Viktor reznov
@Sausagebuttys
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10,234
Following
6,280
Media
4,172
Statuses
31,426
he/him. views my own .no borders.
Joined December 2009
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مدريد
• 1543229 Tweets
Madrid
• 522887 Tweets
Barca
• 232839 Tweets
#UFC308
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#ElClásico
• 182902 Tweets
Mbappe
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Lamine
• 106773 Tweets
#الهلال_التعاون
• 88286 Tweets
Bernabeu
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Topuria
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Lewandowski
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Vini
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Holloway
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Khamzat
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Raphinha
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Whittaker
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#كلاسيكو_الارض
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Casadó
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Bellingham
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Pedri
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Hansi Flick
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Ancelotti
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Olmo
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Nebraska
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الريال
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Ohio State
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Mendy
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Balde
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Camavinga
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ليفا
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Iñaki Peña
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Lewy
• 11917 Tweets
I personally use a fruit bowl
My husband loves leaving fruit in my vagina all day so he can eat it later
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anyone who has an issue with this is a fucking idiot don’t sexualise a parents love for their child absolute oddballs
David Beckham criticised for photo showing him kissing daughter Harper, seven, on the lips
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Fuck sake can't win a tenner on a scratch card but a can win this shite existence nice one x
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they don’t eat the fucking baby Ashley
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Yeah it usually is hard to have a sip of beer when unable to locate ur entire jaw
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Seaworld mate, listen you don't have any friends you weird bastards stop abusing animals
Friends of SeaWorld, We are extremely saddened to announce the passing of Kyara, our newest killer whale calf. (1/3)
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unpopular opinion but If you’re a company contracted by the gov to feed school children for £30 and you turn up with half a carrot and £3.50 worth of shite you should be facing charges of neglect
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YOOO its Alex here the apparent
'Dr nice guy' from love island me and Jack are going to be at Lewisham university hospital performing open heart surgery on the 29th ITS GONNA GO OFFF
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i do this in salford quays with a greggs sausage roll
Went to Roatan to dip my mango in the ocean like Rihanna! And it’s so good!!! 😩
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The fact Jonah hill was hospitalised on the set of wolf of Wall Street due to snorting so much fake cocaine will be eternally fucking funny
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when I get my own gaff the biscuit tin is going to be fucking incredible
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a father carrying his child is emasculating?? mate you are so so very strange and insecure
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spoons have not only taken the smashed avocado bagel off the menu they've also made the cocktail pitchers smaller this is the tories doing I can feel it
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this is what posh white kids who say ‘rah’ look like
‘It was an insult to the British people that we didn’t leave on the 31st of March’
This Conservative Party member says he is supporting Boris Johnson in the Tory leadership race.
#bbcqt
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no sorry mr tv license man you cannot come in I have corona virus self isolate init
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Not a cell phone in sight. Just people living in the moment.
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got with a girl and our nose rings linked does this mean I am now pregnant with an indie kid
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I can't depop anymore "what's lowest you'll take for this" it's 10 fucking pounds mate 10 fucking pounds if I go any further under 10 fucking pounds then there's no point selling it all I might as well give it you for ZERO fucking pounds that's why I put it at 10 FUCKING POUNDS
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Imagine having Jeremy Corbyn as ur dad it'd be mad tbh he wouldn't tell you to clean ya room he'd INSPIRE you to clean it
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unisex nail polish exists mate dunno if you’ve heard of it it’s called nail polish
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I mean the robot is a bit scary yes granted, but that egg cunt definitely eats human corpses in his mums attic he's another league of creepy
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Every now and again I'll come across a tweet SO Scottish reading it's like trying to crack the fucking davinci code
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this fellas been in spoons since 10am and keeps winking at the underage barmaid
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Matt Hancock is completely the Tory whipping boy in the cabinet I bet he forgets to put a sugar in someone’s brew and priti patel puts him through a table like the undertaker
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1000% applying for the new Raven show been training all my life for this moment fuckin well fancy my chances against some asthmatic 10yr old
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That's clearly toothless from how to train your dragon you uncultured SWINE
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them lads that message girls every single day and get aired are troopers imagine typing out "hey xx" 365 times a year fuck me it's like community service
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reported to social services
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landlords should be named something else entirely the title ‘Lord’ is too prestigious instead it should be something like “housing ghouls” or “greedy fucking bastards” idk
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It’s okay to be White.
It’s okay to be Black.
It’s okay to be Asian.
It’s okay to be Hispanic.
It’s okay to be Female.
It’s okay to be Male.
It’s okay to be Gay.
It’s okay to be Straight.
It’s okay to be YOU.
But it's NEVER okay to be a Tory
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Course Gordon Ramsey is an expert on cocaine the mad bastard enters a fit of rage over a lamb sauce he loves a dabble of the Devils dandruff
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any chance someone could create a bus window that doesn't slam shut with the same ferocity of a fucking military grade surface to air missile cheers
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When your going out wi the lads at 6 but you've got to ride the Valhalla Blackpool pleasure beach ride at 7
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The whole 'don't do drugs' mindset is a load of bollocks, it's unrealistic and mostly ignored. We need education and facts for young people on safely taking drugs IF they want to. Just saying "oh don't do that" clearly doesn't work and doesn't address the issue properly.
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The north/south divide can be measured by the greggs to waitrose ratio
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Brexit was a ploy entirely fabricated from the start to take attention away from the cold hard fact that David Cameron fucked a pig
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hahaha mad init I think it's called getting changed I do it now and again like
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the guys a fucking champion dealing out info for free for every student alive and now shouldn’t be taken serious because of his appearance?
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Absolutely fuckin cherish the thought of somewhere in them crowds of chanting "oh Jeremy Corbyn" there's some silent little Tory nob sulking
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true bro you won't catch me communicating I just grunt and punch my bedroom wall bro like a real man bro
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When ya mum puts her tunes on to clean the house
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just started sertraline, I’ve been in k holes more pleasant
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I do believe that man may be in the wrong job
President of gay dating app Grindr says marriage is between a man and a woman
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this year don’t leave a carrot out for Rudolph instead leave a toddler out
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my tinder experience is getting matches never speaking to them through sheer awkwardness and then deleting the app every 2 weeks
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he's upper class and won't shut up about something?? so it's probably ketamine
Prince George is OBSESSED with something – and he won’t stop talking about it
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a sex chat line but it's just me talking about gravy in my northern accent at 35p a minute
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what the fuck is exactly wrong with you thinking this a normal thing to do
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|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
The conservatives
are killing the working class
|＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|
\ (•◡•) /
\ /
---
| |
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Cocaine has been illegal in the UK since 1971 it’s a good job nobody does that anymore either :)
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Imagine actually growing up and going fox hunting wearing one of them wanker hats and leggings acting hard on a horse hahahahahahah
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Nah man every year my mum makes up these Christmas stockings for us packed with mad shit and sets an alarm for like 3am just to come and place them at the foot of our beds whilst we're sleeping that is unconditional love what a woman
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dick and dom must have been smashing through the mdma on a daily basis
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lying in the street awaiting an already stretched ambulance service instead of just going to a&e for a minor head scratch you useless lump
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Sadiq Khan is now solely responsible for all year 10 school fights pass it on
This is what
#ilford
has come to under
@SadiqKhan
he needs to resign now and hang his head in shame he is a complete failure shocking!!!
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The upper class student after their first experience on MDMA:
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I get that goths are obsessed with death but Kat Von D not immunising her kids against deadly diseases is a bold move
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Ed Sheehan could recite mein kampf to a nice melody and the beige masses would eat it up like kibble
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All the snapchat filters have taught me is that a look 100% better as a cartoon fucking pig than a do as an actual human
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see it's this sort of thing that helps people be aware of the dangers and actions to take. The whole 'just don't do it mindset' doesn't work for everyone
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mate these delivery drivers spend hours and hours in the cold knackered delivering food and household items at all hours for people (some vulnerable) they’re a bigger asset to the people than most police will ever be
Following numerous complaints about fast food delivery riders we conducted an operation in
#tooting
this afternoon with immigration enforcement.
In 90 mins we stopped
48 bikes.
2 were seized for no insurance
3 riders reported for offences
2 x arrests for immigration offences
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hahaha yes what kind of loser drinks water?? Lmao real men just fucking die from dehydration
My buddy is a dumbass. He has a date 2nite so he’s going to get a manicure. I tried telling him that girls don’t like guys who do feminine things like drink water or keep their hands well-maintained or use products like lotion& chapstick. The kid is just completely clueless lmao
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people with peanut allergies need to grow up 😂😂😂 just breathe mate hahahahah
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women's shower gel: butterscotch fruit bowl bliss fuck this smells good
men's shower gel: bacon butty with brown sauce and motor oil please
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“Hello hi yes is that the ‘job- job centre’? am I pronouncing that correctly??”
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fuck me I thought this was Raoul moat
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Football twitter are the boyfriends of fiat 500 twitter that's the rules I don't make em
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what the fuck is the point anymore really
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"YEsss smeagol will TAKE nicee hobbitses up the mountain let SMEAgol show you the way"
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Might stick shrek 2 on its basically an antidepressant
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find the people vote conservative
👱♀️👱🏾♀️👱🏼♀️👱♀️👵🏻👵🏻👱🏽♂️👱🏿♂️👱♂️👩🏼👩🏾👩🏿👩🏻👩🏻👩🏽👩🏾👩🏾👩🏻👩🏼👩🏿👱🏽♂️👱🏽♂️👱🏼♀️👱♂️👱♂️👱♂️👱🏽♂️👩🏿👱🏼♀️👱🏼♀️👱🏼♀️👩🏽👩🏽👩🏻👩🏻👱🏽♂️
Can't find them?
Honestly look a bit closer they’ve got scales horrible selfish bastards very slimy, easy to spot
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just knowing that bloated orange fuck is knocking about the same country as me won't sleep a wink tonight double checked all the doors and windows that tango arsed boogie man will not be getting in here tonight
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my mum says I’m allowed £5000 for Christmas so I got 5 zoella candles and got 35p change
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You have just asked your own children how they would rather violently die? Bet bedtime story's are an experience at your gaff fuck me
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A shitebag Tory government and an overdraft larger than a semi detached house x
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It's only a few more hours until David Attenborough made it through 2017 great work everyone fantastic effort
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anyone who has this in their home also has a lampshade made from human flesh
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Fiat 500 twitter just loves the simple things in life like having your hair played with, tango ice blasts and being fucking racist
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In the UK we don't say "equality and fair chance for all" instead we say "FUCK THE POOR" because we have a soulless regressive Tory government. Isn't that amazing?
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