Ron Fister
@MrFisterLLC
Followers
4,308
Following
407
Media
448
Statuses
6,417
Ron here I’m Ron,, Aggie by the Grace of God, booze hound by Law , diabetic by Choice ,,sources are my own and are 100% accurate according to my sources
Joined June 2023
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This is how my 8 year old cousin dances after 2 Dr. Peppers
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Ron here
I’m Courtney McKinney.
I’m 40.
I love college football.
I live in Alabama and I genuinely do not give AF who any of you are voting for in November.
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The correct beer for each setting
Default: Miller Lite
Out of Miller: Coors or Michelob
Baseball park: Michelob
Pool: Michelob cactus lime
Lake: Leinenkugel or Kona big wave
Airport: Blue moon
Ski lift: Fireball shooter
Wisconsin: Spotted cow
With the old man: his beer of choice
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Scottie arrest and NCAA trailer ,, this has been an outstanding morning for white boys who are prone to overstimulation
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A burner is an excuse to tweet behind drug use from potential employers not an excuse to be an incel for likes go back to 4chan
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@pabstblutrippin
Do whatever you god damn please don’t ever ask me permission to drink a beverage ever again
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My name is Ron Fister and you can’t make me stop Day drinking on a Saturday you just fucking can’t
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DISCLAIMER: Miller Lite is still the correct beer for each of these settings besides Wisconsin (you gotta have a spotted cow when you’re in Wisconsin)
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Not gonna get drunk tonight due to getting drunk yesterday but gonna get drunk tomorrow
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Wishing I was a pirate ,, Mondays don’t mean anything to a pirate all they know that when they wake up to the salty smell of the vast seas another day of adventure and wonder awaits
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@1ReesieMula
4. Cashier at the movie theatre who laughed at me after I embarrassingly responded “you too” when he told me to enjoy the movie
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1. The beer in my hand
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This life is a good life in the United fucking States of America ,, GOD BLESS
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Rons Friday plans in chronological order:
1) fitness center
2) experience existential dread at the site
3) take anger out on the bottle
4) make enemies
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@ernietedeschi
Depends if Rome had a football franchise that was always the butt end of a joke but recently turned into a force to be reckoned with
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The irony of calling someone poor when they’re flexing parachuting adderall instead of pow (also a more expensive platinum amex exists)
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Alcoholic beverages that technically don’t count
- at most one bottle of wine
- drinks at corporate happy hour
- just one drink (the most difficult beverage)
- the Blood of Christ
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NOT the triple option I can tell you that much
Without Googling, name something France invented👇🇫🇷
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Me and my coworker best friend have a solid professional relationship going,, we have a similar approach for solving difficult tasks and there is much opportunity for us to accomplish great things,, however that is now all out the window after I came on her 3 times this morning
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My two purposes in life are to create world peace and get drunk and I’m all out of world peace
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To celebrate my 3000th follower I will fly out 5 lucky fans Mr. Beast style (only one walks out the plane alive) to the destination of the Fuck A Fan Challenge where the winner will get to watch from the corner
To celebrate my 500th follower Foodacris said he’ll do a Fuck A Fan Challenge ,, please DM him to opt in
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The Amazon app should require a field sobriety test when you check out
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I am beyond overjoyed to share to the feed that I, Ron Fister, have accepted a haircut appointment for this upcoming week
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This is a bittersweet feeling but I’m sorry to say to the feed I have officially quite drinking alcohol FOR GOOD,, my new wholesome hobby in place of the bottle is currently pending
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Ugly ass dudes won’t get a response from some absolutely unhinged DMs so they lash out on the poor unsuspecting girls by posting the screenshots on Twitter ,, such pathetic behavior
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Resurfacing this just in case
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I see a glaring issue with the choice of this actor for the role
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If you want to take this domestic from me you’re gonna have to pry it finger for finger off Ron’s cold dead body,, how you fucking feel about that white boy?
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Hair is a mess in this humidity so gonna put on a good drinking hat before the tavern ,, it’s a drinking hat because Ron’s gonna be drinking with the hat on and it’s good because it’s Ron’s
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I am seriously quitting drinking I am absolutely fucking done putting this poison in my body nothing good ever comes from alcohol.
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Took her putt putting and 20 minutes into 1.5 hour session we decided this isn’t us so we’re going to my favorite tavern where the ciggerettes are indoors and billiards are in the table
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Friggin pissed the fuck off,, might do some damage control where I control the situation with damage
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@b_powers69
Brock I’ll drink on your behalf in the meantime,, you just ordered a vodka soda at Buffalo Wild Wings nice Friggin order brock
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@bob69420710
Unrelated but I’m really craving the red fish tacos at hula hut right about now
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Just now came up with Rons Saturday plan:
Be drunk the entire day
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Rons preliminary 4th of July schedule
8:00AM - wake up in the worlds greatest country in the god damn universe
8:01AM - cry thinking about the worlds greatest country in the god damn universe
8:02AM - drink
Rest of the day is TBD
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New intern next to me is a great addition to the team dynamic ,, when me and other coworkers talk ball he butts in with the stats he pulled up like the side person in podcasts
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@3YearLetterman
@AuburnMemes
@Ashncoll
Cant say I am but I do friggin love boats and broads and I especially love broads on boats
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As a man after you drink one bottle of red on a weekday you’re faced with the difficult decision to just go to bed or consume whatever other beverage is in your fridge
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Muting the word “millar” wasn’t enough so I might’ve muted 100 accounts by now who posted pictures of their dumbass golf polos daddy bought them
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@BartyBeek
You should DM him this instead of anonymously posting him on the internet where no one knows him
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It’s been a really good run the last 50 years but Ron is sad to say I have officially retired from drinking. If you’ve ever gotten shit rocked hammered with Ron I would like to personally thank you for the memories we don’t remember but those days will now be over here on.
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#NewProfilePic
I’m done advertising myself as an Aggie Twitter fan account ,, just a waste of breath
#FireJimbo
#RonHere
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@3YearLetterman
@CourtAnne1225
Ron prefers being seated at the bar top (closest access to the bottle)
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Forgot I was supposed to get wash board abs for the 4th festivities ,, I guess I’ll just audible to my All American Beer Belly for the 5th year in a row
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When my net worth gets to 7 figures I’m still gonna be ordering arches breakfast
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My name is Ron Fister and I love having sex with hot women ,, that shit is gas no cap!🚫🧢🔥
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Hoping to see less golf polos flooding my feed once these kids internships are over
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Air fryer couldn’t fit 4 taquitos as I originally prepared so gonna meal prep the 4th to heat up for a future date
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Sound off in comments below if you are drinking or not drinking today my team is conducting some research
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Handful of teenagers have entered the pool playing their pool games and am still well established in my corner of sun solo slamming killer lites with my speaker on low ,, I am showing the youth that this could be their future if they play their cards right
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Should’ve known my horny ass couldn’t adequately handle corporate America
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@MurrayHillBro22
If you posted this in any of my group chats you’d be banished to Twerp Hell so it’s crazy to me you’d put this online
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My name is Ron Fister and you can’t make me stop Day drinking on a Saturday you just fucking can’t
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I absolutely fucking cannot wait for this team to be humbled
Quinn Ewers on Texas being in the SEC:
“We’re going to be everybody’s biggest game, for sure.”
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To celebrate my 500th follower Foodacris said he’ll do a Fuck A Fan Challenge ,, please DM him to opt in
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Really enojoying my decision to rewatch trailer park boys again
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Record low morning for Ron,, walked out the trailer with my gym bag and realized I forgot lunchbox so had to go back to get it then walked out realizing I put gym bag down in my trailer so went bag and was in my car when I realized I never put on a belt so had to go back
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