FEMIURGE
@NORMALHOROSCOPE
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WRITER, OCCULTIST, MAKING YOUR DAY A LITTLE MORE MAGIC WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT ICON and header by Terrafey
California, USA
Joined August 2018
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PETRICHOR SERIES EL FITTING
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Nacho Cano
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#Dokkan9thAnniv
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性別変更
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Toyin Abraham
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納豆の日
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野球の時間
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手術なし
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Buket
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Nkrumah
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PRABOWOkerja CERDASterukur
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KitaKOMPAK KitaTANGGUH
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サマソニ
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女子トイレ
• 17870 Tweets
ジェイド
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ロッキン
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ひたちなか
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रक्षा मंत्री
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舞元さん
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藤田菜七子
• 11986 Tweets
YOU CAN RUN DOOM ON 16,039,018,500 CRABS
Scientists have also successfully built logic gates by using swarms of soldier crabs. It takes about 80 🦀 to operate a logic gate, and there are 8 logic gates in a byte, so 640,000 crabs can be used to store a single tweet. Which seems kind of horrifying. 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
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God I fucking love being a monk at the Monastery of Lindisfarne on this fine morning of June 8th, 793. I love looking at all the gold and silver objects and alive monks that live here.
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Celtic Mythological Creatures:
- Fucked up little guy
- Fucked up horse
- Woman (Dead)
- Woman (Wet)
- Woman (Dead) (Wet)
- WIZARD
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Designer Unknown: Milkwalker just started showing up on the packaging one day.
@strutting
We appreciate the enthusiasm of the fans! Milkwalker was used in a safety campaign on Darigold milk cartons. Designer is unknown.
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Literally cannot stop thinking about how irish poet W.B. Yeats kicked Alistair Crowley down a flight of stairs.
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People like "haha I'll go back to Tumblr I can handle a few Homestucks"
The Homestucks are just transgender and normal now. You aren't ready for the Catholics.
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If you're looking to come back to Tumblr, understand that it's mostly controlled by wizards now.
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In the 6th century, there was an evil whale named "The Purple One" who was famous for seemingly intentionally seeking out and destroying Byzantine ships
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THE SHEER HOMOPHOBIA OF THE DESTIEL CONFIRMATION CAUSED AN ENERGY VACUUM THAT GAVE VLADIMIR PUTIN PARKINSONS
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From a 1977 Christian dieting book titled "Help Lord - The Devil Wants Me Fat!"
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Next person to say "Dionysus can't be fat because the mythology says he was pretty/androgynous" is getting ritually disemboweled at the bacchanal.
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Crowley got expelled from the order of the golden Dawn but wouldn't leave. He just kept casting spells at people until yeats, also a member, kicked crowley down the stairs.
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HEY BE CAREFUL CHECKING OUT ANY TAGS LIKE #/WHITELIVESMATTER
THE FURRIES ARE HELPING TO DROWN OUT THE RACISTS SO I EXPECTED TO FIND NAZIS BUT INSTEAD FOUND ANTHROPOMORPHIC NEON GREEN TIGER BALLS
GODSPEED YOU WONDERFUL BASTARDS
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MY EMAIL DID NOT FIND YOU. FOR YEARS IT HAS WANDERED THE WILDS, HUNGRY AND SCARRED. MY EMAIL LEARNED TO REND. MY EMAIL LEARNED TO HUNT. MY EMAIL WILL FIND YOU EVENTUALLY.
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WIZARD COUNCIL 2021 BANNED SPELL LIST:
- Unending penis barrage
- Summon Ketamine Ape
- Greater Baja Blast
- Transmute Idaho
- Homoerotic Vortex
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You are nothing. Winter will take you like a bride and leave you unremembered.
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Love that they let players use incantions and spells now
The Heat melt Ice Trae and the Hawks, and ELIMINATE Atlanta from the postseason 🔥
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"Hey guys I'm selling NFT's! Check it out!"
[DIGITAL PHOTO OF YOU SLEEPING IN YOUR BED TAKEN FROM A PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE ANGLE]
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ITS LATE AT NIGHT AT THE CRATE AND BARREL.THE LADY AT THE KITCHENWARE COUNTER ASKS ME WHY WE PRESERVE THE DEAD. I SAY THAT CHANGE IS ALWAYS A FEARFUL THING. SHE NODS AND SAYS SOMETIMES SHE DREAMS OF BEING ONE THOSE SEA SHELL FOSSILS. SOLID, ETERNAL.
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This is, without a doubt, the funniest anon hate I've ever gotten.
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There is shipping discourse about the Loki show and I am desperately trying to keep myself from telling these people that in the actual mythology Loki straight up fucked a horse.
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Perhaps a system that was being kept from violent theocracy by a single 87 year old should actually be burned down
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Okay someone asked me earlier "Hey CT, you study the occult for a living, off the top of your head, what's the most popular form of the occult in today's world?"
Pseudo-Nutrition. Bar none. 1/2
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No more healing crystals I'm now selling crystals for AGONY and PAIN and HITTING and BLOOD
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You find a T-Shirt in a thrift store that says "I joined the international manhunt for [your exact name and sketch of your face] and all I got was this stupid shirt"
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Fad dieting world goes beyond simple misinformation and full on into a systemized non-scientific theory of anatomy and nutrition that 100% qualifies as magic. If you replace the term "toxins" with "evil ghosts" half of these blogs would sound like sumerian curse tablets. 2/2
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STOP USING PESTICIDES ON YOUR FLOWERS LET BUGS EAT THEM AND YOU'LL DEVELOP A STABLE POPULATION OF THINGS THAT EAT THEM. ALLOW BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO DIE. EMBRACE ROT.
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"BEING KIND AND BEING NICE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS" I SAY, SLASHING ANOTHER CAR TIRE AT RANDOM "YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING RIGHT AND STILL END UP HURTING PEOPLE" I SLASH ANOTHER TIRE. "YOU HAVE TO TRY. NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE TO TRY."
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Society has moved beyond "what if cute thing creepy" AND "what if creepy thing cute" we must destroy the boundary between revulsion and attraction. New and strange paradigms of beauty are necessary.
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THE TEENAGERS AT THE MALL MOCK ME FOR NOT MATCHING THE BLACKS ON MY CLOTHES PROPERLY, THEY DO NOT CARE THAT I AM AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL SORCERER. "YOUR GLAMOUR IS LAME, AND BETRAYS POOR SKILL WITH AETHERIOMAMCY" THEY ARE RIGHT AND IT UPSETS ME
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YALL ARE CLOWNS FOR THINKING UNDERTALE IS CRINGE THAT GAME IS GROUNDBREAKING AND DELIGHTFUL OF COURSE KIDS ARE GONNA MAKE MALFORMED OCs AND GOOFY FAN AND ITS LAME THAT A PERSON COULD LOOK AT CHILDREN BEING INSPIRED BY SOMETHING WITH ANYTHING BUT LOVE
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Why does this domestic terrorist look like a cowboy doll being haunted by the ghost of Justin McElroy
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Idk man when a guy kept calling me a faggot I kicked him in the face so hard I broke his jaw. After that, he stopped calling me a faggot. Sometimes violence is the answer.
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IM GONNA KEEP WEARING A MASK FOREVER THEYRE CUTE AS HELL MAKE FACIAL RECOGNITION TECH USELESS AND PROTECT ME FROM PARTICLES THIS IS A WIN WIN
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GETTING "WHITE GIRL WASTED" OFF THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AGAIN
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90% of being an Occultist is just
"Oh wow this lady thinks humans are descended from psychic fungi that lived in antarctica lol"
"turns out that was a foundational idea for the racial pseudoscience for most of 19th century europe. Millions died because of it."
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YOU ARE NOT "DOING HOT GIRL SHIT" YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A PSYCHIC LABYRINTH AND YOU NEED TO SIT STILL SO I CAN GET YOU OUT
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People who aren't on Tumblr: haha is that bad
People who are on Tumblr: Oh yeah we all know about the wizard council
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[BOOTY SHORTS THAT SAY "AS ABOVE SO BELOW" ACROSS THE ASS]
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THE ONLY GREEK GOD TWINK IS HERMES, APOLLO IS ON THE HUNKIER SIDE OF TWUNK AT BEST. DIONYSUS IS THE GOD OF FEASTING AND ORGIES AND PARTYING DUDE LOOKS LIKE JACK BLACK. HES GOT MEAT. HES GOT CHUB. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF.
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WHATEVER "YOUR HOLINESS" YOURE TOXIC AS FUCK FOR EXCOMMUNICATING ME ANYWAY
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Found the best witchcraft book of all time at a used bookstore today
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WHY DONT KIDS TODAY KNOW HOW TO USE A QUILL? YESTERDAY I TOOK OUT MY INKPOT AND INKSTONE AND A NEARBY MILLENNIAL BEGAN CATERWAULING WITH FEAR AND CONFUSION, THE CHURCH BELLS TOLLED
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Who will defend toronto's lakes now that the TPD are disarming bog mummies
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CHILD OF MOSS, BORN IN THE MIRE
TRUCKIN AND FUCKIN IS ALL I DESIRE
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REMEMBER: THE INTERNET DRAINS YOUR SPIRITUAL ENERGY AND THE ONLY THING THAT CAN REPLENISH IT IS GAS STATION DICK PILLS AND CAPRI SUN
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Y'all ever heard about Anton LaVey's salad dressing homosexuality test?
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Mosque Architect Voice: "Okay but what if it was just the coolest shit ever"
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Me: Even relatively benign discords can develop malicious cult dynamics if you aren't careful. Be wary of anyone trying to socially isolate you from your loved ones.
Millennials: lol fun joke OP
Zoomers: I have been in these exact discords.
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r/nosleep sort by contravertial is the funniest fucking thing
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IF YOURE BEING HAUNTED BY A MURDEROUS VICTORIAN GHOST BOY JUST GIVE HIM A SOUR GUMMY WORM SOAKED IN HOLY WATER ITLL OVERLOAD HIS LITTLE GHOST BRAIN AND POP HIM LIKE A GRAPE IN A MICROWAVE
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"Live from the river Styx, we have received reports that Princess Diana has received special permission from heaven for an excursion and --yes there she is now-- she appears to be waiting on the dock before the ferry, holding what looks to be a baseball bat in her hands."
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I swear you click on one video about the occult and it permafucks your algorithm into "DID THE ANCIENT EGYPTIANS HAVE HOVERBOARDS POWERED BY CUM???"
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If you losers actually left the house and went to pride irl you know what you would see? A person that looks exactly like your childhood friend who drowned on a school field trip. You'd probably see them a few times throughout the day. You might even smell the rot and pond scum.
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I have been CANCELLED by the magical community for teaching the little folk how to make a bong. But YOU LOOK AT THEIR TINY BONGS MADE OUT OF SINGLE CHERRIES AND TELL ME IT DOESNT SPARK JOY.
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SHIT. FUCK. I INDULGED IN THE INNATE HUMAN DESIRE TO BE LOVED AND RECOGNIZED THE SELF IN THE OTHER AGAIN. DAMMIT.
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Literally any group of gen z kids would verbally scrap these bitches for parts. No 90s bully ever had to deal with the voice chat on DOTA.
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"I can change him" well I can eat his liver literally every day
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Good pussy sounds like when lightning struck the hog pens four summers back and incinerated a bakers dozen of the poor things. Good pussy sounds like boiling fat on hungry earth like libations and cries with no godly business in the throats of a farm pig. No godly business at all
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Some of y'all really need to embarrass yourselves in constructive ways. Tell a story around a fire. Paint something with no knowledge of how to paint. Make up a song and sing it. Try to make something beautiful. Fail, and try again, for this itself is beautiful.
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HEY BABE IM BACK FROM PLACING CURSES ON CHILDREN AT THE PARK
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We have received reports earlier this morning that, following the queen's death, a short cutscenes took place, and the monarch was able to respawn as Queen Elizabeth the Holy Blade.
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THE MAN AT THE WEED STORE TELLS ME I LOVE SO COMPLETELY THAT TO LOSE THOSE DEAR TO ME IS ITS OWN KIND OF DEATH HE GIVES ME 20$ OFF MY ORDER OF PURPLE GORILLA AND UPON LEAVING I AM IMMEDEATELY HIT BY A BUS FEELING NOTHING
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As tumblrs unofficial archmage, I encourage you to step carefully.
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Rich white people in the 1850s loved creating occult flavored "secret societies" you couldn't walk ten feet without tripping over one. It was the 1850 equivalent of starting a podcast.
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"Some cocks can't be un-sucked. But what if I told you..." [I place a large ancient book covered in runes on the desk between us] "...some could?"
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Me: "If I was writing a sequel to the 2013 animated film "Turbo" I would include a cameo character for Eminem who is a snail named "Slime Shady""
My Guardian Angel: [smiles and adds another thread that connects me directly to god]
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misogyny checkpoint: what’s the first tweet that shows up when you search “women” on your page ?
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The pumpkin is saying the caption, you're married.
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Its weird for me to think that dolphins existed at the same time as queens and knights and shit like that. I feel like dolphins were invented in the 80s by crystal shops to sell porcelain statues to divorced women
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You're laughing. A German egyptologist and his prophet mystic wife who makes cuck porn fabricated biblical apocrypha based on a Dan Brown novel, and you're laughing.
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DISCOVER A NAMELESS DEITY TO FORM A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH IT
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There are so many ways to describe Christianity in ways that are technically not untrue, but would make theologians mad.
"A synergistic mystery cult formed from Orphism and Apollo-worship known as Christianity."
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I am not mad. To demonstrate how not owned I am, please check out my new novel, "The guy who never got owned and then got murdered by the haters" by JK Rowling.
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Y'all want anything from the time loop?
Y'all want anything from the time loop?
Y'all want anything from the time loop?
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