I yelled ‘hold the lift please!’ earlier whilst on the phone, running in heels and carrying a take-out coffee. Cannot believe I am a busy exec in a Hallmark movie whose life is about to be turned upside down by inheriting a B&B in the countryside!!!
I am heartbroken to say that my dear friend Dawn Foster (
@DawnHFoster
) died suddenly at home, related to her long term illness. We loved her very much. Raymond is safe and well with me - and will be adopted by my sister, who loved Dawn too.
It felt very strange missing London Book Fair but I did have a rather good excuse - this special delivery. He’s enormous; I’m besotted; Neville and Luna will never speak to me again.
I think sometimes authors worry they get ONE SHOT at publishing success which is not the case. I have taken on writers whose previous books I rejected - and I have sold books by authors when I couldn’t place their first (or even second) books. It is a marathon, not a sprint!
Absolutely iconic behaviour from my mum: discovered she has a giant Tupperware of home made crumble topping which she keeps in the fridge so she can make herself an individual crumble portion whenever she wants?!
Game of Thrones is actually about climate change and how humanity ignores it because of petty concerns about wealth and power when really we need to unite to save the planet, in this essay I will
If you ever want to feel like less of a dumbass please know that today I had accidentally arranged lunch with two separate publishers, in the same restaurant, and they all turned up at once 🥴🥴🥴
It makes me really happy across my list to see authors who really worked at it - books we couldn’t sell, books which sold but flopped - achieve big book deals & chart positions later in their careers. Sometimes I think we act like you have one shot: but it’s not true.
Someone just tweeted about a film they love. I hate the film they referenced. So you know what I did? I did nothing and let them tweet their enjoyment with impunity.
I’m not going to lie, I MAY have shed a tear:
#TheThursdayMurderClub
is the fastest selling adult crime debut since records began, hurtling into number 1 in the charts with 45,000 hardbacks sold. AND he’s just signed a deal to write two more in the series!
@richardosman
When you have an offer of rep from an agent I think the most important questions are:
What are your editorial thoughts for my book? How would you position and sell my book? What would you do with translation/film rights? What is your track record in this area?
5 jobs I’ve had
1. Commander of the armies of the north
2. General of the Felix legions
3. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius
4. Father to a murdered son
5. Husband to a murdered wife
... and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next
As an agent you’re always judged by your flashiest deals/biggest bestsellers but most of my best agenting work is the stuff no one knows about if I do it successfully: the all-night-editing, Kofi-Annan-peace-brokering, Dr-Phil-style-counselling work that we do in the shadows.
I got such an obnoxious response to asking for romance novel recs and it made me think how frustrating it is that there is still so much snobbery about a genre that takes just as much skill to write as any other! You will pry Ice Planet Barbarians from my cold dead hands fyi.
All I want is for every single book I sell to become a commercial AND critical success and be turned into an Oscar-nominated film and make millions in royalties, cannot believe that might seem too much to ask
I just started watching You and I have LOST IT at the fact Joe is wearing an apron in a bookshop??? WHY IS HE WEARING AN APRON?? WHAT MIGHT HE SPILL ON HIMSELF??
Wearing an ankle length dress and enjoying hoiking it up as I walk downstairs and immediately becoming a heroine in a BBC period drama sweeping into the hallway to wonder if the man I love will overcome my lack of a dowry and connections.
I am always asked what the best part of my job is and I reserve the right to have many different Best Parts BUT there is a particular magic in telling a debut author they have a book deal 🔥🔥🔥
My previous best ever editorial note was ‘I think it’s more realistic that he would be topless whilst building a gazebo?’ but I topped it today with ‘I don’t think anyone would partake in an orgy on a full stomach.’
I sometimes feel most of twitter needs to be told that it’s okay to NOT have an opinion on things. Maybe you don’t know much! Maybe no one asked you! It’s okay, my dude, save your hashtag hot take and keep on scrolling.
I once used the word palaver in an email to an LA entertainment lawyer. She had to look it up and then responded ‘thank you for bringing this word into my life - it sums up probably 90% of my work activities.’ So funny.
Publishing trend-setter that I am, I am now on day 6 of what 111 (and my symptoms) tells me was That Virus. Main symptoms for me were v high fever, dry cough and headache. I still have NO sense of smell or taste which is mad but today is the first day where I feel more human 💪🏻
Three years today our wedding photos came back feat one of the best photos of all time. Is it a heist movie? Is it Reservoir Dogs meets Bridesmaids? Who can say.
After the sudden (and extremely unexpected) death of a friend this week my new resolution is to spend more time doing things I love, with people I love ❤️ so I am off to the Bloomsbury Hotel for afternoon tea with one of my BFFs. 🙌🏻🙌🏻
It’s my 2nd wedding anniversary today so I am legally obliged to post wedding pictures!! I feel very lucky to have spent lockdown with my favourite person in the world.
Lordy I get so SICK of the idea that women dedicate themselves to tearing other women down. I have so many excellent women in my life and their love and support has helped me through so much, and driven me on to achieve things I thought I wasn’t capable of.
Me usually: ah Britain, aka rainy fascism island
Me when American twitter mocks GBBO and says our food is worse than theirs: I would DIE for the roast potato and unpasteurised cheese, bring me your finest Union Jack and bury me in a giant sticky toffee pudding.
Huge congratulations to
@richardosman
who has the Christmas number one slot in fiction hardback and fiction paperback, topping off an extraordinary year!
One of my favourite parts of primary school was absolutely belting out songs in assembly. This time of year will ALWAYS be harvest festival to me which means autumn days when the grass is JEWELLED and the silk inside a chestnut shell + cauliflowers FLUFFY and cabbages GREEN.
When Agatha Christie learned of her husband’s affair and deliberately disappeared, thus causing feverish speculation that he had been responsible for her demise, she was the original ‘Gone Girl’. In this essay I will
Whilst I keep crying, can I just say that Dawn would have been absolutely BESIDE herself at the idea that Raymond (tough SE London BSH who kills rats) is currently living with Neville and Luna (sentient teddy bear BSH who cry if they see a spider). She would be cackling.
We were talking about full Englishes earlier and I told Den nothing makes me more furious than beans in a ramekin. WHERE DID THE LITTLE TROLL EVEN FIND A RAMEKIN
I cannot say just how hard the past few days have been & I know it won’t sink in for a while. But the tributes I have read tonight have filled my heart. She was so righteous and angry and loving and uncompromising - so funny and kind. She never stopped fighting for the underdog.
THREAD about editing. In my role I normally do at least one structural edit & then a line edit with an author - sometimes excising plot strands or characters but also catching all the small stuff too like continuity (this is important to the story) and grammar. (1/6)
Turns out that a long sleeved jumpsuit is not an ideal item to wear to a booster jab. Juliet Mushens: making the incredibly stupid life choices so YOU don’t have to.
Just wrote ‘if not I’m afraid we’ll have to kiss each other’ instead of miss each other in a work email and my adrenaline levels having just caught it are SKY HIGH.
Things we absolutely KNOW will happen in
#LineOfDuty
series 5:
- Kate will loiter suspiciously in doorways & have her cover blown
- Steve will get beaten up by some bad guys
- ‘you have the right to be questioned by an officer of at least one rank superior’
Today I left the office to privately listen to a voice note from a friend. Thought my audio was broken only to realise that my Bluetooth was on and I had just played it over the speakers in our office.