Jenn Shelton
@SheltonJenn
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Following
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798
Statuses
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I just stick to running I promise
Mountains
Joined June 2012
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A bright spot for your morning
Cima Calhoun Shelton
2 November 2020
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1K
I’ve lost 200 IG followers since I had a baby Cima, two weeks ago today. Which settles the debate. Twitter is better.
#whowouldunfollowthatface
#monsters
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When you refuse to sell 40 hours of your week, every week, to the highest bidder, people tend to think your time isn't valuable.
But it's the opposite. I think time is so much more valuable than that.
11
67
445
For Lent I gave up giving a fuck of what anyone thinks.
With just one week to go I am extending this to the rest of the year.
#zerofuckslent
11
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376
Public Service Announcement from Pro Athletes:
"Slow" is a universal speed
When you invite us for a slow run we accept bc we like your company and we want to go slow
We really dont want you to hammer
Please stop trying to kill us
We are nice people
5
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352
Thurs: 20 min on treadmill at 15% grade
Fri : same
Sat: 10min flat OUTSIDE!
Sun: 12min flat PET A HUSKY!
After a 2 year hiatus with broken legs...so stoked to be "back"
130ish days until
@RunRabbitRun100
Aint no darker horse than this. U should totes bet on me.
10
1
323
Babies can’t wear masks or get vaccinated and moms would like to leave the house so if you’re not going to get vaccinated could you just fucking do it and express your intellect and individuality and edginess and distrust through something else like the arts or sport? Love, Jenn
6
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307
That girl sold nearly everything she owned and moved into a van so she could spend the winters in the Dolomites.
Now, in Italy, that girl dreams--literally dreams!--of burritos and margaritas. That girl wants it all.
7
10
293
Having a “belief” about Covid or vaccines is coming from a place of sheltered privilege.
When you have dead friends and family, you don’t have conspiracy theories. You have dead friends and family.
Please vaccinate, even if it will only save the life of a stranger(x 400,000+)
8
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Dear God I'm lying but I promise to never eat Taco Ball again if you just let my leg run another 6 min mile in this lifetime love jenn
13
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244
Dear sports journalists particularly those covering marathons and beyond,
I’ve run a lot miles. I’ve run a lot of races. In nearly every condition. Never once, in any context, would the word “grueling” describe any sensation I ever felt.
Just a thought, Jenn.
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242
Tell me your voting plan in the comments and win a kitten. That’s a lie. Tell me your voting plan in the comments and democracy wins!
#passtheplan
#nomakeup
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I just ran 4 miles at 9000” pushing Cima. A woman from the ski slope yelled down that I am a hero and I do not disagree.
12
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221
I woke up and looked out. And the mountains are still there. So there's that.
4
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The secret to never giving up? Never pretend to be an athlete. Pretend to be an artist.
5
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215
Just ran a FunKT--fastest unknown time--on the Sierra High Route.
Why Unknown? Because this one was personal, not an exhibition. 📷Ken Etzel
#besttimeever
#yaymountains
#happy
10
4
216
That year I got knocked up at the onset of a global pandemic and planned an AirBnB homebirth in Oregon bc I hate hospitals but the town burned down so I had to ask my 6 most muscular runner friends to help move a trailer into Pete Pastrami’s backyard. And I got a kitten bc, 2020
14
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215
"I want to continue sticking my big ass into places where people think I don't belong"
Auguri a tutte le donne!
Happy Womens Day Yall🖤🔨💋
2
31
210
After a over year and a half, my leg is starting to feel fucking awesome.
I almost can't type that sentence without losing my shit omfg What A Long And Beautiful And Also Horrific and Twisted Road With So Much Kindness Everywhere
#tracktuesday
#tacotuesday
11
0
195
To answer the eternal question.
Yes I have a boyfriend. Two of them.
Their names are running and ski mountaineering.
It's plenty.
4
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190
Today I brought a book into the porta potty. How are your mid-thirties going?
12
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192
Ran that Great Adirondack Trail race the whole time thinking I got to get back to that baby he is missing me so much it's going to be such a joyous reunion at the finish line.
@patagonia
9
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Well shit! Today I'll ATTEMPT to virtually run the middle 18 miles of Chuckanut. I missed the Jan segments but this mombod was still healing. You can register at and do the remaining segments w me! I'll let you know how today goes...(pics Chuckanut 2011)
8
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168
Coach: You must turn off your head
Me: For the last two years you've told me I must start using my head
Coach: Yes. Now I see this don't function for you
#hallelujah
#letsplay
#itried
1
9
170
A wise woman (my athlete manager) told me, “People grow up and tell stories about how rad their parents were, or their adventures as an infant. No one talks about how beautiful their nursery was.” On that note, nursery is complete. Total cost $10. Time to go outside.
10
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170
I made a hilarious joke in Italian and someone other than myself laughed and this marks the completion of my life goals. Thank you, 25 February, and good night.
4
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167
I ain't going running in this weather and I am a tough mother fucker both of these are indisputable
3
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171
Wanna be faster than me?!
Today's 8x200 was my first real running since 2015 *insert two broken legs*
46 46 44 43 42 40 39 38
Go get em Track Tuesday Tigers. This is the first and last cherrypick I'm dangling.
11
4
165
Don’t like wearing a mask? There’s a club for that, it’s called Everybody.
Thanks for wearing a mask anyway.
4
10
162
Virtual Chuckanupdate:
I’ve finished 10 miles and
stopping at home to feed Cima which is exactly like an aid station except you lose calories. 8 miles to go!
I know you’re probably supposed to run this is one shot but nobody likes a purist.
4
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161
I would have done anything for that burrito. Absolutely anything. But all he wanted was $7.99.
#bonktownusa
2
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161
Going to Alaska and I'm guh-na get married.
I mean run. Going to Alaska and I'm gonna run my face off.
4
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153
Race
morning
(everymorning)
mirror
What if
I trust myself
to fly
🐞🖤🐞
7
3
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I really want to get vaccinated so my family can meet Cima but I’m waiting my turn because there are finally clear rules to follow and if everyone would have been willing and able to follow the rules from the beginning we wouldn’t be in this gong show also how adorbs is he y’all
12
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Can’t tell you how excited I was to buy this shower wine holder. Only to realize that we don’t own a wine glass. Or wine for that matter.
13
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1.
@TimTollefson
is my physio and an amazing human being
2...
3...back to me. I JUST RAN 30 MINUTES HARD ON A TREADMILL!!!!
2
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When companies want to give you "free" product in exchange for some fake ass social media post just tell them you only degrade your platform with disingenuous posts in exchange for babysitting. It took me 37 years to learn this one. We all have our price.
9
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142
@hikingwithshawn
White men. Always white men. And I’ve had a grizzly walk onto and over my tent while in the middle of nowhere (and I do mean nowhere) and that was less terrifying than all of my top ten most terrifying encounters with white men in the outdoors.
7
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140
When I started
#vanlifeing
I thought I'd be a hwy vixen drowning in exotic dick. The reality: I'm now a
#celibateamateurelectricianmechanic
.
6
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143
Some people can go from full on sleep to full on beauty. Others, like the world's longest suspension bridge, take a few minutes cross.
2
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140
People always talking about exercise endorphins and I'm like...myth. 60mile bike after 9 weeks laid up w broken leg. Correction. They real.
5
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Last place in the kids mile at Juneau's local trail race. 30:05. I have no idea how I will ever run again. But. They tell me I will:)
8
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Seven months and 3 days post surgery. I took my first painfree step today. Oh how to celebrate? Decisions, decisions.
@ReboundPhysio
10
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139
I broke my leg and I feel at peace?
I keep looking over my shoulder for a dark cloud to pounce
And everyday I'm baffled to find patience
8
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Chuckanupdate 3–
I did it! 18 miles with 4500 (or whatever) feet of vert. I’m so happy that tonight Cima and I are wearing our special occasion matching fleece onesies. Cima is equally happy, as you can see.
8
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138
Verena: You look tired.
Misti: Hair looks amazing!!!
Why I keep multiple BFFs.
Thanks for the concerned messages. Not dead. Took a summer off from civilization. Hear all about it on
@tenjunkmiles
soon.
8
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133
I pledge to do a Sunday long run instead of attending a Super Bowl Party.
#superspreadersunday
#mamahasntdonealongruninayear
#thisgonnahurt
7
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132
Hand spinners for ADD? Take it from Auntie Jenn. Hair twirling is free. As is dropping out of college.
6
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133
Called 3 people.
Received 3 texts asking if I did a butt dial.
Hard times for the legacy of Alexander Graham Bell.
3
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I'm competely broke. My leg is 1/2 broke. It's summer. I have no storage.Found these for $25 and immediately bought. Bc I'm no fucking fool.
9
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Cima was losing his shit at the post office and a woman went to the store and bought me a pacifier. True story.
9
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The best thing about Canada is it's an ENTIRE country full of Canadians!!⛷⛷⛷⛷
2
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If/when I recovery from this pregnancy I will have made as many comebacks as the McRib
5
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Six trains to get to Chamonix AND YOU KNOW I WILL BE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE TWENTY MILLION TRAIN EMOJIS FINALLY🚂🚊🚊🚇🚆
5
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Be in love with yr life
Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
Blow as deep as you want to blow
Write what you want bottomless from the bottom of the mind
Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
-JackKerouac
3
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127
Crutching across the street in my bike clothes. Car stops and yells, "Keep smiling all that joy gonna heal you in no time!" I love Americans
0
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125
Any of y'all want to hutrunhut (hutrunhikehut) across the Rockies with me? Some spots just opened uprunup
14
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122
Coach: Why you not maximum concentrate?
Jenn: Because I could smell that there was a camera and I had no choice but to look up and smile like an idiot because I am American. It is in my blood.
Verena: Now that I live with her for 2 seasons, I can say this is true.
2
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121
A beautiful man and his homeless crippled friend went mountaining today.
#backinthegamebitches
3
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123
First fartlek of the season and I felt every cigarette I smoked this summer.
Which was one. But still. Thanks for the company, fella.
3
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123
Verena: Promise me you don't make fancy. Ski directly to the hospital
Jenn: Yes of course
V: No adventures
J: None
V: Say I promise
When all the passes are closed and you have to ski to surgery. But it is still 10,000X easier than navigating the American health care system
3
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115
Today we celebrate 🎉 !!!!!!!
Saw this on fb and I... 😭😭❤️
“Rosa sat,
so Ruby could walk,
so Kamala could run”
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The first time I watched Ueli climb a mountain it entirely changed my life. I think a lot of people can say that.
2
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113
“What’s your next race?”
“The next 24 hours. Moaning in bed.”
#ithinkidoubledmy2019mileagetoday
5
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111
T minus 50 minutes until my French roommate gets punched in the face with one of life's great disappointments. Poor fucker has no clue that the banana bread will taste nothing like licking the bowl.
2
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113
In a stroke of genius I put a slice of blueberry pie in my peanut butter summit sandwich and
@grroes
can't contain his reverence.
1
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And then I told them that in the Great Land of the United Stares of America there is a button on every microwave only for popcorn. Minds god damn blown.
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The big secret...
All my best, most favorite days of both running and skiing have at least one moment (sometimes hundreds) of "why the flying fuck am I doing this?"
It's in those moments that I remind myself of this truth. And move on.
3
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116
For everyone who was wondering: Cima was born with such a mighty mullet we almost named him Billy Ray Cima.
#myonlyregret
2
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That dream where the harder you toe off the deeper you sink into the terra flaccida. Pinch me I am a runner again.
1
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112
I’m told to meditate 10 minutes before and 5 minutes after my fisio exercises and I’m equanimously outraged to announce that it is working wonders.
#neuroreducation
#damnit
1
4
112
Five weeks until I can bike
Was gifted a jersey today!
Now I just need a bike...those grow on trees right?
10
1
114
Sat down for a delicious and relaxing post run beer but for some inexplicable reason I just couldn’t relax
5
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111
Hey athletes with batshit diet philosophies. Sleep is more important. love, J$
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When the weather deteriorates
and u should turn around
But you carried this chocolate bastard
Across an ocean and up a mountain
And damnit
No summit, no summit egg
#thatwasfrigid
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