Last year, I was given an hour to write a standup set about St. Patrick's Day and then perform it, untested, on the Tonight Show:

I forgot the Super Bowl was in New Orleans and thought they were just getting whimsical with the colors this year

And he super endorsed Andrew Yang, so I guess all that subversiveness was just an aesthetic

RT @SaeedDiCaprio: oh they tackled him

@JakeJared179851 @Aliathewhite I once ordered a friend's poetry collection and the publisher sent me this instead. So you could try ordering my friend's poetry collection. It's called Disaster Insurance.

It's crazy how we have to fight fight conservatives (including Democrats) tooth and nail to make these tiny,incremental improvements and then they pay off immediately.

RT @Warhov_: “Why don’t Dems do anything?” This is actually who they work for.

@PragObots Uncommitted is the reason that we had a candidate who wasn't dying in the first place. You should have listened to them a lot sooner.

@sycamoressource @Whatapityonyou I am genuinely curious why you're paying for his website then

RT @fatfabfeminist: I think to be a true lover of the world you have to also be an intense hater of those who inflict harm

RT @gregjstoker: Kinda wish the Democrats would treat this authoritarian takeover like it was a campus protest.

RT @crulge: CORPORATE DEI WEBINAR: If you meet someone from East Asia, you should avoid asking "So which kind are you?" JACUZZI DEALERSHI…

@AlexHSant @Postposterior @micah_erfan I love that you say other idiots, like you're an idiot but not one from that specific category

@Sammich4me @Straturday1919 @AlexHSant @ThomasBrown2024 @micah_erfan Lol you truly will believe anything

@MindsetForge @EdwardVersaii He posts about it 10 times daily so we actually have a pretty good sense of his situation

@MrsDieckman @Bug_Hall your entire philosophy came from a blurry Facebook meme

@lebell79 @Bug_Hall Seriously, this looks like a horror movie

@Bug_Hall Man if you were content living off the grid, you wouldn't be posting on the internet constantly, desperately attempting to be condescending.

RT @Caroberts24: People confuse predictions with satire about long ongoing issues that they’ve only recently have become aware of

@ok_but_still @punished_stu I used to do this, but to find out who had an Android charger back in the days when those were less common

RT @ok_but_still: (doing some crowd work at my comedy show) you in the back, i am legitimately mad at you