Rob Fox III
@RobFoxThree
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Writer/Podcaster | Child Dad | Born: STL | School: #MIZ | Original ‘toons pinned | Podcast: Softcore History (linked) | Pic: the face I make every time I tweet
Austin, TX
Joined October 2011
Somehow this cartoon I made literally just for shits and gigs for my Twitter was named a finalist for Best Comedy Micro Film and Best Texas Film at the #AustinAfterDarkFilmFestival. Screens tonight. On an actual movie screen. Pretty excited.
Made a new cartoon about guns and Coronavirus and socialism and Chef Boyardee pls watch. Steve's New Gun (for killing his neighbors if this Coronavirus stuff goes really south)
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Mahomes and Kelce look like the dipshit henchmen in a Jason Statham movie.
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People really don’t talk enough about how Angel Hernandez, arguably the worst MLB umpire of all time, tried to sue the MLB for racism for not assigning him to playoff games and in court the MLB just wheeled out a TV and showed how dogshit he was at his job.
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Wife got me a cold brew maker for Christmas. Didn’t realize it made cold brew *concentrate* until after I had a cup. Heart is racing. Toilet is pure tripe. Just shooting out stomach lining at this point.
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He has no formal coaching experience *in football*. Michael Vick has, however, helmed a competitive sporting organization before.
Michael Vick, who has no formal coaching experience, says he has interviewed for the Norfolk State job.
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Woke up on this gorgeous fall morning in my nice house. Played with my two adorable children. Got coffee with my beautiful wife. And if my sports teams don’t win today I’m going to wrap my car around a tree and welcome death.
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*at church*.GF (who isn't Catholic): The kneelers are uncomfortable. Me: [points at Jesus] Neither is a cross. [to Jesus] Sorry about her.
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Can't be fun for China to raise an army of slave-athletes, then watch doofus stoner American Michael Phelps murder Olympic records #USA.
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@bgsteeze The union made him impossible to fire, I believe. That was at least a big part of it.
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Kid: Grandpa, tell me about the Great Chicago Fire. Grandpa: The Cubs had finally won the World Series again, and we were all very drunk. .
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When LaVar Ball says white players are why UCLA lost I assume he's referring to his half-white son getting 39 dropped on him by De'Aaron Fox.
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Drew Lock still doing his touchdown celebration. Now on Monday Night Football. Tom Herman struggling to make the Florida Atlantic Owls bowl eligible. In case you guys were wondering.
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God help the hookers ordered by Jerry Jones and Chris Christie tonight.
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Space Jam 2 spoiler alert: Kevin Durant willingly joins the Monstars.
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Everyone go easy on Netflix. The ability to stream major sporting events has only existed for 22 years.
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*to their players*.Dabo: I love y'all. Play hard. We can do this. Saban: Did I not explain something clearly enough?. #NationalChampionship.
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@RetrogradeAgain I don't hate it at all. And I love them both. They just look like they're about to fight Jason Statham in a pub.
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Dog needed an ultrasound to check for pancreatitis. Vet made a cheesy joke about it. I… over-escalated things. Vet: We did the ultrasound. Good news is he’s not pregnant. *me and gf laugh*. Me: Well that’s a relief because I’ve never used a condom with him. *infinite silence*.
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Stanford Student Has The Best College Football Sign Maybe Ever >> http://t.co/UpSs9RiIpR << http://t.co/XvP4bhEUWU.
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Literally all of them. This is the funniest show ever written. It makes The Office look like Big Bang Theory. Fight me.
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@TheRHancock19 There’s only one way to get famous as an umpire and he succeeded spectacularly.
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A Normal Person: Your children/family will — and should — be way more important and fulfilling to you than whatever your job is. This is true for men and women. Harrison Butker, Attempting to Express This: Listen up, sluts.
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Whelp I’m officially an unhinged Mizzou basketball fan for the rest of the year. The wheels are off. I believe in everything. God help me.
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@BHougom I would be totally comfortable standing next to their fully exposed, soapy, huge dongs.
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lol Netflix just sent me to a screen and blamed my internet connection for the problems. Immediately opened YouTube TV and am watching college football with zero problems. 300 billion dollar market cap and they can't stream a video on the internet jfc.
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For sure the saddest part about the time I drank 7 sangrias at Epcot and threw up in a trash can was not having a toddler with me.
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Feel like an idiot paying these student loans when Mizzou clearly would’ve paid for my entire education if I’d have volunteered to drop footballs thrown in my direction for them. Would’ve been great at that.
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My wife is so ignorant about history. Just sitting here yelling at me for drinking an entire 12-pack (and counting) of 8% ABV microbrews this afternoon in honor of Jimmy Carter. Doesn’t even care that he legalized microbrewing.
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The "I'm not admitting I'm voting for Trump but I'm totally voting for Trump" vote was, uh, underestimated. #ElectionNight.
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I like to close my eyes and imagine someone from 1992 trying to comprehend this headline.
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brb gotta go find a rusty nail and hammer it into my temple
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Marriage is NOT a competition. That said, my wife puked up an entire bottle of red wine on our new white bathroom tile last night and I handled it with infinitely more empathy than she would've so obviously that's like 50 points to me.
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Band of Brothers: War is terrible but it forges unbreakable bonds. The Pacific: War is an unceasing and unfathomable nightmare. Full stop. Masters of the Air: BOYS WEEKEND LFGGGGG.
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I mean, obviously you leave out some cocaine every Independence Day Eve for the ghost of JFK.
Cocaine was found in the White House over the weekend, which sparked the Secret Service to launch an investigation. President Biden was not present in the White House when it was discovered.
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If 90s era Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t say, “Hold onto your butts” in Captain Marvel that movie will have been entirely a waste.
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After all the expedited travel this season, if Dany's fleet takes 3 eps to land I'll break my TV. Westeros D-Day ep 1 or GTFO #GameOfThrones.
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Screwed around and taught myself how to animate (a little). This is my failed Disney pitch about the life of a tree.
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It is July in Texas. The environment is unfit for human life. I stand in my front yard as my two small children scamper barefoot around the driveway, which has been baking in this hellscape’s unrelenting sun for hours. Their soft feet dance amongst the heat shimmers. Flies buzz.
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Lane Kiffin says he's losing all of his money to Obama and his ex-wife, is my favorite coach in college football.
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How does Baylor, the land of virgins and sophomore year engagements, have the sexual issues of an alley behind a Tijuana strip club?
#Baylor strength coach arrested on prostitution charge as school mired in 1 1/2-year sexual assault scandal:
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Human beings finally tossing a disease back at nature. About time.
Leprosy is discovered in wild CHIMPANZEES for the first time. Chimp populations in two West African sites confirmed to suffer from leprosy. READ MORE:
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I'm not gonna lie this "If Trump and Clinton debated to be frat president" video ended up being pretty accurate
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Surfer Gets Bitten By Shark, Tracks Shark Down, Kills It, Now Plans To Eat The Bastard
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JR Smith is going to put 20 strippers through dental assistant school tonight. #NBAFinals.
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Zach Mettenberger Sent This Ridiculous Snap To Celebrate Becoming The Titans’ Starting QB: http://t.co/2IzidrogX2
http://t.co/ofTt3fdQaW.
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My two-year-old keeps calling the Grinch “Christmas Monkey” and I’m worried it’s a slur.
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Say what you want about Florida State but they’ve earned the right to be the annual team in the CFP semifinals that loses by 30.
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Pretty smug for a generation that was OD’ing on laundry detergent six months ago.
Opinion: We’re not millennials. Hold my generation, those born after 1996, to a higher standard, writes @nicole_renee971
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When It Snows University of kansas Students Have No Idea How To Park [READ HERE >> http://t.co/BASWGBSPGM]
http://t.co/vHoUcD0QUR.
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Meryl Streep: Without us you morons would only have football. MS: [1 min later, crying] The privileged shouldn't use their power to be mean.
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For those of you who don’t live in Texas, here’s a little snapshot of daily Texan problems. Person: *walks up to talk to me, is wearing giant Texas A&M ring*. Me: [to myself] Please be normal.
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#PokemonGO is all fun and games until hundreds of 20 somethings start dying wandering into traffic chasing after a wild Abra.
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Sad to say that my grandpa, namesake, & WWII vet Dr. Robert E. Fox, Sr. passed away. Proud to share his name & family http://t.co/AOjdxNnxAZ.
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Some frat guys sing horrible, racist song. VAST majority of Greeks are appalled and condemn it. Media/people condemn all Greek life. WHAT?.
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When you're from the Midwest it's easy to forget how terrified people are of tornadoes when they didn't grow up in a place where they're a regular possibility.
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Isn't that where it's supposed to be? Get back to me when you find one in the basement of a Pizza Hut
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Dear Mizzou Football Players,.NOBODY SMOKE WEED THIS WEEK!.Love,.Mizzou.
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Love Actually takes place mere months after 9/11. Liam Neeson’s 10 year old stepson would’ve been riddled with bullets running through security at Heathrow Airport to tell his classmate he loved her. I’m sorry but I cannot suspend my disbelief. That child should’ve died.
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No plans for #MardiGras but feel obligated to drink 20 beers then throw stuff/pee off my apartment's balcony. Because I'm a good Catholic.
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This Lil Wayne interview is hands down the funniest thing you'll watch today.
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Fiancé: *smiling ear to ear* What’d you get me for Valentine’s Day?. Me: A ring two months ago. Fiancé: *rethinking everything* k.
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Last week I moved into the house me and my fiancée bought and it’s fucked up how much I love going to Lowe’s now.
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Auburn Players: What’s the play coach?. Hugh Freeze: Dial up the “Beg God to Punish Us” coverage.
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Here's the MUPD report on the @MIZZOU_DU incident. Not one officer heard a racial slur from DU. I look forward to this being ignored.
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Everything Jesus Shamed Me For In Church This Christmas >>
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What I love about America is whether it's 1817 or 2017 the country will happily watch an Irishman and a black man beat each other for sport.
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Fiancé: *Holds up clothing item* Do you like this?. Me: Yeah. F: No you don't. I'm returning it. M: I do like it!. F: You don't. I can tell. *holds up next item* Do you like this?. M: I actually legit don't like that. F: Whatever you don't know dick about fashion I'm keeping it.
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This is the most Midwestern thing I’ve ever seen.
Umm. a youth baseball team in Iowa plays on as a possible tornado twists in the background. 😳
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If you've written "should of" or "would of" instead of should've/would've in a social media comment more than once you shouldn't be allowed to vote.
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This is the one of the most Jim Harbaugh things I've ever read.
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I love country songs that tell a story. My favorite one is The Farmer’s Daughter. It’s a tale about how a farmer was kind enough to give a drifter a home and a manual labor job, and the drifter repays him by drilling the farmer’s college-aged daughter in the bed of a pickup.
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Mom: How's work going?. Me: Good. Got a lot of compliments on my dog testicles article. Mom: *sighs* Your private high school was so expensive. .
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It's okay Team USA women's hockey, just remember that they're still Canadian. They are life's silver medal.
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So the owner of Unbarlievable on Rainey Street in Austin REALLLLLLY hates bad reviews. More than he hates women and minorities, even.
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NHL: Let's mic up a player in the playoffs that'd be fun. *hears 10 seconds of dialogue*. NHL: Burn the tapes and all evidence these existed.
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just paid taxes as a married homeowner for the first time i am a libertarian now.
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We lost Bengals and now Quinton's. What insane people would rather pay a G for rent than a handful of nickels for a quart of straight liquor.
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Stat of the Day: In the past 12 months Mizzou has killed more beagles than it has won conference football and basketball games. Combined.
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Imperial Japan as a victim is the funniest narrative I can possibly imagine from this corner of the political spectrum.
Oppenheimer has been released in Japan, eight months after its global release. We spoke to historian Naoko Wake to learn why the U.S. refuses to take accountability for the war crimes it committed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki and why all of this is relevant to us today.
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Four Idiot Kentucky Fans Get 40-0 Tattooed On Their Asses Before The NCAA Tournament Starts: http://t.co/iUHcGr07Dj
http://t.co/XrKjDoVXmI.
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Hard to express how tactically awful that use of the Dothraki was. That’s a “It’s 2am and I accidentally got hammered drunk while mindlessly playing Total War for 7 hours straight” move. Cersei deserves to win.
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