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Nicola. Profile
Nicola.

@NicolaSillyBum

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2,318
Following
537
Media
14,481
Statuses
93,760
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
8 years
Just woke up on the sofa, why did I do this? #drunknicola
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
7 months
When you ask a non drinker to get you a Baileys
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
The most disturbing element of this whole sordid affair #nakedattraction
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
If I were Adele I’d simply be happy with being a multi millionaire, and try to write less songs about being a miserable cunt
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
If you had to have therapy for a single thing someone said to you, what would it be? Mine is this.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Poor Jacob has a sarcoma in the jaw and only probably got another month with him. I’m getting him a hamburger from McDonald’s and he’s having fake birthdays 💓
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
I fixed it #TheApprentice
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
7 months
@TomDavenport I’m too drunk to reply properly tbqhwy
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
I made a dinner, didn’t I?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 months
@LuLoopie Because you are meant to inform the airline prior, so no nuts are on board whatsoever. Even then they may not be able to accommodate. Lots of people with serious allergies can be affected by the allergen being airborne, so once the airline knew they didn’t want to be at risk
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Do you ever watch Bullseye and wonder how many contestants and/or audience members have died?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
8 months
My boots are ridiculous.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
My poor boy has a biopsy tomorrow for a suspected mouth tumour. Not sure he’ll even be coming home 💔
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 month
My mum said to me today “wow, look how muscly your legs are” and I was all “hell yea my friend”
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Look at my tree, lads
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Look what I’ve just noticed, it must have fallen behind it and HE PUT IT THERE.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Why does dating have to be so hard? I just want to be adored, shown a penis on the reg, and to be taken on National Trust house day trips.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
8 months
All the horny mums keeping Nigel in though #Strictly
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Thank you for all your kind Jake messages yesterday, I have an update! The vet said that when they went to take a biopsy of the lump, it collapsed in on itself and was an abscess. There’s no signs of cancer in his blood, or any signs of a cancer had spread.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
6 years
I’ve had a lot of wine so forgive this but I wanted to put this out there - I don’t think I’ve ever been this content and happy before in my whole adult life. And that’s without needing a husband or a relationship.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Some boy just did this and then left and I’ve never been so disgusted.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I’ve found my soul mate 👀👀👀
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Does anyone else retain song lyrics? I can sing songs word for word, even if I’ve not heard them for 10+ years. What a waste of brain space
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 months
Will they have to design a logo? #TheApprentice
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
6 months
I was going to go back on the dating apps, but I just swiped left because I really hated someone’s bread bin, and so maybe no.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Could I be any more divorced rn?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
@simonr555 No! They were lovely
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I’m 36
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I was dating a man who said no one ever bought him an Easter egg, so I bought him an Easter egg. Then he told me he didn’t see a future with me, and that I clearly liked him more than he liked me, and now I have an additional Easter egg.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Do you want to see the best present I have purchased?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
I would let Cliff Richard’s penis lull against my lips for £5,000.00.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I don’t really understand people that eat yoghurt. You never think “oh I’m really starving - I’ll have a yoghurt.” Nor do you think “I’ve earnt a treat let’s whack out the yoghurt.”
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Don’t tell me you’re not aroused
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
People really fuck around on planes, don’t they? Just sit down.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
11 months
Two years of being brain cured, lads 🥳
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Look who’s feeling much better!
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
Ride dirty. Drive clean. #theapprentice
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 months
Flo carries this whole series #TheApprentice
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I’m bored and might agree
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I know I wheel this out on occasion, but allow it
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@beejacks_back
Bee L. Jack
2 years
what’s the most PHYSICALLY painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Thrilling chase underway 🤣🤣🤣
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
An EDF man just came to read my electricity meter. I told him I didn’t want him coming in, is that alright to do?! Didn’t have a mask on, didn’t have any ID. Is that a thing?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I saw some lions shagging
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
7 months
@philp83 I’m going to diiiiiiiieee
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Merry fucking birthday/Christmas
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
No social distancing with this lad.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Fuck ever being in a committed and loving relationship again, I’ll take my 25% single person council tax discount tyvm.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
All I do in lockdown is roast stuff
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
FINALLY GOT AN UNSOLICITED TWITTER DICK PIC. What a beautiful day.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Sometimes I want to be fit and healthy, and sometimes I want someone to come pour custard down my throat
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
I hate the majority of the general population equally btw. I don’t care what ethnicity/gender/religious belief etc. All a bunch of self absorbed bellends.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I’m sorry but adults who are constantly bickering via Twitter - have you simply tried growing up?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Imagine doing a job where you have absolutely no idea what the day will bring you, and yet you have to deal with it all, AND your decisions are likely life or death. That’s why all medical professionals should be paid through the nose #surgeons
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Does this look like a normal dinner, or no? I can’t even tell anymore
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 months
Trying to explain that if I could stop it raining I would, and he really doesn’t need to keep shouting at me about it
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
I do understand why some single people feel miserable on Valentine’s Day, but only you can make yourself truly happy.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
9 months
Sure sex is great but..
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
6 years
As if any women shave their legs between January - May anyway.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
I’ve never achieved this in my whole life
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
I’ve experienced modern day sexism today. Both times the pint I ordered got put in front of my step dad
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
Omg look at my boiiiii
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
I didn’t murder my cat, he just really hates me ✌🏻
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
6 years
I’ve taken 96 year old Jean to her optician appointment. She’s asked that we pop into Tesco for a few essentials - milk and 40 Richmond Superkings.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Gourmet
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
7 months
The best bit about the darts is those beautiful jugs
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I’ve gone for the ‘just get alllllll your leg out’ vibe
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Am I getting any slimmer and/or fitter for visiting the gym? No. But am I reaping the mental health benefits, and the achievement of doing it? Also no.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
The blanket hoodie is my new favourite thing
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
All my followers after I tweet:
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
9 months
Darts is the perfect sport - there’s no injuries, there’s no poor decisions, the crowds are the best people on the planet, there’s no cheating, there’s no corruption. It’s perfection.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I bought a handheld vacuum so that dads would fancy me.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 months
I just like to entertain myself on dating apps
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Talented but flawed.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Anyone else put gym clothes in and then just lounge around?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
Please allow me the pleasure of being an absolute wanker:- Happy Monday morning everyone!
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
The saddest hotel breakfast of all time.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
So extra 💕💕
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 months
On holiday, aren’t I?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 months
When you make pals with the cabin crew
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I wish I was alive when it was all wine, orgies, cheese fondue and no shame.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
For every like that this tweet receives, I will post a picture of a bauble on my tree.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Does everyone’s mum spend a whole holiday saying “let me take a nice picture of you by..”
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 years
I know sometimes I am frivolous with money, but I refuse to pay £7.95 for a jacket potato in a garden centre.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
5 months
Why is it always World Book Day?
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
4 years
Hi lads, please accept this tweet as my solemn promise that I will stop letting men mug me off and then having breakdowns about it. I have a very nice and very privileged life and have also scraped through a lot of brain danger issues.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Me and bae
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
8 months
Lads!
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
8 months
Hate how everyone keeps referring to Tasha as ‘fiery’ when she’s actually just an aggressive little fuck #MAFSUK
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
I’ll not be satisfied until I can read one billion tweets a day
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
Catching the last of the garden sun
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
Just checked ahead for next week and thank fuck #totp
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
1 year
Given the garden a spruce
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
2 years
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
9 months
Just want to have to go to a small town for work, end up revitalising a small business, and fall in love over Christmas.
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@NicolaSillyBum
Nicola.
3 years
Gourmet dinner
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