If your name is Jessica from Guelph, your boyfriend Ryan (ears pierced) is sitting in the Brock library talking absolute TRASH about you to his lady companion. I'm not tryna start shit but he said you're a 6 in bed and she says he should break up with you. IM SNITCHIN
OKAY UPDATE FOR U CRAZY DETECTIVES: Jess and Ryan have been found BUT i’m not gonna give any private info on them..... other than Ryan has taken out his earrings ahhaha:)
the doctor today stuck her lubed finger in my V and tapped my gspot. my body then decided to betray me by getting CRAZYYY goosebumps..... do i have feelings for her??? is she tryna make me cum?? do u think she’s thinking about me??!!?!!??!
i wish there was an app where u could leave reviews on ex’s for their new chicks like-
pro: loves singing to old tunes at top of lungs in the car
con: loves to also have sex with people who are not his gf
I never used to care about my laptop camera being hacked because what was anyone gonna see? me typing up work in the library? watching Netflix? I realized today I sometimes sit shirtless writing papers and I always set up my laptop so I can watch Netflix when I bath .. naked..
2 weeks ago our cat ruined my roommates aloe plant while she wasn’t home and so my other roomate and I planted a green onion in replacement and it’s taken 2 weeks for her to notice anything’s wrong.... its fucking growing ...
Faith took away my phone so I would get my assignment done and I just had to text a guy on my laptop iMessage "hey sorry faith took my phone away so can't talk, but don't reply to this cause then she'll see I was on it" LMAOOOOO 13 y/o meg is shaking from flashbacks rn
why would i spend my PRIME young. hot. no responsibility. carefree. years trying to live a “grownup” lifestyle when i can be in my 20s getting kicked out of bars because i fell down the stairs or flashing my tits at a party to get 25 cent beads for free
WHY do i let boys treat me like trash when i work with 9 jamaican men who think i was literally created by god himself AND almost fought each other today to see which one could help me boost my car lmao
i could not imagine being a-🤢.. a grown ......🤮🤮🤢🤮🤮...being a grown ass adu-🤮🤢🤮... being a grown ass adult getting in..🤢... in to 20 year old drama ... 🤢🤮🤮🤢🤢
Subletting my room because my roommates think it's funny to jump scare me at any and all times and I don't know if my heart can take another one without going into full cardiac arrest.. rents $465 and you get a cat
it sucks when ur upset with one of your friends but you can’t express your feelings because they aren’t mature enough to have a conversation without getting pissed off lol
my friend from class told me that he would never pick me out of a lineup/ off the street but since he knows my personality, he would get with me................ feeling very humbled this Tuesday afternoon
Posting a black tile is fine and dandy but if you��re not signing petitions, donating where/if you can, and using your privilege to speak up then your black square was just posted to convince yourself that you’re not rasist 😐
i think my attraction to mullets is because i know anyone with a mullet is a fun time... like you don’t just get a mullet at the barbers, you get it at 3am after 10 cold ones with clippers that were probably used 4 hours earlier for your friends pubes
my friends never invite me to things so then i get all bitter and realize that they suck and i don’t wanna spend time with them but then they finally invite me to something and i go for something to do and i have so much fun and then they don’t invite me again...viscous cycle :(
i was so drunk last night i asked one of my friends if we could be in a relationship where he’s committed to me but i could do whatever i wanted... he really said no :/:/ shocked and confused:/ man ain’t trash, i am lmaooo good morning i’m still drunk
*In therapists office*
My Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me: “I just really miss four lokos”