General R.C. Woods
@NotRodneyClyde
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DCF,
Prep for DCA ongoing. Corporal Mikey diligently holding up brooms during drills to simulate DCA height. Does anyone have any big foam fingers? Major Burchett could use some for his drills. (he's tall enough to not need the brooms)
General Woods
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Dearest Mr. Barnhart,
I have some room in my schedule. Hit me up.
(STILL) General Woods
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DCF,
Good win last night. The Card Faithful traveled well. The band was excellent. The troops hit on all cylinders. Although, it made me a bit sad to send Jack Baker home. Anybody with that name must be a fine fellow. Didn't feel sad long. On to the next one!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
As summer ball is set to start, I sit on my deck watching the sparrows dart to and fro. I reminisce about summer ball of old and long for how it used to be when I was employed. Oh, what could have been this summer...
General Woods (retired)(forcibly)
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Dear Diary,
Likes are hidden now. I can like all of
@PulaskiBarstool
's tweets about my fav 2 players and no one will ever know. Name across the chest? LOL! Coach loyalty > team loyalty.
PS: I wonder if
@PulaskiBarstool
will let me on their team Hudl account?
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Well it's been an interesting day. I've talked with my old teammates about what to do. So I've decided to just F it. F for Fun and Facts (sometimes). As I tell my players when they get old enough, vote Republican and Covid is fake!
Still Your General Woods
PS: Thanks Brian M ;)
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I still won't like any of
@SW_PRIDE_
's tweets though. That guy left for that stupid foosball game.
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DCF,
As my man
@TheHeadBird
is letting da region know 2 things: 1. MY team is Lit and 2. For a great low rate you can get online, go to the General and save some time!
General Woods
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DCF,
Running late with this battle, but we whooped the Warriors of the SW. Don't think they want any of this General and his squad! The District of the Lake Cumberland is MINE!
General Woods
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DCF,
I'd like to give a shout out to the Wayne Co. Band last night. Heck of a job! I enjoyed listening to them and knowing the songs! The Raiders tried slowing my men down, but no chance of that. Also, why am I hearing a loud voice from high up when we battle?
General Woods
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Well, I can't wait for the get together tomorrow night at the Aspire Center. I will enjoy seeing all my loyal followers and players. Curious are we bringing snacks and playing games? Also, will the pool be open?
General Woods
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DCF,
No battles tonight for your Cards. Instead, we will bask in the glory of being ranked 2nd by
@12thSports
for the night. When the morn dawns, we will start the drive anew for a 1st place ranking to finish the regular battle season.
General Woods
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Dear Commander Anonymous,
I am hearing that 2 more cadets could be finding a new home. Could it be true? I might as well go somewhere else and recruit also!
General Woods
P.S.: I still don't know what a maroon is!
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Dearest Card Faithful,
January is school board appreciation month. We appreciate a couple board members, but Larry Curly and Moe can jump in the lake. Also please note that Superintendent appreciation month will NOT be celebrated this year.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Region Championship night. We should be there, but we are not. My guts are in misery. Let not anyone forget that I, General R.C. Woods, is still the GOAT of the 12th region. 9 titles! 9! Recruit on that! 😉
Sad General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
The Patriots and Jumpers will be advancing from the north to Rodney Clyde Arena tonight. Regional battles are always fierce, but we WILL prevail!
General Woods
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A lot of local and statewide negative comments a week ago regarding a coach's last 5 yrs.
Coach A: 24-8, 17-14, 14-18, 9-14, 18-13 = 82-67/.550
Coach B: 23-9, 21-11, 26-7, 9-16, 25-6 = 104-49/.680
B=Calipari
A=Woods
Really think wisely before complaining!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
A new week brings sort of new hope. The Patriots will be a stout opponent for the 1st game of regional battles but they are not invincible. We shall overcome! (ALL of our cadets better have appointments with the barber before Wednesday)
General Woods
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DCF,
What a great dub tonight in the travels to Garrard Co. These Golden foes were kinda "lion" around to be pounced on by the Big Red Bird! One down to our journey to Rupp! Come on out tomorrow to Rodney Clyde Gym to see this General out rank the Colonels!
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
Today I watched a young man from Wayne County that performed on a big stage. He ran fast, jumped high, and had good hands. Why didn't he participate for me? Oh yeah, rules. How do I still get by with the haircut rule in this day and age?
General Woods
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DCF,
Final prep for DCA. 2nd Lt Blake "Belf " Upchurch will be demonstrating Roman Reigns Superman punches to be used at certain points of battle. It appears these moves could be advantageous after the Wayne/DCA girl's meeting. Throwing EVERYTHING at them!
General Woods
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DCF,
The last gameday at Rodney Clyde Fieldhouse for the year. Come out and support your valiant Cards as they battle yet another recruiting, errr, christian school. Hopefully, tonight's box score is better than Tues. night's. Sheweee it smelled like gangrene.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
As the school year comes to a close, know that in my 3hr meetings I never said, "if you can't beat them, join them". I can't believe 2 more cadets transferred to a rival. I guess we didn't sing the fight song enough this year. My bad.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
A few days since the Pulaski Maroons won the battle for the 12th. Congrats I guess. 37yrs battling them and I still don't know what a Maroon really is. I sometimes call them morons by mistake. Sometimes it's not a mistake...
General Woods
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DCF,
I would like to congratulate me and my team on winning the Distract Championship! You all feel free to come up to me and give me a big ol' hug!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
It is gameday.
Wait. That's tomorrow. But if it WERE gameday, we would be victorious!
Carry on.
General Woods
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Dear diary,
It's been 10 long years since my last region championship.
@PulaskiBarstool
is trying to catch up to my region total. This aggression shall not stand! I will work the cadets harder than ever in this offseason and demand even shorter haircuts.
General Woods
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@the_hutcher
@wflw957
Please make note that henceforth I will only answer to General Woods in the post-game presser.
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I received correspondence from Sargent Troxell:
General Woods:
Today is National Lost Dog Awareness Day. We're trying to find Smokey where the men are, but we know where he hasn't been. At a Final Four!
That is all.
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Dear Diary,
Sipping coffee this morning as I yearn for college bball of old. Before transfer portal and NIL deals. Playing for something bigger. At least we still have the purity of HS bball where kids play for THEIR school and community.
Wait. Dang it!
General Woods
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DCF,
ANNOUNCEMENT:
No food allowed on the stage for Friday's battles. Principal T. slipped on a leftover pepperoni and had to make a trip to the chiro. Not cool. The refs also complained that the smell of marinara sauce was clouding their judgement.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Gameday. Rockets are tough. Rockcastle is rocky. Hopeful that Culver's is open on the way home. Will report at a later time.
General Woods
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Dear Card Faithful,
We came up short in the battle. We are young, but age is just a number. Our offensive attack ran out of horse power. I shall cheer on the Volunteers of UT until they lose in the battle of 32 (fingers crossed for the Sweetness of the 16).
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Rodney Clyde Coliseum is back open for business. Practice is progressing. The new glass doors allow us to see the enemy coming from yards away. We hope to put all the money spent to good use as we destroy our foes.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Gameday. The Raiders are invading this evening looking for sweet revenge, but they shall have none and like it. (remember to keep the pepperoni off the stage)
General Woods
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@NateInSports
Good for you. I'm sure they'll get back to you after investigating all of the transfer portal activity. Look for a response in 2038.
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DCF,
As we have been battling over the last few weeks against fierce foes that many would have fled. Our soldiers have battled and feared none. Watch out Region of the 12th!
General Woods
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Dear Card Faithful,
As I sit in my UT room, I ponder tomorrow night's battle of Lincoln. Like a good neighbor, we shall not overlook. We will march north on the 27 to battle our mighty foes.
General Woods
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@12thregionking
DCA can have a chat with me when they've won 9 region championships. You know, like me. We'll be just fine next year.
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Today, my
#Vols
battle the abhorrent Dukies. Please don your best hunter orange attire (any hunting vest will do) and join me in cheering on the Vols just for one day. I think we can agree that Duke sucks.
General Woods
#volforlife
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Rigorous training continues. Christmas break skirmishes are upon us and WE. WILL. PREVAIL. Santa will not come down the chimney if the careless mistakes don't come down.
General Santa Woods
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DCF,
Tonight we battle. The fighting Richie Farmers will be a tough foe but we are ready. I expect the tension in the air to be thicker'n Richie's mustache.
General Woods
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DCF,
Not the outcome I wanted. DCF goes and recruits and abuses the rules. We had a good season but wanted a great season. Guess I'll go home and rewatch my vols of '75 on the vcr to raise my spirits!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
I am indebted to Wayne for cancelling classes today to mourn the end of our campaign. We will return stronger than ever, so much so that Ernie and Bernie would proud of our fortitude. Be ready for battle 12th region foes. Be ready...
General Woods
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DCF,
Well the evil Maroons of Pukelaski conquered us tonight. We've got to get better play out there. Just emotionally immature. How do we keep losing these battles with so much more talent than these other teams? I need to talk to my entourage!
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
I wonder what it takes to coach in the
@TheMasters
? Surely someone there needs a coach to help them understand that short hair and rebounding the ball wins championships. Surely. I will apply by day's end.
Still General Woods
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Dearest Wife,
The men are marching into the final week of summer battles. Dead period is soon upon us. I shall be home posthaste to relax by the cement pond and spend evenings listening to the whippoorwills with you.
General Woods
P.S. Did the little umbrella thingys arrive?
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Dearest Card Faithful,
I think the dirty blue Cats broke my Volunteers. From this day forward, let it be known there shall be no UK blue allowed in Rodney Clyde Coliseum. I can't stomach it any longer.
Double Sad General Woods
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@vaughtsviews
Good haircuts are essential, Larry. They easily bring one's shooting percentage up by 3 or 4 points.
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Dearest Card Faithful,
I see that a cadet has left the ranks. I have stressed name on front of jersey is more important in 114 hrs of meetings over 38 yrs. He must have missed that in the 2 three hr meetings he attended.
PS: Anyone need some Cardinal shirts?
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
I've been watching some ancient Vols footage to get the blues out. Luckly to help more, I've recorded my Vols game earlier today against the pitiful Wildcats. Watching this Victory is going to be sweeter than my flowing hair in '74!
General Woods
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DCF,
We take pride in self-discipline. I'm a little disappointed we didn't hold our composure with the little warriors. But look at the scoreboard at the end! Now let's get that draw tomorrow and get that Region Championship!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Today starts the battle of the last sixteen. Some call it "sweet" sixteen but it is the sour sixteen for me this year. It is as though I've eaten 12
@WARHEADS
at once. We SHALL return to the battle of the sixteen one day! Well...maybe.
General Woods
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DCF
It's the day after Christmas and not a day to lag. The cards are going, and I don't want to brag. Oh My hair, you have been missed. But now I am 4th, on the winning list. This Old Bird does not like to give an inch. Instead of Santa the men call me the Grinch.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
We honored the best to serve under my regime from the battles of 89. Thee ol' southpaw would razzle n dazzle on many nights, but came up short in the battle of PRP. However, I don't regret discarding his honorary trophy over the bridge.
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
As I sit in my Tennessee dungeon and think of my coaching career from Corbin to Wayne. I listen to my old friend Blake Shelton sing Ol' Red and reflect:
Love got me in here and love got me out!
General Woods
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@PulaskiBarstool
Sorry. I guess you aren't technically a rival until you guys get to double digit regional championships like us.
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PUBLIC SEVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Don't put your hands on the new doors that were recently installed on Rodney Clyde Field House. I don't like fingerprints. Meet the Cards (you already know me) should be fun, not messy.
General Woods
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DCF,
It's finally battle day. Wayne County pep has deemed the theme "white lies". What does that even mean? So disappointing. Nevertheless, come watch the Cards beat up on the Cougars.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
It has been a sad day yet again. My Volunteers of Rocky Top were eaten by the Tigers of Auburn in a brutal battle. And to make things even worse DCF, the Blue Cats of Ky smacked those Razorbacks. Where did I put my snake oil?
General Woods
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DCF,
Let it be known that neither of these cadets would be able to battle for my regiment. Why would you put your own hand in front of your face on the battlefield? Not smart.
General Woods
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Dear DCF,
Today is National Solitaire Day. Now leave me alone!
General Woods
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New correspondence:
General Woods:
Other battalion vote man off for having fun. Games meant to enjoy with friends. Punishment changes for who you are. Some want men to only play 1 sport. Manipulate and Control. Old politics still same. Maybe new President drain the swamp.
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Tonight we shall see who will rep the 12th in the historic Rupp. Oh what could have been if they would have wanted me. Sigh......
General Woods
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DCF,
Well we fell a little short last night to those other cardinals of Taylor. I plan on getting the troops back at it. An old friend of mine once said "You’re gonna eat lightning, you’re gonna crap thunder!”
General Woods
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DCF,
Once I had a girl on Rocky Top. She was half bear other half cat. Let me say she was wild as a mink, but she was sweet as soda pop. I still dream about that. Just like the Ernie and Bernie show!
General Woods
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Could I suggest everyone keep it down so I can hear me talk to myself? I'm having a hard time hearing my VICTORY SPEECH!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
My 38th regular season is behind me. My 38th post season is in front of me. Our troops are prepared. Heads are freshly shorn. We WILL prevail! If only
@SW_PRIDE_
's concession stand could be as good as Somerset Christian's.
Hangry General Woods
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DCF,
As I sit here at half, that was a crap shot at half that went in. I need my Uncle Mo from this packed crowd to get going and let the Warriors know WHO THEIR DADDY IS.
General Woods
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New correspondence just came in:
General Woods:
New President to be elected. Could bring changes. Depends which side of fence is greener. Will follow up. Chasing leads.
That is all.
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DCF,
We marched through Duvall Valley last week and while we were victorious in one skirmish against the Rebels, we were NOT victorious against the Bulldogs. I hope to meet those rascals again in order to avenge that defeat!
General Woods
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Dear DCF,
After looking at my card while coaching, the guy with the ball is dangerous. I have been looking at stats lately and they can be misleading. Say you go 0-8 one game, you still have a chance to shoot 100%. As the old timers say Tic Tac Toe 3 in a Row!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Since my last correspondence we defeated the Warriors of Southwestern but were annihilated by the Maroons of Pulaski. I'm not certain what a Maroon is but they were on target more often than not. Feeling disconsolate.
General Woods
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Dear Recruits,
Why are my men participating in other things? I can't even drill! Why are my numbers so low? There is only 1 thing that is important. Winning! These other things are not important to me! Come home, we'll swim in my cement pond!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Dead period is upon us. Of course, I've been in dead period since March 27. Well, except for the banquet. Remember, loyalty that goes up the ladder, goes down the ladder. Coach loyalty > program loyalty, always and forever, amen and amen.
General Woods
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DCF,
Once 2 strangers climbed Ol' Rocky top, Looking for a moonshine still. Strangers ain't come down from Rocky top, Reckon they never will.
Life lesson: If they would have worn their (gag) orange team colors (gag), they would have been found.
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
Today is Dear Diary Day. You're welcome that I made you a National Day. Also, why is there a lot of people by my gym? I see some of my men jumping up and down and yelling. I guess they are warming up for the next practice.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
It is game week. Your neatly shorn Cards are deep in training for a season of battles. Hopefully
@BarstoolWayneKy
has good material this year and the band doesn't interfere with Thunderstruck and Welcome to the Jungle. *fingers crossed*
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
The men are going to be young this upcoming season. So, although it must be "unofficial" now, I shall bring in my eldest to assist me now and then lead in the future. If a tree falls in the Woods, does it make a sound???
General Woods
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Card Troops,
Enjoy your last 2 days of fairs and bon bons. It's almost time to whip you young fellas into shape. When I was a young trooper, I had to run 18 miles up hill both ways to the gym and back in freezing rain! The road to 900 dubs will continue!
General Woods
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To Whom It May Concern:
Is it possible to get another table added to the scorer's table? We're starting to run out of room. Officials, friends, DJ. Oh, I just enjoy those songs I don't know. Really gets the crowd and this old heart a going! Pump Up The Jam!
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
The school year is almost over, and it's been an interesting one. No one has asked me to sign their yearbook, no see you next year, or we'll miss you. I was able to clean out my locker-room. Not sure if anyone wanted some of it but I didn't ask either.
General Woods
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Dearest Wife,
Summer battles are upon us. I shall be scarce around the homestead for the next few weeks. Please keep the cement pond clean and in order for my return after many (hopefully) victories. I hope to be resting pondside with you soon. Until then...
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
24hrs since our defeat. Hope is feeble, dismal and indistinct. The murmuration of missed assignments, bad haircuts, and wasted shots has been ongoing this day. The preparation for next year starts now! Or tomorrow. Maybe next week.
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
What a great time by all yesterday. It was acceptable that you got to see me in my new arena. Oh, what fun we will have with our 8! Why wait!
General Woods
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Dear Diary,
Two losses in a row. Whispers of lack of timely timeouts, minimal adjustments and subpar sub patterns are deafening. No battles until Friday. Corrections and improvements forthcoming. The cadets better have big boy pants ready for practice.
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P.S. Can you order some of those little umbrella thingys for drinks?
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DCF,
Squeaked by Whitley Co. Wasn't ready to play and tried to be showtime early. I wish I could have substituted more but got to play older guys since they have more wisdom. Winning is as hard as the bleachers in Rodney Clyde Monticello Gym!
General Woods
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Dear General Pope,
Just checking to see if you need another guy on the bench? I know a guy with a lot of years of experience! If so, he'll need a whole new set of clothes!
XOXO
General Woods
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DCF,
New year's resolutions include but are not limited to:
1. Don't let 1-win regiments defeat us in '24.
2. Call more time outs.
3. Don't lose to fictional mascots (i.e. Green Dragons)
4. Visit Somerset Christian's concession stand.
5. Check Facebook more.
General Woods
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@BarstoolWayneKy
Down at the gym reminiscing about my 1000+ player and coaching wins. Where else am I supposed to be?
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Dearest Kentucky,
Happy 231st Birthday! I can remember when you were only a territory. I know I tell stories of Tennessee but you will always be first in my heart. (Don't tell anyone or I'll deny it like I always do). Go Big Blue!
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful (DCF),
I'm gonna tell you some of my stories. It all started when I was a young lad and I wished I was on Ol' Rocky Top, down in the Tn Hills. Ain't no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top and there ain't no telephone bills. To be continued....
General Woods
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Dearest Card Faithful,
Try to get Taylor Swift to come to a ball game. The Swifties will pack R.C. Woods gym! We'll be rocking You belong to me and Love story. Now excuse me while I shake it off, shake it off on the playlist!
General Woods
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