nicole froio
@NicoleFroio
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Doctor in Women's Studies | Writer, researcher, reporter | Latina Columnist @Refinery29 | she/her | hire me: [email protected] | anarcho-feminist
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Joined February 2009
🚨LOOKING FOR NEW ANCHOR CLIENTS🚨. Who are you? An editor who needs a sharp writer, or someone who works in a multi-lingual context and needs translations (English/Portuguese/Spanish, or a manager looking for an excellent researcher. #opentowork #journorequest #freelancers
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idk who needs to hear this but if you're reading an academic text and the language is too hard, you're not stupid, the text is just pretentious and inaccessible.
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bell hooks' body of work taught me that i can just write if I want to. she didn't care about pleasing academia, she cared about her work being accessible and about thinking through all sides of an issue. she taught me that thinking is never in vain, and that writing is an action.
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I think it's deeply fucked up that #metoo has created a culture where survivors feel like they have to reveal who their abuser is publicly to millions of people. She has revealed as much as she's comfortable with and that's the end of it.
“I will NOT say his name. I understand this #MeToo movement, I understand that some people feel really comfortable with this, and I do not. I do not ever want to face that person ever again.“ —Lady Gaga
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brb writing about the queer-ification of men who are being accused of abuse publicly.
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I've been observing how leftist people fall for fake news on this website and I have to say that J*hnny D*pp propaganda is the most successful campaign I've seen in a while. Here's a short thread of what I've observed.
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i haven't read the NYmag piece, but boys leaking their girlfriend's nudes isn't a "mistake", but a common feature of gendered hierarchy in educational settings. I know multiple women (who were girls at the time) who this happened to in school.
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Lemme make this clear. Sapiosexual is not part of the LGBTQ community. Sapiosexual is an ableist faux sexuality that only douchebags think is real.
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im literally shaking about this verdict. shaking, because a man can kick a woman to the ground in front of his friends and staff, he can rape her and text his friends he wants to fuck her burned body, and a jury still finds the instances she fought back "mutual abuse".
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The "men are lonely" thing is interesting because I do think that society has a loneliness problem, but it's just so blatant how loneliness here is a) only taken seriously when men experience it b) is conflated with the ability to have sex.
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capitalism be like. worker: hi, i think im having a heartattack so im going to the hospital.boss: ok let me know when you will be back at work :) :) :).
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the way white american people cannot handle conflict really explains why they outsource their anxiety & anger to cops, courts and prisong.
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The thing about #FreeKesha is that she isn't even asking that her attacker goes to jail. She is asking not to work with him.
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So much discourse on this app is just "I'm angry that you're not as miserable as I am".
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seriously. I'm PhD level, opened an article today, the language was so academic that it obscured their points. I closed the tab bc im not here to decode arrogance and ableism. i promise you, you can find easier articles that can be read.
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I've been working on this investigative piece for seven months, please read. When we talk about police in schools, we should be considering the power police officers have over children, particularly children of color.
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this is bullshit. on the left is Carolina de Jesus, a working class black woman who was the first person who lived in a favela to publish a book. on the right is the actress playing her in a play about black consciousness in Rio. UGH.
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Just thinking about how drunk everyone got at Mamma Mia after-party lmao
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seeing people saying Britney Spears is acting crazy and maybe should have stayed in the conservatorship is so sad. i challenge you to rethink what "crazy" means and how it was constructed. even if Britney /is/ crazy (whatever that means) she has the right to autonomy.
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The idea this kind of trauma would be accurately addressed with one month of online therapy is exactly the fucking problem with how tech is taking over the mental health field.
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However, many of these discourses miss out on important intersections: working class, racialized and queer men are the most likely to suffer violence because of their oppression / vulnerability fostered by their positionality.
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Hi everyone, I've decided to come out as a non-binary woman today. My pronouns are still she/her but I've felt like I don't fit into binary definitions of womanhood for years now. I feel comfortable not being cis, but I'm also not trans. Update ur mind accordingly lol.
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Left/liberal people are obsessed with virtue signaling their "goodness" and "considering all sides" and "speaking out on the right side of history", performing nuance so they are perceived as "good" and intelligent.
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it's like 30 years into postfeminism and men still don't understand that gender itself defines our class relations, it's truly mind-boggling that y'all don't get this.
argument raging in my mentions about me saying much of the power abuse in the gaiman case is “maybe more about class than gender”. idk how you can’t see that when a wealthy woman finds very precarious young women to work for free knowing her wealthy husband will likely abuse them.
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what's getting me about this Mayim Bialik op-ed is that she thinks the Big Bang Theory is feminist somehow?.
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I'm making this thread&immediately silencing it. I am tired of getting J*hnny D*pp bots in my mentions or seeing people I actually respect(ed) saying it's a mutual abuse situation. It is not. What we are seeing is a victim who reacted to abuse & an abuser using that against her.
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people are likely to believe the narrative of male domestic abuse victim, despite a wealth of proof to the contrary. because liberals and leftist often operate on the level of "there's always more to a story and I am the one who is smart enough to see it", it's easy+.
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btw i recently found out that google has a free journalist studio that does transcriptions in several languages. it's called Pinpoint!!.
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to characterize the tactics of young girls to keep themselves safe as "cancel culture" is grotesque, not to mention completely devoid of the realities of actually being a girl.
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So what happens when a man claims to be the abused party? Well, the discourses around domestic abuse and #MeToo are weaponized to construct a narrative of victimhood that many liberals and leftist people are unable to see past--bc of virtue-signaling and "nuance" +.
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In the last few years, there's been a LOT of talk about how men can be abused too and how men can also be sexually assaulted, all true statements.
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A reboot of Indiana Jones but it's Oscar Isaac returning all the relics and treasures to colonized countries.
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the "mutual abuse" thing in particular seems to be very persuasive to left/liberal people because it emulates "nuance" and a not-so-clear picture of what happened that seems intelligent and beyond normative abuse discourses.
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Leftist men on the timeline: we must listen to women and end misogyny. Leftist men in women's dm:.[unsolicited dick pick].[unsolicited dick pick] .[unsolicited dick pick] . If you don't reply I'm going to kill myself.
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yeah, fuck it. I was almost hired as an editor at Bitch. I was always honest about my lack of greencard. It was the leadership who decided there was absolutely no way I could legally work remotely for the magazine. It was one of the most demoralizing things i've ever experienced.
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What annoys me about pieces like this, that place too much emphasis on economic anxiety to explain violent men, is that the impact of class for women is hardly examined. It's not that poverty makes men violent, but rather that poverty makes women vulnerable to violence.
Even a glance at the "incel" subculture reveals misogyny, reactionary politics, and violence. The documentary "TFW No GF" also emphasizes that in part, it's a product of a lack of decent economic opportunities and a broader loss of meaning in the US.
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leftism has always thrived on the culture of alternative discourses--looking into alternative possibilities or ideas has always been a big part of the left. However, misinformation campaigns are fully able to weaponize this into right-wing talking points.
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reminder that I am left-wing myself and I'm not doing this to shit on people lol. I'm just saying we have weaknesses on this website and other social media platforms that are exploitable.
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Y'all. Call yourself whatever you want but my point is that sapiosexual is not a part of lgbtq community. If Ronson likes all genders, he is pan or bi. People aren't oppressed bc they prefer intelligent people. That's my point.
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people have responded to this saying "leftist people aren't falling for this" but I'd argue that I've seen a lot of left-wing people at least repeat the talking points of "I dont even like amber heard but" or "it was mutual abuse", we do ourselves a disservice in ignoring it.
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(cn holocaust) reading about gay men who were in the nazi party & how they helped destroy the growing gay community in Berlin (they have 40+ gay clubs and meeting places in the 1920s) and how when Hitler was done with that, he just murdered them all.
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responding to cruelty with cruelty is not abuse, it's a defense mechanism. no, I will not debate this, get out of my face.
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shaking because if things had gotten worse for me in previous relationships, and I had fought back, I would be called abusive despite victim violence being essentially reactive. this is horrible for victims everywhere, there will be a boom of smaller, similar cases.
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anyway, i know that if NYMag actually wanted their reporting to be aligned with gender studies specialists, they could have sought them out. so they don't give a shit beyond the narrative they want to popularize.
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Some academics really misunderstanding my point. Overly complicated language and intellectual posturing keeps important information from people who need it most. If you think you always need technical language to understand social sciences, you're wrong.
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we should be paid MORE for working from home because that means we are also furnishing, cleaning, organizing, maintaining and managing the workplace. don't let employers think working from home is an inconvenience: it's an added burden for which we should be paid for.
61% of Americans would be willing to take a pay cut to maintain remote working status. Some workers even suggested they would take a 50% pay cut to avoid returning to the office.
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abuse victims just can't win. if they/we respond to meanness with meanness, then we are abusive too. if we just accept the meanness, the abuse, with submission, then we weren't hurting enough to fight back. disgusting.
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I've been seeing people posting on Twitter about how it's her duty to reveal who he is so he can be stopped. I really need you to understand this isn't about one person but about a whole industry!! And when has a man been stopped by one allegation? This is absolutely ridiculous.
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for this narrative to coincide with previous discourses around male victimhood.
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Bolsonaro getting coronavirus days after calling the crisis "a fantasy" is literally the result of these fascist neonazis believing they're superior to LITERAL SCIENCE when they're actually the most incompetent mfs in the room, but everyone has told them otherwise.
URGENTE.O semblante pálido e abatido, com olhos um pouco marejados em sua live na última quinta-feira. O Presidente foi testado como positivo para o coronavírus. #ODia .
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Liking tall people is a preference, not a sexuality. Why is sapiosexual being treated as if its some kind of orientation?? Its not, its a preference. Why don't we have words for every single kind of preference then? Bc that would be exhausting and silly.
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banning skirts as a "gender neutral" policy only reinforces that male standards are the default and further marginalizes women and non-binary people. banning skirts as a "gender neutral" policy only reinforces that male standards are the default and further marginalizes women.
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I'm SCREAMING at these white British people saying they're going to complain to OFCOM about an Argos advert with Black people. what are you gonna say, Doug? "I'm racist and this upsets me"? That's not a valid complaint, love.
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how much does a woman need to suffer for reactive violence not to be branded as "mutual abuse"? how much does a victim need to take to be believed? how much verbal abuse does a victim have to hear before her response is understood as valid?.
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Lin-manuel Miranda is proof that someone can be cringe and also a genius.
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I'm very bitter about the UK getting together to protest trumps visit and policies and not doing the same for ACTUAL RACIST IMMIGRATION POLICIES IN THE UK.
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To push a survivor's boundaries like this can be retraumatizing. She has had this boundary there for years, and doesn't want to face her abuser. It's not up to you or anybody else to decide what a survivor "should" do!!!.
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she taught me that there is a way to look at this world and say "there it is, that's what we have to destroy and build from there" when many people were telling me "that's just the way it is." Rest in Power, you gave so much to us, we will follow in your footsteps.
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The Big Bang Theory is one of the most misogynistic things on television. Just bc the predators are nerd men, doesn't make it less egregious.
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Ironically, these are two things that contribute to the very experience of loneliness, right? First, thinking that loneliness is about not having sex and simply dismissing other kinds of intimacy as not as good, or simply not engaging with it.
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we talk about instagram being fake and for the aesthetics but Linkedin is a uniquely fake social media environment. you mean to tell me people truly write long posts about their workplace willingly? That they LIKE doing that shit? That their posts are genuine? no, i rebuke it.
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reducing the modern problem of loneliness to "men aren't having sex" is insulting to the range of affections that have been stamped out by capitalism.
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and then, of course, we are ignoring all other intersections that might contribute to loneliness itself. Like, maybe the fact we work at least 40 hours a week might have something to do with it.
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Bolsonaro has just killed people on national TV. He went on to say coronavirus is a lie of the media, that people should return to normal and that schools should be re-opened. As far as I'm concerned this is a genocide of the most vulnerable in Brazil's society.
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You've never had a confrontation that resulted in violence and then resolved it? You've never had conflict and them talked it out? Wtf?.
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it's just interesting that loneliness is framed as a failure of society to give men sex -- and of course, we know this means people are saying women aren't doing their job -- when the problem is much more serious.
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also. im sorry to the men experiencing loneliness but they're not, demographically, the populations that experience the most loneliness! so many things might go into this like, being queer, being disabled, not having access to community.
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"An anonymous source reached out to DAME with data collected from local news reports. Within that data alone, which DAME fact-checked, at least 440 school children have been sexually abused by school police at their school in the last 20 years.".
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Moral of the story: working with nazis when you're a minority will never work, you will eventually become disposable to them, no matter how respectable you try to be (apparently gay Nazi Röhm was very masc and hated feminine gay men so it's obvious what ideology he was following).
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Being attracted to intelligence is neither unique or inherent to anyone's sexuality. If you want to use it to express a preference go ahead. But yeah keep in mind critiques of neurodivergent folks who find the term exclusionary and ableist.
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megan thee stallion said "ladies love yourself / because shit could get ugly" and that's just so wise.
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#yesallwomen because men who don't hit or rape women are glorified when that's the LEAST they should be able to do as decent humans.
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Hi folks. Just learned this is fake news, the woman shoved the priest bc she's not mentally well. This narrative is being used to prove that queer people in Brazil are violent. Please please I beg of journalists abroad not to be complicit in these narratives.
Woman shoves anti-gay priest off stage mid-service
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I'm so pissed a billionaire is ruining my writing career. I'm serious, idk how to stay connected with my readers outside of this hellsite. I just hit 10k this year and finally have some pull to write the anarchist memoir of my dreams but NOOO capitalism has to ruin my life again.
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Also keep in mind society's definition of intelligence is so narrow that it becomes meaningless and is incredibly ableist! Neurodivergent folks are excluded just by virtue of not fitting into this narrow definition.
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she's posting nonsensical instagram posts and your immediate reaction is to be like, maybe we should strip her of any autonomy?? wtf is wrong with you!!.
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bisexual people's refusal of binary self-determination is precisely what pisses people off abt the bisexuality. our society is completely intolerant to ambiguity, we tend to operate in binaries because those are simply more marketable and easily commodified.
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I'm sorry but the idea that nobody has protested the world cup ever is so insulting to activist in past host countries!! We've BEEN talking about the impact of mega-events, I covered movements on the ground in Brazil, so no its not anti-islamic sentiment.
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If Britney isn't harming anyone with her "craziness", why TF should anybody else be in charge of her finances? "crazy" is just another name for someone who doesn't act in ways that are socially acceptable. I hope you never get pathologized for doing something weird.
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almost like running on your true values actually works.
Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar won re-election by comfortable margins and the rest of the party are fighting for their lives in these states. Let’s not pretend we don’t know how that happened.🤷🏻
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Yes, men can be abused but male abusers have also HISTORICALLY AND CONSISTENTLY claimed they are the abused party in court as a defense for their actions. In fact, most abusers are able to say they were the victims because many survivors REACT TO THE ABUSE.
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@afrozefz @HorzaEdeo I don't even get how people feel comfortable being in a crowd like this, it literally is giving me anxiety just looking at it. .
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I also want to challenge the "feminist" liberal notion that speaking out in a very specific way ("HE did it!") equals liberation or is the "right" way to act as a survivor. It hasn't been for me. This is coercive discourse.
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I really think we have to stop using "privilege" as a marker of. anything. Like y'all say anything is a privilege. I just saw someone say having 100 dollars to spare every month is privilege. That's literally just above the poverty line.
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I will never stop talking about how police violence and violence against women are not opposing issues. They are related to each other, violent masculinities are institutionalised, instrumentalized and protected.
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Hot take: Parasite is incredible as it is and doesn't need an HBO series with mark ruffalo 🙄.
Mark Ruffalo confirms he's in talks to play the father in Bong Joon-ho's 'Parasite' HBO series — 'We're waiting for the scripts . But that's true and in the works'. (via @Iron_Lr)
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The president has his kids sit in on meetings with world leaders and Greenwald is worried about Chelsea Clinton getting a corporate job lol.
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The moment people realise that being cruel isn't a part of critical thinking, the quicker we can actually build solidarity between us all.
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I passed my PhD with some revisions and I can't stop crying lmao. Like it's a weird system and it'll be official once I submit my corrections but I'm gonna be a doctor 🥺.
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If you can't figure out how to explain a complicated term in simple ways, you're gatekeeping research. It's a shame y'all want to do this bc I genuinely feel things would be different if we All understood our positions sociologically.
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It really does make a mockery of those of us who have come out as queer and almost lost family and friends and financial stability.
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also, I'd love @missmayim to do some feminist reading because sexual assault is not about desirability. it's about power.
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I wrote about class, race and washing your legs.
In May, a tweet started a debate about washing your legs in the shower. This topic has revealed who is allowed to live comfortably unwashed, and whose survival depends on hygienic practices, writes @NicoleFroio.
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I really recommend that you read this piece before you spread misinformation across the internet about this situation.
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I keep going back to the fact that Louis CK, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Sheen--these men are all part of media production that shapes our culture around gender and sexuality.
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