Today at the OCS
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I write headcanons, among other things.
Warrior Nun Season 17
Joined September 2023
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Hello and welcome to OCS Today, where I write out random scenarios that involve Warrior Nun characters we're unhealthily attached to.
Is writing headcanons a healthy way to cope? No. Am I going to do it anyway? Of course.
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Today, Ava set up a kissing booth to raise funds for charity.
Beatrice used her trust fund for the first time since she joined the OCS.
Needless to say, Ava reached her fundraising goal in under 30 seconds, and Beatrice spent the afternoon making out with Ava.
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This year, for Beatrice’s birthday, Ava gave her a stack of “Halo Bearer Coupons” that could be exchanged for services, ahem, of all kinds😘
Beatrice used all 20 of those making Ava do all kinds of additional chores around cat’s cradle and taking Lilith to the dentist.
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For a while now, Ava noticed that Beatrice kneaded her like a cat when she slept.
Today, Ava changed position after Beatrice fell asleep.
Beatrice had no idea, but she just gave Ava the most relaxing back massage.
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Today, Ava and Beatrice are talking about what they want to be for Halloween.
Beatrice wants to be Mr. Darcy, and Ava? Well, Ava just wants to be Beatrice’s.
#SaveOURWarriorNun
#Avatrice
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Today, Beatrice found out that the only word Ava spelled the British way is “colour.” When she asked her way, Ava’s answer was:
“Because there’s no color in my world without u, Bea.”
Beatrice’s still ugly crying.
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Today, Ava took Beatrice to a karaoke bar. Ava sang ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme but changed the lyrics to "gimme gimme gimme a nun after midnight."
Bea, drunk on lemon drops, loudly shouted "I'm the nun! I'm her nun after midnight!"
Safe to say, the crowd was rightfully confused.
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Today, Camila and Beatrice made a TikTok video together.
Ava liked it immediately.
Lilith, on the other hand, decided to leave a comment.
(All 6 replies that Lilith got were Ava telling her to stfu.)
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Beatrice, writing a €20,000 cheque, completely distracted: I think it’s great that you’re doing this for breast cancer awareness month.
Ava: Bea, I’m raising money for local animal shelters.
Beatrice: Yes, I love wildfire relief. Great cause
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Right now, Ava is working as many “my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend, Bea” as possible into all of her sentences.
Beatrice is teary. Camila’s filming. Mother Superion is fighting the urge to smile. Yasmine is squealing. And Lilith, oh, Lilith is fake gagging right next to Ava.
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Today, Ava and Beatrice merged their Google calendars.
Ava never knew a person could be this meticulous, and Beatrice cried when she saw that Ava blocked out date nights, kept tabs on all of Bea’s favorite writers’ events, and even put down random “call Bea❤️” reminders.
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The story of Ava and Beatrice, as told through Ava’s phone contact:
#WarriorNunSaved
#WarriorNun
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Today, Beatrice found out she was, at one point, saved on Ava’s phone as “The Forbidden FRUIT 💋 ✝️”
Meanwhile Ava is still saved on hers as “Silva, Ava”
#WarriorNunSaved
#Avatrice
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Four months ago, Ava planted some pumpkin seeds in their backyard for a “spooky season surprise.”
Today, they had to get someone to clear out all the vines that threatened to overtake the whole space.
It’s store bought pumpkins from now on for the Silva household.
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Beatrice’s phone:
(It’s the “Wife” and no emoji for me.)
(Ava Silva would never.)
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Today, Ava and Beatrice almost got kicked out of a toy store because Ava found a donkey plushie next to a duck plushie and burst into laughter.
When Beatrice asked her why, the only two words a wheezing Ava could get out were “ass” and “quack.”
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Lilith: Hey, Holy Donut, your beautiful, wonderful, light-stabbed girlfriend Beatrice is asking for you in the infirmary.
Ava: STABBED?!
Lilith: Lightly.
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Today, Beatrice got home an hour late. Ava sulked and complained and sighed so dramatically, Bea had to cuddle her “poor, unloved, neglected, withering” girlfriend.
“Isn’t this nice?” Bea asked, holding Ava and peppering kisses on her face.
“Would’ve been nicer an hour ago.”
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65
Today, two things happened on a mission:
1) Beatrice fell off a moving car.
2) Ava yelled “POOKIE!” in front of the whole team as she watched Beatrice fall off a moving car.
If you asked Bea, it hurt more knowing the team knew about her pet name now.
#WarriorNunSaved
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“My beautiful, wonderful girlfriend Bea bought me this watch.”
“I’ll have to check with my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend Bea if we can host game night this week.”
“My beautiful, wonderful girlfriend Bea is mad at me because I made her tea in the microwave.”
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🫡 You didn’t think I forgot about Grandmothers Superion, right? And the one aunt that’s not allowed to pick the child up from school?
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Today, a Vatican-approved reporter asked the last Warrior Nun what she had for dinner last night.
The interview was cut short after Ava answered a little too honestly:
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Today, Ava found out that Beatrice had "Dear Beatrice," tattooed in her handwriting.
#WarriorNunSaved
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Right now, Beatrice is watching Ava wolf down two sandwiches and a whole pie with her bare hands.
Lilith thinks Ava looks like a wild animal, but Beatrice is already writing her wedding vows.
True love, it’s blind and deaf.
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Right now, Ava Silva is perched happily on her throne.
Or as everyone else calls it, “Beatrice’s lap.”
#WarriorNunSaved
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Today, the OCS went to a cat cafe in Budapest.
Mother Superion should’ve seen it coming, but somehow she didn’t, and now she got five fully grown adults who Pouted™️ and Pleaded™️ with her to let them keep pets at home.
“Please! It’s called CAT’S Cradle! Just one cat! Please!”
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Today, Lilith went shopping with Beatrice.
Never in her wildest dream had she dreamed that she'd one day hear her childhood best friend—a former nun—say the words "My girlfriend likes me in black lace and garter belts."
#WarriorNun
1
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Today, Beatrice and Ava went back to Madrid purely for fun.
They visited the palace, joined a tapas and wine walking tour, biked around the city, and took Flamenco lessons as a couple💃✨
They also did other things, but Beatrice wisely omitted those in her report to the OCS.
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🎃 Ava is indeed Beatrice’s for Halloween. For Christmas, too. For everything. In this life and the next.
Today, Ava and Beatrice are talking about what they want to be for Halloween.
Beatrice wants to be Mr. Darcy, and Ava? Well, Ava just wants to be Beatrice’s.
#SaveOURWarriorNun
#Avatrice
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Today, the OCS went whale watching 🐳
Ava wouldn’t stop asking people, “WHALE, this is nice, isn’t it?”
Everyone groaned, but not Beatrice. No, Beatrice just looked at Ava like she hung the moon.
True love, it’s disgustingly cute.
#WarriorNun
2
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Today, Ava’s taking care of a feverish Beatrice, who turned out to be a tyrant when ill.
So far Bea’s asked for “contactless cuddles” and “soup that’s hot but won’t burn on the way down”.
Ava has a strong suspicion that the OCS knew about Bea’s fussiness and didn’t tell her.
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Today, Ava and Beatrice are having hot pot and mooncake in celebration of Mid-Autumn Festival.
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Ava would much rather deep clean the cat’s cradle’s roofs than take Lilith to the dentist again.
1
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Today, the OCS went to get mammograms and ultrasounds together.
Please remind your breast(s)-having loved ones to get routine checkups🩷
1
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Today, Ava's sweating bullets trying to muster up the courage to ask Beatrice to be her girlfriend for real.
Meanwhile, Beatrice's already doodling "Beatrice Silva" in her journal and practicing her surprise face for when Ava proposes.
#WarriorNunSaved
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Today, Beatrice absentmindedly asked Ava, "Are you gonna be like this for the rest of our lives?"
To which, Ava answered, "Yes, in this life and the next."
0
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Today, the OCS is attending Dean English’s funeral.
He’s not dead, but he might wish he were after the fandom’s done with him.
#WarriorNun
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Right now, Camila’s explaining what “serving cunt” means to a confused and very alarmed Beatrice, who hasn’t stop checking her jeans for holes since Ava said it about her outfit.
#WarriorNunSaved
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Today, Ava found out that Beatrice’s fave movie was The Mummy.
Ava thought it’s because Beatrice had a thing for Rachel Weisz (who doesn’t?), but turned out Beatrice just wanted to wear suspenders and flirt with pretty women. Maybe fight a mummy or two. With a cool sword.
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@0verth1nkerCode
It used to be like this, but then Ava did something reckless during a mission and got demoted to just “Wife”
There’s another level below this, called “Contractually Bound Roommate”, reserved for when Ava stupidly sacrificed herself. Again.
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Today, Ava and Bea went to a museum.
Ava was banned from the medieval galleries for pointing at every painting of Jesus and loudly asking Bea “hey, remember being married to that guy?”
#WarriorNunSaved
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Today, they’re looking at pictures of all the sister warriors when they first arrived at the OCS.
Beatrice had an iPod in one photo. Camila used to have even curlier hair. Mary had just the one shotgun. And Lilith? Lilith wore OneDirection tees unironically EVERYWHERE.
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Beatrice: Ava, hugs
Ava: *hugs her sick girlfriend*
Beatrice: no, don’t touch me
Ava:
Beatrice: why aren’t you hugging me?!
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Today, Beatrice announced that she would like to try some queer activities with Ava.
The two of them went Birkenstock shopping and signed up for pottery classes.
#WarriorNunSaved
1
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Today, Camila befriended a local hacker named George, whom she called "handsome" and "cool".
Lilith spent the next couple of hours verbally and physically intimidating him.
George had to show Lilith a photo of his boyfriend to stop her from literally breathing down his neck.
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@0verth1nkerCode
“Ava when she sacrificed herself for the third time in two years” versus “Ava when she got them all-access VIP passes to a Latin literature seminar, with guest speakers on religion and faith”
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Today, Camila's making a chocolate whiskey cake that's more whiskey than chocolate.
Mother Superion said it's the best cake she's ever had.
#WarriorNunSaved
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Today, Ava's getting her mother's wedding ring resized for Beatrice.
(Camila might've pulled Beatrice's ring size from the convent's archives.)
#WarriorNun
#WarriorNunSaved
1
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29
Today, Ava found her "Switzer-land Honey" hoodie in Bea's drawer.
She got that hoodie in the Alps cuz she liked the lame wordplay. Beatrice liked the hoodie because it's a cute Bible quote, plus it smelled like Ava.
Anyway, that hoodie ended up on the floor later that day.
1
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Today, Ava learned that Beatrice had been sneakily hiding ice lollies in empty frozen veggie boxes because she knew it's the one place Ava would never look.
Ava called it a betrayal; Beatrice said it's a sign Ava should eat more veggies.
1
5
28
Today, Ava accidentally elbowed a sleeping Beatrice in the face opening a bag of Doritos in bed.
Ava's in so much trouble because:
1) Bea had a nosebleed.
2) She's not suppose to eat food in bed.
3) When Bea asked if they had Doritos earlier that evening, Ava lied and said no.
1
6
28
Today, Beatrice showed up to sparring practice with an already-scratched back.
The only person brave enough to acknowledge the situation was Lilith, who gave Ava a nail file and high-fived Beatrice on her way out.
#WarriorNunSaved
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Avatrice coded.
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27
Right now, Ava's watering the fake plants in Jillian's home office.
Later, Jillian will be wondering why there are puddles of water on her expensive hardwood floor.
#WarriorNunSaved
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26
Today, Ava got to pet three dogs on the train. Beatrice even took a photo of her bonding with one of them, a golden retriever named Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.
#WarriorNunSaved
2
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26
Right now, Beatrice’s asleep in the passenger seat as Ava drives them from the highlands back to Edinburgh.
She mumbles nonsensical phrases in her dreams, and Ava smiles to herself the whole way back to their hotel.
#WarriorNunSaved
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We could've had it all if Ava would just, like, whisper "I want to lick you." right here.
0
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Right now, Ava and Beatrice are sharing one whole walnut pie, watching rom coms, wearing nothing but oversized tees and fuzzy socks.
#WarriorNun
1
0
25
Today, Ava walked in on Mother Superion dancing in her office with her headphones on.
Because Suzanne didn't see her, and because she desperately wanted to live, Ava quickly backed out of the room and pretended she didn't just see Mother twerking.
#WarriorNunSaved
1
7
26
Right now, Camila's taking down all the security cameras in the Cat's Cradle because she just caught Suzanna and Jillian getting to second base in the wine cellar.
#WarriorNunSaved
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@leebeadorks
Ava simply took Bea’s phone and edited the contact. Now Beatrice’s phone looks like this:
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Today, Lilith found out that Beatrice had been teaching Ava slangs, and she did not care for it one bit.
Ava calling a burger “proper fit” in front of Lilith didn’t help with the case at all.
(ft. Camila’s reaction)
#WarriorNun
2
1
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Today, Camila talked Lilith into teleporting her to Madrid for lunch.
Hell's portal, still a safer mode of transportation than getting in Yasmine's car.
1
1
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Today, Michael told Ava she looked really good in her new Warrior Nun outfit.
Beatrice almost committed murder.
1
1
20
As much as Yasmine wanted people to associate her with Taylor Swift’s Getaway Car, the convent unanimously agreed that her theme song should be M.I.A.’s Bad Girls.
“Accelerating fast, I can do this in a second.” Yup, that’s Yasmine behind the wheel.
#WarriorNunSaved
1
1
18
Today, Lilith found out the tea review instagram account she'd been following was Beatrice's.
Lilith wanted to be mad, but Beatrice introduced her to her new favorite tea—Barry's—and she really couldn't complain.
1
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Today, Ava got an inflatable swimming pool for their cock spaniel puppy, Alfred, to play in.
#WarriorNun
#Avatrice
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"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" - Psalms 119:103 (NIV)
Safe to say this line was used in Beatrice's wedding vow, if an Avatrice wedding is your cup of tea.
#WarriorNunSaved
0
1
18
Beatrice: 🐮 no, moo-moo, so fluffy
Ava: 🥹 awww, someone’s dreaming of highland cows
1
1
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Today, Mother Superion found out the people bet on whether she and Jillian were dating.
She made sure everyone lost by announcing that she and Jillian broke up last month, much to Jillian's amusement.
#WarriorNunSaved
0
5
16
Right now, Ava's watering her newly purchased rosemary plant, completely unaware that she's drowning it.
#WarriorNun
1
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@medblr_td
Ava and Beatrice sharing the bottom bunk at convents/hostels with Camila in the top bunk tho🥹
Also Lilith teleporting to a five star hotel every night just to get away from Avatrice’s cuddly nonsense (and Cam’s night vision goggles.)
0
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Right now, Beatrice is explaining to Ava why it's an "atrocity" to make tea in the microwave.
Ava looks to Camila for help, but Camila, being half Scottish, is unfortunately firmly on Beatrice's side.
1
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14
Today, Yasmine became some kind of a local legend by being both "the most reckless driver the police had ever seen" and "the only UberEats driver who could deliver anything in under five minutes."
1
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@Alytlou2ellie
She called it the AVAngelical, and the Vatican called Beatrice twelve times that day.
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@0verth1nkerCode
@lojo83
Camila said it’s “extra-queer-icular” activities, but Beatrice said it’s “special dexterity training tailored to Ava’s needs”
1
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Yes, I specified food because other kinds of eating is not only allowed, but actually highly encouraged.
I said what I said.
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@0verth1nkerCode
Also Ava: and how the hell did you and Captain Cheekbones got into our house?! Also, how DARE you interrupt our cuddle time?
1
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9
Today, the OCS went to the zoo.
Yes, here at the OCS, the gang take their zoo outings very seriously, especially when there are otters and baby elephants involved.
#WarriorNunSaved
1
0
10
@RightStumble
Beatrice, two slices of cake down, started singing Bambola at the top of her lungs.
Mother Superion just looked at Beatrice and muttered, “Lightweight.”
1
0
8
@0verth1nkerCode
Beatrice, next spring: Darling, I’ve got a huge container for the pumpkins! We can try again!
Ava, showing Beatrice a new photo of the Sissinghurst garden: Forget about pumpkins, can we get twelve kinds of flowers?!
1
0
9
@0verth1nkerCode
Beatrice is half Chinese in everyone’s headcanon. Half Chinese, half English, 100% a tea lover.
1
0
8
Today, Ava wore a Polish flag pin upside-down.
When asked why she did it, Ava looked horrified and asked, “You’re telling me this is not a tuna sushi pin?!”
#WarriorNunSaved
2
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@0verth1nkerCode
Yes! Exactly! And Beatrice would be so pissed off cause Beauty also starts with Bea.
Ava: But I was in an orphanage and never felt like a princess 🥺
Bea: …Fine, fine, but just so you know, this won’t work forever.
Ava: But there’s a forever? 🥹
Bea: 😳
(Lilith: WHIPPED!)
1
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@rogue_thirteen
@LilyNTLe
Sure, Sister Beatrice can recover from physical injuries, but can she bounce back from everyone calling her Pookie for the foreseeable future? Not likely.
0
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@0verth1nkerCode
Bea is the Beast because
1) BEAst.
2) She’s scary on the outside but a soft pile of goo on the inside.
3) She (maybe, perhaps, unintentionally) growls in bed.
4) Ava is the prettiest.
And most importantly 5) Beatrice has a castle. Like. She’s “we have a castle” rich.
1
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@0verth1nkerCode
Cue Ava crying at their slightly wilting bed of roses and saying “Bea, I’ve killed our love! It’s dying! Beatrice, I’m so sorry!”
(And Beatrice’s just standing there, going, “Darling, the roses are fine, you’re just coming on your period. Come inside. I’ll make you tea.”)
1
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@0verth1nkerCode
Ava, after seeing Beauty and the Beast, would use the roses 🥀 as an excuse to make out with Beatrice.
“Oh no, the roses! Better give you a few true love’s kisses just to be safe!”
“Ava, why am I the Beast in this scenario??? Ava, stop kissing me and answer the question!”
1
0
4
@Alytlou2ellie
Ava: Why's everyone suddenly interested in the frozen veggie?
Lilith: It's so disgusting, we wanted to check the brand so we don't buy it again.
Ava: Oh okay cool.
—
Camila: I cannot believe you're gaslighting Ava.
Lilith: Do you want me to give the last one to Ava?
Camila: No.
1
0
4
@Alytlou2ellie
Camila filming Suzanne v.s. Suzanne chasing after Camila, screaming “delete that video, NOW!”
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