Jack Metzler (cleaned up)
@SCOTUSPlaces
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Reporter of Decisions, Court of History. Judicial review is a thing.™ Author of the most-cited law review article of all time (in judicial opinions).
Washington, D.C.
Joined February 2013
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When the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?", it might seem like you are in a conversation with a cop, but you're not. You're now testifying and what you say absolutely will be used against you. /1
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Again, this is not going to get you out of a ticket. But the cop is using social conventions and politeness and respect for authority to get something from you that you do not have to give. So don't give it to them.
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The best answer is something like: No sir, I do not. I checked my speedometer and I was going the speed limit, the light turned yellow too late to stop but was still yellow when I entered the intersection, I signaled to change lanes, and I came to a complete stop at the stop sign
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Sometimes the cop will try to trick you and ask "Why are you in such a hurry?" This is not an invitation to give an excuse that will get you out of a ticket. It is another invitation to testify against yourself. You should answer: Golly I'm not in a hurry at all...
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Another classic is, "Do you know how fast you were going?" It's not a fair question bc it's asking you to admit speeding or that you dodn't know how fast you were going. So I think you don't have to be fair in your answer. You should say "Yes, I was going the speed limit."
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I don't know why you would think that (etc.). None of this is likely to get you out of a ticket, but at least you won't have to listen to the cop repeat your stupid excuse to the traffic judge.
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I think there were better reasons to kill Osama Bin Laden.
Delta has banned the Navy SEAL who killed Osama Bin Laden for refusing to wear a mask
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26 years ago today, President Clinton announced his nomination of Ruth Bader Ginsburg to the Supreme Court.
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If you find yourself experiencing schadenfreude at reports about CPAC or Air Force One, remind yourself that despite the political moment, we are all part of the same human family. Remind yourself that people said AIDS was God's judgment against gay people. Don't be like them.
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This is essentially the nightmare of showing up for the final exam when you never went to class and oh you also are naked. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STUDY.
MUST WATCH: Republican
@SenJohnKennedy
asks one of
@realDonaldTrump
’s US District Judge nominees basic questions of law & he can’t answer a single one. Hoo-boy.
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The existence of civil engineering implies the existence of criminal engineering
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Happy early birthday to Justice Ginsburg, who will be 82 on Sunday. In this pic, she is 20.
#NotoriousRBG
http://t.co/1gNuSzyjPP
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BREAKING: The biggest news in citation style since (cleaned up): Chief Justice Roberts uses the "semble" as a signal. What does it mean? /1
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Justice Alito on Friday: If we issue an administrative stay of the vaccine or test requirement, you're not going to accuse us of getting people killed right?
Also Justice Alito, to me:
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May it please the court
Apart from "life is short" what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?
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Okay if you REALLY want me to I will critique the cover pages for all of the federal courts of appeals.
Let's start with the First Circuit. The vibe here is "It's 1984 and we have to type our opinions on pre-printed letterhead, which we can't afford to print in color." /1
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Huh that's weird I never noticed this feature of the SCOTUS rostrum before the Snyder opinion.
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This is Forrest-Marbury house, the former home of William Marbury, disappointed plaintiff in Marbury v. Madison. It was here that Geo. Washington negotiated the deal for the land that would become D.C. Oh and just to relate to current events, it's now the embassy of
#Ukraine
.
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History of impossible to find items on Christmas Eve:
1998: Furby
2014: Elsa doll
2020: PS5
2021: Rapid covid tests
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I know it sounds crazy, but what if an ironing board didn't sound like the death scream of a alien when you opened and closed it?
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We said goodbye to Sadie today and I'm a mess now.
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Okay so here are my thoughts on the Federalist Society. I may lose some followers but that's how it goes.
I know many of my conservative friends are members and I view that as sort of a stain on their soul. /1
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I'm no expert on the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, but giving the head of a foreign country $50 million to grease a deal in that country seems . . . troublesome.
BREAKING: The Trump Organization planned to give a $50 million penthouse at Trump Tower Moscow to Vladimir Putin during the 2016 campaign.
Sources say that Michael Cohen, Trump's lawyer at the time, discussed it with a rep of Putin’s press secretary
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So let me get this straight. Gaetz puts a motion out there to remove McCarthy, half a dozen republicans are like YEAH WE ARE WITH YOU, and literally all the dems are like lol this will be hilarious and so it passes?
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Liberals should be careful about posting their "hot takes" of this situation, lest we learn that their favorite justices are also secretly receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars from billionaire friends
NEW:
Clarence Thomas Had a Child in Private School. Harlan Crow Paid the Tuition.
The price tag could have exceeded $150,000.
w/
@js_kaplan
@Amierjeski
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BREAKING: (Cleaned up) has officially swept the entire nation, appearing in judicial decisions issued by courts in all 50 states & DC.
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Here is quick a tutorial on how to use Word's TOA tool.
1. Select the first citation in your document.
2. Under the References tab there is a section called Table of Authorities, with a button called Mark Citation. Click it.
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So in case you were wondering how big the Ever Given is at about 400 m, here's a comparison to some of the tallest buildings in the world.
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I don't think the Justices have truly grappled with how being overtly political undermines our barely-holding-it-together democracy. There have been times in our history when serious people were like "what if we just ignore what SCOTUS says?"
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Decoding Ginsburg's statement of regret: What did she really mean?
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My best day as an attorney was when the FTC sent millions of dollars of refund checks to thousands of consumers in a case I handled on appeal. The checks had the case name on it so when people googled it they found our brief and my phone number. /1
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Think of the worst attorney you know. If the bar exam couldn't keep out that person what the hell is it good for?
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🚨🚨🚨🚨BREAKING!!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨
Supreme Court uses (cleaned up)!
My work is done. I drop all mics!
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OH HEY I forgot to remind you that yesterday was the 140th anniversary of the oral argument in Kaiser v. Stickney (1880), when Belva Lockwood became the first woman to argue in the Supreme Court.
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Here is a snapshot chart of the federal appellate courts' typography preferences.
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Wow this really blew up, check out my SCOTUSCloud
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@tailalee
@BfloHealthAtty
@AdamSerwer
The shade in this paragraph-a White House invitation and speaking on Fox News were low points, but this is beyond even that.
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Rules
1. Always read the local rules.
2. ALWAYS READ THE LOCAL RULES.
3. Grant reasonable extensions; ask only for reasonable extensions.
4. No surreplies.
5. Start from the text.
6. Don't try to hide bad facts, bad evidence, or bad precedent.
7. Use the Oxford comma.
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Finished my Lego SCOTUS so that's something.
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I am in favor of judges writing less formal, more readable opinions. But I question some of these choices (all from Wolson, J.)
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So for anyone (else) who's wondering what the judge thinks he's doing in the Young Thug case, here's my best guess, based a little bit of research and almost no knowledge of the facts. /1
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Appellate lawyer has got to be in the top ten for jobs that can be done remotely.
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HOLD EVERYTHING. WTH is this?
(quotation modified)???
Thread:
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This good girl is a little confused about why she's having such trouble with her balance, and so is everyone else. Please send good thoughts.
@darth
.
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Why not just go back to the old rule where if you want to filibuster you have to stand there and talk and your filibuster only lasts as long as you can do that?
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Sotomayor sticks the landing on a rarely seen triple-nested quotation, with a degree of difficulty that would be entirely unnecessary with (cleaned up).
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Is there a river in Crimea called the Crimea River because if not that is a missed opportunity
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When citing an unpublished district court decision by case number, use the shortest form that uniquely identifies the case. Thus:
22-cv-42
Not:
1:22-CV-00042-MJB(BLT)
Also: this belongs in Bluebook Rule 10, not hidden in Rule 18.
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A 93 page district court opinion should be prima facie grounds for impeachment.
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Every attorney upon seeing this sanction
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These people, who were scammed out of thousands of dollars in a payday loan scheme, called me up to ask if the check was real and they could cash it. I got to tell them yes, yes it is. I even had a check cashing company call. It was a good day.
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Asked an AI to write an opinion reversing the Colorado Supreme Court in the style of Neil Gorsuch and it did not disappoint.
#GorsuchStyle
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I only remember this from law school but you still can't contract out of gross negligence right?
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So let me get this straight. Biglaw lawyers think so little of their bosses and other lawyers that they presume they notice and will get upset if their email address isn't given proper respect in the to: line of an email. That's what clients are paying $1,000 an hour for?
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We need more Socratic judges ordering 20-100 lawyers to be prepared for a hearing and then calling on them at random to discuss any aspect of the case.
Except in 13 years of practice, I’ve never appeared in court when I wasn’t aware well in advance that I’d be there and know precisely the case I’d be required to discuss. You want to model practice? Assign specific cases to specific students.
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ADA: You can say anything in court...
Witness: I'm going to lie
ADA: oh you can say anything in court...
Witness: imma confess to the murder
ADA: but you can't say that
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YEAH SO YOU CAN TAKE OUT THE BRACKETS AND ELLIPSES AND INTERNAL QUOTATION MARKS AND THEN YOU JUST SAY CLEANED UP IN A PARENTHETICAL AT THE END
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Rao's dissent is even worse than I've described below because it would keep Congress from investigating any illegal activity by someone who is impeachable, not just the president. Could Congress investigate sexual harassment by judges in support of judicial oversight? Nope.
Judge Rao's dissent is poorly reasoned. If this were the law, Congress could not investigate whether the President acted illegally even in support of passing legislation to stop future Presidents from doing the same thing.
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For those wondering whether to produce nonprivileged materials requested in discovery that are harmful to your client's case, I am sharing my personal decision process:
1. Produce it.
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One ironic thing about becoming a lawyer is that you often voluntarily give up rights you just learned about because you don't want to mess up the career you are launching. These clerks will probably cave because they don't want the Court mad at them. I hope they don't./1
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Happy Birthday Justice Ginsburg, who is 84 today. In this pic she's 20.
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So the story is: my multi billionaire close friend made me take a loss on the property I sold him. That's what he's going with.
A real dog ate my homework excuse for failing to report the sale of the house his mother lives in to Harlan Crow.
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What? How do the federal courts of appeals present their own name in their opinions? I'M GLAD YOU ASKED! /1
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In sum, I denounce (quotation modified) and everything it stands for. /x
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It's here! The 2018 Supreme Court In and Out List.
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For those having a hard time choosing a favorite to replace Justice Breyer:
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@hannahdreier
@joshgerstein
@DLind
@propublica
Check out this site, where you can buy that one and also coins that say "Catchin Tonks" "Crushing Dreams Since 1924" "Grab Em by the P**** Day" "Put Illegals Back On The Run Again"
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Hey, you know that thing you did a long time ago that you feel bad about? The thing you've been thinking about off and on for like 10 or 15 or 20 years? You can let it go now. You're not that person. I know bc you never did that thing again. You're forgiven. Forgive yourself.
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I've heard it said that poor people shouldn't be spending money on luxury items like cellphones. I think it's clear now that those phones are a life-or-death necessity.
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Pro tip: When proofreading a document, print it out in a different font and size so you can read it with "fresh eyes."
#AppellateTwitter
#legalwriting
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Coincidentally, my new book has just dropped too
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Insurance is the only product you buy from a company that will fight you if you try to use it.
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Cannon: There is no statutory authority to appoint the special counsel!
The statute: "The Attorney General may appoint officials ... to conduct such other investigations regarding official matters under the control of [DOJ] ... as may be
directed by the Attorney General."
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How will I validate my self worth if they eliminate the LSAT?
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How can it be a defense that the billionaire who let you ride in his private jet is your close personal friend and also a defense that you barely even know the billionaire who let you ride in his private jet?
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I like this quote from Gorsuch's opinion so much I illustrated it: "This elephant has never hidden in a mousehole; it has been standing before us all along."
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When writing an appellate brief, you must keep in mind your intended audience. My most important audience is always future me who has to argue the case and doesn't remember anything about it.
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There is this tongue-in-cheek thing the FedSoc says about how it is a simple debating society and they don’t take any position on anything. But that’s just a cover story. They clearly have a point of view. Their position is basically pro-“conservative views.” /2
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