not yolin
@NotCnnorMcDavid
Followers
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Following
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Media
1,875
Statuses
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beer drinker. big duck guy. satire, none of this is real.
Pittsburgh, PA
Joined February 2012
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That moment when
@DanyAllStar15
has more followers than the Florida Panthers...
http://t.co/of99il2OJP
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Call this shit a constellation because it’s a big dipper
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@FvckGoodell
@chickentenderl5
@ReportsByWari0
@BurnerWjp
@roadsoda69420
get in loser, we’re going boozing
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i’m Pittsburgh sober today (diabolically hungover and drinking the instant i wake up)
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SO KEEP THE BLOOD IN YOUR HEAD
AND YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND
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not to get religious on everyone, but how the fuck is burger king still in business
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AOC is so mad we’re decimating beers on a Sunday like today (yes the guy in converses is a liberal)
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work christmas party tap in with ms notcnnormcdavid, they never should’ve had this at a casino. I just put my 401k on Iowa. It’s over, it’s so over. No comebacks here, no making it out. This is it, it’s been a hell of a ride and i’m not fucking leaving.
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y’all Florida Georgia Line really is a gift right from god
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pour one out for the homie, 14 years of ball chasing finally caught up to him
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When the aggregate demand curve doesn't match the aggregate supply curve:
http://t.co/T8ioCmncDh
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My goal is to bring home every troop possible before Christmas, and I’ll tap in to every beer I have to to ensure that it happens. If you don’t tap in you’re a communist, simple as that. 🇺🇸🦅
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forget ISIS, white women in SUVs are the biggest threat to this nation
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i haven’t told emily yet, but i made Valentine’s Day dinner reservations at the best restaurant in Pittsburgh (It’s Chili’s)
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Had a nice conversation with a State Trooper today and oddly enough his gun didn't shoot me, almost like guns don't control themselves.
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Gentlemen, i am tapped into a tall Modelo @ Chili’s of all goddamn places on Thanksgiving Eve of all goddamn nights. It’s over, i mean it’s so over. I can see the future, and buddy i’m fucked. Tap in, boys 🫡
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the libs are furious that i’m treating sunday like a friday. i mean AOC just called (i didn’t answer because i don’t deal with bullshit on sundays) and i could tell she was FUMING.
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i just saw a man walk out of the wine and spirits store, carrying a box of wine to his extremely excited wife while she waited in a Nissan Frontier and if that’s not my future, i don’t know what is.
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i have had (0) zero good experiences with girls that wear camouflage
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Suggestions for New Student Orientation Day:
Make students watch John Wick
Bounce House
Make students watch John Wick 2
Keanu Reeves as a keynote speaker
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as my conservative father put it, “as soon as they stormed the building, they should’ve been shot.”
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Gotta respect the guy who will talk and text your girlfriend all the time when you're not around, then disappear at first sight of you.
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imagine growing up catholic and not having a list of psychological problems as long as the bible
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y’all already know that Post’s new album fucking SLAPS but i’m gonna tweet it anyway
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McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Bacardi sponsoring an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
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who said florida has the right to have any say so in anything important
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gentlemen, we are tapped back in to a busch, and a triple retard. It’s red zone time baby lets go
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girls that rest their head on your shoulder when they’re sitting next to you are the best girls 🤷♀️
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Reason to live:
Alright,
We bought out our contract.
Being As An Ocean is now an independent band.
THORNS ON FRIDAY. BLACK & BLUE A WEEK AFTER LETS GO
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The waiter says, “bacon or sausage?” I reply with, “pork.” Fuck.
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Gentlemen, I hate to say it but i’m tapping in already. Golf outing be damned
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i feel like i have to tap in for my first ever nomination on BOTW. Thank you gentlemen, i hope this is the first of many.
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boy we are at another wedding, and it’s IC city. Gonna need some tapped in confirmation boys
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gentlemen, im 7 coors deep. went out for some din with ms notcnnormcdavid and ended up with the finest thing Mexico has ever produced. Viva la cerveza, im in it
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fuck it, i’m drinking 1,000 beers. nothing matters anymore
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Busch Light tap in, Sugar Ray is on, no way we’re getting stopped now lfg
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i will find you, Ron from Amazon Customer Support, and i will make your life a living hell
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playing in the most prestigious golf event ever (United Slovak Club Open) wish me luck
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Gonna drink 10 $8 beers and buy a new driver because fuck you that’s why. Pittsburgh Golf Show tap in, wya?
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this has gotta have some kind of tap in boost for each beer consumed while wearing it. s/o ms notcnnormcdavid for the new year’s eve fit. (toes included for style points)
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it’s always Big Lots this, Big Lots that. man fuck Big Lots
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i’m thinking maybe the alcohol is addicted to me at this point
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i’m so glad i didn’t grow up going to disneyland every year, y’all are fuckin weird
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I can’t wait to recklessly spend my tax return and financial aid kickback money on a vehicle I don’t need
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if last night had a movie title, it’d be Saving Private Nych
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just because i caramelize onions in my spare time doesn’t mean i have a fucking clue
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I can’t imagine driving through Donegal and not having 3 different cars pull out in front of me and drive 10 under the speed limit
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pour one out for the jeep patriot that just took the speeding ticket bullet for me. rip you, dude.
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perfect people don’t go to church.
perfect people smoke meth and bowl on wednesdays
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I want to post a picture of Noah and I on Instagram but I don’t want to push the “are they together?” idea any further than it already is.
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Tom is watching professional cornhole right now on fuckin ESPN and there’s no way he’s not on drugs
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Riverview tap in for the stiller game, lets get those troops home before christmas
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Dana and I have been together 21 months today, so that's pretty wild.
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my car has 666 in the vin and i always call route 119 the highway to hell, so mark my words i will die in this car on that highway.
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i’m a toyota tacoma and a 401k away from being a 36 year old suburban, little league dad
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i mean you just gotta tap in at a time like this
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i’m going to sleep so soundly tonight from drinking enough that i forget there’s a presidential election
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look at this and tell me that birds aren’t government spies, you can’t.
While the phony Liberal Media totally falls for the Trump smokescreen, Russia is parading their PutinDrones around in plain sight. Wake up.
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Yolin’s Beer Review 6: I’ll tell you what, Mexico went crazy when they made these. This is a 10/10 beverage. Me gusta cerveza de Mexico y mujeres blancas. Soy en estado de embriaguez, eres tú?
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