Khadijah
@OneTiredMum_
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I’ve been teaching my kids to ask Allah for anything. On Friday just before maghrib, maryam wanted pizza, it was late and I had no plans to order, so I reminded her to beg Allah, she did. “Allah please give me pizza”😂 she was chanting it.
What happened next was shocking!
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I spent the day at my husband’s office today. It was time for Asr, so he went to the mosque. I said my own prayer, then I decided to scare him by hiding under the table.
Guys, he came back with a client.😭
How was I supposed to come out? From under the table??😭
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At that moment, I knew that was it. She will forever be a believer, in Sha Allah. Now she asks Allah for everything! This evening I heard her telling her 2 yr old brother to beg Allah for a new bicycle.
That one was now saying “Allah gimme bychiku”🤣 I was proud o. Alhamdulillah.
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We were literally still sitting on the prayer mat, when my househelp came in with a box of pizza! My cowife had just returned home and she got a box for us. See ehn, Maryam froze!😂 she couldn’t believe it. Me sef E shock me. The happiness on her face ehn!
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My husband and I were walking to the car and I whispered "the last is a mumu". The way he ran ehn😂😂😍
He doesn't know he's old😂.
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I had to wait for the man to leave, longest 30 minutes of my life. 😭
I was tired, I almost gave up. 😭
I know my husband is tired of me.😩😭
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I just remembered something I said to my husband few days before our wedding, 4 years ago. “ I love you o..but I won’t tolerate any nonsense from you” I was 21, he was 46. How did I even have that liver?😂
The gentleman replied “in sha Allah, you’ll never see nonesense.”😩
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My husband attended a dinner party yesterday, but left before he was served. I had already “zeroed” my mind that I wouldn’t be doing any cooking. He came back, I told him I didn’t cook and he jejely went to ask his other wife for food.
See why it’s good to have a co-wife?🤣🤪
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I called my husband "baby" in front of my cowife, and she said "ba baby ba meow"😂😂😂
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I saw a woman with her young maid/baby’s nanny at the train station. This girl was backing the baby, carrying baby’s bag, and struggling with a big luggage all by herself. Her madam was holding a bottle of water and her hand bag.
I’m not going to lie, I judged her hard. We kept
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Whenever I give Maryam the silent treatment (it’s not a good thing) she says Assalamu Alaykum because she knows I have to respond 😂
If my response doesn’t come out fast, she hits me with the “PROPHET MUHAMMAD SAID…”
“Walaikum salaam Maryam, WALAIKUM SALAAAM”🙄😒
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Today I went out before my kids and as they saw me off to the door, they said “say Bismillah tawakaltu…, be nice, don’t fight with anybody o, drink your water…
They said all I always say to them when they’re going out.🤣
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Last Ramadan, I asked Allah for the man of my dreams, This Ramadan, I'm with the man of my dreams 😊😊😊
Alhamdulillah!
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My husband, my co-wives and I attended a conference and they were awarding certificates, it was time to get ours, all 4 of us! mind you, our husband’s name is added to our names, so after giving us, she jokingly asked “are you all related?” I almost answered “yes, by ****!” 😂🙊
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In 2011, my parents traveled to Saudi, so an aunt came to stay with us.
I got sick one morning and began to throw up, the first thing she asked “Kadija when last did you see your menses?” Ah! Me not ever keeping dates.. I was trying to remember. Next thing I know, slaps! I was 16
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Read Suratul Waqi’a every morning.
I’m not saying you’ll become rich, but you’ll never be broke. Trust me, it works.
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When your husband comes back home, serve his food and ask him if would like to eat before he eats or eat before he eats. If you know you know.
That's how to be a good wife😂
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The person I thought I was “growing with” had no intentions of marrying me but I played along.
Lmao! I married my sugar daddy. Alhamdulillah! Best decision I ever made! Some of you young men think you’re smart!
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Rapists should be killed. Baby rapists should be killed slowly. Start by cutting his penis wit a rusted saw, then plucking out each eye with suya stick, and making him chew it. One arm should be cut, then one leg. Back to the face, his nose should be slashed off with a knife.
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making eye contact until she became uncomfortable, and I think she got the message, because she slowed down and asked the girl to bring the baby. I was like aha! That’s more like it.
Let’s be kind.
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I mistakenly called my husband ‘babes’ during board meeting, yikes!😬 The office went silent for a while.
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Dear Male visitors, please know when to take your leave when you’re visiting a house with Muslim women. The weather is very hot now and covering up in the house can be very uncomfortable.
Kindly make your visits short. Thank you.
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You guys, Allah has blessed me with AbdulRahman Oyedeji AbdulBasit.🥰
We’re both fine.
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I’ve always prayed to Allah to bless me with kids that love Salat because as a kid, I struggled with it.
I’m glad to inform you that now my 2 year old won’t stop shouting “Assalat, it’s time for prayer!” until I leave whatever I’m doing to go and pray.
Makes me so happy! 😩
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Polygamy is beautiful.
May Allah continue to assist our kings.
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Sometimes I feel like I don’t meet up to my husband’s expectations as his secretary, but when I give my reports during board meetings, he seems to be very impressed. Especially when he whispers “I’m proud of you”. Ah! That fixes everything.
But we still fight o.
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My father just knew about WhatsApp status, now he posts everyday and calls to thank all his viewers 😩😭😭. "thank you for checking my video".
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Please turn off the water heater before getting into the shower. A man just died of electric shock.
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May Allah grant you peace❤️
@MamanMaryam_
So I am also going to pray with the faith of your kids that Allah grants my troubled heart with rest and proper guidance, Amin!
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We were at a ceremony yesterday, Maryam came to me with a girl about her age.
Me: ah Maryam, did you make a new friend? What’s her name”
Maryam: Amina, she’s my cousin.
Me: really? how?
Maryam: I don’t know, she told me.
Amina: can I be her cousin?
Both of them: pleeeeaase.
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This lady who always has trash to say about my locs came today and as usual, went on about how her husband would never like my kind of hair🙄
I was so mad.
I calmly said “your husband doesn’t know fine things nau, ji be ki dan Allah” she sipped her remaining juice in silence.
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Omo!!! Prayers flying everywhere.
Jazakallahu Khairan. May Allah reward you. May your Du’as be answered. 💕❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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I just overheard my step daughter telling her friend that she’s lucky to have 3 mothers. That if needs anything especially money, she definitely knows she’s gonna get it from at least one of her 3 mothers.🤣
See enjoyment.
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Whenever I call a food vendor to order food, I tell them I’m pregnant 😫 so they can pity me and process my order fast.
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September 2001, ABU staff school, room 20, Mrs Mba’s class, it was your first day of school, you wanted to pee, but you were too nervous to tell the teacher, so you remained in your seat and cried, profusely,😂 until she noticed you. We were 6. Good to see you again.
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Because I told maryam to make her tongue get used to saying La’ilaha IllaAllah, so it can be the last thing we say when we’re dying (we talk about death a lot). Now I can’t hum any song again in peace. Any small thing, “so you want to die singing that song ba?”
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A woman complained bitterly to me about her husband, how she’s tired of everything.
She just updated her status, she and the same husband were dancing to Buga and hugging and kissing.
Thank God I didn’t say anything.
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One of my co-wives have stolen my toddler’s heart. This girl no longer sleeps in my flat, she no longer eats the food from my kitchen, I came back from work about 3 hours ago, this girl has not even come to check me. I just went over there to check her and she said “menene?”😭😭
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Marriage is indeed an eyeopener, you won't even know when sense falls on you. By the time responsibilities crawl up on you, you go humble😂😂.
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@ the ATM queue this evening, a woman wanted to cause trouble. I was there before her but she claimed she didn't see me. She was ready to fight, me that I cannot come and embarrass myself, I allowed her, only for the machine to swallow her card😂
She called me a witch🤣💃🏼
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i have noticed that whenever this guy calls me he is always like "abba dan kunna ac, ya sharif ina makullin mota na?uhm ummi ya batin visan?
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Abdurrahman says “I love you” to me at the most random moments. 🤣❤️
I’m washing his bum at 2am “I lab you”
We’re struggling to wear jeans or shoe “I lab you”
We’re running from the car to the house in the rain “Deeja I lab you”
In Sujood,😂he’ll whisper “I lab you deeja”
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Since the day we had to trash packs of marshmallows that’s not halal, Maryam has been asking if every single snack is halal. 😂
We’re at the supermarket, I grabbed a tin of pringles,
Maryam: check if it is halal o, me I don’t want to throw anything away again like that day.
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Last week Friday, Allah blessed me with baby Juwairiyyah Oyindamola Ohunene Okikiola. 😁
I really appreciate the messages💕, I couldn’t take any calls though.
I feel stonger now Alhamdulillah. Baby is fine too. 💕❤️
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I sensed my mum’s regular visits to the hospital lately so I ask what’s up? Turns out this woman has been caring for 2 abandoned mad men that were involved in an accident and need to be operated on. This has been going on for 2 months.
May Allah reward my mother with Aljannah.
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I hate when a Muslim continuously calls me at a prayer hour! Is it that you don’t know that it is prayer time and I may be praying? Or what???!
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Lmao! I just suddenly remembered when I used to ask my ex “are you ever going to leave me?” with puppy eyes🥺
When on the other side I was busy planning wedding with my husband.
For your mind😂😂
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SUBHANALLAH!!!😲 I just turned my phone on to this! Jazakallahu Khairan! 🙏🏾 🤲🏽😃😀
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Abdurrahman was playing with water outside after I’ve asked him severally to stop, I went outside and he ran when he saw me, I chased him of course. He saw that I was close and didn’t know what to do, so he aggressively cut my ewedu plant and handed it to me saying Alovu alovu,
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See ehn! I’ve never been so confused in my life. In my sick condition o. She flogged me ehn. I hate her till date.
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Abdurahman was “bathing”. I knew he was playing with water but I was busy with other chores. He comes out after decades 🙄of being in the bathroom, and I ask why his face is dry🤦🏽♀️ this boy goes “ahh.. I aftally forgot! aw gan wash it again”
Guy if I slllap you!
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May the phone of anyone trying to take pictures or videos of a deceased person being buried slip and fall into the pit and be buried deep down.
What kind of rubbish behavior is that? What do you want to use it for?
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Ahh!!!😅Too much Jazakallahu Khairan 🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thank you!💕💕💕
Ma Shaa Allah, how about we surprise Abdurrahman with a complete set (Parts 1,2,3) of The Beautiful Names of Allah for Muslim Children BOOK so he can learn more about
#ARRAHMAN
and Allah's other Beautiful Names.🤗🥳
They'll make a good fit on his
#bookshelf
.😊
Please DM🙏
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I just returned from a children’s Day party. The last time I played like this was when I was in primary school. I had mad fun. My kids couldn’t recognize their mother🤣 I bought and ate everything. I painted my face and entered hunted house!
I feel fulfilled! I deserve it.
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This man likes everything I do.
I cut my hair really low and mistakenly bleached it.🌚 (it was a mistake). I’ve been trying to hide it from him at least until I change it to a cooler color. Now he has seen it and has been shouting “see my babe oo” wow wow like siren.
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I praised my 4 year old for sweeping and mopping a part of the living room without any help, (she actually did a good job) Now she has gone to tell my helps that they can go, she can do all the work in the house by herself.
Maryam🤣🤣🤣
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I have a cousin who is in an abusive marriage. My mum, her mum and other aunts decided to interfere, this girl had the nerve to walk them out of her house, telling them everyone should go and face their own problems. She was talking with a swollen face. How about that?🙂
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Maryam: Don’t punish us or shout at us when we do something wrong you hear?
Me: Okay what should I do?
Maryam: just say aww my darling sweetie pie don’t do that again, go and wear your hijab lets go and buy toys.
🤣🤣🤣
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How my father acts like he isn’t in pain scares me.
He doesn’t want us to worry.
I pray Allah fixes all that worries our parents.
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You're In the middle of a conversation and they abruptly ask 'how old are you?' You must have said something very intelligent, or dumb😂
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I’ve been trying to make Maryam understand that Amina’s mother and I have to be sisters for them to be cousins. She said I should go and ask Amina’s mother to be my sister.
Maryam is giving me headache.
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I always ask Allah for free money and he gives. Alhamdulillah! Not salary or upkeep money from husband o, not kitchen allowance.
I’m talking about free! I could run into popc’s friend that will skwiz tenkay in my hand, could be unexpected alert from my parents or husband etc.
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My 7 year old Muhammad already plans to marry 4 wives because he wants 20 kids. So 5 babies from all 4 wives because he’s going to be a very wealthy farmer in Istanbul and will have a big mosque in his house and and he’ll buy cars and houses for me and his mom. ❤️
Ameen Ya Rabbi
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I had a doctors appointment today cos I’ve been feeling funny.
I ran a test and went back for the results.
She started explaining the results, then she paused to ask “when was your last period?”
Omo! My spit became hard to swallow!😂
Ah! I have a 3 month old baby o.
Abeg o.
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Amazing how you fall in love with someone you've never met😩😩
I can't wait to meet you baby😍👶
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Abdurrahman keeps losing his water bottles. He lost the last one yesterday but I didn’t say anything.
This morning, I put cold water inside the small sprite bottle for him. He happily collected it and left for school.
He we’ll be so pissed when he finds out.😂😂😂
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Somebody came to fix something in my house, when I answered the door he didn’t even greet, he just asked “where your madam?” Ah.. okay o. I just kukuma went in and called the woman that is working for me. They’re there now talking.
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Somebody asked why I never post my kids or siblings’ pics on WhatsApp status, I said because Evil eye is real! She goes “Wato mune masu evil eye kenan,” I answered “toh waya sani? It’s possible ai”. I think she blocked me.
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God will bless your hustle
He will continue to protect you
You will make your parents proud
Have a blessed week.
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One man that wanted to marry me that time. I was in Zaria, he was in Abuja, but he monitored my movements. I be sitting & having the time of my life In social center, this man would call and ask me to leave. When results come out, he’d call to tell me my cgpa.
Ashe psycho ne.🤣
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Since my house help embraced Islam, I have been putting extra work in studying and understanding the Qur’an more.
Make she no come ask me question wey I no go fit answer.
I feel like Allah used her to make me closer to the Qur’an.
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Imagine us all meeting in Jannah and introducing our selves ❤❤😍😍😍😍😍😍
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You spend hours making your hair, you’re looking peng!
Husband comes back home,
he sees you and 😻%#*!💋h£€>💦dg%#!
now you have to perform ghusl and your hair is ruined! 😠
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I just heard that some of you don’t feed your domestic workers, especially the ones that live out. In your defense, you’re paying them, so they should always come along with their food. This leaves me with the question; Who raised you people?
Why your house help no go chop?
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Maryam and Abdurrahman were fighting over a seat. I ignored them because I’m tired of separating fights. Abdurrahman eventually overpowered her and she tearfully said, “you..you you are just sitting there, can’t you come and help somebody?”
Lmao! Help who? Abeg get out😂
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Some kids came for yawon Sallah yesterday and they asked if I could give them a kitten and I did.
They just called me now that the kitten is crying😂 and they don’t know why.
So I asked them if they take you away from your mommy, will you not cry?😂 and they answered “oooh”
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Me: who is the smartest kid in your class?
Maryam: me, I am. 😌
Me: really? I thought it was Hafiz?
Maryam: are you in my class?
Me: no, but you always say Hafiz is the smartest person in your class..
Maryam: then why did you ask me?
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I have an uncle that always accuses me of not answering his calls, always complaining to my dad. My dad came to visit few days ago and uncle accompanied, he complained as usual but I didn’t want to argue, so I politely asked him to call my phone, nigga didn’t even have my number.
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I constantly try to make my house kid-friendly. I love how kids loosen up when they’re in my living room. I’m not about the “classy/royal livingroom style. I love toys scattered around, I like sounds of kids’shows coming from the tv, I love when kids play till they’re knockd out!
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Never met him before in my life! Though he’s friends with my parents.
He came to visit them one day and told them he wanted to marry me. They asked If I wanted to marry him and I said yes, we talked for a few weeks, then got married. Everything happened within 3 months.
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Am I the only one that asks Allah for free things? And free money?
Kuma He answers Wallahi.😂
God is great.
“Ya Wahab give me free 1million🤲🏽”
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Abdurrahman won eating competition today! Come and see gifts and other goody goodies he brought home.
I am embarrassed and at the same time proud. 😂
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Umrah is addictive o, you go once, you wanna go again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And again.
May Allah continue to provide for us.
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Discussing Judgment Day with Maryam, Abdurrahman playing around us.
Maryam: is it true that on that day we will all be naked?
Me: Yes! But..
*Abdurahman out of nowhere* Me amgonto wear my Pydaman boxers! *continues to play🤸♀️*
We didn’t even know he was listening 😂
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I’m potty training my toddler, so whenever she says pee, we run to the toilet so she doesn’t pee on herself. Today she was playing with her doll and began to scream pee! I left what I was doing to rush her to the toilet only for this girl to sit her doll on the potty🤦🏽♀️😡
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I used to say when I have a son, I’d allow his hair grow out, dress him in button-up shirts and shorts paired with sneakers .
Then Allah gave me Abdurrahman, who likes his head completely shaved, as in molo, hates shorts, loves oversized t-shirts, joggers and crocs. 😂
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Plus I do a lot of Shukr. Wherever I am and something makes me happy, I make Sujood.
I receive alert, sujood, I pay my bills, sujood! I find something I’ve been looking for? Sujood! My sister tells me she’s finally getting to understand Physics? Sujood! The list is endless.
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