Patrick Coffee
@PatrickCoffee
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Wall Street Journal reporter on the marketing beat @wsjCMO . On paternity leave until December.
Brooklyn via South Carolina
Joined August 2011
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Pinned Tweet
For my first WSJ humor piece—and the pinnacle of my journalistic career—I wrote about the horniest mascot in collegiate summer league baseball.
“We did want an air of sensuality.”
“I am uncomfortable, but I love this team so much.”
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Marketers running away from NFTs as fast as they can.
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✨some professional news✨
Today’s my last day at Insider after almost 3 years.
Excited to join the Wall Street Journal next month on the CMO Today team, still covering that industry we all love to love: advertising!
As of May 23, I’m here for all your best tips. But first…
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~some personal news~
I’ve accepted a new role as chief operating officer of my son’s 5th birthday party!
*My wife will serve as CEO, GM, chief creative officer, chief strategy officer, chief financial officer and head of communications aka invitations.
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Free advice for any ad agency that's thinking about making a self-promotional rap video: don't.
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CLIENT: We just fired our longtime agency because we need to refresh the brand. Now we want you to make a campaign starring the mascot that old agency made famous... and can you please imitate their style in every way?
AGENCY: Hell yeah! We'll do it at a steep discount!!
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Why are ad agencies so bad at branding themselves?
You want to defend against the idea that you provide a commodity service. So you stick with an acronym honoring three or four old/deceased white guys whose names your own employees don’t even know??
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Wieden+Kennedy co-founder David Kennedy passed away on Sunday evening. He was 82.
His final work was a campaign promoting the American Indian College Fund for Indigenous Peoples Day yesterday.
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Just gonna tweet this image of my own tweet as it’s currently being used in a live event about PR tweets that I am not attending.
Has the fourth wall been broken?
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Google just stopped letting Kremlin-owned media like Sputnik and RT use its ad platform.
But it's still serving ads on many properties that publish or aggregate the same misinformation, such as Pravda and Zero Hedge. So are other adtech cos like Taboola.
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People are quitting their ad jobs as agencies struggle to fill hundreds of open roles.
One creative director making $150k got a $100k raise offer to switch firms.
"For the first time, all the power is with the worker and not the hirer."
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More PR firms need to be bold enough to tell clients that their pitches are bad instead of wasting everyone’s time just so you can cut and paste a bunch of annoyed responses.
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Legit curious whether all the attention that Kristen's tweets have received will encourage other agencies to publicly call out clients, especially when they're still on retainer.
Choosing not to credit work? Happens all the time.
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Big scoop from
@SeanMCzarnecki
: MSFT is building a private ad network that will let select adtech partners sell ads inside Xbox games.
Analysts said this could put MSFT ahead of Sony's PlayStation and Amazon's Twitch in the fast-growing gaming ad space.
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who did this
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Google has recently taken action against sites like RT that the US calls Kremlin propaganda.
But it’s still monetizing Sputnik and TASS, which have published false claims calling Ukraine a Nazi govt. We saw RTB ads for Best Buy, Paramount, Eddie Bauer etc
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Please say no one outside my Brooklyn zip code saw that Oatly ad.
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Ad agency leaders do not appear to be listening to their own employees.
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Spoiler: he’s the CEO
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good thing nothing important is happening today so I can focus on writing about advertising 🙃
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Oh hi, new office 🏢
Pitches: patrick.coffee
@wsj
.com
Tips: patrickcoffee
@protonmail
.com
Thank you in advance for not sending PR emails to the protonmail address and yes that includes CCs
Also: DMs open, I have Signal, etc
✨some professional news✨
Today’s my last day at Insider after almost 3 years.
Excited to join the Wall Street Journal next month on the CMO Today team, still covering that industry we all love to love: advertising!
As of May 23, I’m here for all your best tips. But first…
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KFC is splitting with Wieden + Kennedy agency after 7 years, saying it fears losing the chicken sandwich wars.
W+K and Martin Agency dropped out of a “chaotic” pitch where KFC execs used W+K campaigns as examples of what they want from a new agency.
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Do you have 3-4 people who like almost all your dumb tweets, and you think “who is this person?” before realizing you are totally that person to someone else
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@shareenpathak
Yes, and then when coworkers or people they follow talk about movies and books, they say I watched moana five times this weekend and I actually like it now.
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TIL the Fonz has been closely following my career trajectory???
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When you’re trying to cut your word count, there is no phrase more annoying than “x, the social media platform formerly known as twitter.”
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Regional buys do not count as Super Bowl ads
Regional buys do not count as Super Bowl
Regional buys do not count as Super
Regional buys do not count
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Activist investors in Omnicom and Home Depot call for third party investigations into whether Facebook, Google, and Twitter’s ad policies fuel violence and hate speech
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Trade secret:
"he's been media-trained" = "he's boring as hell so don't expect anything good"
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Why should reporters agree to embargoes or stick to them when the unspoken fact is that these companies are just going to keep sending their exclusives to the larger publication two hours early anyway?
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Poorly-kept industry secret: The big name CMO who keeps showing up in your LinkedIn feed to talk about leadership tips or his/her Halloween costume?
They prob didn’t write any of those posts. Welcome to the niche world of thought leadership ghostwriting.
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Total coincidence that the agency holding companies publicly airing their concerns about Facebook just happen to be the ones that didn’t have to submit final pitches for FB’s global media business last week 🤔
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UPDATE: Fernando Machado has joined Activision as CMO.
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A few years ago the big consulting firms started pitching themselves as an alternative to ad agencies.
Client response so far: ehh, maybe not
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So glad you asked! I would LOVE NOTHING MORE than to learn how your client stayed in touch with consumers while Facebook was down for 6 hours today and convey this valuable knowledge to my many readers.
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Good morning to everyone except the British royal family.
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Hi
@wethosco
. Kinda weird that you’re using my tweet and name in a paid ad, thereby implying that I endorse your company, when I don’t know you and you never contacted me to inquire about this.
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can anything be more punk than... planning and buying ads
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in all seriousness, if you're considering a "what brands posted during the coup" listicle: DON'T. DO. IT.
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Now you can find all the terrible rumors about your employer in one place!
Glassdoor acquires Fishbowl, a semi-anonymous social network and job board, to square up to LinkedIn by
@ingridlunden
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Why did Superman never have a side plot about a PE firm acquiring the daily planet and laying off Lois and Clark bc they couldn’t hit monthly traffic goals
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brb, gonna change my bio to “Christian. Dad. Husband. Runner. Marketer. In that order.”
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You write dozens of polite emails telling PRs you don't do articles about ad campaigns. You try to explain why. They say "very helpful, I'll share w/my colleagues."
You repeat. You get frustrated. But the flood continues. You put it in your twitter bio!
How can I be clearer??
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Google stopped letting RT’s site use ad tools last year, but RT’s main YouTube channel — which was a member of its premium group for advertisers until 2017 — still runs ads.
Google has recently taken action against sites like RT that the US calls Kremlin propaganda.
But it’s still monetizing Sputnik and TASS, which have published false claims calling Ukraine a Nazi govt. We saw RTB ads for Best Buy, Paramount, Eddie Bauer etc
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I welcome the sweet embrace of death as long as it means I don’t have to go back to the office.
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You say advertising doesn’t work, but I saw a tween dressed as the liberty mutual guy for Halloween with a stuffed emu in her bag.
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There is one word that tells me your pitch has no real value and it is "embargo."
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“I don’t like the commercials because it’s long and weird.”
-my three year old future cannes juror giving zero shits about your cinematic content
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Imposter syndrome, also known as being alive and having a working brain.
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Everything is about the bottom line. "Brand purpose" is a house of cards that collapses in the lightest breeze.
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Scoop from
@nudd
: Apple has apologized for that ad and scrapped plans to run it on TV. There was never any paid media.
Apple's chief creative Tor Myhren said, "We missed the mark with this video, and we’re sorry."
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A new treat while waiting for your Uber: 90 second video ads
“We have 2 minutes of your attention. We know where you are, we know where you are going to, we know what you have eaten. We can use all of that to then basically target a video ad towards you.”
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Wonder when we’ll stop using “madison avenue” as shorthand for all ad agencies everywhere
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People who moved to New York: what was your first NYC meal?
I’ll never forget mine. It was a meatball parm hero from a cozy little Hell’s Kitchen spot called… Subway. 👌
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Hot tip: Unless you enjoy getting spammed to hell every day, I strongly recommend against publishing even one story that includes any form of the word "crypto."
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Why do ad agencies always stock so much high shelf liquor in their offices...🤔
Is it to fool clients into thinking they have fun, or is it the only way they can make it through the hell that is working with other people?
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UPDATE: sources confirm that many of those who “dish it out” cannot, in fact, take it.
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Big thanks
@lmoses
for giving me this opportunity and keeping my word counts in check.
I will miss working and airing grievances with my extremely talented colleagues
@larakiara
@SeanMCzarnecki
@LaurenJohnson
@kitten_mouse
@tanyadua
Please read their stories — and subscribe!
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PR: Here's a pitch, looking forward to your feedback
ME: Thank you. But as I previously told your colleagues, I don't cover these kinds of stories because XYZ.
PR: Thanks, I will relay this to the team
PR, three days later: Here's a pitch, looking forward to your feedback
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My first
@WSJ
story: Fashion disrupter Stitch Fix hired its first CMO in 2+ years as it tries to reverse slowing growth, 80% stock drop by moving beyond signature sub product.
It’s now competing w/trad retail: new CMO is ex-Marc Jacobs, Ann Taylor.
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TIL cousin greg is my real life neighbor and can confirm, as a source w/ direct knowledge, that he is in fact very tall.
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So my best memory of Fer was when we first met.
He shook my hand and before saying hi or anything he asked, "Why did you kill the comments on AgencySpy? I read them all!"
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How many brands will use this recipe for guaranteed super bowl success?
Combine
1 overexposed celebrity
1 formerly overexposed celebrity
1 overplayed song
1 wacky but relatable scenario!
1 oblique product reference (optional)
1 snarky punchline
wink at the camera, and scene👌
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If you provide an unsubscribe button on your unsolicited pitch emails, then you’ve already told me all I need to know.
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Is “media parties” just another name for ad industry events where trade reporters huddle in the corner waiting for comms people to introduce them to CMOs and adtech founders?
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Pretty weird how so many people seem to think freedom of speech means freedom from the consequences of your own actions 🤔
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Agency staffers told
@kitten_mouse
about 75-hour weeks, nonstop pitches and zoom fatigue during the pandemic. Some have quit due to burnout.
Gut Miami announced a monthlong "vacation blackout" for all creatives leading up to Cannes' submission deadline.👇
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Since you’re all wondering which ad agency the kidney writer worked at in Boston, it was Arnold Worldwide.
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What’s a company you see advertised everywhere but never seen any proof it exists IRL?
Mine’s Raymour & Flanigan.
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If there’s no executive order to stop these vehicle warranty spam calls in the first 100 days I will absolutely flip my shit
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The French remain undefeated in the war of backhanded compliments.
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IPG Mediabrands' first report on mis/disinformation slams all the major social networks for monetizing false claims about climate, vaccines, and election conspiracy theories.
The report went to select clients, which include Coca-Cola, AmEx, and T-Mobile.
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As a writer no sentence gives me greater pleasure than
"Thank you but I won't be attending CES this year."
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My new NFT avatar is a completely unique work of art unlike any other image or object on earth. It only cost me $150k but its real world value is immeasurable.
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Most misleading or obviously untrue brand tagline?
I gotta go with "melts in your mouth, not in your hand" or "you're gonna love the way you look, I guarantee it"
Both demonstrably false.
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Today in Everything Is Advertising:
ChargePoint, by far the top US maker of EV charging stations, is rolling out a display ad biz
EV cos are applying for millions in govt subsidies and rushing to expand while looking for new rev sources... like ad sales
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Working mothers continue to leave their ad industry jobs as agencies/brands struggle to fill open roles
New research from
@haveherback
indicates companies that don't cater to women will lose the talent wars
8 moms told me why they left and/or came back.
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would love to see the slack channels and FB groups where PRs drag reporters.
shit must be 🔥
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Someone help me understand how the peloton ad is supposed to be good.
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The Mill is Omnicom’s production partner on the US Army business. Their Chicago office produces all of Army’s ad campaigns.
Mill Chicago’s Hilbert fired for insurrection tweets
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Reminder to spell check everything twice!
(Her name is Lin-Baden)
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thank you, advertising 👍
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Y’all know that just sending out an embargoed announcement to a bunch of reporters without asking anyone to agree to hold it first means they have no obligation to wait, right?
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