Just gonna take a second… I woke up ten years ago today early as hell, too. I mean, it was my wedding day and I wasn’t eloping off to some tropical island to get hitched…I was doing this in front of practically everyone that mattered to me on this Earth. Aunts & Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents & friends from across the decades piled out in the snow & ice to come see what we had in store for them at this little wedding we had thrown together. I remember all kinds of things that probably shouldn’t matter: Struggles with getting it to stream on the internet (it failed), the boy forgetting his shoes (we had to go buy some), and my poor panicked wife thinking I was going to get shitfaced the night before, the day of, and make her walk down the aisle to a bewildered lush, resigned to his fate. Of course none of that mattered. We all piled into the room, with my buddy Mike standing front & center as both our officiant and her personal guarantee that I wouldn’t fall down if I passed out. In all my years in front of crowds, I’ve never been that nervous. Ever. It wasn’t the crowd, though. I mean, hell…most of them have seen me naked in some form or another. (Emotionally, totally, or just getting mooned by me as I used to have quite the predilection for doing) There was just something about that moment…I knew what I was doing was going to change my life forever…and boy did it. We had already been together nine years. She KNOWS me. What the hell did I have to be nervous about? Well, let me clue you in on a little secret: I was *never* good enough for her. My wife is: Smart. I mean it, despite her taste in men. She’s quick, articulate, and organized. She’s a lightning fast learner, hilariously observant, and emotionally intelligent to go along with it. It’s a crazy attractive trait of hers that she can’t see in a mirror, but I see it every day. I see the guy she chose in the mirror every day and it just reminds me that she’s… Kind. I can be a bit of a bull in a china closet at times. Socially, emotionally, and even physically. (Force is always an option when the instructions fail) She’s tolerant, patient, and bewilderingly accepting of my constant display of my flaws. (MOST of the time) She treats everyone with respect, love, and acceptance…but… Strong. This is a big one. When we say strength we usually thing about force, musculature, endurance & fitness…and you’d be right. She’s a little badass who has found herself in the best shape of her life. (Seriously, she’s somehow in better shape today than 10 years ago when I married her…and then some) That’s not what I meant though. She chose to move 1000 miles from her family (The Care Bears, I called them…still do. It was a playful compliment then & it still is) to the whitest town in Virginia, to two kids she kinda knew and a circle of friends (of mine, at first) who were highly suspicious of her motives. I had an ex-wife (whom she befriended), a baby mama (whom she befriended), and innumerable previous dalliances sprinkled around (she didn’t befriend them) that she traveled all that way to live amongst…almost fearlessly. At the time I didn’t really absorb how utterly massive all that was. I mean, “Hey I have a house, wanna come live in it?” Seemed like a much cooler proposition in my head back then than it does today. I guess I never really thought about the level of responsibility she just accepted onto her shoulders, too. But the strength she showed through it all - and there was a LOT - still leaves me slack jawed today. No chance we should’ve made it…but she’s STRONG, and… Loving. I’ve only known one other woman in my life who’s shown me an overwhelming capacity for empathy, acceptance, and protection the way my wife does. My Grandmother set a lot of standards for women in my life, and to suggest that my wife understands the assignment would be a wild understatement. She always seems to know when to apply compassion, or when to pull the “ass” out of it and start kicking it. Either way, it’s always from a place of love. When we first moved in together, I made a misogynistic statement that I thought was empowering at the time, something like: “I’ll make the house, you make it a home.” I honestly thought I was telling her that she had domain, value, power, respect…of course I know now what I gave her was almost zero guidance, a mountain of responsibility, and what was probably a fear that I was telling her to stay in her lane. She was so damn loving (or naive) that she took it in stride and proceeded to show me, our kids, my friends, and the entire world how loving is done. I guess in the end it’s a really good thing she’s so good at… Forgiving. Your honor, please let the record show that I…in this moment and all that come before or after…am a shit show. I’ve reinvented myself so many times at this point she’s got to wake up wondering which version of me she’s married to vs which one she thought she was getting. I’ve been terrifyingly angry for no reason, belligerent for the right ones, and clung to mistakes I knew were mistakes out of pride (or testosterone) too many times to count. I’ve seen her face when my words cut to the bone, and regardless of what I say in those moments: I remember. Every. Single. Time. She always comes back to the table…no, to me. She forgives me for what I am, she loves me for who I wish I was, and she LETS me be her safe space…even if I’ve been anything but. I heard once that strong marriages are made of “two great forgivers,” and I’ve repeated it many, many times. Ours is strong because of one great forgiver. When I’m down or at my worst, she finds a way to see past it and remind me that life is… Beautiful. How in the world she’s actually gotten more beautiful than the day I first laid eyes on her, I can’t tell you - but she has. The story of my buffoonery upon meeting her has graduated to urban legend status, but let’s just say I didn’t make a great first impression. You know that feeling you get when you know you’re probably going to lose…but say “hell with it” and throw your last $5 in the slot machine anyway? Yeah…that was me. Somehow, some way…I hit the jackpot. She gets up every day and carefully chooses what to put in her body. She works out like a mad woman every day. She has eyes I still get lost in every time she looks at me…even when she’s mad. She turns damn near every head in the room…and somehow she’s still… Humble. No matter what I’ve seen her achieve, or how many people try to hold her back or down, she never brags when she succeeds. She never holds it over their head or shoves being right in your face. She takes the high road, every time…even when she has every right to say “I told you so.” It doesn’t matter how many people tell her how beautiful she is, you’d never know if you spoke to her, even less so if you knew her. Of course, if you know me you know that she’s… The BEST thing that’s ever happened to me. I honestly couldn’t believe it, TEN years ago…looking out the window and asking myself if I would ever be a good husband, if I’d ever be able to show her love the way she understands it, feels it…and deserves it? That’s still a question I ask myself all the time, because most of the time I don’t feel like the best husband in the world. I suppose that’s easy when I have her to compare myself to. She’s the calm to my storm, the structure to my chaos, and the answer I was looking for over 39 years. People talk about ��I wish I’d met you sooner so I could have more time,” but I know the version of me she met was the only version that could’ve worked. We grew up together…well, ok - she did. I’ll never grow up and she loves me anyway. She’s the reason I’m still here, and since I can’t go back and meet her sooner, I’ll just say I hope she and I live to be a million. I can’t WAIT to see what we do next. Today is our ten year anniversary, and I get to celebrate @more_mallory all day. As ironic as it is that there’s a massive, crazy wedding happening in the hotel we’re in tonight (complete with my bellyaching about weddings), I’d go back and do it again with you in a heartbeat. I'd just be a better husband, man, friend, partner, and love you better. You deserve it. Happy Anniversary, beautiful. - M