Richard Hammer
@RichardHammerTV
Followers
19,050
Following
335
Media
3,901
Statuses
19,601
I play video games sponsored by @Madrinas - business email - RHammertv @gmail .com -
Michigan
Joined September 2013
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Unban requests are my favorite Twitch addition.
Framing this one.
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Hell of an accomplishment! I mean just three years ago you were caught scamming them! Seriously impressive!
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I'm quitting smoking and tweeting about it in hopes that the shame of failure will help. Thank you internet.
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I saw multiple examples of this today from
@Northernlion
's chat.
"yo Richard hammer is a real person wtf"
I love the idea that I'm just some character from Ryan's brain...though it would've been could if he imagined me rich.
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"What are you for Halloween Dad?"
"I'm the famous steamer Richard Hammer."
"You aren't famous Dad."
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Hey
@Twitch
could we possibly consider other ways to unlock emote slots? I may not sell 10,000 subs but I’ve been selling subs for 7 years.
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Hey
@Twitch
,
Since you can't fix this unsubbing bug. Can you make subs cumulative? I don't ask for many favors but losing these streaks really sucks.
Love,
Dick
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I'm going to call on people again. You've sat here for the last two days saying we have to be better.
Streaming your response to sexual assault accusations is disgusting.
Witwix was my friend....
We have to say fuck Witwix and fuck
@Twitch
if they don't take action.
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So I don’t normally tweet stuff like this but - I had my first lady visitor since Kim left and Covid started. She was fun and a great listener, she really seemed interested in me. When she was leaving she said thank you and that the census wouldn’t be bugging me again. ❤️
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You mean the days before people found out CSGO Lotto was a scam that you co owned?
I miss the way the gaming community used to be. It used to be about the love of gaming and spreading positivity.
Everyone these days just tries to bring each other down for their own personal gain.
It's disgusting.
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Alice “My dad is a Twitch streamer.”
Random kid “Does he drive a Lamborghini?”
Alice “No”
Random Kid “He isn’t a real streamer then.”
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A lot of you have been asking if I’d ever run another tournament. I might have to to do it...just to run it on the same days as his.
I’d call it “Tournament not hosted by a racist”
Name still needs a little work.
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It’s official I live on a lake and have 200 down/50 up. The dream.
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I was arrested as a teen for selling drugs.
While I was arrested a black man told the cops he heard gun shots. They said they’d look into it...waited for him to leave and exchanged slurs and rasicm.
I understand why you’re protesting
Burn the whole motherfucker if ya gotta.
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Me “No boyfriends unless they like fishing.”
Alice “Why don’t you get your own boyfriend that likes fishing ...instead of trying to steal mine?”
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We stopped at an animal shelter and might be adopting this girl...
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Me “Come here dumb dog.”
Alice “Are you talking to our dog or your Twitch friend?
@VeryDumbDog
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Alice - "Dad you look handsome".
Me- "Thank you! Nobody's called me handsome in awhile!"
Alice - "You haven't been handsome in awhile"
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I had a guy from my ISP in my house today. I was explaining I was a content creator as we walked into my bedroom/office. He asked “What kind of content do you make?” then immediately locked eyes on the camera and tripod I left setup from the marathon...the one pointing at my bed.
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My daughter just said at school they
“Dab for learning.”
Nope.
Pulling her from school.
She’s homeschooled now.
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I just had a dream where myself and
@NorthernlionLP
were at a garage sale and for some reason he convinced me to eat a VHS tape. The weird part of the dream was that I could taste the plot...so of course he had me keeping eating them and telling him how they tasted.
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I always feel like I don’t stream enough but I averaged 5 hours a day last year while being a single dad and homeschooling my daughter. I fucking rock.
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Let her shave my head and my beard. She says the mustache has to stay...
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My dad just got married. I'm not crying. You are crying!
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That’s it! I’m homeschooling my daughter!
I’m sorry that my daughter can see the REAL issue here. She isn’t distracted by your fake little problems.
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I have a daughter and she wants to be a content creator.
SHIT HAS TO CHANGE
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Just lost my fucking cool on an old man spewing shit about abortions, in my favorite restaurant, to anyone that would listen.
Didn’t even get to eat my breakfast. 😭
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You ever do something you think will be funny but ends up really painful instead?
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Alice “She’s the first female Vice President?”
Me “Yes. Do you want to be Vice President.”
Alice “Nope. I don’t want to deal with all those people.”
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Today marks eight amazing years with my best friend.
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Can be tough watching numbers decline and your discord and dms fall silent. This platform can be pretty fucking lonely when you’re struggling but…
Fuck them.
I feel good FINALLY and I’m going to keep going for those of you that still support me.
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@NorthernlionLP
@katelovelymomo
YOOOOOOO DAAAAAADDDD SQQQQUAAADDD!!!!
Sorry I’m overly excited. You’ll understand after you’re a dad.
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Hey Dudes,
Nobody is even setting the bar that high.
JUST DON'T BE A COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT
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Alice got me a random present...even used her own money! 😭
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Prepare for 1 million excited lake tweets. This is me on my deck where I’ll drink my
@Madrinas
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A debt collector just called and said I owe them 420.69 in unpaid medical debt. I laughed so hard they hung up.
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Alice was playing hide and seek and the girls that were looking for her got distracted and stopped seeking. So we snuck to the car and drove off.
Alice “If I see them again I’m going to pretend my names Elise and that my twin sister Alice got lost forever playing hide and seek.”
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I was informed recently that some people in my chat have been using whispers to harass women. Stop. I’ll ban you in every channel I’m a mod in.
If anyone in my chat is having issues, you can always message me directly.
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As much as I appreciate the people who took time to reach out and thank me for being a decent guy.
It’s sad as hell.
I’m not a rapist or a predator but that doesn’t deserve praise.
We should all be reflecting on that.
I know I’ve been a shitty partner before.
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Day 3 if quitting smoking. I have a super enhanced sense of smell and all of my neighbors smoke pot.
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Alice was very excited to buy me a present with her own money for Father’s Day this year. She got me this fishin’ hat.
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I was screaming and yelling in frustration earlier and Alice walks in and says..
"Thats how i feel when i mess up the letter G. You just got to keep trying dad."
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Obviously I can’t always talk about what’s going on in my life but I wanted you all to know that Alice told me to tell chat “Thanks for letting me have some time off.”
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I used to get excited when someone asked what I do for a living. Now it’s always a parent or teacher from Alices school.
Parent: What’s your Twitch name? My oldest loves Twitch!
Me: my stuff isn’t for kids
Parent: oh it’s fine! I’m sure!
Me: I just talk about cum.
Parent: oh
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I told my daughter I’d give her a dollar if she could catch 10 lightning bugs on our walk.
Now she keeps asking me if I have any new quests available.
I love my nerdy child.
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My seven year old daughter got ban from Roblox today. She used some heated gamer words.
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Alice wanted to see what my beard looked like in a few different styles...we ended up here.
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“Dad you’re not funny.”
“Then why do I have 14 million views!? I must be funny.”
“They find it funny how not funny your jokes are.”
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Thanks for the concern everyone we are trying to have a fun day anyway.
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Alice trying to read the word “container”
Cunt.
Cunt..
Cunt....
Cunt aye..
Cunt aye.....ner
Me:
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We done did it again. Don’t tell my partner but I absolutely carried today.
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Al- “Dad that kid said the C word!”
Me- “He said cunt?!?”
Al- “No he said....”
Me- “Go ahead and tell me.”
Al- “Crap...what is cunt?”
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This is how much my human bean has grown since I started streaming...
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Happy Birthday to the most amazing and beautiful person I've ever met. I love you Alice!
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Me “What do we use to lift fish into the boat?”
Alice “Your wimpy muscles?”
Me “No a net. We have to be careful lifting heavy fish because..”
Alice “Your wimpy muscles?”
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So teachers asked if I’d be interested in substituting as classroom aide.
Me “I might be interested.”
Them “Well we’d need you to go take a test first. It’s 55 dollars for the test. Oh and if you pass the pay starts around 11 an hour.”
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Cashier - “Your shirts buttoned wrong.”
Me - “Damnit!”
Cashier - holds out a dollar*
Me - confused with my entire torso exposed because I can’t figure out buttons “I didn’t pay with cash.”
Cashier - “It’s for the show.”
I don’t know how to function in public anymore.
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Alice’s mom jokingly told Alice to get a boyfriend whose family is rich.
Alice “Your boyfriend doesn’t even have a car.”
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I had to pick Alice up because her moms really sick. Alice gets in the car ..
Alice “Did you eat today?”
Me “….”
Alice “Did you deal with the bees?”
Me “…”
Alice “Dad!”
Me “I’m the parent.”
Alice “Are you?”
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I’m just going to keep posting dog pictures until y’all unfollow.
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Alice has become obsessed with going underwater...so much so that she was laying facedown in the tub. She told me to send a picture to her mom and of course I did....
...
...
I sent a picture of my daughter facedown in the bathtub with no context to my ex wife.
FailFish
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Alice killed a guy in Minecraft..
“Hey where’s me stuff?”
“You mean his stuff Alice?”
“Nope, my stuff.”
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Young cop “Your registration is expired.”
Me “Awe, I just had a birthday and forgot.””
Cop “Your birthday was 4 months ago.”
Me “At 31 4 months feels like two week.”
Cop “You’re 32.”
Me “Oh yea! It’s only been a couple weeks.”
Cop “Its been 4 ...Oh just get to the dmv.”
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An IRL person has decided it would be fun for them to drag my relationship details into my channel. So before you see it elsewhere.. I’m miserable. I’m broke. I’m pathetic. I’m not ashamed and Ill continue to try to be better. I’m sorry this has effected my streams.
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To the guy at Walmart that just asked if I was Richard Hammer. I’m sorry I lied but I’m in pajamas wearing slippers.
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Waitresses dad just sent me this out of the blue. 😭
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The last time I made this road trip was over a decade ago. I stopped and visit two of my favorite vanilla WoW guildies. Sadly both of them have since committed suicide. I was happy to see the diner we ate at was still open. Stopping for lunch.
Suicide sucks
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Happy Birthday to the most amazingly funny, smart, caring and beautiful girl in the world! I love you Alice and I’m so lucky to be your dad!
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A raccoon just fell out of a tree on top of my head. It almost knocked me unconscious.
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Alices mom just texted me
“So Alice got me addicted to this show but won’t let me watch any episodes you haven’t seen. She turned the TV off and left the room.”
My daughter is the best.
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Saying goodbye to my buddy was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m so happy he wandered into my life.
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Me “Alice your mom wants to know if you want to get together with Susan from school?”
Alice “Tell mom it’s not worth the risk. We already see enough people.”
My seven year old is more responsible than most Americans.
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Ten freakin years today. It is truly unbelievable that I ever got to make a living at this let alone for an entire decade. If you’ve ever watched I am eternally grateful. Thank you!
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