Kerry Fox
@SensibleName
Followers
962
Following
618
Media
577
Statuses
4,504
I used to be of interest to a niche group, nowadays I mostly retweet cute dogs...
Joined January 2021
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Search dog my arse…
I reckon I spend about £50 a month on balls for this bell end to lose in swamps.
#teammali
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Proud of him for many reasons, but one is being prepared to speak up in things that others can’t or won’t.
“We’ve opened the door to the Taliban and said the country is yours, fill your boots”
On
#BBCBreakfast
veteran Andrew Fox says the speed of withdrawal from Afghanistan is ‘heartbreaking’.
Live updates here:
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Right, just to clear something up for everyone:
If you can buy a full English until 1800hrs, a pie and chips at 0800hrs and coffee choices are ‘white or black’, then it’s pronounced ‘caff’.
Not café (they have pastries and loyalty cards).
It’s a caff.
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I never wanted to say goodbye to my little shadow, but in the end it was the best decision for him.
I am so lucky to have enjoyed over 14 years with my best mate, but I’ll never stop wishing it was longer.
I cuddled him off to sleep and he never knew a thing.
💔
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Don’t care how old I get, this will always be the best dinner ever when cooking for one.
#gourmet
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Today, at work, I got called ‘Sir’ 3 times & ‘Mr Fox’ twice on the radio.
Difference it made to my life?: None!
Why’d it happen?: I have a deep voice!
Lesson: There’s usually a rational explanation if you’re not searching for a reason to be offended. Mistakes happen 🤷🏻♀️.
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The sparrows are going crazy in this heat, full on worm frenzy!
Now, I’m no
@CarlBovisNature
- but me and my iPhone got a couple of cool snaps of this one coming in to land!
#birdwatching
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Of all the pics from our fun day, this is probably my favourite. Mainly because it’s the most demonstrative of our relationship.
Find someone who makes you laugh at inappropriate times, that’s when you know you’ve won!
#NewProfilePic
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Amazing.
Just had someone complaining that
@maj_retd_fox
‘liked’ a post, that they believe shows a contradictory opinion to something I posted (it doesn’t).
Newsflash, it’s perfectly possible (indeed, acceptable) for a woman to hold an opinion that’s not curated by her husband.
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Pretty sure this little impulse purchase from
@ForceWearHQ
has become my new favourite tshirt.
Also good for getting confused looks from the youngsters at my workplace: “what’s that meant to spell?” 🤦🏽♀️
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Today at the gym they had a mini power cut, literally for about 2 seconds. This was sufficient to cause me to smash into the treadmill (which emergency braked), wind myself, & fall flat on my arse - just as the lights came back on.
So, just another day of making a tit of myself.
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Six days ago, I set up an account for the dog, as everyone enjoyed her posts.
She’s now overtaken me in followers.
Not having that, so we are off to drop her back at the dogs home.
#TreacletheBastard
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Currently at Dover waiting to get on a ferry. Got here three hours early, not one bit of traffic, passport control took all of two minutes and no queues.
Don’t believe all the hysteria.
Also… be aware that only one cafe in Dover opens before 0700hrs.
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Can I just take a moment to point out that my other half and my dog have the cutest bromance in history?!
@maj_fox
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Ages ago, Amazon kept nagging me to review an air horn I purchased.
I’d forgotten about it, but just had a notification from them to tell me that it’s receiving high traction & that a lot of people are voting it as ‘helpful’.
Can only assume neighbour disputes are on the rise.
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“Today, something I saw offended me.”
‘What did you do?’
“Nothing, got on with my day and forgot about it.”
Without saying your age, say something a young person today wouldn't understand.
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Here’s the thing… if a business/service makes wearing a mask a condition of entry/use then you’ve two reasonable choices:
1. Wear one.
2. Don’t use the business/service.
Nobody really cares either way, but if you do anything other than those two things - you’re a bit of a knob.
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In other (potentially related) news:
I’ve just purchased a pack of wax strips, and by the time I’m home from work he will be asleep.
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We don’t share any DNA, but here’s my dad.
He’s been my biggest supporter at every significant event in my life, been the best of friends & consistently looked after my best interests.
I’ll never stop feeing grateful that he made the decision to have me in his life.
#FathersDay
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“Hello, I’m Griffin and I’m in time out cos I keep trying to shag my sister”
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❤️
This is Joziah.
In April, his dad was killed in a car crash on his way to work as a detective.
His fellow officers didn't want Joziah to be alone on his first day of kindergarten.
So they did this.
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When you’re eating your lunch whilst doing your emails and just get a feeling that someone is watching you…
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Well. Currently
@maj_retd_fox
is being called the antichrist… but it’s me who has the magic number of followers.
Quite the power couple in the satanic subcultures.
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“Bloke with public facing job has wife with sense of humour, and they joke with one another.”
Christ, this is really scraping the barrel for something to write about.
What next? Maybe a small feature series on MP’s favourite vegetables? 🙄
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For Christmas, I got myself a vacuum attachment.
Not sure why I’m being shouted at about it.
They got all the gifts, and I can’t even have this.
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“No dogs on the bed you say?
I’m a Free-staff of the land, I don’t recognise your laws and you have no jurisdiction here.”
“Get down, Knobhead.”
“Ugh… fine… but I’m phoning Esther Rantzen.”
#abusedanimal
#neglecteddog
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Sunday mornings done right…
Step one: don’t start your morning until 1300hrs.
Step two: see below.
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Well.
Straight off a night shift in London & onto a plane to Chicago. A drive to Indianapolis through an extreme weather warning, then a walk to the stadium in -15c.
Worth every second, that was the best live performance I’ve ever seen.
Thank you
@ericchurch
&
@maj_retd_fox
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After 34 attempts, I’ve concluded that the reason I look like I have two chins is because I’m fat, and nothing to do with the camera angle.
Luckily, I have this handsome bastard (
@maj_retd_fox
) to make me look good ❤️.
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I normally have very strong feelings about personalised number plates, but fair play to
@PimlicoPlumbers
- this one is most excellent.
For my American chums, we use ‘bog’ as a colloquial term for a toilet. See also: shitter, khazi, loo and throne.
You’re welcome.
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Well, bugger me, I passed!
Genuinely shocked by that - they’re obviously actively recruiting sweaty, sweary, slightly concussed folk with verbal diarrhoea.
#winning
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Well, it’s
#malinoismonday
, which seems a good day to introduce Griffin!
#teammali
#dogsoftwitter
#puppylove
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Yesterday, I met a new man.
His name is Arthur and I want him to come and live with us.
He refused to come when he was called, made ridiculous noises and sulked when he failed to catch a pheasant. Best owl ever!
#NewProfilePic
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Watching SAS Rogue Heroes (finally).
The commentary from
@Mr_Andrew_Fox
is like a rat watching Interceptors.
“Amount of time between those drops, they’re landing at least three miles apart… four now”.
Really detracts from the drama, if I’m honest.
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When you have someone from work on speakerphone and the dog walks up and drops her guts so loudly that there’s an awkward silence.
‘Oh, that wasn’t me, it was my dog’ doesn’t sound especially believable, even when you know it’s the truth.
Cheers,
@BastardTreacle
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Return home from dinner:
“Treacle, is that the bird feeder?”
“Dunno what you’re talking about…”
“I can literally see it”
“Silence, look how cute I am”
“I’m telling Twitter what you’ve done…”
“Snitches get stitches…”
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When
@maj_fox
has decided to embrace yoga for his overall joint health, and Treacle wants to help, but doesn’t quite know how!
#staffysunday
@SeniorStaffy
@Battersea_
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@CrimeGirI
I think you might be surprised.
I cried when I was told that a ‘Liam’ I’d had regular dealings with for over a decade (actually, my first arrest), had been into front office to show everyone his one year sober chip & report that he’d found housing & work.
We aren’t heartless!
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I’ve not a clue where this image is from, nor who these chaps are, but they’re my new heroes.
Also, good doggo! ❤️
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1. I thought he did very well in articulating things.
2. Those presenters… Christ, how is anyone so on the ball and perky before 0630hrs?
‘My anger is mainly directed at the Bush and Blair administrations who made such a hash of it in 2001’
Andrew Fox, Army veteran, says ‘there’s huge amounts of anger’ over the situation in Afghanistan.
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A better police fitness test would be:
200m sprint
Locate train ticket
Sprint up two flights of stairs
Across a bridge
Down two flights of stairs
Long jump onto raised platform
Pre-test briefing: “Ma’am, two of your units are now briefing at 1000 instead of 1100”
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12 years of love, support and literally turning down life changing opportunities to look after these two idiots, and this is the treachery I’m repaid with when I want a cuddle.
#traitortuesday
#baddogs
#daddysdog
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Happy New Year one and all, I have an unexpected reprieve from a late turn, and a delightful Moroccan lamb tagine from
@maj_retd_fox
to enjoy it with!
Whatever you’re doing, be safe and happy and have fun! 😘
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“But I don’t want to sleep on this bean bag, with the lovely, thick, luxurious blanket. I want the OTHER one, the one Dizzee is on, and I shall sing my song until he is moved.”
***Dizzee is moved***
“Actually, this beanbag is quite nice, I think I shall stay here.”
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When you have a big scary day of tests ahead of you, it’s important to stuff your fat face full of food to make you feel better about it!
#lifehacks
#advice
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Actually seeing people on here claiming that the U.K. & Afghanistan have some parity in the way women are treated.
To be clear, even if all the grievances espoused by hardline feminists were true, there’s no equivalency, whatsoever, to legalised oppression & brutality
1/
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Folks, in lieu of Christmas cards this year, I’ve made a donation to
@Depheruk
Please give them a follow, and draw your own conclusions about the amazing work they do.
Proper good people, looking after vulnerable members of the community.
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Hahaha!
Have no idea where this is from, but I like it.
Can’t abide all the wankiness around coffee.
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Well, I’ve tried to be a good Mrs, and I watched an entire half of the football.
I have never been so bored by anything in my life. I would rather count the blades of grass in the garden.
I’m off to do the ironing.
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Christ, this nanny culture is getting out of hand.
Yesterday I discovered that Octonauts (rated U) carries a warning for ‘animals hunting and violence’, now a health and safety alert for a hand dryer.
Quite astonishing.
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Very easy to say, when you don’t have something about yourself that absolutely breaks you.
Every single day.
Maybe what we should actually do is stop being sanctimonious about other people and their choices.
From someone who has had cosmetic surgery 1/
And sad to hear about the large % of young girls wanting to surgically change their appearance to fit ‘Instagram’ model. Imho, beauty is in the uniqueness of someone’s face & features, & comes in all shapes, sizes, colours & most of all, from the spirit & person within.
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When you’ve had a week off and know you can’t be trusted not to do it in, it’s important to make sure you plan ahead.
No cake fines here…
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When you’re on the train in plenty of time for your 0830hrs start time for your course… and check your emails and realise it’s actually 0930hrs and you could have had an extra hour in bed.
😢😢😢
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Sad to see a woman I’ve the greatest respect for leaving the Met.
Even sadder to see the absolute state of the pathetic comments.
I wish
@KarenFindlayMPS
every success in the future, been an absolute privilege to work alongside & learn from someone so outstanding in their field
It’s deeply regrettable that what should have been a moment to celebrate for
@KarenFindlayMPS
has been soured by the vile sexist and homophobic replies to the announcement of her appointment.
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Surely
@twitter
folk can do their thing here?!
cc.
@maj_retd_fox
Windsor Castle mid 70’s and obviously I’m the hobbit next to the Grenadier! I had this in a frame and was my prized possession for many years. I’ve always wondered who he was and how life turned out for him.
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@pete4740
@mercer_felicity
I cannot stress this enough… women are not just an extension or mouthpiece for their husband.
The fact that someone’s spouse has a job, doesn’t infer duties upon them in support of that (unless by choice).
We can have our own opinions, humour and beliefs.
🙄🙄🙄
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When you’ve had a long ol’ day at work, and come home to this delight!
Slow roasted lamb shanks, perfect roasties, red wine gravy and some green shit.
Absolute keeper 😍.
In related news, I’m inexplicably putting on weight. Must be hormonal. Or a thyroid. Or something.
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One of the things nobody tells you about having a geriatric dog, is the frequency with which you’ll have to check they’re still alive because they haven’t moved for hours.
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People like this lady can get in the fucking sea. If someone wants to change something about their body, mind your business, nobody wants your snide judgement (dressed up as fake concern), or your ‘humble opinion’. Thanks. Bye.
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I got told off for bin dipping, and sent to the naughty sofa.
Now I’m laying on the emotional blackmail.
#teammali
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So, me and
@maj_retd_fox
tried the scooter hire scheme in Berlin.
Honestly, it was shit, and less effort to just walk.
#Travel
#reviews
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The death of HRH Prince Philip today has really choked me up.
Modern ‘celebrity’ disgusts me, but this man dedicated his whole life, literally every waking minute from early adulthood, to service of our country.
I hope he found Valhalla, I feel he would enjoy it more than heaven!
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Getting home from a long day at work to find someone wonderful has cooked dinner.
I married a good’un.
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#NewProfilePic
from back in the days when I used to be a shape other than ‘round’.
Sometimes, when you’re feeling homesick for a place that isn’t really home, it’s nice to have some pretty cool snaps to look back on.
#ABQ
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I get the best gifts from
@maj_retd_fox
- just spent an hour at
@MercedesBenzUK
thrashing this little beauty around tracks and along drag runs.
Plus some fun on a skid pan in an E class AMG.
Happy little petrolhead.
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Some people show their love with flowers and chocolates… I bring home heart shaped meat.
#romance
#cowstastegood
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@kejamieson_
It’s literally done for every major religious festival - and it looks great.
Not sure how on Earth these people find the energy to get worked up about lights in a public space.
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This gent was the first person to congratulate
@maj_retd_fox
and I on our engagement, and was thoroughly lovely. Made a special visit even more special.
Congratulations!
Congratulations to Old College Hall Porter John Archibald on his MBE in the New Year’s Honours list.
Anyone visiting in the last 22 years will have been warmly greeted by John. Plus, his vast knowledge of the maze of Old College corridors has saved many being late for meetings!
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This has just made my whole week.
Who is ready for the baby sea lion trying to train with the Navy Seals?
Credit Imgur/OctopussSevenTwo
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Someone is less fond of summer than I.
This is mainly due to the fact that the idiot will lie in any available sun patch until he overheats and then suddenly leap up panting. Then collapse looking sad.
#dogsoftwitter
#RescueDogs
@SeniorStaffy
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There’s no greater pleasure in life than hot buttered crumpets on a cold, sad winter morning.
Well… actually there’s being able to stay in bed and not see the awful morning, but it’s a close second.
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What a nice boy!
After his coaches tore chairs up and kicked trash cans over, University of Houston’s Jamal Shead stopped and picked up the trash after an emotional loss to Alabama Saturday night in Tuscaloosa.
I’m a huge fan of this young man!
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@ECIU_UK
@focaldataHQ
Sample size of 2010 adults, hidden in very small text…
Also could read “fewer people than work in my office support Net Zero”.
Next.
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All this nonsense with fuel makes me very glad that I’m one of those who knows pretty much to the mile how much leeway I have in my reserve tank.
People flapping when the needle hits 1/2 are rank amateurs!
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One of my favouritest hobbies is watching American medicine adverts.
30 seconds of telling you it’s the best thing ever, followed by 90 of listing side effects, lack of efficacy & likelihood of fatality from ingesting it & the fact that the control group was three people.
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BA email: Did you know you’ve got enough Avios to go to the Christmas Markets in Berlin?
Me: Husband, we are off to the Christmas Markets in Berlin next week.
Him: Huh?
Me: What just happened?
I’m it, I’m the advertiser’s target audience of weak and suggestible people.
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Hahahahaha - this is legit our house when I’m on rest days!
😴
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