weird fish
@Sick_Sage
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Question Everything. Travel Light. Don’t Freeze.
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Joined August 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. . . And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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Babysitting toddlers is basically preventing them from killing themselves and destroying the world.
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I strongly believe in budgeting. I never stick to any of my budgets, but they know I strongly believe in them.
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You can run, you can hide, but your Indian parents will prevail and you’ll end up being a doctor.
That moment you realise dr lapham from bird box is jess from bend it like beckham😂
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Eba is the perfect swallow. Smoothness layered over roughness. Consistent. Plenty nooks and crannies so the soup enters it and mixes well. Minimal smell. Mild taste so it doesn't interfere with the taste of the soup. Easy to make. 10/10.
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Lmao do you realize how ridiculous it is for the Dothraki and the Unsullied to lose their queen, say “ah well that’s life I guess” and just bounce?
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I spend 2 hours laying in bed wondering if I really want to eat or I should just starve, then I end up heating up rice. What about that makes you think I want to be responsible for another person’s existence? I don’t even want to be responsible for mine.
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The reactions to this Adele divorce thing remind me that celebrities aren’t really people to us. They’re items to be consumed and discarded when we’ve wrung them dry.
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Was recommending bojack to a babe and I told her I loved how the show explored intergenerational trauma and how it leads to a life of self-loathing and questionable decisions. She said “and this is a character you relate to”? I just sabi say I don fuck up.
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Having to choose your career in SS1 was really too much pressure.
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If they release it before birth enemies can spoil the pregnancy
Why do Nigerians like to release the pregnancy pictures AFTER the baby has been born?
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Don't pay people surprise visits. What if they just wanted to sleep, but now they have to host you. But no, you only think of yourself.
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I like being a part of social circles, but on the fringe. Friendly enough with everyone to partake in shared joy and proffer help but not being entangled with the messiness of their personal lives.
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I like how the seat belt alarm gets tired and stops beeping after a while like "okay if you want to die die"
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Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass...
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Zuckerberg read your monopoly tweets and said “I’ll be back in a giphy”
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Twitter used to be so nice. People would come on in the morning and greet everybody, people would announce new avis and get compliments..
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Worst friends are those who take subtle jabs at your dreams and aspirations, lowkey belittling you and making you doubt yourself
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"if you like dey there"
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Meeting your partner on social media is as valid as meeting them at the bus stop. Don't let ignorance stop you from finding true love.
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Anyhow man. You can chew the raw indomie and drink hot water, as long as belle full
Yo quick question.
Is the water supposed to boil before you put the indomie inside?
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I think the point being made is that she’s tired of being sexually objectified, and likes that she’s being seen as a person outside of her sexual desirability. Not that she automatically disrespects anyone who finds her sexually desirable. Seems like a valid concern.
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People on social media never think they’re the people on social media that people complain about.
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Nigerian version of "make hay while the sun shines" is "iron your clothes immediately nepa brings light"
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People who say “false rape accusations make it harder to prosecute real ones” seem not to realize what they’re admitting. What does it say about systemic bias and false equivalence that a fringe false positive occurrence can nullify hundreds of true positive occurrences?
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I can’t think of a single scenario in my life where overthinking has made things better. But has that stopped me from doing it? Of course not.
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For Nigerians the amount of meat you put in their food is directly proportional to the respect you have for them.
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My barber just accosted me on my street and said "no be my side you cut this hair". See me stammering explanations.
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It’s funny to me when people who run one-man businesses use “we” on their official accounts. Only you, legion.
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Only thing getting in the way of me and my fitness goals is rice. And bread. And eba. And pasta. And alcohol. And a slowing metabolism. And lack of self-discipline. And....
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Arresting women for “indecent dressing”, labeling them as prostitutes, and sexually assaulting them is gendered. It doesn’t mean other forms of systemic discrimination don’t exist.
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Not planning to have kids definitely helps ease the pressure of feeling like you have to have things figured out at a certain age. Knowing you’re really only responsible for yourself and if worst comes to worst you’ll just die >>>>
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Twitter has helped my growth, a lot. Some times from active criticism, other times by watching other people engage. If a large part of our interactions are now online then we shouldn't downplay the importance of the discussions that can be had here.
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I went through a lot as a child, but nothing prepared me for adults using their star signs as excuses for obviously problematic behavior.
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Because the use of "God" in conversation is cultural. Do you think people who say "oh my God" while fucking are worshipping God for helping them fornicate?
A self proclaimed atheist thanking God for being atheist. I doubt you'll see anything more ridiculous today.
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I get secondhand embarrassment so bad I pause movies when characters are being ridiculous and I just Google to know how they end. Or I skip by 5 minutes.
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Lmao why is quantum physics always used as some proof of intelligence? Who is regularly discussing quantum physics as small talk?
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Only selfish bastards say things like "you don't owe anyone anything". The least you owe people invested in your life is basic decency.
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I never understand when people say "I'm not homophobic but I don't accept it". Accept it as what? Your personal Lord and saviour?
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Nigerians really think suffering is proof that you're not lazy. That's why things like washing machines seem like luxuries.
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Nigerian men who'd nearly kill a gay man if they woke up to him groping them suddenly think if you sleep next to a person it's consent.
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Did 10 sit ups and now I'm eating pounded yam and egusi with gulder. Because life is about balance.
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Comedians get to be hypersensitive about having their art criticized, while accusing everyone else of being hypersensitive for not liking their art. Win win if you ask me.
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People who brag about not reading fiction are weird to me. "hey look at me I don't have the imagination required to enjoy a well-told story haha I'm special".
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If your objection to sex work is based on religious morality, that’s valid. The problem is when religious people think their religion is transcendent and should govern the lives of people who don’t ascribe to that religion.
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He has lyrics where he promises material reward for intimacy, so it seems his primary contention with transactional sex is women expecting/demanding payment. He also seems to think sexual objectification in the context of sex work equals objectification of women everywhere.
Falz on being accused of slut-shaming.
"I hate transactional sex."
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Twitter is funny. One moment you're reading a thread on gender discrimination, next thing you're watching porn.
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Lmao Nigerian songs kill me. Calm sounding song starts. Very first lyric: “baby this your nyash na shitor”
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Guys, my friend, a proper Anambra man, just opened a site where you can buy original spare parts. Please check them out mrparts.ng
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How I sleep knowing nobody will try to play an April Fool's prank on me because I don't have any friends or loved ones
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“Separating art from artist” is for when Burna Boy starts to tweet nonsense and you just unlook.
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Sex is weaponised against women. Words like "slut" are used as tools of this weaponisation. If it's commonized then it loses it's pejorative value. If everyone is a slut then no one is a slut. I don't think this is hard to understand.
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Saying that a dress “leaves little to the imagination” is funny to me because why are you going around imagining people’s bodies under their clothes? Calm down bros.
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Unnecessarily contributing to traffic and global warming. Smfh irresponsible.
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Cersei isn’t smart. “Smartest” thing she did was using wildfire on the great sept to kill her enemies, and even that problem was self-inflicted. But what she lacks in brilliance she makes up for in intensity and cruelty. Passion merchant.
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So all of us will now enter the covenant and do what? Group chat?
For everybody you've had sex with, you've entered into a covenant with them.
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I see your attempt to disgrace me and I raise you my lack of shame.
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When Nigerians living in Nigeria are discussing prices in naira, converting to foreign currency to downplay the cost is stupid, and shows your ignorance of basic economics. Stop it.
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Going to the club this weekend to look at the faces of the people who have the audacity to turn up in this present economic situation
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Don’t hide anyone’s glasses abeg. Impaired vision is a disability, not a joke.
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When They See Us being the inspiration for all this talk about false rape accusations is weird because someone was actually raped in it. It’s about systemic racism.
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Actually the whole theme of my life is enjoying things/people without feeling the need to possess them permanently. I wonder what that means.
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Me: Reach out to people, no man is an island
Also Me: You don't have strength abeg, we all came to this world alone
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Lots of guys who'll treat tens of women like shit, then treat "the one" like a queen, and think that makes up for everything.
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If the average Nigerian woman can’t be scammed of $250,000 it’s because they don’t have access to that kind of money to begin with. Not their exceptional powers of discernment.
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Do you ever wonder how people with poor eyesight survived in hunter-gatherer societies? Imagine going through life not sure if that thing hurtling towards you is a deer or a lion.
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It's funny how you can just forget to reply a person and keep planning to get back to them and before you know it 1 year has passed
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Lots of us think we're "decent" men but if we're being honest we'll admit we're problematic when we deal with members of the opposite sex
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If you’re looking to get into a serious relationship with a person you should probably be open about your eccentricities as soon as you can, so they’ll know if they can live with it. Selective honesty is for flings.
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One time I thought I was heartbroken but then I ate and I realised it was just hunger.
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Let's not act like society doesn't imply that people who dress and look a certain way are better than others. Context is important.
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My mum keeps praying I don’t meet someone who leads me away from the path of righteousness. She doesn’t know I’m the one who knocks.
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It's funny when fornicators invoke God to judge other fornicators for outfornicating them.
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When she says "treat me like a princess" you gotta lock her up at home then marry her off to another kingdom to strengthen your alliance
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Why are people insistent that we have to bring children into this world? What is it about life that makes us think it’s a gift that must be bestowed on the unborn?
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Lool but the men's homes will remain intact cos they'll be marrying goats abi
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But now you've told Twitter
There's a reason I don't joke with my step mum. Dad had issues with his job for 3yrs. No payment. No one knew. Not even his family members
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Ask the average woman about her experiences with men, and you'll hear a lot of bad stories. They can't all be lying.
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Women steal your finest shirts so you can't wear them and attract other women. It's a mating strategy.
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I'm not comfortable with people doing nice things for me if I can't afford to do nice things for them in return.
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On one hand 2018 has been trash but on the other hand it’s given us Gallant, Sufjan Stevens, and Rebecca Sugar on the same track.
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One of my favourite things to do is rush home then proceed to do nothing.
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Lol it's amazing how everything is the woman's fault, including the man's failings
My father was a drunk, irresponsible, bla bla bla.
Errr, can we talk about your mother's choices in men?
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Tweets like these are funny to me. The tweeters seem to think they’ve hacked the system.
Me on my wedding day going on twitter to tweet "men are scum" 💀😂
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Can you imagine the stress that must have gone into setting this up for hours, only to make a cool video that’s done in one minute? That’s how I feel about cooking.
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So you were reading his works without learning to pronounce his name first? Really put descartes before the horse.
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The materialism in Nigeria is disgusting. But if you talk now they'll say you don't have money.
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When you want to procrastinate till 4pm but you check your time and it's already 4.10
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Anyway if you show up to my house unexpected I won't open the door for you. On principle.
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Tell your pastor "God's chosen people" think weed is okay
Israel makes it official: The recreational use of marijuana is not a crime
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How do you people think jokes like this are funny? At this point they’re stale and unoriginal and even the shock factor is gone so it’s really just stupidity remaining.
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I don't know what logic you people used to arrive at the conclusion that people outside Nigeria shouldn't talk about the suffering in Nigeria. Isn't the fact that they left proof that the suffering in Nigeria chased them away?
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You won't get cheated on if you never form any emotional connections and never get into relationships and die alone. But you don't listen.
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Liking people is normal. Expecting happily-ever-after with everyone you like is the unrealistic part, which people should be more cognizant of.
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