A tiger and a turtle In a bar in Aberdeen Are drinking lager from a thimble Because they are both extremely mean http://t.co/r6w0tOdynx

@TNLUK Yes you keep telling me that and as I'm old and knackered I would like to point out that you need to get a move on.

@jk_rowling @damekatydenise_ As someone once said . . . . . One Small Step for Man

@haveigotnews Yes but the did fix the Aqueducts (Sorry I mean potholes) Ah Damn.

@elonmusk Clutching at straws . . . .

@BBCNews That is not a particularly rare an event .

@jk_rowling I don't run, I was hit (along with wife and kids) by a drunk driver 40 yrs ago) . . . . I feed the birds and muddle along . . . . . . . When did all this sides stuff start?

@jk_rowling Damn I should never have read that last bit first . . . I was looking forward to having you over for dinner. . . . My wife has always said never read the end of a book first (or apparently tweets)

@Osinttechnical I worked on something almost identical in the 1970s it was a bit shit at the time. Air and Powerful Lasers are an unhappy mix over any distance.

@Only9built Some cars are best left at home in ice and snow.

@elonmusk I don't think Trump stands much chance of fixing Debt

@BBCNews No . . . . . . Less speed more ships. It is far easier to make a ship Eco.

@haveigotnews A Bacon Butty

@jk_rowling @damekatydenise_ What you need is an illustrator that folk point at and mutter . . . . Oh God not him again . . . . .

RT @JonathanPieNews:

@BBCNews What did the Romans ever do for us 'End woke' and 'boost crypto' Ah Damn . . . . .

@ColinSpenc4257 Windows 3.1.1 was OK for its day . . . . I still have discs for it somewhere

Twitter was OK, but X is a bit rubbish sadly.

@Crap_Portraits Is it Elon Musk

@mrmarksteel Didn't they turn it into a lake?

@elonmusk As an old battered ordinary brit living in Britain who has never had much time for any of our politicians all I can say is don't be a dick and have a close look at US politicians first. I mean you support Trump so ?