The Pupusa Lawyer 🫓
@PupusaLawyer
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(He/his) First-gen Latino lawyer. ⚖️🇸🇻 My views are my own and don’t reflect those of my employer. Pomsky & snek dad. 🐕🐍 Bubble tea addict. #lawtwitter
DC Metro Area
Joined December 2010
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I remember hearing the word “outline” for the first time during my first week of law school. As a first-gen student, I had ZERO clue what that meant. No one seemed to have a solid definition or explanation.
So, here is what I eventually internalized as an “outline”:
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Law school will instill imposter syndrome only for you to later realize that a LOT of practicing attorneys are just winging it.
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Me: Good morning, and may it pleasure the Court.
Court: What
Me: What
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I need attorneys to turn off their “Auto-Argue” settings for basic conversation.
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I don’t know what legal professional needs to hear this, but being hot isn’t unprofessional.
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Clerking is basically a year of realizing that too many lawyers are winging it for you to have imposter syndrome.
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Law school doesn’t do the best job in exposing students to the metric ton of practice areas that exist, especially some of the oddly niche ones.
Law Schools: Litigation or transactional law? 👀
Practicing Lawyers: Yeah, so I specialize in boa constrictor law.
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Instead of saying “IDGAF,” courts say “we lack subject matter jurisdiction.” I think that’s beautiful.
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My girlfriend advised me that International Shoe Co. v. Washington, 326 U.S. 310 (1945), is not a good bedtime story. I am baffled but undeterred.
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Anyone who needs my law school outlines can have them. I don’t buy into the whole “we had to suffer and make them, so why not them too” mentality. Please get sleep.
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1L Me: Wait, what is going on?
Lawyer Me: Wait, what is going on? but Esquire.
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Friend: What exactly is a tort?
Me: *chugs drink* So it all started with this fucking train.
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“Babe are you okay? You’ve barely touched your Bluebook cake.”
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It’s not an exaggeration to say that the last two years of SCOTUS decisions uprooted half of what I learned in my constitutional law courses. Perhaps I now have standing to sue based on wasted tuition.
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Just waiting on a federal court to finally admit that reasonable suspicion is just when cops think “the vibes are off.”
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The Discovery Channel, but it’s just lawyers emailing each other that they didn’t get all the documents they asked for.
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Person: Can I get legal advice?
Me: Bro, even my regular advice is questionable.
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Your Honor, the single, narrow issue on appeal is “what the fuck?”
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Torts, but it’s just Shrek quotes:
Assumption of Risk — “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
Trespass — “What are you doing in my swamp?!”
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Your law degree doesn’t justify being an asshole. Please be courteous and respectful to the (often underpaid) office clerks who literally run the courthouse.
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Establishment lawyers can’t wrap their heads around why new generation lawyers increasingly want a better work-life balance.
The reason is simple—we actually enjoy seeing our friends and family more than once a year. Also, hear me out, maybe burnout culture isn’t productive.
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Civil Procedure, but it’s just Mean Girls quotes:
Venue: “She doesn’t even go here!!”
Forum Selection Clauses: “Get in loser, we're going shopping.”
Personal Jurisdiction: “Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.”
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Please sleep, law students. I’m a first gen lawyer born to a Latino family that imposed a bootstrap mentality on me. I recognize it’s hard to accept the word “rest” and when all you know is “hard work.” Reject burnout culture. Get some sleep. You will be so much better for it.
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You can be a good lawyer without making work your entire personality. I’d go a step further and argue that having a healthy work-life balance make you a better attorney overall.
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Duty. Breach. Causation. Harm. Long ago, the four elements lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when jurisdictional differences attacked. Only common sense, master of all four elements could stop them. But when the world needed it most, it vanished.
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Law school adversely possessed the joy in life. All that remains is coffee, wine, and spite.
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Family: So what do you do as a lawyer?
Me: Go outside and scream. Then I go back into the office and email people to send me documents that they should’ve given me ages ago.
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Lobsters are biologically immortal, which renders RAP inapplicable. In my essay, I will explain why conveying property to your pet lobster for a life term can help your long term plans.
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I passed the UBE last year after studying for ~8 weeks. I was explicitly told this was self-sabotage. Yet, I took almost all of May to decompress because I knew I needed it. This is how I did it: 🧵 (1/16).
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May the record reflect that “I need future students to remain in debt to validate my struggle with my own student debt” is a shitty take.
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For students worried about LSAT scores, don’t be. They have zero bearing on your law school performance. I got a 142 after studying my ass off in a full time job with no other resources available to me as a first gen student. Yet, here I am. You’ll be fine.
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Imagine your poor self dumps $3K (rent $$) on a 2-3 month course. That course sets you up for a remote exam that may determine whether you stay poor or not—and it crashes. Best part, the administrators say “oops, just restart your computer, teehee. Sucks if you lost time.”
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I passed the bar exam.
What I feel isn't joy but relief from anxiety. That's unhealthy. No one should feel relief that they don't have to repeat this godawful experience over the feeling that they get to join the legal profession.
Fuck this exam. Abolish it.
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Law School: *shows me how to do legal research and writing*
Me: This is literally just “higher than thou” Googling.
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Hearsay in a nutshell: As a matter of public policy, we don’t want out-of-court statements used for the truth of the matter asserted, unless they fall under at least one of a ✨handful✨ of exceptions. *whips out CVS receipt of exceptions*
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Something about the NCBE forcing students to disregard the massive changes in constitutional seems evil. I get it’s administratively simpler, but it definitely undermines the (already weak) argument that bar prep teaches graduates real law.
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I really spent 3 years getting a law degree just so I could send emails all day. 🥴
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Everyone: Oh your dog is so cute! What’s her name?
Me: Erie!
Everyone: Like… the lake?
Me: *takes a shot* So it all started with this fucking train.
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Law Schools: What do you mean you’re anxious and depressed because of us? We specifically told you it’ll be okay in an email and even set up Zoom yoga.
Law Students: 🤨😒🙃😑
Law Schools: Is this a bad time to say we’re increasing tuition?
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You really can’t win with some family members.
Me: I’m finally a lawyer!
Person: Yeah, but are you married yet?
Me: 🙄 🙄
Person: When are you having kids?
Me: ✨L✨A✨W✨Y✨E✨R✨
Person: Child and wife? When??
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In honor of a DM encouraging me to frame law school in a more positive light because “it can’t be ALL bad right? You’re exaggerating.” Here’s a thread on experiences that confirmed law school was a toxic environment. These are all things that need to change.
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Law school instantly gets better the moment you stop feeding into the burnout and anti-altruism culture. You're allowed to be a person.
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IDK what prospective law student needs to hear this, but it is OKAY to focus more on a school's financial feasibility, geographic proximity, and general influence in your chosen market over SOLELY rankings. Lawyers with great jobs across the market come from various schools.
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I don’t want firms with zero Latino attorneys to say “you’d be a good fit for our immigration practices area” when I express interest in other fields. No employer should pigeonhole us into practice areas simply because of our ethnic background.
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Law ruined trains for me. Now I hop into them and immediately think “I AM THE LAW OF TORTS.” — or something reasonably close to that.
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The Pupusa LAWYER, Esq. Just a first generation Latino lawyer living his best life.
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Hello, I am the Pupusa Lawyer. I am your Civ. Pro. professor. We begin with jurisdiction. As we go along, it’ll be a bit personal, but I assure you that it’s important to the subject matter. We’re here to promote a diversity of thought and I’ll answer all your (federal) questions
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I came to law school to build a future only to leave wanting to dismantle the entire legal system. What a concept.
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How law schools make you feel about applying to jobs:
Law Schools Day 1: Don’t worry, you should focus on the here and now.
Also Law Schools: Now that a day has passed, apply to literally everything in your field of interest. Please have 10 years of experience and a 5.50 GPA.
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Stop shaming law students/lawyers (esp. first gen) for having fun with law and making law jokes. Imagine working your ass off to even have access to this knowledge just for some killjoy to say “don’t make it your personality.” Let people enjoy things.
Thanks,
Management
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Now that I’m a lawyer, my goal is simple. VENGEANCE—I mean, wholesome changes in the legal profession. ☺️
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May you find on-point case law. May your salary increase. May your clients thank and pay you. May your pending cases and deals reach favorable outcomes. May your email inbox be silent over the weekend. May your workload be light. May your favorite places have robust discounts.
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Yikes. Not this administration thinking everyone with professional degrees categorically has absurdly high income. This is how you purposely an disproportionately permit first gen professionals fall through the cracks.
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Bar prep did absolutely nothing to prepare me for the workforce. Bar prep didn’t familiarize me with law I didn’t already know. It didn’t teach me how to research or write better. The penchant for “making up” what I don’t know doesn’t exactly translate into real work either.
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Discovery disputes are the legal version of AITA.
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Do not email me while I’m at home. I will not respond. Do not email me while I’m on vacation. I will not respond. And, frankly, do not email me at work. I will not respond.
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Maryland lawyers to their clients: “Please, have a seat. We have much to discuss.”
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The one thing I got out of journal is that law schools put disproportionately high emphasis on citations when several practitioners couldn’t be bothered to care. See Bull v. Shit, 3 W.T.F. 55 (2021).
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Law students to themselves: “AITA for wanting to sleep?”
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Law School: Attorneys must strictly adhere to the Rules™️ or they risk dismissal.
Actual Trial Courts: “Meh, I’ll allow it.” - the Judge putting substance over form, probably.
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Today’s a wonderful day to abolish the bar exam. Imagine learning (generally) oversimplified, inaccurate versions of real laws only for an exam prep lecturer to tell you to make up anything you can’t remember.
Smells like diet malpractice.
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If you’re in law school, please indulge on your hobbies. Watch that show or movie. Work out. Read that book. Sleep in! Abolish the bar exam. Visit that friend. Drink some water. Tend to your plants. Walk your pet gator.
It’s all good for the mind and soul, friendos!
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Can you imagine if lawyers went to court and confidently made up laws in front of judges because they weren't allowed to have notes? No? So we agree that a closed book exam testing substantive knowledge doesn't actually focus on competency.
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Dear prospective law students,
Your undergrad major isn’t a dealbreaker for law school. It isn’t an indicator of aptitude. I’m an art major and excelled as a first generation student. You’re all capable souls. Pursue law if that’s what you want.
Thanks you,
Welcoming Managment
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PSA: You’re allowed to relax and breathe in law school. Self care isn’t a “luxury” as unhealthy people frame it to be. It’s not synonymous with lazy. It’s not synonymous with lack of productivity. Self care is the breaks that keeps you from burning out on your road to success.
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Problematic Shit in Law School: During OCI, my school gave me a call after a series of long interviews just to tell me that they felt my clothes were unprofessional. How?? These were the same clothes I used in my job before law school when I was IN THE COURTROOM with judges. 1/🧵
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Thread Rant: I really need (mainly) established white attorneys to stop trying to mask the bar exam as an appropriate means of gauging competency. It's openly classist and racist by virtue of how it disproportionately keeps capable BIPOC graduates out of the profession. 🧵
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Me when I find precedent that is broad and ambiguous.
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I need law schools to discipline and fire racist/sexist professors instead of playing “How To Train Your Bigots” every semester.
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I can’t respect people who abandon their anti-bar exam rhetoric once they pass the bar exam. You want to put the exam behind you, while leaving it as a needless barrier for other graduates? That’s not activism or progression. It’s conformity.
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Some legal employers: So… we expect to work you to death. Hope you’re okay with that.
Sensible Attorneys: No. ❤️
Those employers: Wait… *checks script* can they do that? Wait, COME BACK, we have weekly jeans day!
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I think career development offices in law schools need to own up to their preferential treatment of top 10-20% students. Yeah, I get it, the resumes look attractive, but have you considered that attorneys who weren’t in that GPA range are often equally if not more capable?
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Some Lawyers: These new lawyers are soft. Look at me! I no longer need sleep. I acquire nutrients by photosynthesis. My spouse and I enjoy a healthy long-distance relationship where I email them a premade template at exactly 2:00 p.m. They live 5 min from here!
Me: Seek help.
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Although I hated firm life, I was convinced that a law firm was the only feasible path for me, esp. b/c I was a first-gen. Latino and had student loan debt. My school pushed me toward firms b/c I had good grades. I’m glad I chose a position in government instead. Here’s why: 🧵
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Me as a Law Professor: Welcome to Constitutional Law 101. Before we begin, does anyone have any questions?
Student: Why do you have a coffin on your desk?
Me: Here lies our dearly departed civil rights. I anticipate more will follow, so I keep the coffin ready.
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I love that there’s increasingly less patience for older, rigid lawyers who don’t believe in young lawyers having personalities. What a concept.
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When I say “🔥 📝 👨⚖️ ⚖️🔥”
I mean “abolish the bar exam.”
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Person: If you were in private practice, you’d probably be fire for failing to have a Partner’s lunch ready when they ask for it.
Me: Uhhh, is that really a place I’d want to work where something so arbitrary and frivolous gets you fired?
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What if I started a coalition of attorneys solely dedicated to systematically ending the bar exam in each jurisdiction?
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Law professors will tell you to have a school-life balance and then assign <too many> pages of reading. Meanwhile, they only actually cover about 5 pages of material and find some way to sneak a snarky comment about the students who use Quimbee knowing damn well they get A’s
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My absolute favorite thing during OCI was how many interviewers told me I'd be a great fit for their pro bono immigration cases without me ever even hinting an interest in that field.
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You’re asking me to be emotionally prepared to WORK tomorrow? On this Year of ✨Self Care✨?? Rude.
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For those interested in law school but feeling like they need more time—that’s perfectly valid. After undergrad, I took 2 years off to work b/c I was poor with an unstable, toxic home. I attribute my current success to my decision to hold off.
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I’m really going to be the first lawyer in my family—a family of immigrants who broke their backs and spirits just to give me a chance at a better life. That’s a lot. I’m simultaneous grateful, but also saddened that I’ll be only one of about 4% like me in the profession.
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Friend: How many brain cells do you have?
Me: After law school? Twelve…
Friend: That’s really specific—
Me: —(b)(6). I have 12(b)(6) brain cells.
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For those curious, these were the clothes in question. May the record reflect that my judge said I looked spiffy in these and that red was my power color. I'm inclined to agree. I mean, they no longer fit me, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 8/🧵<end>
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Something about a predominantly white court forcing every constitutional test to focus on U.S. “history and tradition” doesn’t really bode well for *checks notes* anyone who isn’t a white man.
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Frankly, I consider it an act of violence that e-mails find me in the first place. The audacity.
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My mentors and I have always disagreed on one point—the need for a work-life balance in the legal profession. My mentors have all stated that it is impossible to have one. Some have even suggested that pursuing such a balance indicates laziness. Both claims are false.
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I want to emphasize the “✨happily✨ childless” part. Kids are an absolute no-go for me. If that is ever a hope in your future (completely valid if it is!!), I am 100% not the guy for you. I do not entertain “but maybe I can change your mind” conversations. Please move on.
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In summary:
Don't come for me and my spiffy clothing, unless you're ready to give me a stipend to upgrade my wardrobe. I am POOR, so excuse me for not being a fashion expert. However, I CAN smell racial ignorance a mile away. Keep that shit away from me.
Thanks,
Management.
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Good afternoon to everyone, especially short women. May your spite fester. May you gain all the power you seek. May those who mock your height be socially and professionally cut down to size. May your plants grow and your pets be extra affectionate.
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My contribution to My Family Has Impossible Standards™️ is that my dad genuinely believes I could’ve gone straight to law school after high school. In his mind, I wasted his money by first going to undergrad. “You should’ve been an established lawyer years ago.” 🥴🙃
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Attorneys will flex that they’ve “practiced since before you were born” and then get yelled at in court for sloppy work. 🥴 We love to see it.
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The Supreme Court ruled (6-3) that the Constitution runs off of conservative vibes. In Bull v. Shit (2022), authored by Justice Alito, the Court outlines its stance on civil rights: “It’s time to set the clock back. Stare decisis doesn’t apply if it’s 1780.”
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Dear lawyers,
Empathy for your clients and your case's facts does NOT make you unfit to practice law.
Thanks,
Management
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I think we need to address the elephant in the room. Its likely that bar prep & bar exam satisfy definitions of "trauma." A lot of us have lost weight, suffered panic attack(s), lost connection with friends/family, and have worsened pre-existing MH conditions. We aren't okay.
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Someone encouraged me to “tone things down a bit” and to think of my future career.
Let’s be clear: As a Latino in the legal profession, I have no duty to make myself more palpable to people who benefit (directly or indirectly) from my oppression.
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