Paul
@PaulOnBooks
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Lives with imaginary hamster, argues with him at the breakfast table. Truss crash test dummy.
England
Joined March 2011
Liz Truss and her companions drank two bottles of dry gin, three £153 bottles of Pazo Barrantes Albariño, a Spanish white wine and two bottles of the French red Coudoulet de Beaucastel at £130 a bottle. At a working lunch. On expenses. At a Tory donor's establishment.
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On the left, what Nigel Farage saw. On the right, what the camera saw.
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King Charles has decided to adopt a different crown symbol, necessitating changes to, amongst other things, post boxes, police uniforms and official buildings. Not a massive waste of money at all. And at his age, perhaps not the wisest way to spend our pennies.
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I don't care if Paula Vennells loses her CBE - the honours system long ago lost any credibility. I would like her to lose her flash car, her posh house, her pensions and her fat bank accounts and share portfolio. I would like to see her serve a prison sentence equal.
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I note that Charlotte Owen declares only one item on her register of interests - she is a Vice President of Better Earth Limited. How much she is paid, she doesn't have to say. Can you guess which famous chap became a director of Better Earth Limited in May 2024?.
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Dear Mr Johnson, I have a problem. My British common sense tells me that taking my kids to a disease-ridden school, schlepping to work on a disease-ridden bus, entering a disease-ridden plant, all this will lead to a British funeral. For me and several others. What should I do?.
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Remember when Jeremy Corbyn slipped security to get very drunk at an oligarch's villa and then wandered round an Italian airport with his shirttail sticking out of his flies? Oh wait, that was Boris Johnson, the PM who isn't trusted by our security services.
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Am I understanding correctly Boris Johnson's plan to replace Galileo? He's giving £500 million of our money to a company that's filed for bankruptcy, laid off most of its staff and doesn't have the right technology anyway? Daring.
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It's not all doom and gloom: Telegraph Media Group's pre-tax profits fell 94% from £14.3m to £900,000 last year. Who'd have thought that sacking intelligent journalists and filling your rag with increasingly nonsensical political bias would damage it?.
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Jeremy Corbyn calls for restraint over Iran. Dominic Raab calls for restraint over Iran. One is labelled a terrorist-loving bastard, one is praised for statesmanship. Can you guess which is which, boys and girls? And bonus points to journalists for getting in a mention of the IRA.
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"Covid, who ordered the Covid?". Prof John Edmunds, member of Sage committee:.“If we had [been consulted], I would have been clear what I thought about [Eat out to help out]. As far as I am concerned, it was a spectacularly stupid idea and an obscene way to spend public money.”
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To all the right wing journalists and rich twats (Hi, Sir Martin) saying children's charities will regrettably suffer if the President's Club has to cancel its annual perverts and lechers dinner, there is a simple solution - make a sodding donation anyway. You're welcome.
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Just caught up with #pmqs. For those who missed it:. Killing Iranians good, killing Americans bad. Iran should just shut up. Scots should just shut up. Corbyn should just shut up. Rail travellers should just shut up. The Speaker has already shut up.
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Things I don't believe:. (a) Muslims set fire to Notre Dame or. (b) Macron set fire to Notre Dame. Things I do believe: . Anyone who spreads that sort of rumour is a complete bellend and should be reported and blocked. #NotreDameCathedralFire.
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And now we discover why the Tories have been trying to hide who's attending Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (Sage) meetings. Step forward well-known scientist Dominic Cummings and his imp Ben Warner (data pirate for Vote Leave). Informed, impartial advice my arse.
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Ofcom says the regulator has received 643 complaints about Piers Morgan's interview of Helen Whately. See, Tories can organise things when they want to.
‘We don’t have a figure for that’ - Helen Whately . @piersmorgan questions the Care Minister over the number of healthcare workers that have died on the front line from the coronavirus.
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There's something particularly nasty about the Spectator, owned by billionaire tax avoider Frederick Barclay and run (on very good salaries) by a coterie of smug, upper middle class white men, having an ill-thought pop at Marcus Rashford, a young black man with principles.
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Does anyone know if David Davis wrote a resignation letter? It'd be the first document he's produced in the last two years.
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Rachel Riley, John Mann and Katie Hopkins trending in quick succession - has there been an explosion in a sewage plant?.
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I feel Daniel Hannan is getting a lot of unfair press at the moment so here's something to balance it out, showing his keen mind and expertise in political analysis.
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Laurence Fox appears to be moving to Midsomer. I'll give it two months before he's barred from the pub and another month before the blacksmith murders him. And all because Sadiq Khan won again.
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I want to apolgise. I want to apologise to a nation, I want to apologise to the world, but I'll apologise to one person. That person is an Irish nurse in an English hospital. She cared for an old man as his mind and body failed. Her job involved skilled nursing, it involved.
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If I see one more Brexity pillock tweeting nonsense beginning "My grandad fought the Germans to. " I will puke. (a) WWII was not about stopping the EU. b) The EU was not founded by Nazis. c) Your granddad's ghost says you're a lying little shit.
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Iain Duncan Smith: “I didn’t agree with Theresa May’s Chequers deal but I think the EU has behaved really badly today – arrogant, strutting, boastful, bossy.". That's Iain Duncan Smith, calling someone else arrogant, strutting, boastful, and bossy. Jesus wept.
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"Tesco equal pay claim could cost supermarket up to £4bn". How about "Tesco have trousered up to £4bn by underpaying women".
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Congratulations to Amber Rudd on her new gig with daughter Flora Gill on Times Radio, along with a bunch of other Murdoch arselickers. Alas, I won't be listening as I'd rather crush my own scrotum between two housebricks but I'm sure she'll simper for Middle England.
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This is Karen Rampton, Bournemouth Council. Karen wants to fine homeless people £100 for sleeping in doorways or leaving their belongings on the street. Bournemouth W Tories' site says she has "a passion for supporting the vulnerable in our community.". Pls don't be like Karen.
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Anyone else starting to get an inkling that Boris Johnson might be temperamentally unsuited to Prime Ministering and that reading Classics, followed by writing comic columns for low circulation mags and newspapers, might not be ideal training for governing?. No? Just me then?.
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For some odd reason, an old tweet of Sarah Vine's popped into my head.
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For all those threatened or even just inconvenienced by the Orange walks in Glasgow:
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Boris Johnson on financial help for people: "we are going to put our arms round people, just as we did during the pandemic.". He's just taking the p*** now, isn't he?.
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New non-execs being selected for Channel 4. Candidates included:. a) Woman, Asian heritage, fantastic career in radio and television. b) Englishman who lacks such experience but went to Eton, member of Bullingdon Club and has been on holiday with Lord Cameron. Who was picked?
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I'm reluctant to give any publicity to Piers Morgan, especially after the greasy ponce blocked me, but I'd just like to say that real men look after their children while sociopathic gobshites cheat their own readers on shares and lie under oath about phone hacking.
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That is why Patel's words matter and that is why Patel's words disgust decent people and shame a nation. And that is why I loather her and her party.
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Tory MP Mark Field apologises for grabbing protester, says he feared she was armed. After stringent entry checks, in a room with tighter security than the Kremlin? And the way to deal with an armed protester is to grab her by the neck? Field is a thug and a liar.
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#ElectionResults2019. If the #ExitPoll which says Tory majority of 86 seats is anywhere near correct, I will, from now until my dying day, curse the selfish and the moronic cretins who have voted Tory today. Pond scum.
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Iain Duncan Smith, a fun fact. He is an honorary life member of Buck’s Club which, several times a year, holds dinners known as "Nieces' Nights". Members are encouraged to invite young women to come along, who are then rotated between tables with each course. Not at all creepy.
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ITV cancels Jeremy Kyle show. When will the BBC do the same with the Nigel Farage shows?.
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Boris Johnson's incessant, sly racism is rightly being near universally condemned but I'd like to mention one other point. His first para says "I was in Copenhagen for some international conference". "Some international conference"" was the UN climate summit.
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Remember when Iain Duncan Smith claimed a £39 breakfast on expenses ? Imagine if Chartwells had supplied it.
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My apologies, I misinformed people earlier when I said that not many hotel rooms had been booked for quarantine. What I should have said is that zero rooms have been booked, no catering has been organised, no security, no reporting, no release mechanisms. Cleverly fustclucker.
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If anyone missed Priti Patel on #r4today, she claimed that Boris Johnson is a virgin who walks on water and gives half his income to the poor. What? She called him a supporter of women's rights and champion of equalities? I can't post that, people will think I've gone mad.
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Call me cynical but seeing Gavin Williamson claim, late on Sunday night, that it's safe to send kids to school, seeing Helen Whately do the media round to say it's safe, hearing that Boris Johnson will be doing a photo op at a school, somehow doesn't convince me that it's safe.
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Has Wes Streeting ever done or said anything that makes you think "he's not that bad really" rather than "he's 100% self-serving, arrogant little tosspot?".
🚨 NEW: Wes Streeting has said David Tennant should apologise to Kemi Badenoch for telling her to "shut up" . [@kateferguson4].
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David Davis on #Marr: " I do think we’ve heavily overemphasised the problem on the Northern Ireland border". Liam Fox: "We're waiting for the EU to come back to us with their view". I've thrown away leftover porridge with more intelligence and honesty than this pair of scoundrels.
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I usually read an article before criticising it but in Sarah Vine's case I'll make an exception. She seems to be having a hissy fit about statues. (Of course she is.) Mr Vine, as Education Sec, did his best to whitewash the history curriculum, lest we remember.
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Radio 4 Schedule. 0520 Tommy Forecast. 0530 Tommy Briefing. 0543 Prayer for Tommy. 0545 Tommy Today. 0558 Tweet of the Day by Tommy. 0600 The Tommy Programme.
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Heartwarming to see Boris "Saviour Of The Tories" Johnson on a beach in Sardinia with a quarter of his children. I wonder if Baroness Owen took the pic?
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"Maxwell 'won't sell Andrew out'" says the Daily Telegraph front page. Telling the truth about an alleged rapist is not 'selling out' even if part of a plea bargain. And the DT appears to have not realised that they're strongly implying there is something to sell.
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Passport Office staff being told they have to go back to work. Against gov's policy, no thought of childcare, protective gear, public transport needs etc. Home Office spokesman dismisses suggestions health of staff being put at risk. Anyone know which minister is responsible?.
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I may be being a little unkind to Priti Patel. Who amongst us hasn't been on a short family holiday and stumbled into 12 work meetings?.
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Amber Rudd's replacement (for this week) is Therese Coffey. Ms Coffey is notable for being one of the Tories' organised hecklers in the Commons and for being so far up Rupert Murdoch's bum that she can see Rebekah Brooks. Achievements: zero.
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Has Margaret Hodge called Boris Johnson a fucking racist yet? Or is she too busy posting passive/aggressive smug crap?.
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Jacob Rees-Mogg's mask slips as he, a man with a moderate academic record, an even more moderate political record, who makes money by gambling with a hedge fund, who sponges off his wife and the nation, has a pop at Mark Carney.
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I'm delighted to announce that Nadine Dorries hasn't won the Nadine Dorries Inanity Of The Week award this week. Many congratulations to Liz Truss, dogcatcher of this fleabitten government.
Justice Secretary Liz Truss explains that patrol dogs "who are barking helps deter drones"
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Looking for things to do while self-isolating? Here's a novel way to fill 10 mins: While grabbing things from cupboard, knock full bottle of light soy sauce so it falls, hits the worktop and smashes, spraying soy sauce and bits of glass all over the place, then clean it all up.
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Wed am: Wetherspoons announces some pints to cost under £1. Wed pm: Chancellor announces cut in alcohol taxes. Wed pm: Wetherspoons' shares up 5.5%. Funny how things work out.
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Boris Johnson gets vaccine. "I literally did not feel a thing." Much the same reaction he had to old people and workers dying in care homes.
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Twitter has just suggested I follow Isabel Oakeshott. I'm off to try and disembowel myself with a bread knife.
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As gelatinous ponce Piers Morgan attacks a young female (yes, there's a theme here), let's recycle a link from 2014 where his ex-bosses at the Mirror admit in court that he presided over serial criminal acts while editor.
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I'm seeing lots of people saying what a charming, warm, brave, intelligent person Amber Rudd is, without a racist bone in her body. Is she any relation to the Amber Rudd who illegally deprived dark-skinned people of income and healthcare, imprisoned and deported them?.
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For those missing Toby Young's wit and wisdom as he purges his own tweets, here's a summary:. Woke lefties, cancel culture, denying me a platform as I said today on 2 social media platforms, 3 websites, 1 radio show and 2 tv programmes. Phwoar, look at the knockers on her.
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Does anyone else listening to Theresa May get the impression that she doesn't know who was Home Secretary for about six years from 2010-2016?.
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Not something I'd normally do but I've just looked at the Taxpayers' Alliance site to read their excoriating comments on our billions being trousered by Matthew Elliott's chums pretending to be PPE suppliers. Hmm, nothing. The Tumbleweed Alliance.
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@allisonpearson I'd say that Ms Rayner's achievements, having left school at 16, are all the more admirable for that. Perhaps I might compare her with someone who got a degree (albeit just a 2:2) from Cambridge and ended up writing sneery trash in the Telegraph.
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Boris Johnson has now been supported by Jacob Rees-Mogg, Katie Hopkins, Nadine Dorries and Nigel Farage, in case anyone had any doubt that he's arrogant, self-serving, racist scum.
Jacob Rees-Mogg says people criticise Boris because they're jealous - No, they're criticising him because, like the rest of his vile party, he condones and normalises bigotry and prejudice. Muslim group joins condemnation of Boris Johnson burqa remarks
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I can't help thinking that if Maureen Lipman ever found out that Maureen Lipman achieved a sort of fame by taking the mickey out of Jewish relatives, Maureen Lipman would be calling Maureen Lipman a vile antisemite.
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Catching up on recent news, I see Greta Thunberg has been criticised by Brendan O’Neill of Snarked Online and by Toby Young. Their main complaint seem to be that a 16 yr old speaking in a second language doesn't have the oratorical powers of a seasoned public speaker.
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For those who thought Priti Patel had been a bit quiet, news comes in of some dreadful Home Office shithousery - cramming EU nationals onto a chartered plane for deportation. During lockdown. 35 passengers, accompanied by around 40 to 50 Home Office escorts and plane crew.
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How many Brexiters does it take to change a light bulb?. One to smash the working bulb.
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Nearly as sickening as the thugs rioting is the rush of Tories to condemn their actions (Boris Johnson's ghost writer has already weighed in). The heartless, racist scum in government bred these people, fed them via Mail and jingoism. Johnson, Gove, Raab, Patel, you own them.
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I can't help thinking how much better informed Dominic Raab would have been had he just had a window seat when he first flew out of the country,.
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Spin the Morrisons news, BBC:. "Morrisons axing 3000 management roles, creating 7000 new hourly-paid roles, a net 4000 new posts". "more roles with greater flexibility . very attractive to colleagues with families" At £9 ph. 3000 salaried jobs gone. 7000 added to gig economy.
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"A few years after Theresa May looked a nurse dead in the eye and said “There’s no magic money tree”, here they are spending £100m on a leaflet explaining how best to eat your dog. ".
The leaflet idea irritated me so I wrote this.
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These three names can't be stressed enough - the three Labour MPs who backed the ERG last night:. Frank Field: once good, now time to retire.Kate Hoey: UKIP in all but rosette.Graham Stringer: global warming-denying dinosaur. Useful idiots, all of them.
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@SuellaBraverman You must need a holiday. Rwanda's nice at this time of year. Stay a while.
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Boris Johnson is now delivering the expected mishmash of tired old slogans and Daily Mail prostate-tickling garbage. New ideas: none. New money: none. A corrupt incompetent, far too fond of his own overblown rhetoric. #borisjohnsonspeech.
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Things I'd never say: "I bet Fiona Bruce got where she is today by shagging her boss years ago". Not even as light-hearted banter. Because it would be lying, vicious, sexist and unfunny. And even more inappropriate as warmup to #bbcqt. I hope that helps, BBC.
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Jacob Rees-Mogg has just said in the Commons that he disapproves of remote voting because voting is a serious act. It is wrong for MPs to be able to exercise their vote while at home, perhaps watching TV. Insert here literally 1000s of examples of undignified Commons tomfoolery.
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Remember Owen Paterson and David Davis flying to the US recently, with no apparent official reason. Remember thinking it was probably a rather corruptt jaunt to lick the arses of US rightwing interests and sell out our country? Well, you were right.
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Farage was a commodities trader - he bought and sold without ever seeing a physical product, he had nothing to do with physical movement of product and he has no experience of manufacturing, wholesaling or retailing. Expert my arse.
“I’ve never seen such utter tosh in my entire life” @Nigel_Farage responds to the release of the #Yellowhammer papers. #Peston
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My #BackBoris #SackBoris tweet is getting quite a lot of attention (and replies) from people with few followers. Good to see newcomers engaging. A few tips:. a) "You're", not "your". b) "Knobhead", not "nobhead". c) "Should have" or "should've", not "should of".
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I have been asked by Seaborne Freight to inform you that their office is not a single room above a minicab office in Wolverhampton and that anyone repeating this scurrilous rumour will be contacted by their solicitors when such have been appointed.
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Gerard Batten "If this surrender deal is implemented, UKIP will be the political resistance movement, fighting on the electoral beaches, fields, lanes, and landing grounds. UKIP will never surrender". 😂. Gerard is a skidmark on the underpants of depair. Don't be like Gerard.
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Today's "Fuck Right Off" moment brought to you by the Royals: "Prince William spotted selling Big Issue in Tesco". And a nice pic too: guess which one of them will be going home tonight to a nice warm palace.
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Heartwarming: the Duke of Westminster has donated £10m to the UK's coronavirus relief effort. Is he any relation to Hugh Grosvenor, who dodged billions in inheritance tax through legal ploys?. Why yes, one and the same. Personally worth about £9billion.
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Someone has leaked a No 10 email to the Mail, the email attacking Javid, Rudd and Truss for their surreptitious leadership campaigns and peeing on Theresa May's chips. I'm baffled as to who could have leaked such a thing to Mrs Gove's employers.
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In a show of support for Wild Willy Wragg, Sir Graham Brady has announced that Tory MPs no longer need to send letters to the 1922 Committee, they can now send pics.
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What a nice picture of US politician Nigel Farage and whatever Andrew Tate is. Captions please. "Bribe and groom"
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Glasgow stabbings - usual idiots are blaming asylum seekers and local council or even Sturgeon. Such accommodation is a reserved matter and the Home Office appointed private company Mears Group to provide that accommodation. Priti Patel and her chums own this one.
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"UK warns EU of tit-for-tat measures over financial services". Fuck off, Tories. Please fuck off. Fuck right off. Fuck off at the speed of light and meet yourselves fucking off from the other direction. Then, as the meme says, fuck off some more. Sorry, there's no other answer.
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I have decided not to watch Arron Banks weaselling robustly on #Marr on the grounds that nobody in his situation should be invited onto national tv to talk about it. That he is one of the dodgiest shits in the UK political sphere is irrelevant.
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I have assessed Boris Johnson's Brexit plan and decided it's workable if we revive the East India Company, blanket Ireland with potato blight and send opium to the heathen Chinee, as long as Rees-Mogg throws in a couple of legions. Onward and upward.
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I don't know why Piers Morgan is trending but if it isn't because a rabid wombat has bitten off his greasy little todger, please don't tell me.
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Seeing references to the young Nadhim Zahawi washing up on these shores, almost in a basket made of bulrushes. He flew here when his parents realised their cushy life in Iran was under threat. His paternal grandfather was Governor of the Central Bank of Iran and Minister of Trade.
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Boris Johnson has sent a letter to the EU to request a Brexit delay - but without his signature. Yes, EU folks, you're negotiating with a ten year old.
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Esther McVey is not particularly clever. She cannot master a complicated brief. Nor is she liked by colleagues or voters. So why was she forced on the electorate of Tatton, a very safe Tory seat? Why was she given a ministerial position of such huge importance?.
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