught the typo so there was nothing they could do.
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that's the $32 million question
Gallup poll says that half of Americans think U.S. moral values are âpoorâ and getting worse. Hereâs the question: what are our moral values?.
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a Florida senator who a lot of people wanted to be president is alleging voter fraud with absolutely zero evidence because a recount is happening. and no one really even notices how insane that is because the baseline of GOP politics is so fucking sleazy.
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in retrospect, the "war on Christmas" was one of the loudest and clearest warnings of how toxically stupid politics would become
We finally have a leader unafraid to boldly proclaim those two simple, beautiful words âMerry Christmasâ
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come on man that's just 1/6th of a sexual harassment settlement
The Burger King spot featuring deceased Andy Warhol was terrible. And it cost 5 million dollars. More of that and I might go socialist.
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In Denver Holocaust, Echoes of a Fractious Political Divide
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sir, this is rude and disrespectful; I have a Ph.D in guns and would appreciate it if you referred to me as Dr. Guns
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it's straight hilarious how in Trumpworld the most valued commodity is loyalty and also how literally everything is powered by relentless mistrust
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CONSERVATIVE PUNDIT: I'm sorry but any argument for gun control must be weighed against late 17th century English common law precedents that estab--. TEEN: [on Twitter] I don't wanna die binch. [sustained public hootin and hollerin]. CONSERVATIVE PUNDIT: this is preposterous.
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sure working in media pays dirt and you're constantly under threat of being laid off by three private equity guys named Chet, but at least you also get called elitist lying criminals by the party in power.
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people don't know this but the MS in MS-13 stands for Maximum Socialism and the 13 means they want to multiply maximum socialism by 13.
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"matt schlapp" is the sound made by two pork chops falling onto a linoleum floor.
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CNN's new political editor has worked for every Republican but hasn't done any journalism
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