Jeff the Prick MBE 🏴☠ Lord Chief Woofstice
@RachelB87438635
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Cornish Boi/Judge on Wennesdays - Lord Chief Woofstice of the Supreme Court of Terriers Identifies as dog/doggo/boi/prick/dickhead/twat/sumtimes a sweet angel
Bude, Cornwall
Joined September 2018
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Am at my swimmin poo vis mornin, hopes yoo all about a gud day and stay cool pals *nods*.
#btposse
#dogsoftwitter
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Appy burpday to me, Appy burpday to meeeee!
The big 3 today....let's see wot treets vey hab in store fur me ?
*excited big boi ears*
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
#birthday
boy
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Todays is a momentum occasions....I AM 1 YEARS OLD !!!!
Whatever a burpday is , so far so gud 👌
#btposse
#jefftheprick
#bemorejeff
#birthdayboy
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Am out ! Bak on Friday fur vem to test 3 days ov poo. Dad lubs collectin it as its still runnee. Dad tuks me to see mum at her werks and we exchanged lots of kisses.
Fanks eberybuddy fur yor lub and supports.
#btposse
is ve best. ❤️
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Today is my mum's burpday - she is twenty eleven hunnered years old. Fanks mum for kissin me on my mouff, pulling grass out of my bum and loving me more van yor hoochildren. I may let yoo take me fur a walkies later!
#btposse
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Gud day of f*ckwittery - dwagged dad to ve beach and ran like a loon, got myself tangled in fishin wire and did a panic, borked at 5 bikes, 2 skateboards, twenty eleven seagulls and fell off ve sofa wen I fell asleep. 😁👍
#btposse
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Mum - "let's take a nice new year selfie"
Dad "OK stand here, with the sea for a backdrop, and you hold Jeff "
Jeff "you can't tame me, I m a wild beest and will fook up any pics yoo tries to take"
#MissionAccomplished
#btposse
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Last update of the night - vet wants to keep him in to get more fluids into him and get him to poop. His white blood cells were raised.
No Wise Werds Wennesday tomorrow until Jeff is back on his feet. House feels way too quiet and empty.
#btposse
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So far today - twenty elevun seaguls, free hoos, won cat and fifty twentee cars in ve street. Each won has been borked at feroshusly
#btposse
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It appeers my slave forgots it woz
#nationalpuppyday
yesterday - so as eber we are flyin in ve face ov trends and postin it today (well vats wot she sed). 😳
#btposse
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May have jumped at dad to get ve amazonian parcel from him and caught his testibles...
#btposse
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Hab'd a grate nite, listened to sum music, hab'd a few beers, pissed all over a ladees bag. This is my "zero f*cks given face".
#btposse
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Hi all ! Jeffs mum here. Sooo we are going to celebrate our daughters wedding in South Africa next week and will be away for 3 weeks - jeff is going to his grannmas. I haven't broken this news to him yet.....wish me luck ! 😬
#btposse
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Mum and me went running yesterday , mum slipped, saw her ankle go at right angle to her leg and heard a pop. Turns out she brokeded it. No walks wiv my mumma fur a wile 😫
#btposse
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Pupdate from Jeffs mum - they re keeping my favourite child in, he's on an iv to get fluids into him and to see what's going on.
My poor boy has been passing blood, tail down , ears back and even let me cuddle him. Will update you all when I hear what's happening.
#btposse
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Gon away fur won night in ve van fur my burpday. Lub vis sand in St ives for child trap diggin.
From Jeffs mum -we have come away for 1 night for our anniversary, but haven't the heart to tell him it's not all about him! 🙄
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
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Fur dogs sake - annuver won. Now I no how nankered superhooman must've bin - protecc vis families is hard werk *zorsted ears*
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
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Today I is for yers old ! Bring on ve treats and pressies !!! HBD to me !
#btposse
#dogsofx
#birthdayboy
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Today I mets up wiv my bruvver Frank. We haven't seened each ovver since we woz 8 weeks old. We fed fwom ve same mumma, cuddled together, played and learned about ve werld togevver until we went to our homes.
I wood say we struk gold wiv our hoos.
#BTPosse
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Well I woz handed over to mum & dad in a services car park at half past my beddie time. I woz bery pleased to see m&d , ven I remembereded to be cross, so I ignored vem all ve way back to home *proud ears* . am bak in my ritefool place doin proteccs.
#btposse
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Bum bit betterer - poo been sent off fur tests. Dad googlin how to sell a kidney......
#btposse
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I woz a bery sleepy boi las night , an even snored a bit.
Waking up in my gaff woz a bery appy feelin and I ran'd around wiv my ballie !
#btposse
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Mum an dad seys I am a poor excuse fur a dog.
Appawently ver is a local cat muggin me off - buggered if I can see it 🤷♀️
#btposse
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Am doing a bit of a sulk - not aloud me pressies till vey all get in from skool and work later. I did get a run on ve beech at 6am. Here is pics of my mum, me as a teeny puppin, and me regal in burfday crown !
#btposse
#happybirthdaytome
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Am sighing deeply - got told off and "thrown" into ve gardin as I valiantly tryed to do a protecc ov my hoos fwom a man bringing food to our howse. Had enuff ov vis unappreceeashun ov me borkins 😡
#btposse
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I cleerly hab not made my feelings Cleer about bein dragged out in ve rain.....
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
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So appawently halpin myselfs to treets while mum had a wee makes me a "greedy boi".....whoo noo ?
#btposse
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Yesterday we tuks mum to ve hoovets. No op needed on her paw, boot to stay on for 5 mor weeks, I fink I need to step up my game lukin after vese idiots , so fort I wood do navigate to get us home safely.
#btposse
#notallfurswearcapes
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Fur dogs sake....am sooooo gonna wipe my arse on her pillow when her bak is turned.
#btposse
#dogsontwitter
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Me twuly- 1 year ago today , afters a camping twip at Carbis bay!
#btposse
#jefftheprick
#bemorejeff
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Work in pwogress.....mum finks I need a hard hat when I am doin impawtant excavashun werk like vis.
#btposse
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Man down, man down......fort I d get mum up at 3 am to puke a cupple ov times. Feeling very sorry fur myself. Tail refuses to stay up or wag. Quiet day ahead me finks.
#btposse
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Goin to werk wiv dad fur a team bilding day todays Dad's team are ve lions.....not shur why he s felt ve need to dress me up like heckin Rod Stewart......
#btposse
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Hi fwends, hoomum has had sum bad noos - a bery gud fwend has taken his own life.....radio silence fur a foo days til she finds her mojo agen. Happy fur ve wise words on Wednesday to start rolling in 2 days ! 👍
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
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PAWTENT NOUNCEMENTS !
On Weddesdays I am goin to start *drum roll* - WISE WERDS WIV JUDGE JEFF.
Yoo dm me difficults situashuns yoo hab fownd yorself in, I will offer advice. I will anonymouse questions and post my advice on my page fur all furs to read.
#btposse
#dogsoftwitter
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Dey is at ve Airport in Naples (witch vey sey is bleddy chaos!) - vey be home sooooooon . Am at ve door waitin wiv me bag.
*hopeful ears*
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Today is my familees happyest day!
Mys gotcha day , 4 years ago. Vey be celebratin everee mknute today - tears of joy won minite followed by manical faffing.....
#btposse
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Mum woz waffling bout how grate Cat Stevens is yesterday.....keepin a bery close eye out fur vis cat.
#BTPosse
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Mum seys if I Don stop moaning bout ve cold , she gonna make me wear vis on our nex walkies...
Send halp.
#btposse
#DogsOnTwitter
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Pubic service annownsement- furs if you go to my beach pleese watch out fur my latest child traps. Do NOT show vis to any hoochillnren 😉
#btposse
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Fanks fur all ve kindness it woz tuch and go but after puking 5 times on the carpet (mum woodnt let me eat it agen) , I seem to be fully recovered and living the life ov a prince. Order has bin restored.
#btposse
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Am mush discusted- bein left home alone cos -
Vey don't want me getting too hot
Vey want to listen to moosic wivvout me borkin fru it
Don wan me borkin at ovver dogs
Don wanna share ver pizza.
Not appy
#btposse
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Gub morning, all reddy fur Wise Werds Wennesday, once I have finished bein a bunny. Judge Jeff, Lord Chief Woofstice is reddy to halp yoo all.
#btposse
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Nice dip vis morning, mum and hoosis ar 'bery tired', and mum sed maybe her raving days ar over ? I fink she shood act her age - twenty eleven billionty!
#btposse
#DogsofTwittter
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Mum came out on our walk today wiv no boot !! I did show er all my imports werk I hab bin doin on ve beach fur all turm.
#btposse
Ps she was sooooo slow 🐌 😴
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Vis day in 2020 I choosed my familee over a zoom call .....from vis day I started my planning total dominashun over vem. So far so gud 👍
#btposse
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Soooo appawently vis is not an appropreeate way to show mum how mush you lub her ?? Whoo new eh?
#btposse
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They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
#btposse
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Took dad fur a nice walkies from Northcott to Sandymouth yesterday, tuk it gentle wiv him cos he's getting old.
#btposse
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Morning, is time fur wise werds wennesday wiv Lord Chief Woofstice Judge Jeff! *disclaimer - vis pic was taken wen is woz sunny*
#btposse
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Vis is mys fortful, aftershave advert pose... moody, mystewious and smokin hot. Eau de sheep shit and sea water.....au savidge.
#btposse
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Mornin ! Luks like it's gonna be a beaut of a day. I misbehaved yesterday, dad sed I borked at everyfin vat moved. I was in degraced.....do I care ???
#btposse
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Hoosis and hoobro in law are arrivin today - mum seys not yet. I m just gonna sit here and wait....(and steam up ve window)
*expectant ears*
#btposse
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Top tip toosday, lads if yor testibles gets a bit warm, I find dipping vem in bery cold Atlantic sea water in Jan really halps.
Fur mor top tips follow Jeff *nods knowlingly*
#btposse
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Omd, ver as bin a muuuurder, sok monkey has bin in our famlee since my burfday in Apwil. Ope yoo are not squeeemish - I jus strolled into ve room and there he woz. Need sum tome to process. RIP sok monkey. 🙏
#btposse
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Off to ve vethairyman vis mornin to see if it's anyfin fysical vats makin me weird ! 🤞 Dad dus seem happy cos he lubs a vetty bill 🙈
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Got out earlee vis mornin to get ve child traps dugged. 4 bery deep, strategically placed prepped fur ve day ahead. *proud ears*.
#btposse
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Jus knok'd vis up on vis budiful mornin - no meen feet I can tell ya, wivout opposable thumbs.
#btposse
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Is gud to see ve werld from a different perspectively sumtimes.
Wise Werds Wennesday is here agen wiv Lord Chief Woofstice Judge Jeff!
#btposse
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Wen to see nice vetty man, I hab an upper respiwatory infecshun. Lots of medisin and rest. Vetty man sed I will hab bin feelin ruff. Mum feels bad for finkin I hab a kangaroo lose in my top padock ! Fanks fur all yor gud wishes pals xxx
#btposse
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Trip to vettyhairyman.....cud vis week get any werser?
Wongly accussed, goin to be replaced wiv a labrador, now had a bummage rummage.
Pay bak is it cost hoos £65 and got sum yummy paste to eat 🖕
#btposse
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Old hoomum is even older today, sum wood say older than most trees , so hab taken her out and let her share her cake wiv me. I m nice like vat !
#btposse
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Pleased to reports vat my testibles ar still intact despite my idiot hoos takin me out in vis yesterday, win NO coat on ... seething 😡
#btposse
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Hi fwends , feeling a bit unner ve wevver today. Bounce has gone walkies, runny nose (no coff fank dog) and lots of tail down/ears back. Off to vettyman tomorrow if no better 😩
#btposse
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Sound asleep , but herd ve familiar beepin ov an introoder fud delivery van in ve street....
Be alert, always
#btposse
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