Sir Captain Barnacle CBE
@NorthantsBarney
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A microscopic cog
A catastrophic plan
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I is sat at the outside dinner table but there is no outside dinner.
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I’M BACK PALS!! Got a little bandage that the vet said I could take off but I fink it adds to the slightly pathetic ‘feel sorry for me, I’ve had a little op’ vibe. Just had some scramblies, rice and butternut squash for me tea.
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Barney’s mum here. He has been safely deposited at the vet. They’ve decided to do some tests on his lymph nodes as they are still slightly enlarged. Paws crossed all is well. We’re all a bit worried at Patamia Heights.
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So today Ellie did have a job interview for her dream Saturday job and she got it!! She now works at the library. Yay for her.
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Hi all, just popping on to say that we been a bit quiet this week. That because very sadly mum’s mum died on 3rd Jan unexpectedly. We taking some time out but will be back wiv the usual rubbish in due course.
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So I bin to the Vetty-Man and he said I had a fatty lump and that it was an old boy problem!
#rude
Can’t believe she paid 50 quid for me to be insulted!! 🤣🤣🤣
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Great news pals. The Vetty Lady phoned mum and apawrently me lymph node specimens they took when I was having a snooze the other day have come back from the lab all clear. Not sure I trust a Labradog wiv such fings but mum sez it good news!
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Ok pals, send me your best ‘this pic is NOT getting shown on a cute dogs feature on
#crufts
’ photo. Here be mine...
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Well pals, Fanks for the advice! I a cozy boy now!
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Is it naughty to wander into the room your mum is working in, select a really loud squeaky ball your pal gave you then proceed to lie under the table your mum us working at and squeak it loudly whilst she is on a work call?
#askingforafriend
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Mum is unimpressed she has to go back to work tomorrow. Apparently she’s interested in finding a role that pays her to watch telly, unwrap chocolates & eat them, do day drinking & subsist almost completely on small foods served in little bowls as these are now her main skills.
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Mum is feeling poorly today. I’m helping by doing smelly bum quacks this proving she has not lost her sense of smell. I did one so bad it confirmed she had also not lost her sense of taste! *helpful ears*
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Mum sez she just want to share dis. It coz she’s seen dis that she knew what to do today.
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Today it be my TENTH Gotcha Day or Barniversary as we call it here!
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I not myself today. I been sick a few times and I looking very sad. Having a cuddle wiv mum now.
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Well our Ellie is 16 today! Mum and Dad and me is all very proud of her. *nods*
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Barney update. He’s awake after his dental and had 4 teefs out. They think his lymph nodes are smaller than previous but still a little enlarged so we are going to have the samples they took while he was asleep sent to the lab. The vets don’t sound hugely concerned though.
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Is 46 (and a half) too old to wear a bejewelled shorts play suit to a 1920s Gin Festival??? (Asking for a mum!) 🤔🍸
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Last up the Flat Coat Retriever. Flat coat retrievers are trained to retrieve flat coats such as thin macs, kagouls, and capes. The lesser appreciated fat coat retriever is trained to retrieve puffa jackets, parkas and the like.
#dogfacts
#crufts2022
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So I just gave mum the fright of her life. I had sausage for tea (chopped up) but she could suddenly hear me retching. She went through and found me choking! My tongue was blue but she stayed calm and managed to get the sausage out what I had gulped down too quick.
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Here it is pals!! Mum would like to make it clear Ellie very specifically requested this!!
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Mum gave me a tiny bit of Brie at lunch and I now have the stinkiest bottom ever. Mum regrets her actions. Especially as I am sitting on her lap.
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Mum made a sign to put near the random stuff she leaves out the front for people to take. I is not amused.....
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Mum feels she should issue an official apology for the weather. It feels appropriate at this time to admit she knowingly bought a new BBQ & outdoor glasses, plates etc this weekend. At the time she was not aware of the knock on effects of her actions. She is deeply sorry.
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Anyway, we been waiting for eleventy billion years (sez mum) but the vet just phoned and there no sign of malignancy so vetty lady finks it a cyst what mum is to keep an eye on! I am 14 sometime roughly this month & everyone was very worried. 2/2
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Mum is at that stage where she’s partly ready to take the tree down, stop day drinking and eating snacks but partly wanting to lock herself in with the tree, day drinks and snacks for a few more months!!
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I got a fur cut. I mean it make sense, it’s getting colder by the day so obviously you’d steal all my warm fur….🙄
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Send help. Mum is wearing clogs and DELIBERATELY pretending to be a pony by clip clopping around on the floorboards. She is almost 46 years old.....
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Totally snored and did a little fart during mum’s video call wiv someone she not know this afternoon.
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I been to Rushden Lakes and there were so many shops I was allowed in AND I found this just for furs!
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I bin for my jabs and yearly MOT today. Mum was all nervous coz she claims I am old boy!! Pfft!! The vet said I was in excellent nick and me teefs are really good for my age!
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This hotel is appalling! The quality of food has plummeted with dog food rather than butternut squash being offered this morning. My bedding was washed without my permission AND I have been bathed!! I DEMAND to speak to the manager. ⭐️ One star, would not recommend.
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Just having my nappetiser (nap before my main bedtime)…..
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Today it is mum and dad’s 19th Wedding Anniversary. They have had Prosecco and now they on the negronis. Can someone come and walk me in the morning?
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Mum is proudly showing Dad her new Christmas washing up sponge. That’s what Friday nights are like now at Patamia Heights. Wild man….Just wild…….
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Now then, it’s almost time for Best in Show. I want to Fank you for tuning into my
#crufts2022
commentary and just remind you of something I said 2 years ago but it still be true…..
Everyone thinks they have the best dog and they are all right.
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Mum has bought me a basket for my living room toys (as opposed to my main toy box in the hall) as she is sick of the toys being all over the floor. Current situation pictured.
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Mum made this for Dad’s birthday. It’s a massive scone filled with double and clotted cream, strawberry compote and French strawberries. Dad ate 2 slices.
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What an exciting day! I’ve been to John Lewis!!
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Mum so sad about our pal Hamish. They had similar dress sense as illustrated by this text she sent to her friend once.
@lynniehamish
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Well that’s a wrap! A real worthy winner and a fantastic reserve. As Frank said a few years ago, everyone thinks they have the best dog and none of them are wrong. Thanks for listening to my ramblings again! Same time next year?
#crufts
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Mum has decided she cannot be arsed with the mess or leftover food so she’s going to run away and live in the woods.
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Mum just blew up the sandwich maker / panini thingy / waffle iron! She was making waffles to go wiv some fried chicken and the whole thing went BANG and blew the ‘lectrics!! Turns out she’d caught the flex in the plate! Melted through to the wires and BANG!!
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I been to the vet for me jabs and I bin described as ‘slightly chunky’ on the chonkometer! How very dare she!!
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Yes, quite comfy and I’m trying something new out with my ear. Why do you ask?
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It was very traumatic for everyone & I evidently had barely chewed the saus! She hit my back, picked me up and shook me & used her finger carefully to get the sausage (which is not always wise coz it can make the thing go down not up). She got it all out though & now I ok.
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What’s wiv all the cleaning before Santa Paws comes pals? Duz he only leave pressies for people what pulled the sofa out to hoover behind it??
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I’m at a Performance Management webinar. *HR ears*
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I did agility once. I say ‘did’. I was let off the lead, peed against the poles then ran circles around the perimeter of the field ignoring all attempts to call me back. I think that counts as ‘did’ agility. *nods*
#crufts
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Morning all. Fanks for all your well wishes. I feeling much better this am. I have had rice and a little white Turkey and goat yoghurt for brekkie and woofed at the postie.
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It came!! I am following mum around trying to persuade her to let me have them now. She says I got to wait!
#btpsanta
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Mum tried to print a small picture of me to make a label for the chocs we got Ellie’s chum what walks me sometimes. She got the settings wrong though and it came out basically life size! She went wiv it though! 🤣
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For those that asked, here are mum’s sandals and sock choice for the night…..
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Mum is very unhappy. Not a single shop has had any of the things she wanted to buy and now her Stella McCartney glasses have fallen off her face and broken in two. She thrown a tantrum and is now sat in the car.
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It was my Barniversary this week and I got dis cool new toy and some salmon and sweet potato chewy sticks today! I lived at Patamia Heights for 9 years now!!
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This afternoon mum was telling some people how much she would like to do the polar night marathon in Norway. Everyone was really impressed until her friend pointed out mum had’t gone to Parkrun this am due to it being ‘a bit nippy’…
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Mum made her dress! She made 1 mistake which you cannot see when it’s on and she finks the facing is a bit stiff but she hoping that will improve when washed. Overall she is dead pleased!
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Mum couldn’t find the sort of bouquet she had in her head for her friend’s baby shower so she made her own. She is pretty chuffed with it!
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Got me cooling bandana on and positioned in front of a magic machine what makes it windy indoors. Nice.
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I is very sad about the loss of our dear pal
@harrison_bt
today. I fink he knew he was loved by all and I want to say how much I love everyone of you. We may just be little brown dogs but each of us all touch each other’s lives so much. Fank you for being my friends.
#btposse
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Ahem! On Sunday 10th March it will be our official
#dayofdisobedience
in memory of
@stockton_rolo
and
@TedTerrier
. We want to hear all your tales of mischief & see pics of the havoc you have wrought &
@stockton_teddy
will unveil the boss’s memorial plaque. Please RT & join in!
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Mum has had quite the week so tonight is having her favourite thing to drink. It’s called ‘a lot’…..
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I was lying on my front, leaning up against Ellie but she moved and I rolled into the divot she left....
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So last night I was having a nice snuggle on mum’s lap. She decided to give me a nice ear skritch but misjudged it and stuck her pointy finger DIRECTLY INTO MY EARHOLE!! She finks she touched brain but Ellie said that was doubtful -
#rude
. Lucky she not trying to pat my tail! 😳
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Fings have been getting a bit congested at the top of our stairs so I’ve done some rearranging and installed the ‘Barney Roundabout’. Give way to the left please!!
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‘Ah, I see you are wearing a black jumper and black jeans - you know what THAT outfit needs!!’….
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I had steak and now I allowed to sit at the table. I’m so excited!!
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We bin to se Bampa for Easter. Here I be snoozing on the way home using the Mapominoes as a pillow.
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I did agility at my dog club a couple of times. It’s really easy. Especially if you ignore ALL the equipment and just run round in mad circles around the outside of the field while your owner shouts at you while everyone else laughs.
#Crufts
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Now don’t forget - yesterday’s lovely furs at
#crufts2022
had jobs and was in charge of sheeps and stuff. That may SEEM impressive but is little brown terriers have more important fings on our mind….
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My lot bin to the pub where Ellie bought them a drink coz she be EIGHTEEN!!! The barman did buy Ellie her drink which was just lovely. Mum feels old…..
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I bin to the Vetty Lady for me jabs and MOT. She very rude. Apparently the chonkometer sez I put on weight since my last visit AND I got grubby teefs so need them cleaning. I also got slightly enlarged lymph nodes but she fink that coz of me teefs.
#rude
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Just a reminder as Valentines Day is coming up.
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Having a sleep under the tree wiv my bear.
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Mother has gone out. She is wearing the leopard print tutu AND glittery boots….
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OMG Pals! My Ellie has just done her driving test and she PASSED!! First time!!
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