K-Mart Noah Kahan Profile Banner
K-Mart Noah Kahan Profile
K-Mart Noah Kahan

@NK_tweets_

Followers
257
Following
248
Media
3
Statuses
286

I poop n don’t wash my hands what are you gonna do about it?

Joined October 2020
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
Can you guys stop making fun of my nose for a minute, I just released a collab with Hozier
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Noah Kahan best new artist grammy winner???
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
It’s still called Twitter, always has been always will be Xoxo
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
As much as we love the attention, this account is NOT ran by or associated with Noah or his team. We are however, happy to play along with it 👀
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
Released something really sticky and sweaty a year ago today - happy one year to my favourite release ever “pine trees n armpits” cologne by Noah Kahan
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
I don’t claim this side of me, that wasn’t me that was Nathan
@NoahKahan
Noah Kahan
11 months
Ate a colored pencil for 10 dollars when I was in HS and my brother it did not taste like Cyan at all
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
The fame isn’t hitting like I had hoped so I’ve decided to revert back to playing Hurt Somebody and having you guys boo me off the stage
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Sometimes I don’t wear deodorant so that people won’t hang around me for too long and I can get some alone time
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
I can’t believe some of you guys are dumb enough to buy shirts with my face on them?? Y’all really want to be showing off this nose like that??
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Sometimes I search my name on Twitter and TikTok for an ego boost
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Do u guys seriously think I’m funny or is it just a ploy to make me like u so I release more music for ur little ear holes?
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Grammy nominated Noah Kahan x Grammy nominated Gracie Abrams ??? Eh?? 😏
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
You all doubted me (you all had so much faith in me) and I showed you all up (I would not be here without your support)
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
I lied I don’t have friends
@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
What does irrational mean? (asking for a friend)
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Suffering the post grammy nom Thanksgiving nom nom bloat, gonna need some extra compliments and words of encouragement today
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
I’m going to be brutally honest I have no idea what time I’m supposed to be making the announcement I’m just teasing and hoping for the best
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
My favourite nickname of mine is pee pee hands, I take pride in not washing those bad jacksons
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
Time to destress from weekday anxiety and start to stress about weekend anxiety
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Watching you all being friends in my live is cool but I prefer when all of your attention is focused on how attractive and talented I am
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
Saturday Night Live? Completed it mate
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Hozier Andrew Byrne and I are besties 4 the resties
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is clearly hanging out with his family outdoors drinking alcohol but captioned it “no context” because he’s trying to be cool
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
Feeling hurt and betrayed, don’t text me…. Real ones know 😞
@granolagill
gill
11 months
nobody ever said he was cute… talent ≠ pretty
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
To know me is to know that I eat moths for fun
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Do you guys think it’s okay for me to eat mac n cheese even though I’m lactose intolerant. I think it’s worth it
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
10 months
If you’re French in the kitchen, German in the bedroom, what are you in the bathroom? European (tour has been a blast so far!!)
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
What does irrational mean? (asking for a friend)
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is asking his European fans if they have listened to the new single yet. Bold for someone who’s making them wake up at 3/4 am for a livestream 👀
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
His name is literally Andrew Hozier Byrne I should not be calling myself his bestie 4 the restie
@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Hozier Andrew Byrne and I are besties 4 the resties
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
I got that dawg in me (my album)
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
My new music that I’m currently listening to (that none of you can listen to yet) is so fucking dope. Did I mention you guys can’t listen to it yet?
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I completely forgot that I’m a music artist and need to release all of that stuff I’ve been teasing you guys with oops lmao
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
A couple more hours until you can all get sticky and sweaty and then maybe listen to my new song too
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Going on stage in 20 minutes which means I must go for my nervous poo poo in 18
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
Got so famous I forgot to shit tweet, my bad
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Fame won’t stop me oversharing about my sweaty palms and not washing my hands
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
My new album Hurt Somebody ii is coming out really soon.
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is going live tomorrow night to celebrate Part Of Me being released and has asked his fans what he should drink because he can’t make the decision for himself
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Blue check is gone so I’m going to revert to using this backup account as my main
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
As if time zones didn’t confuse me enough already the Europeans decided to change theirs again what’s that all about
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
Let’s all boycott Ticketmaster into giving every one of you tickets for free
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Turns out Gary’s actually a real sweet sweetie he brought me a White Claw now we’re watching Love Island together so hopefully he doesn’t haunt me during the night
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Good morning sweet sweeties what’s going on I just blew my nose so hard I think it got smaller
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
My album comes out tonight and after that I quit
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
I don’t know what releasing music is but I will make more tiktoks then delete them straight away if that’s what you guys want
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
I’ve been waiting my whole life to announce this, and I can finally say that I poured the perfect amount of pasta for one person
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Poo poo pee pee pants
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
If I bring my dog on tour will you guys clean up the poop and pee? Penny is house trained I meant mine
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is using reverse psychology in his tweet to find out what annoys his followers so he can use their answers against them to tease them about new music
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I don’t even fucking like water
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Heading home tomorrow can’t wait to see my dogs
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Looked in a mirror for the first time today damn how was I blessed with such good looks
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I guess y’all need therapy huh? #SpotifyWrapped
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
IG live tonight Sober October is over let’s get drunk together
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
It’s almost time for me to come back on social media and post so much content like I never left
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Do you guys still like me I feel like the vibes have been off
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Just woke up from a 2 hour nap am I forgetting to do something
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
I’m going to come back from Covid 10 times sexier
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
M&M colours make no difference they all taste the same change my mind
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Go make your own then
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
New Godlight lyrics
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah’s album is like depression with a party hat on. I’m taking that as it is lyrically sad and you will cry but you will do it while dancing around your house
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is yet again teasing his followers with another unreleased song lyric. Does he get joy from doing this? Probably. - Homesick
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
I have Perfect Pitch!! My mom bought it in Best Buy a couple of years ago
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Good morning time to drink coffee until I poop, then poop until it’s time to drink more coffee
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Recorded Stick Season so it’ll come out in 2029!!!
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Can you guys stream my song pls I need that shit to get 73 billion streams before tomorrow. I will buy everyone that streams it a Subaru Outback I mean Ferrari if we can reach it
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
If you guys buy me a PS5 I’ll stream me playing it badly for you sweet sweeties
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
Ur mom
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Everyone presave I was/ I am rn or I’ll come to your house and probably just do it for you but I smell bad so you don’t want me in your house
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Do u guys think I look sexy or sexy #NewProfilePic
Tweet media one
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
NK2 will save 2020 ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Leaving LA in a couple of days and I’m still locked out of the Hype House
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
11 months
@emilyoujbara No that was me I’m claiming that, one of my proudest moments
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
2 years
I will be unavailable from 7:59am until 8:16am due to waking up with an urge to poop. Sorry for this inconvenience, I wish I had known earlier so I could have planned my schedule better for you guys
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I need everyone to turn up to my IG live tonight or I will cry on camera and it won’t be just a couple of tears
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Just woke up doing bad give me compliments
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Completely unrelated to my previous tweet but does anyone know the best Instagram filter to hide tears
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is claiming that his album is going to win him a Golden Globe because it is so good.
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
1 year
I’m really enjoying being in the UK but I just cannot grasp the way they write the date. Not because it’s complicated, but because I as an American am always right Also it’s Tuesday not Chewsday
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I can’t use Instagram on a normal day now they’ve updated it to make it even more confusing does anyone want to run my account for free
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I suck
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan Noah is already teasing his fans about what he is going to be releasing next despite Part Of Me being out for 2 hours
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
I was / I am comes out in 2 weeks and unrelated my career ends in 2 weeks!
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
Thankful for when the toilet paper doesn’t break and I don’t have to wash my hands!!
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Not sure what among us is but it sounds nice
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Just found out Bryce lives in the Sway House no wonder I can’t get into the Hype House
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Who is this Noah Kahan guy who’s stealing my name to sign off his emails
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
In fourth grade I got hit in the head with a soccer ball you can blame that for my annoying personality
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
If I picked my nose on a live there’d be a fanpage for my boogers within minutes
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
3 years
@NoahKahan I feel like this one is self explanatory
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Just drank some water someone reward me with a beer quick
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Self deprecating like it’s my job let’s go boys
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
“Pride” on Friday stream the shit out of that you sweet sweet sweeties
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I’d let Tobey Maguire bully me
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Do you guys want new music? 👀
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
So I know what NOT to play
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
I just peed and didn’t wash my hands I’m a beast and nobody can tell me otherwise
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Night night you beautiful people don’t forget to brush your teeth and wash your hands I definitely do both of those things all the time
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@NK_tweets_
K-Mart Noah Kahan
4 years
Rise and shine baby already 3 white claws in let’s go
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