Bobby Dewhirst
@RobDewhirst
Followers
627
Following
386
Media
411
Statuses
14,716
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Pinned Tweet
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‘Put it up there with the flat earthers’ 😂😂
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First time I met
@RobDewhirst
was at a house party and he done a shit in a kettle 😭😭😭😭 can’t let white people in your homes fr
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Me if that went in
If that bicycle kick went in I’d have considered converting omg
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Driving past my local boozer knowing I can’t go in for another 2 months
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This heat is a problem.. sweating like Wiley in Golders Green
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Everyone pray for my boy.. nothing wrong with him he just look like big Chungus
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My life at the moment is going out 6 nights a week thinking I’m gonna meet my future wife then ending up waffling shit to bossman in the kebab house at 2am
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Really can get a bit of everything on that Facebook marketplace, decent
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Christmas work do Friday. Rugby tackled 40 year old 4’11 secretary on dance floor. Cut own ear open. Tended to by bar’s designated first aider. Put in cab home at 10:30pm. Disasterclass
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Me in the pub this weekend after nailing a tequila knowing we’re going into lockdown Monday
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Over the course of December if you see this homeless looking gentleman in McDonald’s Liverpool Street please kindly escort him to the nearest pub. Thanks 👍🏻
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3 weeks without a shave and it still looks like I’ve nicked a 14 year olds beard. This quarantine is good for nothing
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Year ago today I dropped a proper 2/10 performance in Ibiza. Lasted about an hour at ants before passing out in the hall at jet and being rescued by the birds in the room next door
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Me after 7 pints of Stella
They’re opening a basketball version of Top Golf called Jumpshot Live👀🏀🔥
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Telling the fresh African cabby about eating arse.. 5* journey
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Imagine the boozers/rooftop bars up the city today if it weren’t for this covid bollocks. 22 degrees, sunshine, 4 day weekend. I’d be face down in a gutter by 9pm
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I would like to clarify this is the old Bobby. New Bob goes church and does not drink.
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Happens to me every year
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How nice is it not having to unstick your sweaty ballbag from your groin every 2 minutes, it’s the simple things
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Lord help me fight of these demons 🙏🏻🙏🏻I could shit through a sieve and not catch a piece
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Wembley for Italy Spain Tuesday. England semi final Wednesday. Epsom races Thursday. Cardiff for the weekend. Wembley for the final Sunday. RIP Bobby Delicious it’s been a good run
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This is how you walk into the pub the day after you finally ended your 3 month sex drought
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If a girl has a nose ring she likes it in the pooper. I don’t make the rules
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When couples look at each other in that special way ❤️❤️❤️
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All been there 👍🏻
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men are either good at football or know how to eat pussy
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I hear him, I had a wet dream so violent I pulled a hammy
Jake Paul has now said he had a wet dream which contributed to the Tommy Fury defeat: "I woke up in a panic like, 'F***.' You have two weeks of testosterone built up and so a wet dream happens. It makes your legs weak… I think it's one of many reasons [why I lost]." [IMPAULSIVE]
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Me when someone comes out the work toilet asking who’s blocked it
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What a gaffer, what a club.
3s skipper enjoying 2 out of 2 wins with 2
@PeroniUSA
Also celebrating
@RobDewhirst
“Over me!” call(s) this afternoon…… with a 5.3 win over Southbury Athletic…..
#COYM
🖤💚🖤💚
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Foden best youngster in the prem if you think otherwise give your head a wobble
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Oakwood Tavern has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. @
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Had 12 pints and 5 jaeger bombs last night but balanced it out with a bit of dioralyte so I feel right as rain this morning 👍🏻
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Someone remind me to never get a vindaloo again my bog looks like I’ve emptied a radiator
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Walking into the restaurant for my first post lockdown date absolutely steaming knowing I’m about to waste 3 hours of this girls time
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The bloke cheering 18 for the scouse blondie gets me every single time
Soccer Am at its peak, wouldn’t get away with this now 😂
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Not really sunk in we was 2 metres from the most talked about guy in the world...... what a day
#whothefuckisthatguy
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Ate 3 week out of date sour cream and chive dip and my bog now looks like downtown Baghdad. How’s everyone’s weekend
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Great job officers, lock these fuckers up next time 👍🏻
For those ignoring government guidelines in Southgate Hockey Club Trent Park officers have removed them from the location and will continue to cover open spaces.
Thank you to everyone that continues to adhere to advice given.
#StayHomeSaveLives
💙
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I just wanna go out for dinner with my bros.. yes even the hairy ungroomed homeless looking man
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This man?!?! Surely not
DJ Tim Westwood accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women
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Pray for my mate Terry. Nothing wrong with him he’s just got a shit hairline
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This is my boys hat collection. Pinned up like he’s proud of them 😭😭
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Dua Lipa looks exactly like Hector Bellerin and I still wanna clap her cheeks into oblivion
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I thought I was getting the Foden trim….. looks like I’m getting the SAKA trim!!!!!!
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Sex is good but have you ever jet washed skids of a bog with 30 mph piss
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Announcing my retirement from alcohol and football with immediate effect
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Wonder how many times across the country a couple of fellas will say ‘corr it’s hot’ ‘might be too hot’ ‘might be’ today
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Left a nice review for the Love Shack in Bethnal Green, if you go ask for big penis Jesus say the boogie man sent you 👍🏻
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When you accept a bounty target on Warzone
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‘Fancy a pint?’
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The way they dig up Slades Hill there must be either oil or Maddie McCanns skeleton down there
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