NFL Hater Watch
@NFLhaterwatch
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Highlighting trash performances around the league. Submit deserving performances via DM.
Joined November 2023
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Joe Burrow in the Imaginary Bowl Today:
• 25-31, 345 Yards
• 3 TD
• 145.3 Rating
• W
Joe Cool 🥶🧊
Mahomes-Allen is the new Brady-Manning?
Did the last 3 years of NFL football not happen???
476
433
5K
48
939
18K
Dov Kleiman:
• 290 Stolen Headlines 🙌🙌
• 48 Made Up Stories 🤖🤖
• $35.70 in Ad Revenue 💰💰
• 1 Woman Defamed 😈😈
• 1 Lawsuit Incoming 👮♀️👮♀️
DO US ALL A FAVOR… DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT 🤕🔥
42
217
5K
Stefon Diggs in the 2024 NFL Playoffs:
• 36.5 Yds/G 👀👀
• 0 TD ❄️❄️
• 2 Drops 😱😱
HE MADE JOSH ALLEN… LOSE🔥😨🤩
21
284
4K
Myles Garrett Today:
• 0 Sacks
• 0 Tackles for loss
• 200% "Pass Rush win rate" per Pro Football Focus
• 3 Crossover moves in the C-gap
DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR? 🔥😈🥶
53
345
4K
The Refs Today:
• Multiple missed PI against KC
• 95 Yards called against Baltimore
• 13 Chiefs ML bets cashed
CLUTCHING UP FOR MAHOMES AGAIN 🔥🥶🙏
92
488
4K
The Dallas Cowboys Free Agency (so far):
• 0 Free Agent Signings 🔥🔥
• Multiple Starters Lost 🙏🙏
• 2 Million in Cap Space 🤑🤑
AMERICA’S TEAM… IS BROKE 🥶😱🤯
33
284
3K
Ravens Inactives Against the Steelers:
• QB Lamar Jackson
• S Kyle Hamilton
• WR Zay Flowers
• WR Odell Beckham JR
• CB Marlon Humphrey
• G Kevin Zeitler
• LB Malik Harrison
DID THEY THINK THEY DID SOMETHING? 💀🐶💔
152
207
2K
Bengals Fans Since Acquiring Joe Burrow:
• Think the world revolves around them
• Insert themselves into 99.4% of conversations not involving them (per
@Pff
)
• Average IQ of 64
• 0 Super Bowls
THEIR RISE TO PROMINENCE AS THE WORST FANBASE IN THE NFL IS UNPRECENDENTED 🤩🗣️🤯
93
309
2K
Chase Young "Revenge" Game:
• 0 Sacks
• 1 Tackle
• 13 Water bottles given
• 5 Cheers for Nick Bosa
HE SURE SHOWED WASHINGTON 🥶😈😤
77
292
2K
Streameast so far Tonight:
• 96 Buffers
• 2 Minute delay
• 3 Ad redirects per click
• 5 Actual minutes of the game shown
Failing in its biggest moment 💔💔
37
62
1K
Saquon Barkley this off-season:
• Signed with the Giants’ arch rival immediately
• Didn’t thank the fans before leaving
• Half ass thank you letter to the fans after backlash
BENEDICT ARNOLD WEARS PHILLY GREEN 🥶💯🙏
45
106
1K
Peacock:
• Stealing a Wild Card game from America
• 49 Boring ads ran
• 0 Good TV shows
• 3 Subscribers
GIVE US FOOTBALL BACK 🗣️
74
119
1K
The Washington Commanders:
• Not getting Ben Johnson
• Not getting Mike MacDonald
• Not getting Caleb Williams
• Probably getting Dan Quinn
• Probably winning 5 games next year
NEW OWNER… SAME POVERTY 🤩😨💰
85
135
995
Cowboys Defense on the Last Drive:
• 78 Seconds elapsed
• TD Allowed
• Needed refs to bail them out
HOT GARBAGE 🥶🔥
23
80
847
Eagles Defense today:
23 Tweets before the game
457 Yards allowed
42 Points allowed
0 Takeaways
TRAFFIC CONES 🔥🔥🔥 👻👻👻
11
167
828
Mekhi Becton's 2023 Season with the Jets:
• 12 Sacks Allowed 🌟
• 53.2 PFF Grade 🥶
• 143 Big Macs consumed
THE END OF A LEGENDARY RUN 🙏🌟🤩
12
32
751
Tony Romo Today:
• 48 Mahomes compliments
• Said "Mahomie" 3 times
• 4 Mahomes jerseys purchased
• 0 Insightful commentary
TONY... STOP THE GLAZING 🙏‼️
36
49
689
BROTHER… YOU ARE NOT IN THE PLAYOFFS 🔥🔥🔥
6
21
679
The Commanders Offense under EB:
• 25th in Points Per Game
• 24th in Yds/Game
• 23rd in Yds/Play
• 2nd Most Sacks Allowed
HIS BALD ASS IS NOT A GOOD COACH 🗣️🔥🤩
Eric Bieniemy not being a Head Coach after 2 Super Bowls and 7 straight AFC West titles in Kansas City is STILL BAFFLING. Then he got Charlie Brown’d by people saying he needed to run his own offense and goes to a Washington staff on its last breath. He should have never left KC.
2K
1K
19K
32
64
588
Dom DiSandro AKA "Big Dom"
1 Fight instigated
0 Bidness stood on
13 Pizzas consumed
PHILLY CULTURE 🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥
15
58
426
Justin Fields as a Chicago Bear:
• 40 TD, 30 INT 👀
• 82.8 Rating 🔥
• 3-12 Record against his Division 🌟
• 13 Fumbles 🗣️
THE KING IN THE NORTH... S3E9 GAME OF THRONES🔥🥶🙏
4
20
428
Jamal Adams since Thursday:
1 TD allowed
Cried 7 times
1 Angry tweet
PREZ… SUCKS 💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥
9
41
389
George Kittle “Vengeance” Game Yesterday:
• 2 Receptions
• 4 Yards
• 0 TD
BETTER THAN KELCE? 🔥💀🗣️
22
29
380
Tony Romo Today:
• 2 Quarterbacks Glazed
• 12 Combined Mahomes/Allen Jerseys Purchased
• 3 Hours of yapping
• 0 Insightful Commentary
JUST YAPPIN 🗣️🗣️🗣️
9
32
372
JJ McCarthy Tonight:
• 10-18, 140 Yards
• 0 TD
SPECTATOR MODE 🔥🤩
11
24
371
Stefon Diggs Today:
• 8 Targets
• 3 Receptions
• 21 Yards
WATCHING THE CONFETTI AGAIN💀💔🤩
11
19
356
OJ Simpson Career Stats:
• 11,236 Rush Yards
• 61 Rush TD
• 2 Murders
• 1 Police Chase
• 1 Fraudulent Trial
• 1 Ticket to Hell
REST IN PISS BOZO✌️🔥
8
36
342
Trent Williams on the 49ers Second Drive:
• False Start Penalty
• Holding Penalty
THE LIGHTS WERE BRIGHTER THAN EXPECTED 😱🤩🌟
15
30
333
Lamar Jackson at Half:
• 5-12, 67 Yards
• 4 Rush, 27 Yards
• Fumble Lost
HE NOT SAVING US FROM ANYTHING RIGHT NOW🙏😭💀
13
19
286
NFL Notification this Offseason (so far):
• 17 Made-Up Rumors 🤩🤩
• 47 Stolen Reports 🥶🥶
• 0 Original Stories 😱😱
• 14 Imaginary Sources 🧠🧠
THE WORST ACCOUNT ON NFL TWITTER? 👀😱
7
14
291
Kadarius Toney ruled out for personal reasons (sucks at football) 🔥🔥
Chiefs now officially have ruled out WR Kadarius Toney for Sunday’s AFC Championship game due to a hip injury and personal reasons.
2K
666
16K
6
14
288
Trey "woke up pissed off" Palmer Today:
• 2 Receptions
• 32 Yards
• 1 Ticket to Cancun
WE SURE HE'S NOT STILL ASLEEP? 🗣️🥶🔥
4
9
273
NFL Refs Tonight:
• Made up call to save the Cowboys
• Pretended not to hear Taylor Decker report as eligible
• 3 Parlays cashed
• 9 Straight bets cashed
SHARING THE COWBOYS MVP WITH CEEDEE 🙏🔥⭐️
12
39
269
Daron Bland & Stephon Gilmore Combined Last Night:
• 8 targets
• 8 completions
• 122 yards
• 1 TD
• Perfect Passer Rating Allowed
LOCKDOWN 🔒🤩🔥
7
28
270
Damar Hamlin in the 2023-2024 Season:
• 2 Tackles
• 0 INT
• 0 PD
• Failed fake punt
CBPOTY SNUB? 🥶😳
8
16
268
Damar Hamlin Tonight:
• 1 Rush, 2 Yards (Turnover on Downs)
• 2 Tackles
COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR 🔥🤩🙏
5
7
260
Travis Kelce at Halftime:
• 1 Reception
• 1 Yard
• 1 Temper Tantrum
GHOST (Taylor's Version) 👻🌟🤩
7
34
262
Sean McDermott:
• 3 Straight Divisional Round losses
• Another great team wasted
• Owned by Mahomes/Andy Reid
HAVE THE TSA ON HIGH ALERT TOMORROW ‼️🚨
5
16
250
Chase Young against the Lions in the NFC Championship:
• 0 Sacks
• 1 Pressure
• 4 Gaps abandoned
• 20% Effort
• 6 Gatorades handed out
HE’S GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL… AS A HEALTHY SCRATCH😤🥶🤩
6
11
250
Dak Prescott so far:
• 7-13, 61 Yards
• 2 INT
• 26.9 Rating
YEAAA HERE WE GO... TO CANCUN 🌴🥤🤩
7
20
241
Florida State at Halftime:
• Down 42-3
• Out gained 383 to 185 Yards
• 2 Turnovers
PROVING THEY DESERVED A SPOT… IN THE POP TARTS BOWL 🔥🤩💀🙏
16
21
241
George Pickens Tonight:
5 Rec
19 Yards
0 TD
PICKENSBURGH… THIS IS FOR YOU 🙏🙏🙏🤩🤩🤩
8
14
231
George Fant in the First Quarter:
• 3 False Starts
• Shaking before every snap
THE LIGHTS WERE BRIGHTER THAN EXPECTED🌟 💀💔
6
11
234
Kathy Hochul:
• 0 Good policies passed
• Probably a communist
• Afraid of snow
• Hates football
WE DEMAND A SPECIAL ELECTION ‼️
12
26
231
Dan Quinn’s Defense in the 2024 NFL playoffs:
• 41 Points Allowed
• 415 Yards Allowed
• 0 Takeaways
• 0-1 Record
WASHINGTON GOT A GOOD ONE 🥶🙏🤩
9
16
219
Deebo Samuel in the Super Bowl:
• 3 Receptions
• 33 Yards
• 0 TDs
DEEBO WAS ON DEMON TIME 😈🔥🤯
14
24
221
This NFL Season:
• Boring Postseason
• Trash QB Play
• Taylor Swift on every broadcast
• The Villains win again
SUFFERING 💔🙏
15
30
217
The Eagles Defense so far:
• 327 Yards Allowed
• 23 Points Allowed
• 69 Missed Tackles
WILL THEY BLAME THE GRASS AGAIN? 🔥🤩🙏
7
6
214
Tyler Bass to Tie the Game:
• Missed FG
• Sold Buffalo's Hopes and Dreams
TYLER ASS IS BACK🥶🗣️💔
8
13
214
The Eagles since going 10-1:
• 1-6 Record
• 493 Missed Tackles (estimate)
• One and done in the playoffs
BYE EAGLES BYE 👋👋👋
7
24
210
Zay Flowers in the AFC Championship:
• Taunting Penalty
• Goal-line fumble
• Injured himself on the bench
ROOKIE CTE🌟🤩🙏
15
15
199
Cam Newton since 2021:
• 0 NFL Games Played
• 57 Twitch Streams
• 27 Podcasts Hosted
• 848 Hours thinking about Brock Purdy
SUPER CAM 🤩🥶🔥
“Brock Purdy is the 10th-best player on the 49ers”
To earn the 'game changer' label, you must be among the top three players on your team -
@CameronNewton
1K
399
3K
6
24
203
Jalen Hurts at Halftime:
• 7-16, 55 Yards
• INT
• 26.8 Rating
• Benched
H1M 🤩⭐️🥶
2
21
202
D'Andre Swift today:
6 Carries
13 Yards
2.2 YPC
Sonned by Deommodore Lenoir
AGENT 0 😈😈😈🔥🔥🔥
6
12
198
Kyle Shanahan in Super Bowls:
• 0-3 Record
• Blown three 10+ Point Leads
• 2 OT Losses
• Author of 28-3 Choke
THE ANTICLUTCH 🔥🤩🥶
6
23
192
CTE Against Antonio Brown:
• 28-0 Record (Head-to-head)
• 38% Of Braincells Destroyed
• 1 Career ruined
The most one-sided rivalry in history 💔
8
6
186
Damar Hamlin Stats this Season:
5 Games activated
2 Snaps played
97 Heart emotes recorded
MAKE A WISH CBPOTY 💯😱
13
5
194
The 2023-24 Cincinnati Bengals:
• 1 Hypothetical Division Championship
• 1 Hypothetical MVP
• Hypothetical Super Bowl 58 Champions
• Missed the playoffs (reality)
THE GREATEST IMAGINARY TEAM EVER? 🔥🤩😳
Browns fans told us that winning back to back division titles, 5 playoff games, and an AFC Championship wasn’t anything except a participation trophy.
Now Browns fans are running victory laps because their team made the playoffs and lost by 31 points.
Most moronic fanbase.
22
60
722
5
18
184
Darnell Savage so Far:
• Dropped Pick-6
• Burned for 32-yard TD
26 SAVAGE 🤩🔥🤩
8
10
185
Anders Carlson's Senior Year at Auburn (2022 Season):
• 70.6 FG%
• 2/9 (22%) from 50+ Yards
HOW IS BRO IN THE LEAGUE? 🚨‼️💔
9
4
175
Travis Kelce at Halftime:
• 1 Target
• 0 Receptions
• 0 Yards
TRASH (Taylor's Version) 🩶
10
11
180
Terry Fontenot:
• Signed Kirk Cousins to a 4 year, $180 million contract
• Drafted a 24 year old QB in the same offseason
WAS HE DARED TO DRAFT HIS THIRD @? 👀🥶 😱
3
15
183
AFC Hater Watch Player of the Week: Stefon Diggs
• 3 Receptions
• 21 Yards
• 2 Drops
• 5 Trade requests
SHOULD’VE WATCHED THE BALL INSTEAD OF THE CONFETTI 😳😱🥶
4
10
175
Brock Purdy so far:
7-14, 127 Yards
3 INT
48.3 Rating
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2023-2024 NFL MVP... TYREEK HILL 🤩⭐️🤯
16
17
166
This Official:
1 Tackle
1 Sack
1 Safety
12TH MAN OF THE YEAR🔥😱😈
6
15
175
Dan Campbell Tonight:
• 0 FGs settled for
• 100 4th downs attempted
• 0 NFC Championships
BRO OUT HERE PLAYING MADDEN 🎮🗣️
3
6
171
The NFC East this Season:
• Called themselves the "NFC Beast"
• The Cowboys: Lost to a
#7
seed
• The Eagles: Started 10-1, the lost 6 of 7, went 1 and done in Wild Card round
• The Giants: 6-11 after a Wild Card run
• The Commanders: lol
MORE LIKE... THE NFC LEAST 😱🗣️🤩
7
10
164
The NFL Hater Watch DROY: Emmanuel Forbes
• 0 WRs Locked Down
• 50.9 PFF Grade
• 2 Times owned by AJ Brown
71% OF THE WORLD IS COVERED BY WATER... 0% IS COVERED BY EMMANUEL FORBES 🌊🔥🤩
3
12
169
Patrick Mahomes in the Playoffs (Career):
• 289 Yards/Game, 2.4 TD/Game
• 105.7 Rating
• 2X Super Bowl Champion, MVP
Joe Burrow in the Playoffs (Career):
• 260.9 Yards/Game, 1.3 TD/Game
• 93.8 Rating
• 0-1 Super Bowl
• Cool Pregame Spinning Throw
L TAKE🤯🔥🗣️
14
18
157
C.J. Gardner-Johnson yesterday:
• Waved goodbye to fans in the 2nd quarter
• Had his faced caved in by CMC
• Purchased 2 tickets to Cancun
NOT STANDING ON BIDNESS 😤🥶
6
11
162
Josh Allen at Halftime:
• 7-20, 46 Yards
• 35% Completion percentage
• INT
• 23.4 Rating
DON'T HIDE NOW... WHO HAD THIS MAN AS MVP? ‼️🥶😱
21
18
165
The Browns Defense in the First Half:
• 286 Yards Allowed
• 24 Points Allowed
• 0 Takeaways
THE BEST DEFENSE IN THE NFL? 🔥‼️😈
18
13
160
The 49ers Defense on the Final Drive:
• Failed 4th-Down Stop
• Playing 8 Yards off the LOS every Play
• Super Bowl Losing TD Allowed
AN EPIC CHOKE 🙏🤩🔥
4
18
161
George Pickens Today:
• 0 Targets
• 0 Receptions
DID HE EVEN SUIT UP? ⁉️😳🥶
11
14
159
Brock Purdy on MNF Tonight:
18-32, 222 Yards
4 INTs
42.6 Rating
IS HE COLORBLIND? ⁉️😱🤯
4
23
161
Zay Flowers that drive:
• Taunting call
• Goal-line fumble
CHIEFS SPECIAL AGENT 🔥🙏🤩
7
7
159
"In games like this the ball matters" -TONY "CTE" ROMO 🔥🔥🔥
5
2
154
The Texans O-line Today:
• 31 Rush Yards Blocked For
• 139 Pre-Snap Penalties
• Sold CJ Stroud
REVOLVING DOORS 🚪🔥🗣️
4
9
150
The LA Chargers:
• Just drafted Joe Alt
• Passed on Malik Nabers
• Wasting Justin Herbert's Career
FREE 10 🙏🥶🤩
6
14
154
Tua Tagovailoa at Hafltime:
• 6-11, 94 Yards
• TD (bailed by Tyreek)
• INT
• 75.6 Rating
THERE'S A LOT OF ICE TONIGHT... BUT NONE IN HIS VEINS 🥶🧊
9
2
147
Antonio Brown since storming off the field on January 2, 2022:
• 0 Receptions, 0 TDs ❌
• 63% of Brain Cells Lost 🧠
• 9,390 Troll Posts 🔥
• 100% Impression Farming 👀
FROM THE NEXT JERRY RICE... TO NFL TWITTER TROLL🔥🙏🥶
7
11
150
Isiah Pacheco so far:
• 4 Carries, 9 Yards
• Fumble Lost
AT LEAST HE'S RUNNING ANGRY 😡🔥🥶
3
9
148
Tyler Bass Today:
• 1/3 FG
• Missed 27 Yard FG
TYLER ASS 🤮🔥🗣️
6
8
144
Jalen Hurts Tonight:
17-31, 143 Yds
2 INT
40.1 Rating
L
H1M🤩⭐️🔥
6
19
144
The Church of Scientology Ad:
• 0 Converts Made
• $2.5 Million Wasted
• 12,500 Tom Cruise Jokes Inspired
WE ARE NOT LISTENING 🌟🤩
8
21
150
The Eagles Defense against the 3-12 Cardinals:
• 449 Yards allowed
• 35 Points conceded
• Game-winning TD drive allowed
THE TRAFFIC CONES ARE BACK😳🥶🔥
1
21
143
JPAFootball this week:
149 Stolen Tweets
88 Engagement Baits
0 Retweets of real reporters
0 Original reports
RUINING NFL TWITTER 🗣️🗣️🔥
16
10
142
Calvin Ridley Tonight:
8 Targets
4 Receptions
26 Yards
BRO MUST'VE BET HIS UNDER 🔥🔥🔥💰💰💰
2
14
141
Anders Carlson Yesterday:
• 2/3 FG
• Missed critical 41 yd FG
• Took 5 years off Matt LaFleur's life
AN HONORABLE TRIBUTE TO BLAIR WALSH 🙏🔥🗣️
3
4
143