In a realm by himself, the laughing stock of his own village. A vessel that has no port or harbour, a joke, a wanderer, with no destination. CLIENT FEEDBACK
Shit got real, my dad has the virus. Had a call from Ward 117 at Royal Stoke, they cant reach my mum so I had to hear the DNR speech. Not looking for sympathy, those who follow me know he’s gravely ill, the moral of the story, take this disease seriously, I haven’t, I am now.
Everton arriving at Craven Cottage in a flotilla of river boats so large the Putney locals compared it to the great Spanish Armada of 1588 and then subsequently losing to relegated Fulham is the most Everton thing to happen in the entire history of Everton.
The
@worflags
displays are majestic and look fantastic, even to this neutral, seen loads of tweets saying
#NUFC
should fund it, nah, no way, it becomes contrived and loses its independence and provenance, fan donations are the only way, then it remains beautiful AND independent!
We Stoke fans boo the away team and we’re Neanderthal, inbred hooligans who lack class. Liverpool boo the away team and they’ve created a euphoric cauldron of intimidating noise. Not a dig at LFC just the British press and cunts like Holt, Cross and Samuel.
@JuliaHB1
Hey, you seen this? Just giving you the heads up in case you want to get a t-shirt made for the tele. I can’t credit the content creator as it’s being widely circulated on all social platforms by thousands of people. Free speech without consequence is the best speech eh?
Just been to visit my dad for the first time since he entered full time nursing care three weeks ago. He’s dropped on, he’s got the “Stoke” room. Whatever they pay these fantastic care workers it’s absolutely not enough. Absolute angels. I won’t lie, there have been a few tears.
The decision to play 33yo Henderson, currently plying his trade in an embryonic and largely anonymous league in a dead rubber against poor opponents will do wonders to endear Southgate to a sceptical public. We have so many exciting young players. I don’t get it personally.
They’ve spent a few quid, that shouldn’t be overlooked, but this Newcastle side are so much better organised, better drilled, better coached, supremely fitter and so much more confident than under Bruce and those things are absolutely free.
There are 177 billionaires in the UK, if they gifted just 15% of their wealth (£653Bn) to the Treasury to safeguard society, and the millions of workers who made them rich. That’s £100Bn! A windfall tax on O&G, that’s £120Bn, recession over, a better society, NHS, education …
Has there been a more miraculous Barclays metamorphosis than Newcastle? Abject relegation fodder to contenders. Early days in this game but they are just 1000% better under Howe. I know they’ve spent but the lads he inherited look totally rejuvenated and much fitter and sharper.
My mum is off to pay for my dad’s funeral today. My dad is still alive. A surreal event, but following legal advice, it’s the best thing to do. Why? Because “the state” takes
all his savings when he enters residential care, which is imminent. He paid tax for 51 years. Disgusting.
Seen everything now, a £1M flat in Whitley Bay, the end of the world is nigh … one of its key USPs is its 5 minutes from Kebab King and 8 minutes from The Rockcliffe.
Charlie, give me this tranquil, peaceful and, to the normal eye, charming scene over 10,000 fat pissed English men in replica football shirts fighting, pissing and puking on the streets of Benidorm every night for the next six months any day of the fucking week you racist prick.
Delighted for Toon pals, shame it’s the Saudi PIF but it is what it is and the city is deserving of success. With respect to Man City/PSG this will go nuclear if trophies arrive, the club has infinite potential. However, it’s Newcastle, they’ll probably be relegated next May.
Not a dig at City or BHA but this story masks a more sinister truth. An FACSF hasn’t sold out which is astonishing in itself. A lovely gesture by a great player, but there shouldn’t be tickets sloshing around. It’s pricing, it’s venue, it’s the KO time. The
@fa
should be ashamed
EXCLUSIVE: Raheem Sterling pays for 550 pupils from his old school to attend FA Cup semi-final between Manchester City and Brighton at Wembley |
@MikeKeegan_DM
Just seen a lad with his own snooker cue. Like rocking horse shit these lads. Ten a penny back in the day, you were a weirdo if didn’t have a two-piece Riley from your mums’ catalogue. Then the Atari ST and Commodore Amiga both came along and boom, goths ruled the world.
An update on my old man, a bit long winded, but I thought a few would like to read the update and explanations therein. I’m numb, but not for the reasons you’d imagine. I spoke to
@vocnorth
about it as he appears well read on the subject and this matches research he’s read. Ta x
Shit got real, my dad has the virus. Had a call from Ward 117 at Royal Stoke, they cant reach my mum so I had to hear the DNR speech. Not looking for sympathy, those who follow me know he’s gravely ill, the moral of the story, take this disease seriously, I haven’t, I am now.
@flamingnora
She doesn’t appear to have any friends her own age or any family present?? It’s basically the regulars at the local Tory constituency and ward meetings plus several GP receptionists and retired magistrates
The biggest trick the devil ever did pull was manipulating the mainstream media to convince normal (sic) people that their enemy was benefit claimants, immigrants and asylum seekers rather than billionaires, hedgefund managers, the aristocracy and the monarchy.
How it started ...... how it’s going ......
She turns 25 on Wednesday and leaves these shores in October. I will be utterly lost without her. My absolute pride and joy.
I doubt there is anyone on here who wouldn’t have had a pint in the Legion with Captain Tom. But it’s a shame there are plenty of people on here prepared to turn a blind eye to the absurdity of it all. The £33M he raised is 0.15% of what Dido Harding spunked on Track & Trace.
Professor Denise Welch, Loose Women’s resident epidemiologist widely published in Hello, Heat, TV Quick, The Sunday People magazine and a supplement in The Chronicle about Christmas hampers.
@emmaroc33249448
@Telegraph
I’d wager, making an educated guess, that you graduated under a Labour government and began your careers under a Labour government and bought your first house under a Labour government? You might be older than you look but I’d guess you’re c44/45?? That’s a decent platform eh?
@PetronellaWyatt
@MailOnline
My pal Barry paid £25,000 for a largely unsuccessful penis extension. I can still remember him begging the nurse if she could take away the pain but keep the swelling.
No, but they provided average footballers with wages that were so obscene that one election night several took to Twitter celebrating a Conservative election victory that meant they would all pay less tax.
I’ve driven four hours from central Newcastle upon Tyne to Stoke on Trent in torrential rain to see my mother. She clearly cherishes my visits and spoils me rotten. She told me not to stop en route as she was doing me a chicken dinner ... 9/10
My dad passed away at 01.23 today. I’m not a fan of recreational grieving so I’ll leave this up for a few hours. Many pals on this app have followed his dementia journey so I thought I’d let you know. For the very best this, like scoring into the Boothen!
#YNWA
- CLAIMED
Sat with my mother and my gravely ill father in his room in his nursing home. She’s just asked me to turn Johnny Cash up.
It’s Biden’s press conference about Ukraine.
She told me earlier that my dad hated Frank Sinatra.
It was Richard Hawley.
Had a truly awful day, one of the worst, beyond bad, so was heading to the One Stop for fags and a litre of snide vodka. Bumped into these two bonny lads out on their Xmas do, chatted, came out with a grab bag of bacon Wheat Crunchies, a bottle of lemonade and a Caramac.
I’m sure I would be exempt from wearing a mask for medical reasons if I was precious. But imagine the indignity of bothering your GP during a pandemic to ask her to issue a letter to a grown man to save him wearing a mask in half hour bursts. Mask or agonising death, grow up FFS
The old man is 82 today, we’re celebrating in his
#SCFC
themed room at his nursing home in Cheadle. The fuckers’ better turn up today, I’ve promised him a 3-0 win.
The plague is absolutely no fun, I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like if I hadn’t had the two jabs. I’m totally floored, it’s beyond grim, I’m really struggling today. Get the vaccine people, avoid a pretty horrendous illness and even potential death.
If an Englishman tried to murder another Englishman in Red Square I wonder if Putin would spunk tens and tens of millions of rubles on it. Would he fuck. This is fucking madness. You could fund a few schools for a year for the cost of this enquiry.
The “obligatory airport pint” moment only mildly ruined by a large stag do queuing for pints and PAYING SEPARATELY. Kitty lads, start a bastard kitty, do you not know the basic rules of adulthood??
Shit got real, my dad has the virus. Had a call from Ward 117 at Royal Stoke, they cant reach my mum so I had to hear the DNR speech. Not looking for sympathy, those who follow me know he’s gravely ill, the moral of the story, take this disease seriously, I haven’t, I am now.
This is the future of cities as they transition from primarily retail destinations to cultural, living and social zones. City councils that grasp this will see landscapes flourish. It was shop then eat/drink and now it’s eat/drink and perhaps shop. Newcastle is ideal for this.
@mmmiiiccckkkyyy
This is third tier football, surely an excellent incentive to keep Sunderland kids interested in
#SAFC
and not see them lose interest in football or to start following Liverpool or Man City???
England rugby fans AND great north runners all over town. Never seen so much Rab on show, gilets AOTS, and coloured corduroys on every man, woman, child and servant. They could try cracking a smile FFS, obese men and skeletal women. A toxic cocktail of Home Counties cuntishness.
I seem to be in a minority of one in my local (Geordie) pub thinking Newcastle played well, Rashford the key, Bruno G magnificent, Casemiro on another level, you can’t win every game and Newcastle well ahead of plan. File under “one of them things” but Newcastle weren’t shite.
Waited 45 mins for a barbers to open yesterday. Transpired his Algerian wife had given birth at 3am, he was putting a sign up, “closed this week”. He insisted he cut my hair/beard, I was a new customer. These Kurds, coming over here, cutting our hair, speaking 3 languages .....
Historians will look back at this fiasco and deem the PMs decision to back Cummings absolutely catastrophic. The whole mindset of the country changed overnight, the resentment was palpable, the new “fuck it” attitude audible. The scientists knew too, they looked crestfallen.
Blanket MSM coverage of a super yacht sinking and rich people drowning. My condolences to their families. Perhaps if we invested the same time on small boats sinking closer to home and explained why people made this treacherous journey we’d not be such a spiteful, hateful country
Jeans on ✔️
Shoes on ✔️
Blazer on ✔️
Gant shirt on ✔️
Taxi ordered for Harry’s Bar ✔️
Pitcher of Directors Bitter pre-ordered ✔️
Early pint of piss to line the stomach ✔️
Locked the wife in the cellar for the afternoon ✔️
Three Poppies, each lapel, one behind the ear ✔️
Miguel, doesn’t Sultan Muhammad Abuljadayel, a Saudi Arabian, own 30% of your newspaper? Along with Russian oligarch Alexander Lebedev who supported the annexation of Crimea and by association all the atrocities and human rights abuses thereafter? Stop making a prick of yourself.
A great idea would be for Newcastle fans to hold up a giant banner of Jamal Khashoggi at every single game if this takeover with PIF actually goes through.
So the Saudi fella dominating my timeline is a Man Utd fan who coincidentally happened to be living in Newcastle (studying) during the takeover so put a Toon top on has now become a celebrity with the podcast lads? Who doesn’t love the romanticism of football. A beautiful tale.
@GMcK2012
@gm_stone
@BethRigby
I’m a Labour member but I think I’d oddly welcome a Labour, LibDem and Green alliance to wipe the Tories off the electoral map. A progressive coalition, unprecedented times require unprecedented politics. My hatred of Conservatism trumps any political ideologies I endorse.
Why not celebrate the crowd and not mock Brentford? A club that has risen from nothing to compete in the worlds richest league. I have a dog in the race, I live here, I know this isn’t normal behaviour, but it’s easy to see why everyone, and they do, hates NUFC fans like this.
Was feeling a bit down, the lockdown blues had enveloped me, so I was dragged kicking and screaming for a walk, 3 miles, 2.5 of which was with my feet in the sea. Needless to say I now feel fucking great
#hellosailor
#NE30Dadsuals
Of all the things I’m missing most, family, mates, pubs, cafes, restaurants, gigs, even work, I’m missing football the very least.
I’d even go as far to say I’m not even missing it. The elite professional game will implode in on itself, no bad thing in my opinion.
Those inside my circle are aware of my on/off struggles with my mental health. I said nowt for years, fearing ridicule. Conversely I manage, I function, I occasionally thrived. Sadly, many don’t, especially working class men, eyes peeled lads x
@IFUCARESHARE
#WorldMentalHealthDay
More arrests at Port Vale v Stoke City games than all the other alleged rivalries put together. Since playing them for the first time (competitively) in over 75 years in 1989 there have been over 975,000 arrests, not bad for a two club city with a population of 250,000 👀
Steve Bruce inducted into League Managers Association Hall of Fame. Becomes 34th manager in modern era to make
@LMA_Managers
1000 Club in reaching the grand landmark this Sunday.
#NUFC
Just listened to Nicola Sturgeon give a very coherent, balanced and matter of fact press conference without recourse to silly analogies about Greek Gods or inane Latin phrases and do you know what, I understood every bit of it and would know exactly where I stood if I was Scotch.
My Facebook. A load of “mates” who have in recent times lurched firmly to the right who post Tommy Robinson and Britain First videos and voted leave and UKIP mourning the tragic death of Ranking Roger from The Beat. FFS lads, is the irony of this lost on you? You silly cunts.
I love this. I love it even more because of the fume. I was unashamedly English, and British, but flags don’t cook your curry, drive your taxi, clean offices or perform heart surgeries. England is a cesspit. My desired England is tolerant, diverse, inclusive and cosmopolitan.
Taken at 0730am, was up early for the UFC so went for a walk to see the sunrise. I’ve been struggling this lockdown, some fresh air and a walk on the beach did me the world of good. Lots of swimmers out too. I thank your mythical Lord every day for where I live
#Cullerfornia
The Polish lass I see daily on the Metro is reading a book, in English, her second language. How are these people supposed to integrate if they have scant regard for our traditions and customs? Why isn’t she playing Angry Birds or slagging a colleague off loudly on her phone?
Just been the gym. I’d be smearing shit over my padded cell walls if I hadn’t hit the gym hard in 2019. Been a bad year for mental health and anxiety on a personal level. I’ve always taken solace in alcohol, and been the much worse for it. Finally grasped exercise isn’t uncool.
I’m an astonishingly lucky man. A few hundred yards from my front door. An absolutely majestic morning, and even this glass half-empty bastard feels glad to be alive to watch the Tories further destroy my beautiful country.
Obscenely paid footballers stood in bad clothes in front of gigantic Xmas trees and £10,000 worth of presents in £5M houses wishing me a very happy Christmas “during these very troubled and very difficult times” is my new festive jam.
Good luck to parents losing kids to “big school” from September. I advise you remember the last time they exit those primary school gates with every fibre of your being. They’ll soon fucking hate you, begin plotting your murder and stealing your liquor. Then it gets a lot worse.
Lowest weight I’ve been since October 2009, power to the ageing overweight hirsute intermittent fasting calorie counting dadsuals. I’ll be able to see my cock by summer solstice, vaccinated followers, we shall gather on Tynemouth Longsands for the great unveiling and cod & chips.
Seen it all now, calls for a dozen or so Mags to have lifetime season tickets for “helping get the deal over the line”. Talking about the deal on a podcast and working 100hr weeks for a magic circle law firm or Big 4 accountancy firm on the transaction are very different things!
This Everton documentary is beautiful. The Stoke links help, with Bracewell, Heath and Kendall but that Everton side was ace, the players so normal too and the crowd scenes are class. I was at my football-loving peak then and the 80s indie soundtrack is a fabulous addition too.
A few on here I hold in VERY high esteem who speak eloquently about mental health and bullying liking and RT’ing bile sent to Steve Bruce’s son Alex. Do you not see the gigantic contradictions and rank hypocrisy? You need to make up your minds if you’re good eggs or bad apples.
Father and daughter on a final stroll as she “officially” leaves home for good tonight and move into her new Heaton flat. I’ve already chosen the new paint for her room, decks, vinyl and clothes will be in by Sunday ....
A missed penalty from a very probable quadruple. This is the best British team ever, they’re an absolute joy to watch. And don’t @ me with your oil cunts bollocks, that argument is boring as fuck. Enjoy it for what is is, sublime football on another level.
Not been in a pub since the 21st and other than Xmas Day I’ve not drank this Xmas. I don’t drink in the house. Yet if I suggested a walk to the pub today she’d exclaim “you only ever think about the pub”. Never marry lads & lasses, a toxic psychological battle every fucking day.
Keep hammering Denise Coates and a) she’ll take all these jobs to Gibraltar b) she’ll leave Stoke City high and dry when her dad dies and c) pay next to nowt to HMRC. You’ll then be able to worry about an insolvent football club, 4000 redundancies and further fiscal misery. Ends.
Greatest ever mental in the history of mentals. Everything fell right, night game, floodlights, packed away end, local same city derby, abject hatred, top v second, rain, Burslem a war zone, Stoke all over VP. You can keep your UCL finals, third tier tantrums are the best.
Did a thing today, bucket item ticked off. Ever since I saw Educating Rita as a horny 15yo I fancied being a Uni lecturer. And today I was, for 4 hours and I’ve been asked back and I’m getting paid and can add Associate Lecturer to my CV and become a vegan and Liberal Democrat ..
Humbled, I’ve had lots of DMs, texts, emails and WhatsApp messages asking if I’m ok. I’m tip top, just taking a time out to concentrate on work and the two charities I’m involved with. It’s mad busy. I’ll be back soon talking the usual shite, but thanks for caring you ace lot x
It is impossible to be financially stable by 18 without parental or grandparental donations and/or an older, wealthy BF or GF. It is impossible to have accrued the wealth. It is also impossible to have accrued the class, dignity and self-awareness of a mature adult you vile tit.
Many moan about
@cerysmatthews
on here as she doesn’t play anything off the first Stone Roses LP but I’m lucky if I know 10% of any given show. Isn’t that the point? I can take or leave some of the Methodist banjo but it is an absolutely wonderful, joyous weekly experience.
Stanley Johnson travels to his second home in the south west, Boris is discharged and retreats to second home Chequers and now Cummings drives to Durham. We really are in this together, apart from the Johnson family, and their inner circle of advisers.
I’m leaving for Stoke on Trent at 9am, what are the new rules now? Ruddied cheeks, mustard cords, Gant shirt, blazer and brogues? What time are we burning the Romanian man at Fountain Square and more importantly when are we getting Brexit done? Make mine a Directors Bitter.
I’m all for dogs in pubs, I love dogs in pubs, I love dogs, dogs are better than people, but if they’re yappy bastards, then rules are rules, just like kids and WAGs, they should be asked to leave after 5 separate barking incidents. Small ones are the worst. By fucking miles.