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not yolin

@NotCnnorMcDavid

Followers
628
Following
364
Media
1,875
Statuses
14,715

beer drinker. big duck guy. satire, none of this is real.

Pittsburgh, PA
Joined February 2012
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
me_irl:
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
cant get a dui on christmas
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 months
gentlemen, i have an idea.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 years
That moment when @DanyAllStar15 has more followers than the Florida Panthers... http://t.co/of99il2OJP
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 months
Call this shit a constellation because it’s a big dipper
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
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9 years
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
i’m Pittsburgh sober today (diabolically hungover and drinking the instant i wake up)
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
@MrJamesMay has clarkson lost some weight?
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 months
@SmokeyMcC But does YouTube know that white bowsa is a prweadadar??
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 years
SO KEEP THE BLOOD IN YOUR HEAD AND YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
not to get religious on everyone, but how the fuck is burger king still in business
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
this was satirical.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 years
SO KEEP THE BLOOD IN YOUR HEAD AND YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND @PPMWtweets
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 months
AOC is so mad we’re decimating beers on a Sunday like today (yes the guy in converses is a liberal)
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 months
work christmas party tap in with ms notcnnormcdavid, they never should’ve had this at a casino. I just put my 401k on Iowa. It’s over, it’s so over. No comebacks here, no making it out. This is it, it’s been a hell of a ride and i’m not fucking leaving.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
lmfao okay monaca
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
Scott Pilgram (Me) vs The World (speed limits)
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
@ReportsByWari0 @chickentenderl5 @BurnerWjp thank you wario and thank you santa
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
y’all Florida Georgia Line really is a gift right from god
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
pour one out for the homie, 14 years of ball chasing finally caught up to him
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 years
When the aggregate demand curve doesn't match the aggregate supply curve: http://t.co/T8ioCmncDh
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
i would die for jake farris
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
wrecked my car checking a @brendan905 tweet notification, lets fucking gooooooooo
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 months
My goal is to bring home every troop possible before Christmas, and I’ll tap in to every beer I have to to ensure that it happens. If you don’t tap in you’re a communist, simple as that. 🇺🇸🦅
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
forget ISIS, white women in SUVs are the biggest threat to this nation
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
i haven’t told emily yet, but i made Valentine’s Day dinner reservations at the best restaurant in Pittsburgh (It’s Chili’s)
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 years
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 years
Had a nice conversation with a State Trooper today and oddly enough his gun didn't shoot me, almost like guns don't control themselves.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 months
Gentlemen, i am tapped into a tall Modelo @ Chili’s of all goddamn places on Thanksgiving Eve of all goddamn nights. It’s over, i mean it’s so over. I can see the future, and buddy i’m fucked. Tap in, boys 🫡
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 years
Favorite Christmas present @NeckDeepUK http://t.co/TQN5OIT9wT
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
rehearsal dinner tap in. Where we at gentlemen?
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 months
going to grab a few beers, y’all need anything?
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
2 years
fuck, i’d have a beer
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 months
the libs are furious that i’m treating sunday like a friday. i mean AOC just called (i didn’t answer because i don’t deal with bullshit on sundays) and i could tell she was FUMING.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 years
Spotify premium is the best investment I've ever made
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
i just saw a man walk out of the wine and spirits store, carrying a box of wine to his extremely excited wife while she waited in a Nissan Frontier and if that’s not my future, i don’t know what is.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
i have had (0) zero good experiences with girls that wear camouflage
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
Suggestions for New Student Orientation Day: Make students watch John Wick Bounce House Make students watch John Wick 2 Keanu Reeves as a keynote speaker
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
as my conservative father put it, “as soon as they stormed the building, they should’ve been shot.”
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 years
Gotta respect the guy who will talk and text your girlfriend all the time when you're not around, then disappear at first sight of you.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
imagine growing up catholic and not having a list of psychological problems as long as the bible
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
y’all already know that Post’s new album fucking SLAPS but i’m gonna tweet it anyway
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 years
McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Bacardi sponsoring an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 years
Cut my brain into hemispheres I wanna smash my face til there's nothing but ears @PPMWtweets
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
who said florida has the right to have any say so in anything important
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
gentlemen, we are tapped back in to a busch, and a triple retard. It’s red zone time baby lets go
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
girls that rest their head on your shoulder when they’re sitting next to you are the best girls 🤷‍♀️
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
Reason to live:
@beingasanocean
𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍
7 years
Alright, We bought out our contract. Being As An Ocean is now an independent band. THORNS ON FRIDAY. BLACK & BLUE A WEEK AFTER LETS GO
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
The waiter says, “bacon or sausage?” I reply with, “pork.” Fuck.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
Gentlemen, I hate to say it but i’m tapping in already. Golf outing be damned
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
9 months
i feel like i have to tap in for my first ever nomination on BOTW. Thank you gentlemen, i hope this is the first of many.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
i gotta quit buying shit when i drink
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
boy we are at another wedding, and it’s IC city. Gonna need some tapped in confirmation boys
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
gentlemen, im 7 coors deep. went out for some din with ms notcnnormcdavid and ended up with the finest thing Mexico has ever produced. Viva la cerveza, im in it
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
i can’t fucking drink responsibly
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
holy shit 😂😂😂
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
fuck it, i’m drinking 1,000 beers. nothing matters anymore
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
Busch Light tap in, Sugar Ray is on, no way we’re getting stopped now lfg
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
i will find you, Ron from Amazon Customer Support, and i will make your life a living hell
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
2 years
playing in the most prestigious golf event ever (United Slovak Club Open) wish me luck
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 months
Gonna drink 10 $8 beers and buy a new driver because fuck you that’s why. Pittsburgh Golf Show tap in, wya?
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
10 months
this has gotta have some kind of tap in boost for each beer consumed while wearing it. s/o ms notcnnormcdavid for the new year’s eve fit. (toes included for style points)
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
@traphouseSports TRAPHOUSE WINTER OLYMPICS TRAPHOUSE WINTER OLYMPICS
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
it’s always Big Lots this, Big Lots that. man fuck Big Lots
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
Mirrors will always be JT’s best song, fuck you.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 months
PENGUINS HOCKEY FUCK
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
3 years
i’m thinking maybe the alcohol is addicted to me at this point
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
i’m so glad i didn’t grow up going to disneyland every year, y’all are fuckin weird
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
I can’t wait to recklessly spend my tax return and financial aid kickback money on a vehicle I don’t need
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
if last night had a movie title, it’d be Saving Private Nych
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
2 years
just because i caramelize onions in my spare time doesn’t mean i have a fucking clue
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
white women in jeeps are an absolute force of nature
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
I can’t imagine driving through Donegal and not having 3 different cars pull out in front of me and drive 10 under the speed limit
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
pour one out for the jeep patriot that just took the speeding ticket bullet for me. rip you, dude.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
perfect people don’t go to church. perfect people smoke meth and bowl on wednesdays
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
I want to post a picture of Noah and I on Instagram but I don’t want to push the “are they together?” idea any further than it already is.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
Tom is watching professional cornhole right now on fuckin ESPN and there’s no way he’s not on drugs
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
11 months
Riverview tap in for the stiller game, lets get those troops home before christmas
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
I’m hungry for some muthafuckin GOLDFISH
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
2 years
one like and i buy it
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 years
Dana and I have been together 21 months today, so that's pretty wild.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
2 years
this is my finest work
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
@GuyDealership 1999 Silverado 1500, $500. Starts, stops, steers.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
7 years
I feel personally attacked by this
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
my car has 666 in the vin and i always call route 119 the highway to hell, so mark my words i will die in this car on that highway.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
i’m a toyota tacoma and a 401k away from being a 36 year old suburban, little league dad
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
8 months
i mean you just gotta tap in at a time like this
@trashpandas
Rocket City Trash Pandas
8 months
tapping in for baseball season
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
5 years
still can’t believe @liv_cowherd has her own super bowl. unimaginable.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
4 years
i’m going to sleep so soundly tonight from drinking enough that i forget there’s a presidential election
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
6 years
look at this and tell me that birds aren’t government spies, you can’t.
@birdsarentreal
Birds Aren't Real
6 years
While the phony Liberal Media totally falls for the Trump smokescreen, Russia is parading their PutinDrones around in plain sight. Wake up.
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@NotCnnorMcDavid
not yolin
1 year
Yolin’s Beer Review 6: I’ll tell you what, Mexico went crazy when they made these. This is a 10/10 beverage. Me gusta cerveza de Mexico y mujeres blancas. Soy en estado de embriaguez, eres tú?
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