Nicola.
@NicolaSillyBum
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537
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14,481
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#اليمن_تفضح_المستعربين
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#HungarianGP
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Piastri
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McLaren
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2NE1
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BLACKPINK
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Lewis
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Lando
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ブルアカ
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Verstappen
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Dangote
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#ike3velanD
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투애니원
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Miku
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Vitória
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Romney
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Ferrari
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シロコテラー
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ミクさん
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バックムーン
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Manchin
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Mikaela
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#乃木坂工事中
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TWO BUBBLY YEARS WITH NEWJEANS
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Red Bull
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ノアのASMR
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Aaron Sorkin
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If I were Adele I’d simply be happy with being a multi millionaire, and try to write less songs about being a miserable cunt
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If you had to have therapy for a single thing someone said to you, what would it be? Mine is this.
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Poor Jacob has a sarcoma in the jaw and only probably got another month with him. I’m getting him a hamburger from McDonald’s and he’s having fake birthdays 💓
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@LuLoopie
Because you are meant to inform the airline prior, so no nuts are on board whatsoever. Even then they may not be able to accommodate. Lots of people with serious allergies can be affected by the allergen being airborne, so once the airline knew they didn’t want to be at risk
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Do you ever watch Bullseye and wonder how many contestants and/or audience members have died?
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My poor boy has a biopsy tomorrow for a suspected mouth tumour. Not sure he’ll even be coming home 💔
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My mum said to me today “wow, look how muscly your legs are” and I was all “hell yea my friend”
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Look what I’ve just noticed, it must have fallen behind it and HE PUT IT THERE.
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Why does dating have to be so hard? I just want to be adored, shown a penis on the reg, and to be taken on National Trust house day trips.
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Thank you for all your kind Jake messages yesterday, I have an update! The vet said that when they went to take a biopsy of the lump, it collapsed in on itself and was an abscess. There’s no signs of cancer in his blood, or any signs of a cancer had spread.
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I’ve had a lot of wine so forgive this but I wanted to put this out there - I don’t think I’ve ever been this content and happy before in my whole adult life. And that’s without needing a husband or a relationship.
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Some boy just did this and then left and I’ve never been so disgusted.
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Does anyone else retain song lyrics? I can sing songs word for word, even if I’ve not heard them for 10+ years. What a waste of brain space
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I was going to go back on the dating apps, but I just swiped left because I really hated someone’s bread bin, and so maybe no.
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I was dating a man who said no one ever bought him an Easter egg, so I bought him an Easter egg. Then he told me he didn’t see a future with me, and that I clearly liked him more than he liked me, and now I have an additional Easter egg.
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I would let Cliff Richard’s penis lull against my lips for £5,000.00.
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I don’t really understand people that eat yoghurt. You never think “oh I’m really starving - I’ll have a yoghurt.” Nor do you think “I’ve earnt a treat let’s whack out the yoghurt.”
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People really fuck around on planes, don’t they? Just sit down.
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I know I wheel this out on occasion, but allow it
what’s the most PHYSICALLY painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
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An EDF man just came to read my electricity meter. I told him I didn’t want him coming in, is that alright to do?! Didn’t have a mask on, didn’t have any ID. Is that a thing?
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Fuck ever being in a committed and loving relationship again, I’ll take my 25% single person council tax discount tyvm.
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FINALLY GOT AN UNSOLICITED TWITTER DICK PIC. What a beautiful day.
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Sometimes I want to be fit and healthy, and sometimes I want someone to come pour custard down my throat
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I hate the majority of the general population equally btw. I don’t care what ethnicity/gender/religious belief etc. All a bunch of self absorbed bellends.
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I’m sorry but adults who are constantly bickering via Twitter - have you simply tried growing up?
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Imagine doing a job where you have absolutely no idea what the day will bring you, and yet you have to deal with it all, AND your decisions are likely life or death. That’s why all medical professionals should be paid through the nose
#surgeons
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Does this look like a normal dinner, or no? I can’t even tell anymore
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Trying to explain that if I could stop it raining I would, and he really doesn’t need to keep shouting at me about it
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I do understand why some single people feel miserable on Valentine’s Day, but only you can make yourself truly happy.
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As if any women shave their legs between January - May anyway.
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I’ve experienced modern day sexism today. Both times the pint I ordered got put in front of my step dad
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I’ve taken 96 year old Jean to her optician appointment. She’s asked that we pop into Tesco for a few essentials - milk and 40 Richmond Superkings.
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Am I getting any slimmer and/or fitter for visiting the gym? No.
But am I reaping the mental health benefits, and the achievement of doing it? Also no.
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Darts is the perfect sport - there’s no injuries, there’s no poor decisions, the crowds are the best people on the planet, there’s no cheating, there’s no corruption. It’s perfection.
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Please allow me the pleasure of being an absolute wanker:-
Happy Monday morning everyone!
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I wish I was alive when it was all wine, orgies, cheese fondue and no shame.
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For every like that this tweet receives, I will post a picture of a bauble on my tree.
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Does everyone’s mum spend a whole holiday saying “let me take a nice picture of you by..”
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I know sometimes I am frivolous with money, but I refuse to pay £7.95 for a jacket potato in a garden centre.
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Hi lads, please accept this tweet as my solemn promise that I will stop letting men mug me off and then having breakdowns about it. I have a very nice and very privileged life and have also scraped through a lot of brain danger issues.
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Hate how everyone keeps referring to Tasha as ‘fiery’ when she’s actually just an aggressive little fuck
#MAFSUK
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I’ll not be satisfied until I can read one billion tweets a day
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Just want to have to go to a small town for work, end up revitalising a small business, and fall in love over Christmas.
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