NotKennyRogers
@NotKennyRogers
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Christian fella. Once saw Larry Bird at a Pizza Hut. 🇺🇸
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Joined February 2010
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Here's a look at some of the houses owned by speakers at last night's Democratic National Convention who spoke out against inequality in America and urged voters to fight back against evil rich people like Donald Trump and his friends:
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I need more clarity as to why the woman on the left is allowed to simply resign after her gross negligence led to Trump getting shot at a campaign rally while the grandma on the right was sentenced to two years in prison for praying outside of an abortion clinic.
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You currently have over 9,000 registered voters in your state all using the same 2 home addresses.
Maybe stop posting on Twitter about how Trump hurt your feelings and go do something about voter fraud.
My focus is on winning this November and saving our country from Kamala Harris and the Democrats - not engaging in petty personal insults, attacking fellow Republicans, or dwelling on the past.
You should do the same, Mr. President, and leave my family out of it.
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A brief history of how global warming destroyed Lake Mead in Nevada:
2021: "So far so good."
2022: "Oh no...global warming is destroying the lake!"
2023: "Global warming is getting worse and the lake is almost dry and will never recover!"
2024: "Oops, never mind. All good."
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"To be honest, even I was a little creeped out by Biden's speech." - Satan
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BREAKING: Joe Biden has submitted his NCAA March Madness bracket with a Final Four of Kentucky, Mexico, North Egypt State, and the Hamburglar.
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Arresting people for saying our elections are rigged seems like a horrible way to convince people our elections aren't rigged.
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Katy Perry commenting on the recent terror attack: "No barriers, no borders, we all need to coexist."
Here's the front of her mansion:
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Democrats will have some guy in an evening gown and sensible pumps talking about George Floyd and climate change at their convention.
I'll take this every single time:
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The guy on the left has been arrested 8 times so far in 2024 for selling drugs, possessing guns, domestic violence, and grand theft.
He's currently free on bail.
The woman on the right sold Ashley Biden's shower diary.
She's was just sentenced to a month in prison.
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Tomorrow night, a man who was recently found mentally unfit to stand trial will be giving a speech to let everyone know the current state of our Union.
That's where we're at.
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And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep
You gotta know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em...
RIP Kenny
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With North Carolina, Virginia, and Michigan State now out of the NCAA tournament, I think it's really important for the entire country to put aside our differences for the next couple of weeks and join together in rooting against Duke.
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Pat McAfee announcing yesterday that Aaron Rodgers would no longer be appearing on his show and then the Jimmy Kimmel nerds spending all day celebrating and then Pat McAfee having Aaron Rodgers back on his show today is one of the better trolls I've seen in the last few years.
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From 1862 until his surrender in 1865, ESPN college football announcer Robert Lee commanded the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia.
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Just to be clear...
Don Lemon got fired because nobody watched him.
Tucker Carlson got fired because everybody watched him.
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I see Twitter is trying to promote a "Not My President" hashtag. Let me see if I can help:
I'm so happy Hillary Clinton is
#NotMyPresident
.
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In the last 24 hours, Hillary Clinton applauded an 11-year-old girl for kneeling during the Pledge of Allegiance, Andrew Cuomo stated "America was never great to begin with," and a grown man in a dress won the DNC nomination for governor of Vermont.
Please vote on November 6th.
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The fact a radical Muslim extremist getting arrested in New Mexico for training a group of malnourished children how to become school shooters wasn't the top story of the week pretty much explains why over the half the country no longer trusts the media.
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I hope Angel Reese and Chennedy Carter wished Caitlin Clark a Happy Father's Day because she's their daddy.
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Going to IHOP for burgers is kind of like going to a Florida Georgia Line concert for country music.
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Keith Olbermann is having an absolute meltdown over RFK Jr. supporting Trump.
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Eva Longoria kicked off the Democratic National Convention by saying the past 4 years have left us "diminished and divided."
Here's a picture of Eva Longoria's $15 million mansion in Beverly Hills with armed security and a giant wall around it:
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If you're not rooting for this guy to win the NIT tonight, I have to assume you hate America.
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I know our society tends to idolize Hollywood celebrities, but these firefighters battling flames all across Los Angeles right now are actual heroes. Thank you!
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34 years ago today, a food chemist from Illinois named Clark Wilhelm Griswold put down $7,500 for an inground swimming pool.
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Here's the row of limousines outside the
#Emmys
right now ordered by celebrities who will be warning us about global warming tonight:
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#IfIWonABillionDollars
- Chick-fil-A open this Sunday
- Van Halen back together by Monday
- "The Office" back in production by Tuesday
- Twitter EDIT button by Wednesday
- Florida Georgia Line in prison by Thursday
- Everyone gets Friday off
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Because Colin Kaepernick went 1-11 in his last 12 starts. Next question.
Why the NFL dumped Colin Kaepernick but won’t do squat to Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker
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BREAKING: The FBI raided Luke Bryan's house this morning looking for country music.
They found nothing.
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"Let's Go Patriots!!!" - Kim Jong-un, Iran, Florida Georgia Line, people who eat Tide PODS, Lord Voldemort, King Joffrey, Nancy Pelosi, MSNBC, guys who watch "The Bachelor," Seth Meyers, gout, Cobra Kai, Ivan Drago, Rosie O'Donnell, Duke basketball fans, Luke Bryan, Satan, and OJ
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The fact they released the Diddy video today after having it for 8 years tells me he was no longer useful.
The fact they still haven't released any of the names on the Epstein client list tells me they are all still very useful.
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43 years ago today, President Reagan was shot.
I was a little kid in Indiana at the time and this news troubled me greatly, so I quickly made a "get well soon" card, grabbed some jellybeans from our kitchen, and asked my mom to send them off to the White House.
He wrote back:
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If you start the movie "Hoosiers" at 10:07 p.m. and 48 seconds tonight, you'll ring in the New Year just as Jimmy Chitwood hits the final shot.
No need to thank me.
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In the 18 years since 9/11, I think one of the biggest failures of our society is how we've managed to water down what it truly means to be brave.
Just so we're all clear, walking UP those steps of the World Trade Center on that horrible day is exactly what it means to be brave.
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Stop listening to people who say we all hate each other.
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On Thursday, Richard Sherman said he doubts he'd attend a Super Bowl ceremony at the White House.
He was correct.
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Just so we're all clear, the old man yelling on your TV right now was recently found to be mentally unfit to stand trial for corruption.
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They call the guy on the left a "newcomer" and the guy on the right "the greatest threat to our country since the Civil War."
Please be more pissed off.
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38 years ago today, President Reagan was shot.
I was a young boy at the time and this news troubled me greatly, so I quickly wrote a "get well" letter, grabbed a handful of jellybeans from our kitchen, and asked my mom to send it off to the White House.
He wrote back:
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7 TIPS FOR A BETTER 2019:
1. Stop talking politics 24/7
2. Don't be offended by everything
3. Delete Facebook from your phone
4. Go to church every week
5. Call your local country radio station and tell them to stop playing crap
6. Care less about reality TV stars
7. Pray often
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Hakeem Jeffries is on stage at the Democratic National Convention quoting the Bible while a van is parked outside giving women free abortions.
This truly is Book of Revelation stuff right here.
Pure evil.
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Happy 60th birthday to Keanu Reeves.
He's 148 days younger than Tim Walz.
For real. Not kidding.
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"Welcome to Chick-fil-A. How may I serve you?"
"It's me."
"$9.26. Please pull forward."
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34 years ago today, the most important film ever made was released in theaters.
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The woman on the left admitted to fatally smothering her 2-month old baby while high on meth.
She was just found Not Guilty and set free.
The woman on the right prayed inside the Capitol for ten minutes on January 6th.
She was just found Guilty and faces one year in prison.
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Turns out jobs were more important to Ohio than Jay Z and Beyonce.
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Hollywood: "We must take these sexual misconduct claims seriously!"
Also Hollywood: "Tune into the new season of "The Bachelor" starting Jan. 1st at 8 p.m. where one guy gets to try out 20 women like used automobiles!"
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This morning in church, I said a special prayer for every dad out there whose daughter will be coming home from college this Thanksgiving with her new vegetarian boyfriend named Garrett.
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37 years ago today, President Reagan was shot.
I was a young kid growing up in Indiana at the time and decided to send him a "get well soon" note along with a handful of jellybeans I grabbed from our kitchen.
48 days later, this letter arrived in the mail:
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Same person who was asking people to chip in last month to help send her son to a little league baseball tournament:
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But to be clear...you will still be using armed security to violently drag passengers off your flights, right?
United is notifying the NRA that we will no longer offer a discounted rate to their annual meeting and we are asking that the NRA remove our information from their website.
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I'd like to send out a special prayer to every dad out there whose daughter will be coming home from college for Thanksgiving this week with her new vegetarian socialist boyfriend named Garrett.
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33 years ago today, a food chemist from Illinois named Clark Wilhelm Griswold put down $7,500 for an inground swimming pool while waiting for his Christmas bonus to show up from work.
#NeverForget
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Here's a picture of Bill Clinton being sent out as a last ditch effort to save Democrats in the midterm elections.
Oops...that's actually a picture of Clinton with Ghislaine Maxwell boarding one of his 26 flights to Jeffrey Epstein's island full of underage sex slaves.
My bad.
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders just filled out their
#NCAATournament
brackets and they have all 68 teams going to the Final Four.
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The average U.S. soldier makes $33,000/year.
The average State Trooper makes $60,000/year.
Colin Kaepernick has made over $50 million since 2011.
Dear Nike...just shove it.
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The University of Southern California reportedly passed on LSU head coach Ed Orgeron because they didn't like his accent.
How does one say "You guys just lost the San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl 49-24 to Iowa" in Cajun?
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On October 1st, 2019, Hillary Clinton and her daughter went on the view and called Trump an "illegitimate president" because Russia rigged the election.
The cast nodded in agreement and the crowd applauded.
When do we put all of these hags on trial?
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30 years ago tonight, a food chemist from Illinois named Clark Wilhelm Griswold put down $7,500 for an inground swimming pool while waiting for his Christmas bonus to show up from work.
#NeverForget
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It's simply horrific that half the room at the
#SOTU2019
refused to applaud the idea of not killing children.
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Thank God for the toxic masculinity displayed by those brave men on June 6th, 1944.
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156 years ago today, three brave Americans defeated El Guapo at the Battle of Santa Poco to give Mexico its independence.
#CincoDeMayo
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The greatest "drop the mic" moment in the history of the world.
Happy Easter, everybody.
He is risen indeed!
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Coronavirus deaths in the U.S.:
April 6th - 1,212
May 6th - 2,701
June 6th - 725
July 6th - 244
It appears some people are getting angry that I keep posting this factual and easy to find data. Odd.
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Bernie Sanders just handed in his NCAA tournament bracket and he has all 68 teams making the Final Four.
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155 years ago today, three brave Americans defeated El Guapo at the Battle of Santa Poco to give Mexico its independence.
#CincoDeMayo
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Remember in 2021 when Jimmy Kimmel said unvaccinated American who take Ivermectin should be left to die if they get sick but then it turned out the vaccines didn't work and this week the FDA was forced to remove all posts about Ivermectin because it actually did work?
Hilarious.
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10 TIPS FOR 2020
1. Stop tweeting politics 24/7
2. Don't be offended by everything
3. Delete Facebook from your phone
4. Go to church
5. Care less about reality TV stars
6. Care more about stopping bro country
7. Fewer selfies
8. Read books
9. Hang out with family
10. Pray often
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The Academy Awards...where celebrities who took private jets and limos to an event surrounded by armed security where only the top .0001% are allowed in will preach to the rest of us about global warming, immigration, and gun control.
#Oscars90
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I just made my own vaccination card to show people who yell at me for not wearing a mask in Los Angeles:
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If your boyfriend is watching "The Bachelor" instead of Alabama vs. Clemson right now...I'm pretty sure you can do better.
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Thomas Matthew Crooks is the only 20-year-old on the planet who wasn't active on social media.
But I'm sure everything is fine.
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110,000 people showing up to a George Strait concert in Texas tonight is the country I love.
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If you're more angry at Peyton Manning for playing golf with Pres. Trump than you are at terrorists for killing people...you're the problem.
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157 years ago today, three brave Americans defeated El Guapo at the Battle of Santa Poco to give Mexico its independence.
Happy
#CincoDeMayo
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I'm starting a GoFundMe to stop Alyssa Milano's kid's baseball team from going to the Little League World Series.
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51% of college students support socialism, United Airlines now offers non-binary gender booking, and Jussie Smollett was just nominated for an NAACP Image Award.
The whole idea of April Fools' Day seems kind of pointless.
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Few things sum up 2017 quite like a bunch of painfully annoying rich kids tweeting about a tax bill they know nothing about from a $799 iPhone given to them by their parents.
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Although officially an atheist country, China is now home to an estimated 100 million Christians.
There is simply nothing more powerful on earth than the Word of God.
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65% of Democrats now want Biden to drop out.
115% of Democrats will still vote for him if he's their candidate in November.
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33 human beings shot so far in Chicago over Memorial Day Weekend.
No media coverage, no walkouts planned, no screams for Rahm Emanuel to "do something."
Makes me think the Left's outrage over gun violence has very little to do with gun violence.
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33 years ago tonight, Daniel Larusso was brutally attacked by a gang of bullies. If we fail to learn history...legs get swept.
#NeverForget
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The fact we now have to warn people not to eat Tide PODS pretty much explains why Kim Kardashian has over 58 million followers on Twitter.
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Hey
@united
...why are you charging $1,732.00 for people trying to leave Miami now when it's only $288 after the hurricane hits?
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Chris Stapleton's wife just gave birth to twins and they can already name more Merle Haggard songs than Florida Georgia Line.
#ACMawards
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Never trust anyone who doesn't quote "Christmas Vacation" at least 10 times over the next 8 weeks.
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Merry Christmas to everyone except for Kim Jong-un, Meryl Streep, Iran, Luke Bryan, people who complain about having lower taxes, ISIS, Florida Georgia Line, MSNBC, CNN, Matt Lauer, Rosie O’Donnell, Duke basketball fans, gnats, rashes, gout, Woody Allen, Macklemore, Satan, and OJ
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The Obamas have a 6,892 square foot house sitting on 29.3 secluded acres valued at $11.9 million.
Currently housing zero illegal immigrants.
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Governor Cuomo just spoke at the Democratic National Convention about Covid response.
I have to assume OJ is coming out next to share tips on a healthy marriage?
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1775: "Give me liberty or give me death."
1858: "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
1963: "I have a dream..."
2019:
#WeVapeWeVote
Ugh.
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I would sincerely hope that the President of the United States declaring Easter Sunday as a "Transgender Day of Visibility" would be the last straw for any Christians out there still holding onto the notion we shouldn't vote for the GOP nominee because of some mean tweets.
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