I used to be on TV, now I’m in marketing. people often tell me that they thought I would be taller. I used to be funny. I might own a bar. TB12. Rah. Skol.
🧵This has been my view for the last two months. For hours, baby in arms, sound machine, and piano lullabies compete for air space. The bulk of my previous eight weeks have been spent in the dark.
And what I’ve gained is far more illuminating than the mental toll it took.
With the Vikings finding themselves in need of a QB, they should reach out to Atlanta. Michael Penix Jr. has looked great, making their aging QB, Kirk Cousins, redundant.
Cousins could fit well in the Vikings system. I’ve photoshopped how he would look on the team.
2024 MINNESOTA STATE FAIR FOOD/DRINK THREAD! This will not be a short thread, but I’ll be sharing everything I ate and drank at the
@mnstatefair
. Ready? Okay, let’s get this thing going.
Starting off with the Holy Hamloaf from the Hamlin Diner and Al’s Breakfast. 9/10
🧵 ⬇️⬇️
Mankato just got more rain than I’ve ever seen in my life. Our entire back yard was under water—had a full on river running though it. Here’s one of the parking ramps downtown.
#mnwx
This video was just sent to me. The Rapidan dam is in bad shape. This thing was built in 1908 and there are concerns it will be completely lost. The Dam store is also in serious danger.
It’s crazy to think the Timberwolves inaugural season was at the Metrodome. Could you imagine watching a Wolves playoff game while crushing a dome dog?!
#WolvesBack
Story time.
I took these photos just a few weeks ago at the Rapidan Dam Store unaware it would be my last trip. This place was like a step back in time. It was affordable, everything was home cooked, and there was no rush to be anywhere but in the moment.
// 🧵
Only in Minnesota can a team be in first place and tied for the best record in the league and yet the fan base is still so insecure that one loss has us in a FRENZY 😂
#Skol
Time to get controversial - I love the Vikings but a large chunk of this fan base deserves Kirk Cousins to get traded and immediately win a Super Bowl 😂😂😂
Story time.
So yesterday was supposed to be the first night my wife and I got a babysitter & had a proper date. We’ve been looking forward to this for a while.
But at 11am, she called me to hurry home because the basement was flooding and she was alone with the baby
// 🧵
It was not the day we planned, it was not the date we planned, and our house is an absolute disaster right now. We might have to replace some stuff, I’m not sure. But a day that could have been so, so bad left me feeling overwhelmed with gratitude.
Twitter: KIRK COUSINS IS THE BEST QUARTERBACK AVAILABLE! WOW!
Also Twitter: KIRK COUSINS SUCKS SO MUCH PLEASE TRADE HIM FOR A BAG OF TORTILLA CHIPS
#Skol
2024 MINNESOTA STATE FAIR ALCOHOL THREAD! I love the food but let’s be honest, the
@mnstatefair
is one of the best drinking events… ever? It’s filled with so many fun drinks.
Here’s everything I drank at the 2024 Minnesota State Fair. Buckle up, it’s a long ride.
🧵⬇️⬇️
Also at the Hamlin Dining Hall is the new Honey ‘n’ spice espresso shake up. This is a strong contender for best iced coffee at the fair. Sensational.
9.5/10
*country
Tbh, I shouldn’t even make fun of all the people who said they would never go to Minneapolis again, and then go anyway. Minneapolis is fun, people should go. More exposure only makes people realize it’s not as scary as the internet tells them.
A stop for the wife to get her deep fried pickles. Pickles are awful, hot pickles at even worse.
But it’s a 10/10 from her and her favorite thing at the fair so ignore me.
And this went on all day. And suddenly, a night that was supposed to be kid-free was spent watching all the neighborhood kids of everyone who helped us—play in our yard, enjoying the water, jumping in puddles, while we all stood in our soaked boots and laughed over cooler beers
Growing up I watched The Tonight Show every single night. I had a goal to someday be on the show.
Last night
@jimmyfallon
made that happen for a reason I never expected. 😂
I guess I can technically now say I’ve been on
@FallonTonight
.
Twitter is the absolute best.
Finally got to try the Amish Donuts. I lucked on after a bit of rain, so the line was short. But my goodness are these things amazing. They remind of Krispy Kreme, but they’re larger and a bit more… eggy? Unsure.
But an easy 10/10. Easy.
The Danielson & Daughter onion rings are the best onion rings on this planet and I don’t have a lot of room for differing opinions on this subject. Absolute elite. A must have, every time.
10/10.