participation trophy husband
@PrestonHoopes
Followers
770
Following
215K
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I'm not like the girls who say they're not like the other girls. I'm like the girls who the other girls say they're not like. (he/him)
Flavortown, USA
Joined August 2011
This is my pinned tweet. It's the best I could do.
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The Strange Beauty of Earthbound’s Master Belch
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The Go Off Kings @jeffstick41.
People should make cool team names with their OCs or Mutuals like Mario Party
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Nobody:.Your unemployed friend at 11:15AM on a Monday: scores 625 points in a game of Scrabble 😤
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Can’t believe I haven’t seen this one yet
which Onion headline still occupies a lot of space in your mind? I have many, but I think about this one a lot
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I know this really annoying guy that kind of sucks but he just posted a pro-Eagles graphic on his Insta story so suddenly he’s not all that bad.
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RT @mountbellyache: Hey Ya is maybe the best song of all time and also not Outkast’s best song.
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I think the worst thing I’ve heard on TV was a commercial that said “Brace your urethra for turbulence.” Like how was that allowed.
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Throwing my two cents into the ring of the “worst song of all time” discussion with Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting.
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Is this a safe space to admit that I actually kind of like the Jardiance theme song.
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They tore down the Chuck E. Cheese by my parents’ house and built a Fine Wine and Good Spirits store in its place. The neighborhood is really growing up with me.
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I’ve been called “one of the girls” by many women, but I have yet to be invited to a bachelorette party. This is why I refuse to Venmo anyone that posts a “buy the bride a drink!” thing on their Insta story.
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RT @DylanHolt_: I love referring to my favorite team as “they” when things are going bad and then saying “we” when things go well.
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I decided to mash this up with one of my favorite pieces of classical music and make a beat out of it, stay tuned to see if I rap over it.
This would be an insane opener for an edit ngl.
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On the rare occasions I watch Wheel of Fortune, I can’t stand it when a player cheers for their opponent’s good spins or congratulates an opponent’s solved puzzle. These people are your enemies for half an hour of your evening. Act like it.
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When I was 14 I entered my actual password into a website that claimed to be a “password strength checker.” It said my password was very strong, which is why I was shocked when my accounts were compromised just days later.
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Hi, yeah, I’m the audio engineer in charge of recording the music you get while you’re on hold on the phone. Some would say I’m dogshit at my job, but I just like the sound of static.
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Got Chinese food tonight and my fortune cookie was EMPTY. It’s so over 😔.
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