America’s Fucking Sweetheart
@ShesLaurenK
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Comedienne, actress, writer, and local hot mom. 🌈
📍ATL
Joined May 2010
This where you can find that good Ole hilarious Lauren Knight standup in Jan. And it’s a world tour cause I’m going to Florida 🩵
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My younger son lost my MacBook and I’m calm right now because I’m in shock, but now I’ve definitely got a favorite kid and it’s not this nigga.
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Escape Rooms are the God first date because I get to see if you’re an idiot AND how you talk to me under pressure.
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If Shaggy is the hold up I swear to God.
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I love being a mom. Me and Jaden don’t be talking about shit lmao.
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I’m not twerk officer, but it really upsets me y’all are calling this squat twerk the crybaby because that’s just not historically accurate.
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Jon been trying to shake this job and he keep finding out he’s more and more qualified.
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THATS the wild part? Lmao.
This Aaron Hernandez doc is wild this nigga was Gay ????.
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Your brand is “hood dudes” and what they do. Your entire brand is black as hell. Black people are still being murdered and you start talking about the right way to protest? And NOBODY asked you shit?. Fuck Desi and Parlay. Next.
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It’s hilarious the lies being told to make TI look innocent or to vilify me lmaoooo what a hilarious day.
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I just sent my kids outside to play and they in the backyard looking dumb as hell talmbout “what do we do?” Lmao. Nigga go sit on one of them green boxes or start a neighborhood bike gang and beat niggas up. Hoop. Whatever you do don’t knock on this door.
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Jon looking like “Iron throne?! Bitch I don’t want the job I HAVE.”.
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I shaved my head and my ass did not get fat. I was just fucking bald.
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I got scared Dave Chappelle did something awful and was getting canceled I have never been MORE relieved to find out it’s just a lil cheating
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Have the youth remixed our beloved crybaby?.
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I let a nigga like this carry a bag for me and he ran off with my laundry detergent and body wash.
You can be leaving the grocery store & a nigga gonna hit you with, “Damn, ya man got you carrying groceries sweetheart?” You got one bag.
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Witchcraft niggas make me uncomfortable. I just do not trust a man trying to learn magic. You already have misogyny you greedy bitch!.
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Cumming before a man do is funny because he think y’all bout to keep fucking lmao. Baby! The credits have already rolled. It’s over.
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This is like when somebody leaves a “negative” review on yelp about how ghetto a club is and I’m like damn it’s ghetto like that? I gotta get in that bitch.
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Kim Kardashian being in rapper beef and tweeting rhymefest the wackest part of all this. Kanye is a fucking dub.
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Let’s just make up a charge and send Benzino to the slammer.
Benzino Says Daughter Coi Leray Shouldn’t Be Angry Over His Support Of R. Kelly Because She Lost Her Virginity At 14
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Niggas be like imma send you money to get your hair done & then send $50. Buddy I will have you killed.
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@TheBaddestMitch I’m searching the house. If it’s not here which I’m like semi positive it has to be im going to space.
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If I got stabbed to death over a nigga my last words would be “I know you fucking lying”.
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Niggas be so hype to tell people y’all fucked years ago lmao like sir 2015 was a hard year for me I did all kinds of lame shit.
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Bruh I just wanna tell jokes and for this man to LIE on me and then make it seem like I need to do this for clout??? I’m sorry we was at MY show? Lol huh?.
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I’m so bored with this link up. Fuck already you cowards.
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This is romantic.
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Trump roasting this nigga for wearing a mask?? During a pandemic?? LOL.
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I be singing the shit out of Cater 2 U even though I do not agree.
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Y’all don’t be asking for all of these deep lyrics from Cardi lol.
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The Navy knew I wasn’t staying when I came on the boat for deployment with a brand new 30 inch weave ❤️.
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Drake and Esco just having a good time not being on heroin.
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Y’all run yourselves ragged trying to prove to somebody you’re right. Let a stupid bitch be stupid. Let a lying ass mf lie. It genuinely does not matter what a weirdo is saying about you.
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I can’t wait to get my bbl with my milly.
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Hazel E told Masika she wasn’t arguing with a “bitch on only fans shivering asking for tips.”.
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It’s an insult to me. I didn’t put the work in for years to try to make it off scandal. I’m funny. I fuck with me and the truth coming out cause imma continue to tell it. For this 40+ man to go on live and continue to lie and make bs where it shouldn’t be is gross.
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It’s official. My kids do NOT know how to play outside. I have failed.
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I don’t want the real fruit flavors fighting the corn syrup for dominance.
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Shiggy be getting treated like a hoe constantly. Bruh wants to be paid for his job and it’s “we let niggas like you come in the section and drink”.
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I speak Spanish to my kids because it’s important to me that they become bilingual. I can only say “come here” and “you already know, bitch” but that should be enough to communicate with the NY Puerto Ricans.
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Drake daddy fondling you in a sequin bodysuit. Omg know this man going straight to hell.
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I wanted to let this whole shit go but this nigga is using his platform to lie on me and people are going for it????.
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Arya straight up with it. Hey, I’m here to kill y’all homegirl. Tell her come outside.
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You ever been sexing and had a nigga trying his hardest to make you squirt and he won't gtf on so you just pee on him and make his day?.
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I know y’all believe we going to space, but I’m more concerned at why the ocean is being kept secret. If 70% of earth is water wouldn’t we have tried to master that first? Something ain’t right!.
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Y’all bitches have LOST YOUR MIND. Pistol whipping, kidnapping. baby there is dick all around us. It’s cheap and abundant.
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The lawyer talmbout “yeah you slid on this one”.
They played ‘Halftime’ in court today, Thug looking at his lawyer like “you hear this flow?”😂😂
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I would spontaneously combust into a cloud of cocaine.
Imagine being in a club in the 80s and the DJ plays Off the Wall. Then they spin Doves Cry right after.
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Maybe I’m asking for too much, but after I send the nudes can I get a 3 paragraph essay about what you want to do to me & how you’re going to do it or romance dead?.
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This is sad and everything but if shorty pointed a gun at that lady 2 year old baby like the news is reporting I would’ve sent that ass to God too
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@CeciATL The neighborhood sounds dope. You know how old people have those old people villages.
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I’ve never cared enough about a nigga to look at his new girl and think “yo I’m bout to stab this bitch several times.”.
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Bill Cosby parole got denied because he refused to go to his sex offender treatment programs as some of y’all still be defending that old pervert. My nigga- you’re in prison. You don’t have shit to do BUT class and you saying fuck it. Yuck.
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When the reports came out that Meek used cold tap water for a drug test y’all ain’t want to believe it because “ain’t no way meek is that dumb.” . But, he is.
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They said shawty died in a trump flag? Worst final fit of all time.
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If you asking your man’s inner circle for the truth you want to be lied to.
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She’s so fine. I never want to hear this song again.
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Wait till he finds out he isn’t Brandy’s first body
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Y’all just be bothering God.
Yea I’m praying for Ye.
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I would put Trump out of office like it’s Bad Girl’s Club. Wide ass pants, toupees, everything all over the White House front lawn.
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He the type of fine where he’s probably not a good person.
I’m afraid to get the check tonight but this place is so fracking good.
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I tweeted something nice about men l trying to unify us all a few days ago and that shit has been sitting on my spirit. I want y’all to know that’s not the kind of bitch I am.
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Not twice. That’s expensive.
EYE THOUGHT THEY SAID JON COULDN’T PET GHOST?!!!.
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I almost clicked RT on an Ian Connor tweet. I need a bath.
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I can’t wear a bodysuit to a place that spells cocktails with a K?.
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Which is exactly what men have to offer.
Women deserve nothing.
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Still trying to figure out who my niece thinks Joe Biden is??
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If I'm scratching your back a lot during sex I'm bored and trying to write "weak dick" all over you in calligraphy.
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I see a busy man.
Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio and Capricorn after cancelling plans cause they have “work to do”:
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Saving the hell out of this country lmaooooo
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At this point if I like you that’s a red flag.
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Me explaining to niggas how I’m gay with 2 children
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I really just fw this bitch Cupcakke heavy and yall should too
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"Why don't y'all get over it?".Like I'm sure it was easy to get over something that never effected you.
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