Poppy
@PoppyD
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Can I go to bed yet?
Cheshire, England
Joined May 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Explained to my boys that we were listening to “a banger” in the car the other day and now they obsessively review each song that comes on the radio when we are driving. “Is this a banger?” “This IS a banger”.
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Slept with all the windows wide open and just woke up to two pigeons in my bedroom so yes I am ready for the heatwave to be over. And no, “pigeons” is not slang for “hot guys” I mean actual flapping and squawking FILTHY LONDON PIGEONS ONE OF WHICH WAS ACTUALLY ON MY BED.
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I highly recommend having a partner who isn't on Twitter because you get to pass off a LOT of good jokes as your own.
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Amazing overheard in Starbucks:
Woman "This CD has looped three times."
Barista "Maybe you should work from a real office then?"
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I want the
#LoveIsIand
producers to send Dani to the hideaway with a stash of cheese toasties and then show her all of Jack’s Casa Amor loyalty highlights on a big screen and then he’d walk in (ideally in Prince Eric whites) and they’d live happily ever after 💞💞💞
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If you've not switched over to Twitter Night Mode yet prepare to have your world changed🌚(Click settings on profile)
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Channel 4 should rename this show as "Josie's Agent: Scummiest Prick in Britain?"
#JosieCunningham
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Easily the best thing I've read in ages. The story behind the inventor of the Super Soaker:
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When my boys were babies I had a lot of support on ~social media~ from kindly folk so I thought I would share how they are doing now, on their third birthday.
Overall: delightful chaos. Feels like there’s ten of them. Funniest blokes I know. Charming but Take No Shit.
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Two doctors who know life is too short, so why wait? Turns out a 15 person wedding can still be perfect; romantic and intimate with all focus on what truly matters. Congratulations to my gorgeous little sister
@heather_dinsey
who I will always be endlessly proud of 💕
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I know ASOS is a young demographic but surely they could have used a *slightly* older model?
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As Katy Perry takes the
#xfactor
stage, now is a good time to re-read that BRILLIANT open letter by
@robdelaney
http://t.co/dVVanlL7yc
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I spent months trawling charity shops, online resellers & international collector clubs to find a specific (long discontinued) Hot Wheels truck for my son. Today a waiter put a single strawberry slice in his tap water and declared it “the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me”
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For my old insta friends who were following my
#2020in2020
journey to try and ride 2020 miles this year, I reached the half way point this morning two months ahead of schedule ✨ I’m now at 1017.8 miles ridden! (Only 0.4 of those were ridden with youngest twin on my lap 🤦🏻♀️)
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On Wednesday our oven stopped heating up. AEG wanted £140 to send someone to fix it but I wanted to try it myself and so after some googling and YouTubing....HELLO 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 (I gave birth to twins but still might be prouder of the fact my oven is currently 200 degrees?)
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This would always have been a lovely afternoon, but feels particularly poignant after the last year of lockdowns. (My mum’s neighbour - 80s - built this additional carriage especially for my lads - 3 - so they could ride round his garden whilst we were visiting this weekend)
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My just turned three year old son, obsessed with but also seemingly terrified of sharks, was just caught whispering to himself “it’s ok, we are not in the sea, we are on the land” to calm himself down and I CANNOT 😭😭😭😭
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Bloody nora just seen a Louis Tomlinson vid (not seen/heard the song before) and mortified by how much I seem to LOVE HIM? The styling is 😍😍
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My resolution for 2020 was to cycle 2020 miles. Wasn’t sure I’d get there with closed nurseries and a lockdown with my bike the other end of the country but I bloody well did it. 3431.16 miles in fact. Made myself a trophy because why fucking not?
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As a leather-wearing waxed feminist vegetarian, I agree wholeheartedly w/ today's Dolly Mail
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I know they're not very "trendy" in today's food world but a slow cooked jacket potato, crispy skinned, is one of life's greatest pleasures.
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Ok 47 year old Maria, you're going to need to share all your skincare secrets immediately 😍
#firstdates
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I know more experienced parents will tell me Elf on the Shelf is a living nightmare but I wanted kids for forever and now that they are three I am going IN. They’ll be meeting Elf tomorrow morning and I’m not sure *I* will sleep I’m so excited.
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MY HUSBAND DIDN'T KNOW THAT RAISINS ARE DRIED GRAPES. HE WENT TO OXFORD UNIVERSITY. EXCUSE ME WHILE I NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT.
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@Philippa_Perry
Doing a fortnightly shop rather than going to Sainsbury’s twice a day which is what I used to do pre lockdown like some sort of Sainsbury’s stalker? And with two toddlers in tow! No wonder they actually like lockdown, they’re not being dragged to buy bread every 30 seconds.
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Couldn’t find my son, turned out he’d taken himself back to bed. I would now like to submit the evidence in the form of this accidentally beautiful photo. Thank you.
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Anyone else wearing jeans for the first time in weeks and realising all the heatwave magnums *did* count?
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I like how Twitter says "while you were away..." as if I'm ever not constantly looking at my phone.
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Getting actual Beyoncé tickets was easier that getting this sodding Ivy Park headband 🤔🤔🤔🤔
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To answer questions coming in from ~overseas~ no we don’t have AC in England and no we don’t have screens on our windows. Just pigeons. Watching. Waiting.
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My BFF bought me the M&S advent calendar and every day I send her a snap of my delight so she has a horrific advent calendar of her very own
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I can’t reactivate my old Instagram account so posting this here instead on the off-chance some of the women I used to chat to are here too.
To the mums in my phone with kids starting school 💕
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I don’t know how you can have an earworm of something you’ve never heard but a few weeks ago I imagined a
@mralistairgreen
character saying “Mary, Mary, hmmmm, quite contrary int she?” and it’s been on loop ever since. (How DOES her garden grow? *sassy judgemental brow raise*)
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Moved across the country to give my boys a better life, led a team of brilliant women to a podium finish in a global cycling challenge, raised more than £50k for charity, made new wonderful friends, got my funny gorgeous lads to age 3, did my first century ride…enjoyed it all 💕
this year was rough - brag on yourself a bit :)! what did you accomplish this year?
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Today on the blog I'm talking about why I think black cabs are great and how I'll never get the appeal of Uber
http://t.co/k71SMwMM2y
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Anyone else bored by assumption "the youth" only voted Corbyn because of uni fees? Young ppl can care about NHS/police/schools/other ppl too
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Perhaps I'm the last person to discover this but OMG A PROFESSIONAL PASTRY CHEF VERSION OF GBBO STARTS ON
@BBCTWO
TONIGHT 🎉🍰🎉
#GBBOCreme
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I know I created these sassy monsters but to be told to “maybe do some deep breaths” by my THREE YEAR OLDS after telling them I’m getting cross with their bathtime splashing is a bit 🙃🙃🙃🙃
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@jimsyjampots
told my parents back in June that someone I knew on Twitter works on a game with Jack Sparrow and my dad has found it and downloaded it 🥺 Just dug up his first treasure chest. My heart!
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Me: “Do you want some carrot?”
2y.o: “Carrot cake?”
Wow kids really are just miniature versions of ourselves huh
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It took til 4:30 but I just achieved the 3am feed and change marathon without a single tear from either twin so yes, I probably am Beyoncé
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I have moved to a house which has a dishwasher with an adjustable top shelf which means after seven years of owning them I can finally stop washing my enormous dinner plates by hand. Worth moving just for that to be honest.
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Exceptionally aware that this is the last birthday we’ll get away with such modesty, but for his 3rd birthday my son has asked for a single chocolate coin 😭😭😭
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I still can’t believe the shape of this bloody tree once we de-netted it. I feel bad to say it’s too chunky but I CAN’T SEE THE FIREPLACE.
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“We can still watch it because it’s still coming home…just later”
😭😭😭😭😭
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Our new house has curtains. We’ve always had blinds. Every morning at 5am, T1 storms into my bedroom and throws the curtains open and shouts “morning time. Clothes on. Get UP” and it’s pitch black outside and completely draining me but I have to admire the Angry Mum energy.
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If you follow me on insta you’ll have already seen me wang on about this but I have blonde hair as of lunchtime. Thank you for your time.
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If you've not seen Blackfish (the harrowing but important documentary on SeaWorld/captive killer whales) then it's on BBC4 at 9pm tonight.
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Oh and I do like birds! A lot! Here is a penguin picking at my trainers, a toucan who I shared some grapes with, an extremely badass owl I met in San Sebastián and a bateleur eagle who was heavier than I expected. (Still don’t want a pigeon in my bed though)
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Obviously I’ve not had a wee on my own for nearly three years now but the upside of potty training is at least I now get rapturous applause and a “GOOD BOY MUMMY! HIGH FIVE” every time I go. Am achieving zero else right now but weeing unassisted? Level expert.
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We adopted kittens this evening! Please meet Eric (Cantona) and Mary (Earps). We love them 🥹
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Ugh. My name is on Katie Hopkins' approved list. *CHANGES NAME TO CHARMAINE-PEPSI-TOYOTA-LUANNE*
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Feel like a lot of emphasis is put on first words/first steps and not enough on this truly brilliant milestone: being able to get your kid to put your phone on charge.
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“HOW can they want to watch the same episode of Peppa Pig over and over again? And miss out on so many other things!!! I know toddlers like predictability but this has to be insane. OUR CHILDREN ARE DEFECTIVE”
Me, a few hours later: “Oooooh the Vegas episodes of Friends are on”
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Upturned my bag to get all the crap out the bottom. Forget your staged blog posts, THIS is what's really in handbags:
http://t.co/nsI9STVwSd
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@inthecompanyof
I have twin toddlers who I look after full time at home and live in central London. I don’t have the luxury of cycling outside. While my children sleep I ride hundreds of miles on my Peloton each month instead. I would love a road bike, but nobody is saying they’re the same thing
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If you’re struggling with a baby or small toddler please know that one day they will watch a whole film relatively quietly. You will need to throw in snacks fairly frequently but it will happen. You’ll get there.
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Just had my first ever almond croissant and why the effing jeff did nobody ever tell me they have a WORLD CLASS HEAVENLY ALMOND PASTE INSIDE?! Argh. All this time wasted thinking they were just regular croissants with flaked almonds on top. Damn.
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Men who tell women to "cheer up love". They're a special breed of prick aren't they?
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Sis was checking arrivals schedule at the airport to see when parents arrive and look who is flying in later ☺☺☺
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Still laughing about the fact my son cried that “Santa’s love is too spicy” last night.
(For much needed context, he was eating a heart shape Haribo at the time and he refers to all hearts as “Santa’s love”. He also describes anything he doesn’t like eating as “spicy”.)
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Six hour drive home from Manchester was totally worth it to witness a buzzard drop a rabbit into a convertible on the M6.
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It’s really cold in our lounge this morning so I excitedly told the boys I had a treat for them. Returned triumphantly with some new cosy slippers I’d been hiding in a cupboard and, looking thoroughly disappointed, they both just said.... “you can’t eat that”.
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Evolution of an accent: we’ve lived in the North West for four weeks now and my fickle son has already started saying “grass” instead of “grass” and “path” instead of “path”. “Bath” still holding strong. (I will not concede by spelling phonetically, you all know what I mean)
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I’ve been trying to find something community based to turn my hand to since moving up here and from September, assuming I pass all the checks, I’m going to be a Unit Helper at Brownies! I am so excited 🥰
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How some people react to death makes me presume they're in the exceptionally rare & privileged position of having never lost anyone at all.
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Packing a four plug extension lead and therefore just one travel plug remains a top tier holiday tip 🙏
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“This is my fave episode”
“I can’t believe you have a favourite episode of this”
“Bing walks in front of the swing and gets kicked in the face”.
Ahhhh that makes much more sense.
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Occasionally I get emails from all the organic weaning websites I signed up for when my boys were 6 months and they “helpfully suggest” new recipes we may want to try as if they don’t now subsist solely on quavers and mini rolls.
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